Chapter 27 – The Past that Can’t be Spoken of
Novel t.i.tle: 一生之计在于春 (Spring is the Plan of Life)
Author：御小凡 (Yu Xiaofan)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 姚锦夕 (Yao Jinxi -MC), 吴洋 (Wu Yang -ML)
*Please read at knoxt.s.p.a.ce, the original site of translation. TQ*
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Yao Jinxi’s head suddenly knocked back. Instantly, everything went dark before his eyes. A scorching breath rushed at him. He felt dizzy and wanted to evade it. But Yao Jinchen pressed him down firmly.
The young man kissed him almost fanatically. He was like a hungry beast. “Brother… Why won’t you agree to be with me? Haven’t you always obeyed my every wants? If we are together, isn’t it good?”
Yao Jinxi’s head was throbbing. He couldn’t make out Yao Jinchen’s incoherent words.
The gap between the table and the cabinet behind it was already small. Now, the two of them were packed tightly in between them. Yao Jinxi tried to turn over several times but couldn’t manage to do it. Instead, Yao Jinchen lifted his clothes and now his inappropriate hand roamed around his chest before urgently moving downward. It almost made Yao Jinxi scream out loud.
Yao Jinxi felt like he was about to die. He couldn’t see anything clearly. Everything was all a blur.
It was like a nightmare coming back to haunt him.
But he was still a man. If he really didn’t want it to happen, Yao Jinchen couldn’t force himself on him. The two wrestled fiercely, neither succeeding in their own efforts to win. Yao Jinchen’s anger rose as Yao Jinxi resisted. He bit down with a strong force on Yao Jinxi’s shoulder.
The bite was truly painful. Yao Jinxi couldn’t help but let out a cry. His white shirt was stained with blood.
He forcefully pushed one of his hands against Yao Jinchen’s shoulder. It was an action born out of desperation. But unexpectedly, it worked. Suddenly, the pressure on his body lightened.
Yao Jinxi couldn’t react in time. He was lying on the ground panting. It took quite a while for his consciousness to slowly recover.
He heard Yao Jinchen’s scolding along with a noisy commotion. Finally, there was the sound of the rolling shutter door crashing down.
There was also the sound of clatter. Perhaps it was because the person had stepped on some debris on the ground. Then, there was the sound of footsteps coming his way. Wu Yang’s face appeared in front of Yao Jinxi, “Are you okay?”
Yao Jinxi took a while to slowly recognize who the person was.
Wu Yang bent down, looking concerned, “Feeling dizzy?”
“I’m… okay…” Yao Jinxi replied slowly, placing his hand on the edge of the table. He was about to try to sit up. Wu Yang, seeing this, simply held him up, saying, “Don’t get up for now. Just sit for a while.”
Yao Jinxi wanted to shake his head but as soon as he turned to the left, he felt dizzy. He quickly covered his forehead with his hand, “Oh my G.o.d. I think I might have a concussion.”
Wu Yang frowned as his gaze fell on Yao Jinxi’s shoulder. He gently touched the back of Yao Jinxi’s head, “Feeling nauseous?”
“Not feeling that way right now,” Yao Jinxi replied with his eyes closed. “Let me… rest a bit…”
The banging on the door at the rolling shutter door interrupted his words. He looked towards the doorway in exasperation, not knowing what to do with Yao Jinchen anymore.
“If he keeps banging like this, the neighbours around here might have some complaints,” Wu Yang said thoughtfully. Then he looked at Yao Jinxi with a very gentle expression, “I think he’s very agitated right now. Do you mind if I find a place for him to calm down for a while?”
Yao Jinxi finally managed to get up with great difficulty. His limbs felt weak. He tried to pull the chair a few times. But Wu Yang pushed it back for him and helped him sit down again. “What do you mean?”
“Mainly what I meant is… it’s a busy street outside…” Wu Yang paused for a moment and then continued earnestly, “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt him. It’s just that him continuing to bang like this isn’t a solution either.”
