Spring Once More

chapter 9

(Traditional Chinese cover scanned by Dairytea)

Chapter Nine

Summoning spirits is always easier than dispelling them. The empress dowager has been here since early morning. The lunchtime intermission gives her an opportunity to scold the chef.

“You gang of incompetent servants! The seventh prince is still weak. What were you thinking putting fish and duck on the table? You think he can digest that?! Zhang-gonggong, after we return to the palace, send over some of the Laolaiqing and Bijing rice that were given as tribute from the Jiangnan region so they may be made into congee for the prince. Also send over the newly prepared tribute vegetable from Bozhou. Pick an excellent chef from the imperial kitchen and send him here. I simply do not trust the people here! Furthermore, announce This Dowager’s official edict: let it be that for three days, no act of killing shall be committed within the grounds of the capital, nor shall any animal products be consumed, in order that the little prince may collect yin merits.”

Oh G.o.ddammit, woman! Threedays with no animal products – this means I can’t even sneak out of the manorto get myself some chow! Green leaves and radish skin…d.a.m.n it, I ain’t norabbit!

After the meal, she calls thebutler and all the servants to the main hall, and from behind the screen,she scolds each and every one of them. The old grandpa who fainted in thefuneral pavilion turns out to be the butler of the prince’s manor,Zhong-shu.He was probably terrorized by the prince so often that he has a constant caseof jelly legs, and kneeling before the empress dowager now, he’s barelybreathing. I swear he’s on the verge of fainting again.

The sun begins to dropwestward. Everyone has been scolded. The empress dowager has tired. She takes asip of tea to moisten her throat before launching into another rant on everyonefrom the tea maker to the tea farmer. Finally, mission accomplished. And awayshe goes, back to the palace.

I can’t help but feeldevastated realizing I have another three days to go with nothing but greenleaves and radish skin. Xiao-Shun tries his best to comfort me, tripping overhis words. “Milord, I know that Your Highness has missed the empress dowagerdearly, but there is always tomorrow. You will have time to enter the palaceand chat with Her Highness whenever you please.”

Oh f.u.c.k me!

The efficiency of the imperialhouse is astounding. I watch as a bowl of plainly boiled rice water is servedon the dinner table along with a cold vegetable side dish. I grab a bit of thegreen stuff with my chopsticks and try it. Aack! What is this s.h.i.t, mountainjelly?How dare it be called tribute vegetable?

Today is destined to be a dayof visitors. As I’m cursing that old witch silently for the plain congee andmountain jelly on my table, I am being notified that one Prince Ren has arrive atmy manor.

Before I can say welcome, thisPrince Ren character has already waltzed into the dining hall.

“Hey Ol’ Seven, what goodiesare you hiding there?”

Hearing his tone, I get alittle excited. This Prince Ren might just be a friend! I beckon with my hand.“Xiao-Gui, Xiao-Zhong, serve Prince Ren a bowl of congee and a plate ofmountain jelly.”

He easily navigates throughthe hall and sits in the taishi fauteuil,legs crossed. “Oh, no thanks. Your third brother isn’t fortunate enough to eatthat stuff. Just get me my cup of tea.”

After Xiao-Si serves him, hestarts talking, his head swinging every which way. “Ol’ Seven Boy, I have tohand it to you. Two visits to the Gates of h.e.l.l is impressive. As your bigbrother, I’ve come today to check up on your recovery.”

I point to my nose. “I’msitting right here. What do you think, my dear third brother?”

Prince Ren squints as heexamines me before nodding. “Not bad. Not bad. Other than that b.u.mp on thehead, I’d say you’re doing well. I called it a long time ago that someone likeyou would get kicked out of h.e.l.l ‘cause even King Yan wouldn’t want you. And whaddayaknow? I was right, wasn’t I?

