"Grief," replied Clara, "is the sickness of the mind, and its sister is the sickness of the body--they are twin-sisters, Tyrrel, and are seldom long separate. Sometimes the body"s disease comes first, and dims our eyes and palsies our hands, before the fire of our mind and of our intellect is quenched. But mark me--soon after comes her cruel sister with her urn, and sprinkles cold dew on our hopes and on our loves, our memory, our recollections, and our feelings, and shows us that they cannot survive the decay of our bodily powers."
"Alas!" said Tyrrel, "is it come to this?"
"To this," she replied, speaking from the rapid and irregular train of her own ideas, rather than comprehending the purport of his sorrowful exclamation,--"to this it must ever come, while immortal souls are wedded to the perishable substance of which our bodies are composed.
There is another state, Tyrrel, in which it will be otherwise--G.o.d grant our time of enjoying it were come!"
She fell into a melancholy pause, which Tyrrel was afraid to disturb.
The quickness with which she spoke, marked but too plainly the irregular succession of thought, and he was obliged to restrain the agony of his own feelings, rendered more acute by a thousand painful recollections, lest, by giving way to his expressions of grief, he should throw her into a still more disturbed state of mind.
"I did not think," she proceeded, "that after so horrible a separation, and so many years, I could have met you thus calmly and reasonably. But although what we were formerly to each other can never be forgotten, it is now all over, and we are only friends--Is it not so?"
Tyrrel was unable to reply.
"But I must not remain here," she said, "till the evening grows darker on me.--We shall meet again, Tyrrel--meet as friends--nothing more--You will come up to Shaws-Castle and see me?--no need of secrecy now--my poor father is in his grave, and his prejudices sleep with him--my brother John is kind, though he is stern and severe sometimes--Indeed, Tyrrel, I believe he loves me, though he has taught me to tremble at his frown when I am in spirits, and talk too much--But he loves me, at least I think so, for I am sure I love him; and I try to go down amongst them yonder, and to endure their folly, and, all things considered, I do carry on the farce of life wonderfully well--We are but actors, you know, and the world but a stage."
"And ours has been a sad and tragic scene," said Tyrrel, in the bitterness of his heart, unable any longer to refrain from speech.
"It has indeed--but, Tyrrel, when was it otherwise with engagements formed in youth and in folly? You and I would, you know, become men and women, while we were yet scarcely more than children--We have run, while yet in our nonage, through the pa.s.sions and adventures of youth, and therefore we are now old before our day, and the winter of our life has come on ere its summer was well begun.--O Tyrrel! often and often have I thought of this!--Thought of it often? Alas, when will the time come that I shall be able to think of any thing else!"
The poor young woman sobbed bitterly, and her tears began to flow with a freedom which they had not probably enjoyed for a length of time. Tyrrel walked on by the side of her horse, which now prosecuted its road homewards, unable to devise a proper mode of addressing the unfortunate young lady, and fearing alike to awaken her pa.s.sions and his own.
Whatever he might have proposed to say, was disconcerted by the plain indications that her mind was clouded, more or less slightly, with a shade of insanity, which deranged, though it had not destroyed, her powers of judgment.
At length he asked her, with as much calmness as he could a.s.sume--if she was contented--if aught could be done to render her situation more easy--if there was aught of which she could complain which he might be able to remedy? She answered gently, that she was calm and resigned, when her brother would permit her to stay at home; but that when she was brought into society, she experienced such a change as that which the water of the brook that slumbers in a crystalline pool of the rock may be supposed to feel, when, gliding from its quiet bed, it becomes involved in the hurry of the cataract.
"But my brother Mowbray," she said, "thinks he is right,--and perhaps he is so. There are things on which we may ponder too long;--and were he mistaken, why should I not constrain myself in order to please him--there are so few left to whom I can now give either pleasure or pain?--I am a gay girl, too, in conversation, Tyrrel--still as gay for a moment, as when you used to chide me for my folly. So, now I have told you all,--I have one question to ask on my part--one question--if I had but breath to ask it--Is _he_ still alive?"
"He lives," answered Tyrrel, but in a tone so low, that nought but the eager attention which Miss Mowbray paid could possibly have caught such feeble sounds.
"Lives!" she exclaimed,--"lives!--he lives, and the blood on your hand is not then indelibly imprinted--O Tyrrel, did you but know the joy which this a.s.surance gives to me!"
"Joy!" replied Tyrrel--"joy, that the wretch lives who has poisoned our happiness for ever?--lives, perhaps, to claim you for his own?"
