"I already know that Tahiri and Tekli want to return to the Unknown Regions with Zonama Sekot," Jaina told Jacen as they were returning from the meeting.
Most of the Jedi were proceeding directly to the canyon, but the twins were taking the long way back to their temporary shelter on the cliffside.
"Tekli believes she can learn a lot from the Yuuzhan Vong shapers-a.s.suming they"re willing to teach her. And Tahiri, well, I think she just wants to explore more of the Yuuzhan Vong side of her nature-of Riina."
"I know someone else who plans to remain here," Jacen said.
"Danni," Jaina said.
Jacen nodded.
"Before the war, all that interested her was the search for an extragalactic species. But the one she practically discovered single-handedly she knows only as an enemy. She told me she has as much to unlearn, as learn."
"Is that going to be hard for you-saying good-bye to her?"
"I"m happy for her." He glanced at his sister. "Anyway, I"ll always know where to find her."
"I didn"t think of that." Jaina became thoughtful for a moment then said, "Corran, Mirax, and the kids are going to Corellia for a while."
"You think Mom and Dad will go there?" Jaina shook her head in uncertainty. "I"ve no idea what those two have up their sleeves. But what about you, Jacen?"
"I know what I don"t want to do-I don"t want to be part of an order or a select group. I don"t want to be looked to as the guiding light of the new fealty, and I don"t want to be surrounded by students who"ll ask more of me than I can explain. Most of all, I don"t want to be an object of fascination or admiration, because that"ll only distract me from what I really need to learn. I don"t have dreams of being a lightsaber master or an ace starfighter pilot, and I"m not on a campaign to change anyone or anything, except myself, maybe, just to clear away some of the confusion that"s built up."
"You sound like Sekot," Jaina said. She gestured broadly to the giant trees. "You wouldn"t want to stay here? Among all this?"
"I can"t-because every part of me is desperate to stay, and I"m worried that I"d never leave."
"So you"re going to wander the galaxy or something?"
"If that"s where the Force leads me. But right now I think I"d like to spend time among some of the other Force-users-the Jensaari, the Theran Listeners, the Sunesi... maybe even try to find out where the Fallana.s.si disappeared to." Jacen laughed, clearly at himself. "Anakin"s probably ridiculing me for even thinking of going on a quest for answers.
He"d probably say that I"d do better just to plant myself under one of these boras and wait for the answers to find me, instead of roving around trying to find them." His voice took on a note of sadness. "I wish I could see him, Jaina. But I can perceive him. I carry him around with me, the way some people do a hololocket. I regret so many of the arguments we had, and so many of the wrong-headed decisions I made. But they were the best I could manage at the time. It"d be easy to say I wished we"d never gone to Myrkr. But if we hadn"t gone, then none of us might have survived the voxyn. There would have been no one to find Zonama Sekot, no chance for the Alliance or the Yuuzhan Vong. It would have been a battle to the death, with no winners."
Jaina kept silent until she was certain he was through.
"Anakin was such a special person that even now it doesn"t seem fair that he should have been the one to die. I know that fairness has nothing to do with it, but I"ll never get over his death-just like the way he might never have been able to get over Chewie"s death. I never had any real doubts that I"d survive the war, but my worst fear was that I"d survive without you, Mom, and Dad. I didn"t want to live after Myrkr, Jacen. If you had died there, I don"t think I could have gone on. I wouldn"t have just become "the Sword of the Jedi," but the sword the Jedi would have been sorry they"d forged. I would have made the Kyp who destroyed Carida look like a simple scoundrel."
Jacen whistled in relief.
"What about Kyp? Now that we have survived."
"I don"t know, I really don"t. He"s been something of a mentor, in the same way Mara has."
She brought her right forefinger and thumb close together.
"I thought for about this long that I could actually feel something for him, but falling in love with your mentor isn"t a sane thing to do, because you"re not really seeing the person. You"re seeing the statue on the pedestal. You"re worshiping the idea."
"The way Jag does with you?"
"Jag doesn"t worship me."
"Now that he"s gotten to know you, you mean."
Jaina smacked her brother on the arm.
