Spring Once More

(Traditional Chinese cover art scanned by dairytea)
Introducing , which is written by the author of The Peach Blossom Debt! 8D

(Reminder: To read the translator"s notes, hover your cursor over the words underlined with dots. Click on the words for more information.)

Chapter One: A RoutineSelf-Introduction - A Man Like Me

My name is Ma Xiaodong. The‘Ma’ of ‘Marx’, the ‘Xiao’ of Deng Xiaoping, and the‘Dong’ of Mao Zedong.

From the name alone, it’sobvious that my mom and pop had wanted me to achieve great things.However, as the saying goes, the higher the expectation, the greaterthe disappointment. I ate and drank like any normal person and led anuneventful life till my twenties, somehow graduated from universityand found an undemanding but respectable job. I found myself a girlwho wasn’t amazing, per se, but still good enough to introduce topeople. My mom and pop finally recognized that this was the best Iwas ever going to do.

I’m very open when it comesto my future. In the scant few decades that we humans are alive, lifeis life no matter how you go about it. What’s key is how contentyou are. My current goal for that ‘contentment’ is for my wagesto double, my girlfriend’s face to shrink and her cup size to go upby two letters.

Three days ago, I bought a newChery, and though it was only 28,000 yuan, I’ve nevertheless joinedthe ranks of the car owners which implies we’ve joined the middlecla.s.s. Since antiquity, it’s always been about fast cars andbeautiful women. Hence, one beautiful sunny day off, I brought myprecious Yan Ni to the Forest Park to show off and enjoy theglamorous life.

Yan Ni is my girlfriend’sname, her surname being Yan and her name Ni. My future father-in-lawhad ripped off the name of Marx’s wife, Jenny, which cemented hisdaughter’s destiny of becoming the daughter-in-law of my ‘Ma’family.

At risk of being ticketed bypatrol officers, I park my car at the side of the widest road in thepark. Reclining on the hood of my pegreen, brand new Chery, I holdmy dear Yan Ni in my arms, the light breeze brushing against my shirtand her long hair. There is nothing more I could wish for in life!

I ask Yan Ni, “Anything onyour mind?”

My sweetheart looks up towardthe horizon. “The wind has blown the clouds over. You think it’sgoing to rain?”

I can only laugh hollowly inresponse. “Can’t you say something a little more poetic? I mean,we’ve finally gotten a car.”

Jenny gives me a dull look.“It’s just a pathetic Chery, and you’ve got your nose stuck upin the air. You think you’ve made it big! Xiao-Liu from ourdepartment hooked up with some executive, and he drives a Mercedessports car to take her to and from work. It’s even got the doorsthat open upward!”

I turn to admire thesurrounding scenery, brushing off her spoilsport criticism. Afterall, the original Jenny married into Marx’s family and was poor thewhole time, and therefore it’s understandable for my Yan Ni to beafraid of poverty. A considerate and beautiful soulmate only existsin stories. How could there be someone like that in real life?

A cool breeze blows throughthe greenery, and a beautiful figure in red approaches gracefullyfrom a distance. Woohoo. A hottie! Now that is a real hottie! Ahottie with highlighted, curled hair, a pair of bewitching eyes, s.e.xyred lips and a slender waistline showing off her delicate curves.

My Yan Ni is in the process ofbelittling my Chery, everything from the brand and price to itscolour, “... of all the colours you could have gotten, you just hadto pick that yucky bug-green! Are you listening to me? Ma Xiaodong,what are you looking at?!”

The hot chick reaches out adelicate hand and gently brushes the loose strands from her forehead,and I can’t help but whistle. d.a.m.n, that cup size must be at leastan F!

Yan Ni raises her hand, and aslap lands on my face, the sound crisp and bright. Then she turns toleave immediately.

With one hand on my face, Iuse the other to pull her back, “Hey, hey, let me explain.”

Yan Ni only pulls away withmore vigour, “I’m not listening. I’m not listening!” Dashingall the way to the main road, she holds out her hand and hops in ataxi, “We’re finished, Ma Xiaodong! A shameless man like youdeserves to be struck down by heavenly judgment!”

Holy s.h.i.t! So you’releaving, but you don’t have to call a curse down on me like that!

As I drive the Chery along theWest 3rd ,the heavens seem to sympathize with my mood, responding with m.u.f.fledsounds of thunder and a torrential downpour. I am now wondering whatmethods I can use to persuade Yan Ni to come back to me, but all of asudden, a glaring sphere of light flies towards my car.

I know from reading the TenThousand Questions children’s encyclopaedia that this was balllightning. Before scientific knowledge was so widespread, beingstruck by one of these bad boys was called heavenly judgment. It wasthe retribution for committing an immoral act that even the heavenscouldn’t forgive.

I’ve lived for over twentyyears abiding by the Five Disciplines, Four Graces and Three Loves, and I’ve never done anything that went against my conscience.

d.a.m.n it! Her words couldn’thave been so effective, could they? I’d only caught a glimpse andwhistled. Does it really call for this?!

Boy, the life insurance that Ibought last month sure was a good deal… though not for me but formy mom and pop. It’s enough to cover the fees for raising me forover two decades and even includes interest as well!

I can’t believe this. Theheavens must have gotten something wrong!!!

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Dairytea: !!!