"Never, never shall he--dare he do so," replied Clara, wildly, "while water can drown, while cords can strangle, steel pierce--while there is a precipice on the hill, a pool in the river--never--never!"
"Be not thus agitated, my dearest Clara," said Tyrrel; "I spoke I know not what--he lives indeed--but far distant, and, I trust, never again to revisit Scotland."
He would have said more, but that, agitated with fear or pa.s.sion, she struck her horse impatiently with her riding-whip. The spirited animal, thus stimulated and at the same time restrained, became intractable, and reared so much, that Tyrrel, fearful of the consequences, and trusting to Clara"s skill as a horsewoman, thought he best consulted her safety in letting go the rein. The animal instantly sprung forward on the broken and hilly path at a very rapid pace, and was soon lost to Tyrrel"s anxious eyes.
As he stood pondering whether he ought not to follow Miss Mowbray towards Shaws-Castle, in order to be satisfied that no accident had befallen her on the road, he heard the tread of a horse"s feet advancing hastily in the same direction, leading from the hotel. Unwilling to be observed at this moment, he stepped aside under shelter of the underwood, and presently afterwards saw Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan"s, followed by a groom, ride hastily past his lurking-place, and pursue the same road which had been just taken by his sister. The presence of her brother seemed to a.s.sure Miss Mowbray"s safety, and so removed Tyrrel"s chief reason for following her. Involved in deep and melancholy reflection upon what had pa.s.sed, nearly satisfied that his longer residence in Clara"s vicinity could only add to her unhappiness and his own, yet unable to tear himself from that neighbourhood, or to relinquish feelings which had become entwined with his heart-strings, he returned to his lodgings in the Aultoun, in a state of mind very little to be envied.
Tyrrel, on entering his apartment, found that it was not lighted, nor were the Abigails of Mrs. Dods quite so alert as a waiter at Long"s might have been, to supply him with candles. Unapt at any time to exact much personal attendance, and desirous to shun at that moment the necessity of speaking to any person whatever, even on the most trifling subject, he walked down into the kitchen to supply himself with what he wanted. He did not at first observe that Mrs. Dods herself was present in this the very centre of her empire, far less that a lofty air of indignation was seated on the worthy matron"s brow. At first it only vented itself in broken soliloquy and interjections; as, for example, "Vera bonny wark this!--vera creditable wark, indeed!--a decent house to be disturbed at these hours--Keep a public--as weel keep a bedlam!"
Finding these murmurs attracted no attention, the dame placed herself betwixt her guest and the door, to which he was now retiring with his lighted candle, and demanded of him what was the meaning of such behaviour.
"Of what behaviour, madam?" said her guest, repeating her question in a tone of sternness and impatience so unusual with him, that perhaps she was sorry at the moment that she had provoked him out of his usual patient indifference; nay, she might even feel intimidated at the altercation she had provoked, for the resentment of a quiet and patient person has always in it something formidable to the professed and habitual grumbler. But her pride was too great to think of a retreat, after having sounded the signal for contest, and so she continued, though in a tone somewhat lowered.
"Maister Tirl, I wad but just ask you, that are a man of sense, whether I hae ony right to take your behaviour weel? Here have you been these ten days and mair, eating the best, and drinking the best, and taking up the best room in my house; and now to think of your gaun doun and taking up with yon idle harebrained cattle at the Waal--I maun e"en be plain wi" ye--I like nane of the fair-fashioned folk that can say My Jo and think it no; and therefore"----
"Mrs. Dods," said Tyrrel, interrupting her, "I have no time at present for trifles. I am obliged to you for your attention while I have been in your house; but the disposal of my time, here or elsewhere, must be according to my own ideas of pleasure or business--If you are tired of me as a guest, send in your bill to-morrow."
"My bill!" said Mrs. Dods; "my bill to-morrow! And what for no wait till Sat.u.r.day, when it may be cleared atween us, plack and bawbee, as it was on Sat.u.r.day last?"
"Well--we will talk of it to-morrow, Mrs. Dods--Good-night." And he withdrew accordingly.
Luckie Dods stood ruminating for a moment. "The deil"s in him," she said, "for he winna bide being thrawn. And I think the deil"s in me too for thrawing him, sic a canny lad, and sae gude a customer;--and I am judging he has something on his mind--want of siller it canna be--I am sure if I thought that, I wadna care about my small thing.--But want o"
siller it canna be--he pays ower the shillings as if they were sclate stanes, and that"s no the way that folk part with their siller when there"s but little on"t--I ken weel eneugh how a customer looks that"s near the grund of the purse.--Weel! I hope he winna mind ony thing of this nonsense the morn, and I"ll try to guide my tongue something better.--Hegh, sirs! but, as the minister says, it"s an unruly member--troth, I am whiles ashamed o"t mysell."
