Spiritual Seed Awakening

A favorite park of his from childhood, spending adolescence in the library, growing his hair out, and a love of his garden. This last memory is strongest to me. The garden was by no means a sight to behold. Wait….This feels wrong, it felt special to the memories. These memories tell me they tried their best, and the garden was always full of life.

I try and remember the memories name ….. I can"t. They are strong and clear, but hard to read. It"s a jumble of fragments that tell a story. The strange thing is between the pain and nostalgia, I feel strongly these are mine. The best way I can explain this feeling is by using a memory. I remember waking up feeling one day, feeling a body hurting and weak. The struggle to think straight from lack of sleep and illness was horrible, but the memories had a strong sense of self, and urge to vomit.

This is the memory of the worst illness the memories ever faced, but through a cloud of prescribed drugs, sleep deprivation, and the inability to stop vomiting, the memories knew that their name was Yarrow. My name, YES, I remember!

I stop suddenly in my rejoicing, and notice the pain again. I have a sudden premonsion as if I would have lost myself in these memories like a dream, and not wake up. I quickly begin to focus, and face the rest of the memories as level headed as possible. The memories keep coming as I try to maintaining my sanity while enduring the pain, all the while trying to understand why these memories feel familiar. They are mine, or at least that"s what I want to think. I don"t care if they are mine or not. I accept them, but still question their validity, and origin. They feel like they are mine, but some are like watching from a third person perspective, and others are seen through the eyes of the young man but with strong emotional connections. The feelings of happiness, pain, sorrow, regret, and love seems to permanente these memories. Life is not a constant state of one feeling I learn as I keep enduring these memories. It"s the happy ones oddly enough the cause me the most pain.

Then suddenly the memories stop, and start to slowly fade into nothingness as I remember the memory of the garden one last time. Soon after I am blinded by a white light. I sense nothing but dread as the light fades, leaving nothing but my mind in a rush while I ponder why I am experiencing this? What this this? I suddenly feel a chill. The cold feeling is like a cac.o.o.n of water surrounding me. I sense nothing around me as if i"m in a empty void. I start to struggle when I become aware of a weak force drawing me in a direction. I am unsure of where since I lack any reference in this void of nothing. My instincts tell me if I follow that path, I will cease to exist. I lack a death wish, so I keep struggling with all my might.

It was just then that I notice my lack of a body, or rather lack of a body in a traditional sense. I notice that my "body" is formless, and my struggles amount to wiggles, and distortions. I feel nothing, but the formless ma.s.s seems to obey my will. My "body" begins to spasm harder. I would not call it heroic looking or glamorous, but the wiggles seems to be working. I keep trying as I don"t have many other options. The formless body begins to move slowly away from the direction it was being drawn towards, and "swims" in another direction.

I suddenly feel a great sense of tiredness overcome me. My instincts tell me there is a safe route ahead of me. That this new direction will lead to a place that won"t erase my memories. That"s all I care about as I start to lose consciousness. I sense a difference in the void as I wiggle to freedom. I embrace it , and the envelopment does not seem harmful. I suddenly see a vision of giant tree with many lights coming from it. Somehow I know this is the [The Tree Of Reincarnation]. I don"t know how I broke free, but I know that I will be me. My last thoughts before I pa.s.s out, are about how I would smile, If I had a mouth. I lose consciousness. [Soul devouring tree inheritance activated]