Yao Jinxi had a splitting headache. The thought of Yao Jinchen’s stubborn temper possibly lasting until dawn was unbearable. He sighed deeply, “Then please get him to leave first…”
“Alright,” Wu Yang said and immediately made a phone call. Yao Jinxi sat in place, holding his forehead. He intermittently heard him calling someone over. It sounded like some sort of team.
After he hung up the phone, Yao Jinxi asked wearily, “You didn’t call the police, did you?”
“The deputy head of the criminal investigation team has some connection with me. I asked him to do me a favour and take your brother to the police station first,” Wu Yang explained quickly when he saw Yao Jinxi’s expression change. “There won’t be a criminal record. And they won’t do anything to him. He’ll just stay there for a while. We’ll let him go when the time is right.”
Yao Jinxi had no other options. He was in a state of confusion. The scene from years ago kept replaying in his mind.
Suddenly, the back of his head felt a wet and cool sensation.
Wu Yang, with his experience, instructed him, “You don’t have any ice in your fridge. Let’s use this for now. Hold it against the back of your head yourself.”
Yao Jinxi followed his instructions and pressed the wet towel against the back of his head. It seemed to be a square piece of cloth soaked in cold water, neatly folded and placed for use as a cold compress.
“I think you should go to the hospital after the situation outside calms down a bit,” Wu Yang’s concern was not unfounded. The back of the head is quite vulnerable. With such a large b.u.mp, it would be too late for regrets if anything serious happened later.
“What are you doing?” Yao Jinxi asked with one hand holding the towel against the back of his head. He looked at Wu Yang’s busy activities with confusion.
Wu Yang continued with his task while speaking naturally, “Cleaning up.”
The shop was in complete disarray, including Yao Jinxi himself. But he was in no mood to care about it. He watched absentmindedly as Wu Yang tidied up the mess as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world.
Wu Yang had the demeanour of a white-collar professional. But every time he got to work, he was truly skilled. He systematically and neatly rearranged the chaotic room, sealing all the garbage in plastic bags.
The banging on the door had stopped at some point.
Wu Yang came over and touched Yao Jinxi’s forehead. “You should change your clothes and we can go to the hospital.”
“I don’t want to… I just feel tired,” Yao Jinxi muttered softly. The towel had warmed up from his body temperature so he removed it. He felt the coolness of his damp skin.
Wu Yang looked at him for a while and then sat down. “How about I make some tea for you?”
Yao Jinxi didn’t respond so Wu Yang took it as a ‘yes’. He went through the motions of preparing tea. It was a process he had seen Yao Jinxi do so many times that it still looked convincing. He placed a bowl of tea in front of Yao Jinxi. Its liquid was in a bright yellow-orange colour.
Yao Jinxi looked at the tea for a while before taking a sip, letting the warm liquid pa.s.s over his tongue. He whispered, “You made this tea so poorly.”
Wu Yang smiled and replied humbly, “I’m sorry. This is my first time. Maybe it’ll be better if I make it a few more times in the future.”
He didn’t mention anything about what he had just witnessed. His att.i.tude was no different from usual. It gradually calmed Yao Jinxi. However, as his thoughts returned, a hole was torn in his heart. The cold wind blew through it, making him too cold to even get angry.
Yao Jinxi didn’t want to admit it. But he had thought that this might be an opportunity. An opportunity to reconnect with his long-lost family.
But in reality, nothing had changed.
“Are you okay?” Wu Yang waved his hand in front of him. Seeing Yao Jinxi looking over, Wu Yang asked, “Feeling a bit better? If you think you’re okay now, we should go to the hospital.”
Yao Jinxi sighed. He then spoke in almost a complaint tone, “Why do you keep bringing this up…”
However, this untimely stubbornness didn’t make him angry. It rather strangely comforted him.
Yao Jinxi found it amusing. But he was too tired to lift the corners of his mouth. This feeling seemed familiar. But luckily, he wasn’t alone now. It was like travelling on a long road. When you couldn’t move forward, having someone beside you constantly urging you to go on made you less likely to give up.