"Even though you"re right. The thing is, I don"t want to be at the center of anything, either. I know that Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara would like to see me mentor some of the young students-maybe even Ben-but Kam and Tionne have bonded with the kids much better than I ever could.
Anyway, I don"t want to be too far from the action." She looked at Jacen.
"I have too much of Mom and Dad in me to give up fighting for peace and justice."
"Especially now that you"ve gotten so good at it." Jaina snorted ruefully. "That"s the real problem, right? When it starts to come easy?"
"You just have to avoid the killing part of it."
"Unfortunately, that"s part of the starfighter pilot job description."
"So find some other way to satisfy your need for speed and action.
I hear Podracing"s making a comeback." Jaina laughed heartily. "It"s in our blood, anyway."
"More than the military is. I mean, Dad just about got drummed out, Mom was a Rebel, and our paternal grandparents were... What?"
Jaina shook her head.
"I don"t know. But some people say that important traits tend to skip a generation."
Streaking a cloudless azure sky, a dozen ships of motley design and capability soared high above Zonama Sekot and gradually disappeared from sight.
"Everyone"s leaving, Artoo," C-3PO said in a wistful tone. "They"re returning to their homeworlds or going in search of missing friends.
Masters Lowbacca, Sebatyne, Katarn, Zekk, and Azur-Jamin; Mistresses Rar, Ramis, and Kirana Ti; the children... I already miss them."
Four days had pa.s.sed since the Jedi gathering, and the two droids were standing on the simple terrace that fronted Luke and Mara"s cliff dwelling in the Middle Distance. The Skywalkers were completing repair work on Jade Shadow, and Han, Leia, and the Noghri had gone to Coruscant on unstated business. R2-D2 chittered a short reply.
"Of course I realize that we"ll be seeing everyone again, Artoo.
But under very different circ.u.mstances."
The astromech fluted in a long-suffering way, and C-3PO tilted his head to one side.
"You can be the most infuriating little droid! I am fully aware of my need to adapt to change. But that needn"t interfere with my ability to express sadness over the closing of an era."
R2-D2 issued a flurry of buzzes, zithers, and hoots.
"I know it was a war, you... you mechanic! And I also realize that it was a war that threatened our existence far more than any other war has. But that"s precisely the point, because for a moment we became as valuable as they were. As often as they fought with us, they fought for us."
R2-D2 made a more decorous reply.
"You"re correct, Artoo. They do need us. But they need us in a good way." C-3PO listened for a moment, then said, "A far more dangerous enemy? Who or what could possibly be more dangerous than the Yuuzhan Vong?"
R2-D2 warbled.
"Obsolescence?"
After mulling it over, the protocol droid loosed what amounted to a sigh.
"Perhaps I am deluding myself. With all the advances that have been made in droid technology, I suppose we are in danger of being considered obsolete. But what are we to do, Artoo? Retirement isn"t an option for us. We will continue as relics, of a sort, pa.s.sed along to new masters until our parts can no longer be replaced, or until we suffer some irreparable system failure. Oh, it"s all very... bittersweet, I think is the proper word."
R2-D2"s response was a surprisingly cheery burst of squeaks and peeps.
"Do you really believe that life will remain as unpredictable as ever and that our adventures will continue? I hope so, my little friend, even if they don"t quite measure up to adventures we"ve had, and even if they are lacking a dash of the old enchantment."
R2-D2 made a razzing sound.
"What do you mean, I used to say that all the time? Just what are you going on about?" C-3PO paused, then said. "I don"t mind at all that it"s a long story. After all, Artoo, we have nothing but time..."
FORTY-FIVE.
Jagged Fel had been a.s.signed to the starfighter team that escorted the Yuuzhan Vong transports from Coruscant to Zonama Sekot. Inside two Star Destroyers were the weaponless yorik-trema that would shuttle the tens of thousands to their new home in the planet"s southern hemisphere.
The trackless forests were severely scarred as a result of the blight the Yuuzhan Vong warriors had delivered to the surface fifty years earlier, but the first groups to arrive were already settled in the warmest valleys, and their minshals, damuteks, grashals, and creches appeared to have taken well to their new circ.u.mstances-from what could be seen at an alt.i.tude of twenty kilometers, at any rate.
