Spring Once More

 chapter 2

(Reminder: To read the translator"s notes, hover your cursor over the words underlined with dots. Click on the words for more information.)

Chapter Two

“Indeed, we have donesomething wrong.” An old gentleman in a black windbreaker on  gives me an overly friendly smile and then turns to yell at twofigures who are cowering on the ground. “You’ve done this fortens of thousands of years, and you still commit such an elementarymistake! I made it exceptionally clear it’s that young master X,son of the XX, who drives a black BMW. And what do you strike? Apegreen Chery! Black! Pegreen! Are you colour-blind?! Is a Cheryon the same level as a BMW, you two s.h.i.theads?!”

Right after I’d arrived, Ihowled up a storm and vented all my anger. Seeing that these reapersappear rather sincere, I loosen my grip on the old gentleman’scollar and sit with my legs crossed arrogantly on the bridge pier.“Hey, granddad, since you’ve struck the wrong person, you shouldsend me back before they push me into the morgue.”

The chief of King Yan’s Divine Retribution Department beams even more charmingly. “My lad,I’m so sorry about my two useless subordinates here. We are KingYan’s Divine Retribution Department, and our job is to punishevildoers who do not receive their rightful punishment in the mortalworld…”

“You already introducedyourselves when I first got here.”

“We were supposed to strikethat young master X who enticed, raped, and then murdered more thanten girls. Your car was driving ahead of his, and there was a slightlapse of judgment…”

“I get it. But we’re coolas long as you send me back with a little extra luck in the wealthand women department.”

“Heavenly judgment is themost serious punishment of our Divine Retribution Department. It’sequivalent to an execution by firing squad in the human realm. Whatmakes this punishment so amazing is that it will obliterate everylast piece of flesh and bone…”

“Yes, yes, I know all that,but time is precious. Just let me go back…” Wait, I think I hearda keyword… It suddenly hits me, and I shoot to my feet and grab thechief by his collar. “Every last piece of flesh and bone?!”

The gentleman nods, forcing alaugh. “Son… I’m so sorry.”

What the h.e.l.l!

A long while later, I sit backdown on the bridge pier, crossing my legs.

The workers of the DivineRetribution Department, who seem to still have a shred of conscience,let me take another look at the human world. Only a sc.r.a.p of femurremains of my body, and police officers use it to identify thecorpse. My pitiful Chery has turned into a pile of burnt carbon. Icry, I cry for the 28,000 yuan that I earned through working myselfto the bone.

A short while later, theMinistry of Public Security reports my death to my family. The sonthey raised for twenty years has been reduced to a piece of a femurand finally receives his fifteen minutes of fame by going on theheadlines. Thankfully, they get a huge payout from my life insuranceand still have my little brother, Xiao-Shi, to carry on the familyname... I wonder if Yan Ni will shed a tear or two for me.

The old chief discusses thismatter with me saying he will send me to be reincarnated and borninto a good life. But I reject him withouta second thought.

d.a.m.n, it hasn’t exactly beeneasy for me to grow up from diapers to adulthood. How can I let thesedecades of hard work be destroyed so easily?

After negotiating with him,there remains only one feasible proposal which is to place me in agood body that has thoroughly enjoyed life yet will die young enoughthat it’ll have more mileage for me to take over.

I’m straightforward with myconditions: rich, handsome, with an ill.u.s.trious family background anda continuous stream of babes hanging around him.

The chief and his two reapersflip through a volume and study it carefully.

“Son, this one doesn’tseem too bad. He’s the chairman of the x.x.x Corporation in the USAand is known for his good looks. He also has a mistress who is aHollywood star!”

I turn the volume around totake a look. “What! He’s already sixty-nine this year. Are yousending me back just tolive for three more years?!”

As a result, I add anotherimportant condition— he must be young!

The chief leafs through for along while and then sighs, “There’s only one who meets yourrequirements.”

I p.r.i.c.k up my ear. “Alright,give it to me.”

“Prince Tai of the DaxingDynasty.”

“Daxing Dynasty? Sounds likeone of those ancient dynasties, but why haven’t I heard of it?”

The chief doesn’t sound toosurprised. “There are many that haven’t been written down inhistorical records.”

“Name and age?”

“Chai Rong, twenty-one yearsold.”

Pa.s.sable, at best.

“Anything else?”

“He’s exceptionallyhandsome and holds great power, and he has dozens of beauties hangingoff him. We only just reaped his soul yesterday, so his body isfresh. I guarantee you won’t regret taking his body.” Thesincerity on the chief’s wrinkled face is something even theheavens and earth could attest to.

Mmhmm, that actually soundspretty good. The chief throwsan arm around myshoulder. “Son, this is a great vessel - one in a million. If notfor our grave error, we wouldn’t let anyone use it to return tolife. I can even increase the length of your youth and predestinedlife-span. Make a decision quickly. You know the procedures of thepast: once the body enters the coffin, it’s too late. Make yourchoice now. Yes or no?”

I consider for a moment andthen give a hesitant nod. Delighted, the chief pulls me up. “Now,now, hurry along. I’ll send you back myself.”

I stand next to a well andstick my head out for a look. A blurry scene appears on the surfaceof the water with white, the colour of mourning, everywhere, similarto the funeral I’ve seen in historical dramas. The department chiefmakes all sorts of crazy gestures at the water. “Look, look, onceall the josspaper in the funeral pavilionis burnt, they’re going to nail the coffin closed. Quickly, getdown there!”

I suddenly thoughtof something. “Howdid this Prince Tai die?”

The chief responds, mumblingvaguely, “He committed too many sins and he was … while he was…”

“Wh?” Alarmbells go off in my brain,and I am about to demand more details when I am abruptly given a hardshove on the back as the old gentleman hollers, “There’s only onebundle of joss paper left. Hurry!”

I stumble, falling head-first.