“But you really shook up thecapital, you know. First it was “the little prince died in bed,” then it was“the little prince’s corpse reanimated.” Then we heard that you had lost yourmind. You couldn’t even remember who you were. Our brother, His Majesty,insisted that we visit you with the empress dowager after you had recovered.Then yesterday we heard you knocked yourself out with a rock. Then tonight,there I was with Ol’ Five in the palace accompanying His Majesty at chess. Iwas planning to mooch a palatial meal, but the empress dowager came back fromyour place and started bawling clutching at our brother’s sleeve. She said you sawthe light, said you’re changing for the better. When I heard that, I immediatelywanted to see it for myself, so I rushed over here to see how my dear Ol’ Sevenhas changed.”

While listening to Prince Renramble on like popping corn, I struggle for appropriate reactions. I spewed abunch of moral bulls.h.i.t to the empress dowager this morning without muchthought, so memory loss is probably out now as a plan. Luckily, I read therough outline of Chai Rong’s life. With my impeccable skills as an actor, it’llbe a walk in the park.

According to my sources,Prince Ren, Chai Xin, was not born from the same mother as Chai Rong, but theywere very close nonetheless. His pa.s.sion, c.o.c.k fighting.

So I put on a solemn face.“Amitābha, my dear third brother. Every being has a spirit. All life is equal.You should quit c.o.c.k fighting and save the lives of those poor chickens.”

Prince Ren freezes. He thenslaps the table, and we both burst out laughing.

While he laughs, he points atme. “That’s my Ol’ Seven Boy! Almost got me there!” Then his expressionsuddenly becomes serious. “Actually, I came today to discuss something withyou. I heard that you are no longer playing with men. So why don’t you let mehave that Pei Ruoshui?”

That catches me off guard. I’mspeechless. Oh boy, oh boy. I knew that women were seen as inferior in thepast, but I didn’t know men could be that worthless too. From Prince Ren’s tone,it almost sounds like he’s asking me for a cup of tea. Pei Ruoshui is for sure amale concubine, but still…

As I’m trying to figure out aresponse, he guffaws. “I’m joking with you. Look at your face! It’s enough tofool the empress dowager, but not our brother, His Majesty. I’m being honesthere. He saw through your act and knew you couldn’t really give up Pei Ruoshui,and you still felt disgruntled about the li’l tanhua. He sent me here especially to tell you to fetch those twofrom death row yourself.”

After this whole change ofevents, I’m even more confused, so I just chuckle along. f.u.c.k, I guess I was abit too generous with my statement. Acting is pretty d.a.m.n hard!

The prince seems even morepleased at my lack of a comeback. “Our brother really took care of everythingfor you. Regarding the incident, it’s now officially ‘a fight under alcoholinfluence’ where w.a.n.g Rui accidentally hurt Prince Tai. The emperor has grantedhim life, but his tanhua t.i.tle hasbeen revoked. He has been demoted to a servant in your manor. The empressdowager has placed eyes on the w.a.n.g household. If he so much as disobeys you,tries to take his own life or escape, whatever it may be, the entire houseshall be executed.”

OMG! People say feudalism wasdark, but this is way too dark!

“You know, I really do regret–” I start.

Prince Ren stops me with awave. “Tomorrow, you will go to the palace and thank our brother for his benevolence.You’ve got w.a.n.g Rui in your hands now, but remember not to go overboard. Thereis some dissent amongst the people after all. We must be wary.”

I can’t help but wonder howeverything ended up like this.

Prince Ren sips his tea for awhile longer before getting up. I stand up as well.

He shakes out his sleeves.“The hour is late. I must retire.” Then he whispers in my ear as he pats myshoulder, “I’ll come again with Ol’ Five tomorrow night, and we’ll bring somereal food and liquor so you don’t lose your mind again eating nothing but plaincongee.”

I’m moved to tears. I give hima wholehearted pat. “That’s my brother.”

Female royalty,especially married ones, were not to be seen by any men outside of the royalfamily. Hence male servants in the palace were all eunuchs.

A suffix that means“uncle” or refers to any man generally one generation older than the speaker.

Also known as gongcai(tribute vegetable) or loud vegetable, a species in the lactuca genus, it hasbeen cultivated in China for more than two thousand years.

The taishi chair is oneof a pair of fauteuils placed at the head location of each room and reservedfor the highest ranking person in the room at any given time.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dairytea:

Chapter Ten

Spring Once More by is licensed under a .