CHAPTER X.
RESOURCES.
Come, let me have thy counsel, for I need it; Thou art of those, who better help their friends With sage advice, than usurers with gold, Or brawlers with their swords--I"ll trust to thee, For I ask only from thee words, not deeds.
_The Devil hath met his Match._
The day of which we last gave the events chanced to be Monday, and two days therefore intervened betwixt it and that for which the entertainment was fixed, that was to a.s.semble in the halls of the Lord of the Manor the flower of the company now at St. Ronan"s Well. The interval was but brief for the preparations necessary on an occasion so unusual; since the house, though delightfully situated, was in very indifferent repair, and for years had never received any visitors, except when some blithe bachelor or fox-hunter shared the hospitality of Mr. Mowbray; an event which became daily more and more uncommon; for, as he himself almost lived at the Well, he generally contrived to receive his companions where it could be done without expense to himself.
Besides, the health of his sister afforded an irresistible apology to any of those old-fashioned Scottish gentlemen, who might be too apt (in the rudeness of more primitive days) to consider a friend"s house as their own. Mr. Mowbray was now, however, to the great delight of all his companions, nailed down, by invitation given and accepted, and they looked forward to the accomplishment of his promise, with the eagerness which the prospect of some entertaining novelty never fails to produce among idlers.
A good deal of trouble devolved on Mr. Mowbray, and his trusty agent Mr.
Meiklewham, before any thing like decent preparation could be made for the ensuing entertainment; and they were left to their una.s.sisted endeavours by Clara, who, during both the Tuesday and Wednesday, obstinately kept herself secluded; nor could her brother, either by threats or flattery, extort from her any light concerning her purpose on the approaching and important Thursday. To do John Mowbray justice, he loved his sister as much as he was capable of loving any thing but himself; and when, in several arguments, he had the mortification to find that she was not to be prevailed on to afford her a.s.sistance, he, without complaint, quietly set himself to do the best he could by his own una.s.sisted judgment or opinion with regard to the necessary preparations.
This was not, at present, so easy a task as might be supposed: for Mowbray was ambitious of that character of _ton_ and elegance, which masculine faculties alone are seldom capable of attaining on such momentous occasions. The more solid materials of a collation were indeed to be obtained for money from the next market-town, and were purchased accordingly; but he felt it was likely to present the vulgar plenty of a farmer"s feast, instead of the elegant entertainment, which might be announced in a corner of the county paper, as given by John Mowbray, Esq. of St. Ronan"s, to the gay and fashionable company a.s.sembled at that celebrated spring. There was likely to be all sorts of error and irregularity in dishing, and in sending up; for Shaws-Castle boasted neither an accomplished housekeeper, nor a kitchenmaid with a hundred pair of hands to execute her mandates. All the domestic arrangements were on the minutest system of economy consistent with ordinary decency, except in the stables, which were excellent and well kept. But can a groom of the stables perform the labours of a groom of the chambers? or can the gamekeeper arrange in tempting order the carca.s.ses of the birds he has shot, strew them with flowers, and garnish them with piquant sauces? It would be as reasonable to expect a gallant soldier to act as undertaker, and conduct the funeral of the enemy he has slain.
In a word, Mowbray talked, and consulted, and advised, and squabbled, with the deaf cook, and a little old man whom he called the butler, until he at length perceived so little chance of bringing order out of confusion, or making the least advantageous impression on such obdurate understandings as he had to deal with, that he fairly committed the whole matter of the collation, with two or three hearty curses, to the charge of the officials princ.i.p.ally concerned, and proceeded to take the state of the furniture and apartments under his consideration.
Here he found himself almost equally helpless; for what male wit is adequate to the thousand little coquetries practised in such arrangements? how can masculine eyes judge of the degree of _demi-jour_ which is to be admitted into a decorated apartment, or discriminate where the broad light should be suffered to fall on a tolerable picture, where it should be excluded, lest the stiff daub of a periwigged grandsire should become too rigidly prominent? And if men are unfit for weaving such a fairy web of light and darkness as may best suit furniture, ornaments, and complexions, how shall they be adequate to the yet more mysterious office of arranging, while they disarrange, the various movables in the apartment? so that while all has the air of negligence and chance, the seats are placed as if they had been transported by a wish to the spot most suitable for accommodation; stiffness and confusion are at once avoided, the company are neither limited to a formal circle of chairs, nor exposed to break their noses over wandering stools; but the arrangements seem to correspond to what ought to be the tone of the conversation, easy, without being confused, and regulated, without being constrained or stiffened.
