Early morning the next day.
Bi Ningshuai sat by a congee street vendor not far from the imperial city. The place was excellent with hot congee carrying a delicious aroma.
This was his seventh bowl already; his stomach became round and full. He belched before gazing towards the city, seemingly waiting for someone.
“He’s probably caught and killed.” The turtle lay lazily on the table; its stomach also filled after three bowls. It couldn’t move at all.
This old man simply had the best congee.
“Please, he can’t die that easily. He’s probably lost in pleasure, still sleeping in the emperor’s bed and can’t get up. Old man, another one.” Bi Ningshuai loosened his belt and felt that he could eat more.
“Coming! Warm Gentle Fragrance, one coin for one bowl.” An old man wearing a tattered daoist robe carried a hot bowl over, looking quite excited. His face was black and full of wrinkles as he said: “Here you go.” [1]
“Sigh, gentle fragrance is the grave of heroes.” The turtle sighed while staring at the imperial city.
“Sir, please don’t say that, my congee is both good and cheap, worthy of any heroes. I’m the only one selling something this good for one coin, really now…”
“G.o.dd.a.m.n! I’m talking about gentle fragrance!” The turtle got up and pointed at the daoist.
“Yes, I’m talking about gentle fragrance too!” The daoist responded seriously.
Bi Ningshuai was in a bad mood after being robbed by Feiyun. Now, this daoist kept on blabbering next to his ear.
He erupted and slammed the table: “f.u.c.k, enough yabbering!”
“Hey, how can you shout at an old man like this? The times are changing, yelling at someone who provides you amazing congee, the heaven must be blind!” The old man stomped his foot and lamented.
Bi Ningshuai became even more annoyed after hearing this phrase. He picked up the empty bowl and threw it at the old man’s head. “Boom!”
“The heaven is blind, right? I’ll show you blind!” He smacked the old man’s head again with the bowl.
“I’m p.i.s.sed at the heaven too, what the h.e.l.l is it doing?!” The turtle became sentimental and joined in, also smacking the old man on the head to relieve its indignation for the past several thousand years.
The poor old man covered his head with both hands while crouching next to the stove. The two eventually got tired of playfully hitting him and went back to their seat, drenched in sweat.
“This bowl is solid.” Ningshuai looked at the bowl and said.
“The old man’s head is tough too.” The turtle said while staring at the old man in a haughty manner.
Ningshuai drank his eighth bowl while continuing to wait. It wasn’t till noon until they saw Feiyun coming out.
His robe was disorderly; his hair draped down his back. He rubbed his eyes, looking tired from a long session of who knows what. One thing was for certain, the men who had just spent a night at a brothel would look exactly like him.
“Over here!” Ningshuai shouted.
Feiyun spotted the two long ago and walked over, sitting down on the other side of the table: “You’re up early, gentlemen, how was the harvest last night?”
“How many times last night for you?” Ningshuai smiled.
“What are you talking about? I was busy carrying out business.” Feiyun tied up his hair again, looking as gallant and exceptional as ever. His red eyes looked pure yet enchanting.
“Then why do I smell a woman’s scent on you, don’t move, stop moving…” Ningshuai spotted a long strand of hair between Feiyun’s pants. He sniffed and salivated: “Not bad! Must have been quite a night!”
“How strange, why is her hair right there, don’t tell me…” The turtle put on a serious expression.
“Boom!” Feiyun sent it flying towards the street just like a ball.
Bi Ningshuai saw the turtle’s outcome and let go of the hair. He sat upright and said: “We didn’t see a single spirit stone in the treasury, very few spirit treasures and medicines too. Did someone else get there before us?”
Feiyun put away the hair and said: “It’s expected.”
“Then why the h.e.l.l did you tell us to go to the treasury? Don’t you know how dangerous it was?”
“I figured it out after talking to Long Luofu.” Feiyun shook his head.
“What?” Ningshuai thought that it must be something big.
“Steaming Gentle Fragrance, have one, sir, just one coin.” The old daoist put on an enthusiastic smile again as if he wasn’t the one who got beaten earlier.
Feiyun accepted the bowl without looking at the daoist. He took a sip and loved the aroma.
“Go on now.” Ningshuai asked again.
“The eight important paths to Central Royal are taken down. Twenty-three separate coalitions are attacking. The next ten days will be very important so the royal clan is using all of its resources, wanting to have a final stand here.” Feiyun revealed.
This explosive news left Ningshuai’s slack-jawed. The congee in his mouth poured back into the bowl.
The old daoist standing near the stove was also shaken to hear this news. He sighed afterward.
The turtle finally crawled back, panting for breath. It earnestly spoke: “I got it, I finally got it. That hair might be an Abnormality, trust me on this because I’m extremely knowledgeable. Some Abnormalities have this form and they latch onto men’s pants in order to suck their yang energy. Feiyun, take out that hair again, I know just how to make it reveal its true form.”
Feiyun smacked his own forehead. What a ridiculous turtle.
However, it looked so sincere that it probably didn’t know what was going on. Thus, he forgave and didn’t kick it this time.
Suddenly, Ningshuai became dizzy and fell to the ground. The turtle was next.
Feiyun immediately knew something was wrong. He channeled his Buddhist energy and tried to force this strange aroma out of his body.
“Whoos.h.!.+” A big iron pot smacked his head from behind, issuing a loud boom.
Feiyun wanted to stand up but another hit struck him. “Boom!”
His eyes turned dark as he fell to the ground. Nonetheless, he still caught the daoist"s familiar face.
When he woke up again, he found himself to still be inside the tent. He rubbed his head due to the terrible headache while trying his best to open his eyes.
“d.a.m.n geezer, don’t let me catch you because you owe me two hits.”
That old man was no other than the guy who sold Feiyun the ginseng soup and Ye Xiaoxiang the lotus congee.
He then heard miserable screams coming from the gate of the imperial city. A naked man was hung up there while crying.
Many cultivators and guards watched from beneath. This was quite a rare sight so they started laughing and commenting.
Next to the naked man was a turtle swinging back and forth just like a dried piece of meat hanging from the ceiling. It was black from top to bottom with a meaty fragrance. It was clearly roasted not long ago.
Feiyun turned cold, realizing that they got utterly played. Fortunately, the old man didn’t want their lives or they would be dead by now.
It looked like there were still many hidden masters in Jin. He needed to stop underestimating people.
His body turned into a gust sweeping by the gate. Bi Ningshuai and the turtle suddenly disappeared from sight.
A while later near Jin River outside the capital.
Bi Ningshuai wept and wanted to jump into the river to commit suicide, thinking that he had lost all face today.
The turtle wanted to do the same. It jumped into the river several times but couldn’t die so it eventually gave up. It sat down next to a water plant with its head hanging low, no longer having the will to live.
“This is what you get for bullying an old man.” Feiyun laughed at those two.
Unfortunately, he thought about something and touched his spatial stone. “G.o.dd.a.m.n you!”
“What?” Ningshuai was in the river now but he heard Feiyun’s yelling.
Curiosity made him swim back and thought that maybe Feiyun would want to jump into the river with him.
“All my spirit stones are gone…” Feiyun actually felt like committing suicide now too.
1. There is a wordplay going on with the t.i.tle that requires an explanation. So the congee is named Gentle Fragrance when translated literally. However, these two characters are also used to describe beauties, particularly femme fatale. Keep this in mind before the incoming lines