Spring Once More

chapter 7

(Traditional Chinese cover scanned by Dairytea)

Chapter Seven

Mars just crashed into Earth. Bush just bombed bin Laden. No word or expression in this world could possibly describe my shock right now.

If I were someone more timid, I would have foamed at the mouth and died on the spot. But I, Ma Xiaodong, have seen things in my years, and let’s not forget about the heavenly judgment. I stay frozen for only six second – only six! – after hearing the pretty boy talk.

And after those six seconds, Ido what anyone would do. I dash towards the creature and pull open the looserobe. Flat. Definitely a man.

I look at him. He looks backat me.

“My good man, are youRuoshui?”

He flashes a smile. I crackopen my mouth back at him.

Then I grab the jade pillowfrom the bed and smash it against my head.

The world goes black, and Istart floating again. The hills are there. The bridge is there. The departmentchief is there, too.

“What have you done now?”

“What am I doing, you ask?” Onceagain, I find myself clutching at the old man’s collar. “I’m hunting you downand demanding a refund! You sonuvab.i.t.c.h! You tricked me! That li’l prince was ah.o.m.o who keeps men around, wasn’t he?!”

The chief chuckles weakly. “Itis indeed a tiny flaw, but nothing is perfect!”

“A tiny flaw?! I f.u.c.king toldyou that I want lots of beautiful women, and you gave me a d.a.m.n f.a.ggot! I’m sodone with this s.h.i.t. You deal with it, and find me a normal body. Now!”

The chief’s wrinkled faceturns blue, then red and finally white. “Son, you really are too stubborn andcan’t see the truth.”

The truth? I scoff, “Where doI find truth in that?”

“Now, slow down there.” Heclaps my shoulder while taking me aside to the base of the bridge and pressesdownward until I am squatting. “You youngsters always have difficulty seeingthe root of the issue. Allow me to a.n.a.lyze this for you. Now, who have youbecome? Chai Rong. And who is Chai Rong? The little prince. In the DaxingEmpire, is there anyone above the little prince aside from the emperor? No, thereisn’t. The prince indeed indulges in the pa.s.sion of the cut sleeve, and to befrank with you, he died because of it. Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy and listento me. So the little prince is a cut sleeve. Who made him like that? No one. Heis a cut sleeve because he is happy being a cut sleeve. That is the key here.”

f.u.c.king h.e.l.l! I slap my thigh.“What’s key about the prince being a cut sleeve?!”

The chief pats my shoulderagain. “Son, are you a cut sleeve?”

I spring up. “You’re a f.u.c.kingcut sleeve!”

He pushes me back down on mya.s.s. “Well, there you go. The problem is solved.”

I glare at him. “How the h.e.l.lis it solved?!”

“Why can’t you see?” He shakeshis head. “The prince is a cut sleeve. No grudges, no regrets. No one forcedhim. He likes being a cut sleeve, so he is. Now you’re the prince, and youanswer to no one aside from the emperor. If you don’t want to be a cut-sleeve,then you don’t have to be, and n.o.body can say a thing. Am I right or am Iright?”

I consider it for a minute andadmit he has a good point. The chief continues persuasively in my ear. “Thereare twenty or so male concubines in the Prince Tai manor. It took but aword from Chai Rong to get them all there, so likewise it would take but a wordfrom you to get rid of them all! Whatever you want – as long as it’s not thewife or the throne of the emperor – you can get with just one utterance. Youhave all the power you can ask for, son!”

“Chief.” I nod approvingly. “Youare a genius.”

He beams as he pulls me up.“Then what are you waiting for? Hurry back before they put you back into thecoffin again.”

I interrupt him, “Wait.”

He stares at me. “What else doyou need?”

“I need to figure out exactlywhat Chai Rong did in his lifetime.”

I could see him strugglinginternally before finally letting me read Little Prince Chai’s life. Simplyput, it is an epic revolving around the capture and collection of malebeauties.

At one, he stoppedbreast-feeding. At two, he learned to read and write. Then at the tender age ofthirteen, he began his life as a cut sleeve until the age of twenty-one, atwhich point he had collected nineteen concubines. Behind each was a horrendous,b.l.o.o.d.y story, and each was more farcical than the last. In order to get a nice roundnumber, he found his arrow aimed at the newly appointed tanhua.After bribery and threats failed, he kidnapped the tanhua while the gentleman was returning home. And finally, he diedin bed strangled by the tanhua.

G.o.dd.a.m.n, this guy got off easybeing strangled!

“You have collected many yinmerits, son, just by returning the body to life,” the chief explains to me inthe end. The little prince is the most dear to the empress dowager’s heart, andthe emperor absolutely adores him as well. After the prince was strangled, theemperor sentenced the nineteen concubines to be buried along with the princeand the tanhua to death by slowslicing. As soon as I returned to life, I saved nineteen lives just like that,and the tanhua is currently beingkept on death row until the emperor decides his fate.

“So, it’s all in the hands ofdestiny, son,” he rambles on, embellishing his thoughts. “Think back over yourprevious two decades of life. Was there anything you wish you hadaccomplished?”

I think back to my eighteenthbirthday when I learned to accept that I would only ever rise to the level ofordinary. After that, I considered ambitions and aspirations only in mydaydreams.

“It’s a different story now.You have been given a second chance. Here, you’ll be able to make a name and anew world for yourself.” My mind begins to broaden. I got money and power. Thesky’s the limit!

“A man must have ambition,aspiration, a fighting spirit and his own empire. Now that is a real man! Myboy, you must cherish this rare opportunity. Bring fortune to others, and mostimportantly, make a bright future for yourself!”

Standing on the Bridge ofHopelessness, I see before me a world full of life and possibilities.

An ambitious vow appears in myhead: From today onwards, the world will know what a virtuous hero the newPrince Chai Rong is!

I bring my fists together andsay to the chief, “I’ll go back now.”

He claps my shoulder once again.“I will send you back, young man. Quickly now. w.a.n.gqingis still awaiting my help.”

“w.a.n.gqing?” What an elegantname. “Guy or girl?”

“A lady, of course,” he saysas a sweet smile finds its way to his face. “She’s my darling. Every soul thatcrosses the Bridge must drink a bowl of w.a.n.gqing Water. Haven’t you heard ofit?”

“w.a.n.gqing Water? Isn’t itMeng-poSoup?”

His face twitched. “That wasthe old name. My wifey said Meng-po made her sound old, so she changed it.”

The tanhua was thethird-place in a national examination.

Literally “forget sentiment.”

The suffix -po refers toan elderly woman. Meng-po is the Chinese G.o.ddess of reincarnation who met thedead at the bridge to the afterlife. She served them her broth of forgetfulnessbefore leading them across the bridge to their next life. She is usuallyportrayed as an old woman.

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Dairytea:

Chapter Eight

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