Then how can a clumsy male wit attempt the arrangement of all the _chiffonerie_, by which old snuff-boxes, heads of canes, pomander boxes, lamer beads, and all the trash usually found in the pigeon-holes of the bureaus of old-fashioned ladies, may be now brought into play, by throwing them, carelessly grouped with other unconsidered trifles, such as are to be seen in the windows of a p.a.w.nbroker"s shop, upon a marble _encognure_, or a mosaic work-table, thereby turning to advantage the trash and trinketry, which all the old maids or magpies, who have inhabited the mansion for a century, have contrived to acc.u.mulate. With what admiration of the ingenuity of the fair artist have I sometimes pried into these miscellaneous groups of _pseudo-bijouterie_, and seen the great grandsire"s thumb-ring couchant with the coral and bells of the first-born--and the boatswain"s whistle of some old naval uncle, or his silver tobacco-box, redolent of Oroonoko, happily grouped with the mother"s ivory comb-case, still odorous of musk, and with some virgin aunt"s tortoise-sh.e.l.l spectacle-case, and the eagle"s talon of ebony, with which, in the days of long and stiff stays, our grandmothers were wont to alleviate any little irritation in their back or shoulders! Then there was the silver strainer, on which, in more economical times than ours, the lady of the house placed the tea-leaves, after the very last drop had been exhausted, that they might afterwards be hospitably divided among the company, to be eaten with sugar, and with bread and b.u.t.ter. Blessings upon a fashion which has rescued from the claws of abigails, and the melting-pot of the silversmith, those neglected _cimelia_, for the benefit of antiquaries and the decoration of side-tables! But who shall presume to place them there, unless under the direction of female taste? and of that Mr. Mowbray, though possessed of a large stock of such treasures, was for the present entirely deprived.
This digression upon his difficulties is already too long, or I might mention the Laird"s inexperience in the art of making the worse appear the better garnishment, of hiding a darned carpet with a new floor-cloth, and flinging an Indian shawl over a faded and threadbare sofa. But I have said enough, and more than enough, to explain his dilemma to an una.s.sisted bachelor, who, without mother, sister, or cousin, without skilful housekeeper, or experienced clerk of the kitchen, or valet of parts and figure, adventures to give an entertainment, and aspires to make it elegant and _comme il faut_.
The sense of his insufficiency was the more vexatious to Mowbray, as he was aware he would find sharp critics in the ladies, and particularly in his constant rival, Lady Penelope Penfeather. He was, therefore, incessant in his exertions; and for two whole days ordered and disordered, demanded, commanded, countermanded, and reprimanded, without pause or cessation. The companion, for he could not be termed an a.s.sistant, of his labours, was his trusty agent, who trotted from room to room after him, affording him exactly the same degree of sympathy which a dog doth to his master when distressed in mind, by looking in his face from time to time with a piteous gaze, as if to a.s.sure him that he partakes of his trouble, though he neither comprehends the cause or the extent of it, nor has in the slightest degree the power to remove it.
At length when Mowbray had got some matters arranged to his mind, and abandoned a great many which he would willingly have put in better order, he sat down to dinner upon the Wednesday preceding the appointed day, with his worthy aide-de-camp, Mr. Meiklewham; and after bestowing a few muttered curses upon the whole concern, and the fantastic old maid who had brought him into the sc.r.a.pe, by begging an invitation, declared that all things might now go to the devil their own way, for so sure as his name was John Mowbray, he would trouble himself no more about them.
Keeping this doughty resolution, he sat down to dinner with his counsel learned in the law; and speedily they dispatched the dish of chops which was set before them, and the better part of the bottle of old port, which served for its menstruum.
"We are well enough now," said Mowbray, "though we have had none of their d----d kickshaws."
"A wamefou" is a wamefou"," said the writer, swabbing his greasy chops, "whether it be of the barleymeal or the bran."
"A cart-horse thinks so," said Mowbray; "but we must do as others do, and gentlemen and ladies are of a different opinion."
"The waur for themselves and the country baith, St. Ronan"s--it"s the jinketing and the jirbling wi" tea and wi" trumpery that brings our n.o.bles to nine-pence, and mony a het ha"-house to a hired lodging in the Abbey."