Though Alliance personnel were prohibited from landing, Jag had received special permission from General Farlander to pay a brief visit to the Middle Distance, ostensibly to speak with the Solos, but in fact to one Solo in particular.
He hadn"t spoken to Jaina since parting company with the Millennium Falcon following the pursuit of the Supreme Overlord"s escape vessel.
Circ.u.mstances had made for a rushed and confused conversation. Jag had returned to Coruscant to regroup with Twin Suns Squadron, and the Falcon-with the Solos and Skywalkers safely aboard-had jumped for Zonama Sekot.
In the long weeks that followed, he had been unsuccessful at contacting Zonama Sekot through either the Millennium Falcon or Jade Shadow. When at last he had gotten through to Errant Venture, he"d learned that Jaina was still on the living world. Talon Karrde had promised to carry Jag"s message to her.
She was waiting for Jag on the canyon-rim landing field when he set his clawcraft down among a throng of peculiar vessels and climbed out into the cold air. Fat flakes of snow were falling, but those only made him feel more at home, for he was no stranger to frigid climates. Jaina was wearing some sort of natural-fiber poncho and a cap of similar weave, with flaps that covered her ears. After an awkward moment of staring at each other, she grinned and hurried into his arms, hugging him tightly, then kissing him on both cheeks and once on the lips.
If she hadn"t let go, he might have gone on holding her right through Zonama Sekot"s return jump to the Unknown Regions.
"Twin Suns Leader," she said, stepping back to appraise him. He straightened his shoulders. "Jealous?"
"Maybe a little." Jag gazed at the strange, triple-lobed ships that surrounded the solitary X-wing. "Are these the Sekotan fighters?"
Jaina followed his gaze.
"Yep."
"I don"t suppose-"
"Don"t even ask," she cut him off. "They"re not for sale."
She grabbed his hand and led him to a shelter that stood at the border of the field. On the way they waved to Luke and Mara, who were loading supplies into Jade Shadow"s cargo hold, young Ben toddling beside them. Jaina was still holding his hand when she said, "Thank you for everything you did at Coruscant-flying support for the Falcon and all. Mara told me she had to stop you from searching the Citadel for me."
"I might have disobeyed if the escape vessel hadn"t launched.
People are saying that you and Jacen killed the Supreme Overlord."
"I don"t remember a lot of what happened. But Jacen and Luke were the ones who fought Shimrra and Onimi."
Snow frosted her cap and the tops of her shoulders. Her cheeks and nose were red with cold, and she looked radiant.
"Jaina, time is scarce, so I"ll come straight to the point. I"m returning to Csilla, and I want you to come with me. I know that my parents and my sister, Wynssa, would love to meet you."
Even though a light smile formed on her lips, the answer was in her eyes, and Jag felt as if he had been deflated.
"I"d love to see Csilla-really. But this isn"t the right time."
"For Csilla, or for us?"
Her face wrinkled, and she took her lower lip between her teeth, "Don"t make this too hard on me, okay?"
"It"s your parents, isn"t it? They hate the thought of you consorting with the son of a former Imperial. It goes against the Skywalker-Solo grain."
She frowned.
"You"re way off. After what you did for my father at Hapes, and all you"ve done since, they practically consider you family. And even if that was true, do you think that would stop me from going with you?"
"It"s Kyp, then."
"Wrong again."
Jag beetled his brows.
"I don"t understand. What"s made you change your mind about us?"
She shook her head.
"I think it"s good that you"re going to Csilla. I need some time to work through everything that"s happened, Jag."
"I love you, Jaina," he blurted.
Jaina made her lips a thin line, then sighed and said, "I love you, too. Someday I want a partner, and I want what my mom and dad have, and what Luke and Mara have. I intend to raise a family. I just want to be sure that I can offer my children more than what Mom and Mara have been able to offer theirs." She reached for both his hands. "I"m glad that we found each other, Jag. You made the worst time of my life a lot easier to bear. But now I"m still on the move, I"m still a Jedi and a fighter pilot. Do you understand-even a little?"
Jag blew out his breath.
"As much as I don"t wish to, I do understand."