He looked into Wu Yang’s eyes and finally spoke, “You’re not asking anything?”
Wu Yang didn’t seem surprised by his question at all. He smiled and replied, “Do you want to talk about it?”
To talk or not to talk?
Yao Jinxi didn’t know. Habit was a strange thing. He had only known Wu Yang since spring this year. That was less than half a year by his calculation. Maybe it was because Wu Yang had revealed everything about himself first. Or maybe it was because Wu Yang’s nonchalant att.i.tude after finding out about his s.e.xual orientation put him at ease. But perhaps it was their different yet similar experiences that made him drop his guard in front of Wu Yang.
“Why is it that you always see me in such a sorry state?” Yao Jinxi reached for his teacup. But Wu Yang had already poured tea for him in advance. Wu Yang casually said, “Perhaps it’s because we are destined?”
Yao Jinxi wanted to laugh at this explanation. What kind of destiny was that?
Yao Jinxi took a deep breath and said with a bitter smile, “I don’t even know how to begin.”
How to begin? It was hard to put into words.
Wu Yang didn’t rush him. Yao Jinxi spoke in fragments. It was less like he was speaking to Wu Yang. But it was more like he was reorganising his own memories.
Yao Jinxi and Yao Jinchen were half-siblings with the same mother but different fathers. In the end, they both took their mother’s surname.
Their mother, Yao Hong, had a simple and pa.s.sionate personality. In the past, she had eloped with Yao Jinxi’s father even before getting married. She became pregnant with Yao Jinxi. However, their love story took a turn for the worse. By the time Yao Jinxi was born, they hadn’t even obtained a marriage certificate. Within two years, they had completely separated.
But her encounter with the second man in her life was no better, leaving behind Yao Jinchen, with no news since then.
Yao Hong, a single mother, struggled to support the three of them. It left her feeling exhausted. She couldn’t even feed newborn Yao Jinchen with her own milk. It was three-year-old Yao Jinxi who, in his innocence, fed his brother milk.
This situation remained unchanged as they grew up. In such a family, Yao Jinxi matured prematurely. He not only had to take care of Yao Jinchen but also handle other household ch.o.r.es. He had to do anything that could help ease Yao Hong’s burden.
Yao Jinxi didn’t attend kindergarten. He went directly to elementary school. What he envied the most was that other kids had the chance to be lifted up high by their fathers.
The significance of a father and a mother for children were entirely different than for adults.
“Maybe… I ended up attracted to men because of that…” Yao Jinxi seemed to go back to that time when he longed for a father. Meanwhile, their mother had completely lost faith in men.
Wu Yang asked, “Is your brother… the same as you?”
“I don’t know,” Yao Jinxi sounded dejected as he rubbed his eyes. “Jinchen is very attached to me. We eat and live together.”
How did it all begin?
Because he took care of his brother, he received praise from Yao Hong. Yao Jinxi gradually developed a sense of responsibility and felt that he was the only big boy in the family. He believed he had to help his mother and take good care of his brother.
Yao Jinchen was like a cute little animal back then—adorable, clever, and obedient. Even if he was a bit bossy at times, Yao Jinxi didn’t mind. After all, he was his little brother.
So, he gradually got used to it. He got used to indulging his adorable younger brother. He was always thinking of himself as the older brother who should give in to him in everything. He believed that it was only natural.
Yao Jinxi regretted it deeply. Yao Hong, their mother, hadn’t spoiled her son. But he was the one who had done this foolish thing.
“And then, not long after I realised my s.e.xual orientation, he also figured it out,” Yao Jinxi closed his eyes. He was silent for a while.
After all, they were the closest two people to each other. They couldn’t hide anything from each other’s eyes.
“So you two…”
Wu Yang didn’t finish his sentence. But his meaning was clear. Yao Jinxi remained silent for a moment before shaking his head, “No. Even if I like guys, I wouldn’t have my sights set on my little brother…”
He revisited those unpleasant memories and continued slowly, “At that time, it’s similar to now. But the person who saw us back then was our mother.”
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Next update: 2023.11.04
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