When you experience something like that, you don"t need to react as Elijah did when he was exhausted. Instead of thinking what a miserable person you are and moaning and groaning about how happy you were yesterday but how terrible you feel today and complaining to the Lord about how worthless you feel, realize what is happening. When I reach that state, I say, "Lord, I"m feeling down right now, so I"m going to rest and build myself up physically as well as spiritually. It has really helped me to be mentally prepared for both abasing and abounding in my life. We simply cannot live on an emotional high with everything in our life going exactly the way we want it to. We must have contrast in order to even appreciate the good things we have. For example, if everything in life was the same color, then no color would stand out. We can trust G.o.d to do what is best for us. I believe Paul finally came to a place of contentment because he trusted G.o.d to do what he needed in every season of his life. We greatly honor G.o.d when we make the decision to be content no matter our circ.u.mstances.
CHAPTER 62.
Don"t Cater to Your Emotions A young woman in one of our meetings once told me her husband was a manic-depressive. He went from one emotional extreme to another. She said for three months he would be on an emotional high and be really creative. In his business, he would buy and sell, invest large sums of money, and be tremendously successful. When he came down from those emotional highs, he would go into deep depressions that might last for as long as six months.
At one time, medical science looked at only the emotional lows for people suffering from manic depression. When they were enjoying an emotional high, nothing was done for them. According to an article I recently read, it has now been discovered that the attempt must be made to bring down the extreme highs as well. Health experts are learning that balance is the key.
We have always applauded high emotions and been critical of lows. Actually, both extreme ends are bad. Most of us will never have problems with manic depression, but we can learn a principle from how they are treated by understanding it isn"t good enough to simply resist depression; we must also resist the temptation to get so emotionally high that it leaves us exhausted and open prey for the devil. None of us can live on the mountaintop all the time. There are going to be days when we are up and days when we feel down. Emotions are fickle, fluctuating frequently for no apparent reason. What we need to learn is how to manage both ends of the emotional spectrum.
I have grown in this area, and to be honest I don"t feel extreme excitement now regarding my conferences or ministry opportunities. People frequently ask me if I am excited when I am leaving on a trip and they eye me suspiciously when I say, "Not really." You see, I have learned about something that is much better than mere excitement. I am pa.s.sionate about completing the work G.o.d has given me to do. Pa.s.sion is much more than a feeling. It is the fuel that causes you to finish what you start.
Since I no longer give myself over to extreme emotional highs, I don"t experience the exhaustion and low moods I once did. I now have balance and it is wonderful.
One thing that is important for stable emotional health is honesty-with yourself and with others. People close to us can sense when we are struggling emotionally. I find it is best for my family and me if I am honest with them about what is going on with me. At those times when I feel myself sliding toward anger, depression, or any negative emotion, I tell my family, "My emotions are going haywire today, so if I"m quiet, just don"t pay any attention to me for a while."
James 5:16 encourages us to confess our faults to one another so we may be healed and restored to a spiritual tone of mind and heart. We must remember that what we hide still has power over us, but when we bring things out in the open, they begin losing their grip immediately. If you are emotional because you are tired, just admit to yourself and others you are tired and need time to rest. Sometimes we like to think we have no limits, but the truth is only G.o.d has no limits. The rest of us need to recognize when we have done all we can and remember that is nothing to be ashamed of.
I found that if I tried to protect my spiritual reputation by pretending nothing was wrong with me, all it did was bring confusion to my entire family. They might begin to imagine I was angry with them for some reason. Then they would become upset, trying to reason out what they might have done to upset me. We were all a lot better off if I simply explained what was happening and made a decision to be quiet during those times.
When we are emotionally upset, we have a tendency to say things we regret later, so why not choose to be quiet and avoid hurting people?
One of the members of our road team who is normally very talkative and bubbly suddenly became very quiet and almost withdrawn. Several of the other team members noticed it and came to Dave and me asking what was wrong with her. They thought she was angry about something or with someone on the travel crew.
When I spoke with her, she was simply having some health problems. She had recently gone for some medical tests and was concerned while she was awaiting the results. She said, "I always get quiet and just pray when I"m dealing with something like this." I told her that getting quiet and praying was the thing to do, but that it might be good the next time to just mention to everyone that she was dealing with something personal and not to think anything about it if she seemed quiet. By being open and honest with people we can prevent the devil from placing negative things in their imaginations. People respect us if we are open and straightforward. I learned this truth with my family, and it saved all of us a lot of anxiety.
I want to remind you that the devil will try to use our emotions to bring us under guilt and condemnation, but G.o.d often uses them to test or try us so we come out of our emotional upheavals stronger and able to control them better than ever before. The key is in learning not to give in or cater to emotions. If we cater to our emotions, giving in to their every whim, we may avoid some momentary pain, but later on we suffer miserably because of all the bad decisions we made. It is always best to discipline ourselves in the beginning and then we can have long-term joy later on. I spent many years going from feeling up to feeling down, and expressing my negative emotions loudly and very badly. I had to learn like everyone else that it was not pleasing to G.o.d and that if I cater to my feelings now, I will always pay later. G.o.d will help you be stable if that is your desire. Pray and don"t run from the hard times, because they are helping you more than you may realize.
The devil will try to use our emotions to bring us under guilt and condemnation, but G.o.d often uses them to test or try us so we come out of our emotional upheavals stronger and able to control them better than ever before.
CHAPTER 63.
Don"t Trust Your Feelings Watchman Nee stated that emotion is the most formidable enemy to the life of a spiritual Christian and that he who lives by emotion lives without principle. He was expressing the apostle Paul"s teaching that we cannot be spiritual-that is, walk in the Spirit-and be led by emotions.
We all have emotions. They will not go away, and we must deal with them because we cannot trust them. Emotions change frequently and often without a moment"s notice. They are fickle. Emotions are one of our greatest enemies because, more than anything else, Satan uses our emotions against us to keep us from walking in the Spirit. The mind is the battlefield where the war is waged between the Spirit and the soul. I have read that when emotion pulsates, the mind becomes deceived, and conscience is denied its standard of judgment.
People often ask me, "How can I know for sure whether I"m hearing from G.o.d or from my emotions?" I believe the answer is to learn to wait. Emotions urge us toward haste. They tell us we have to do something, and we must do it right now! But G.o.dly wisdom tells us to wait until we have a clear picture of what we are to do and when we are to do it. What we all need to do is develop the capacity to back away and view our situation from G.o.d"s perspective. We need to be able to make decisions based on what we know rather than on what we feel.
We need to be able to make decisions based on what we know rather than on what we feel.
If mature Christians say, "I feel G.o.d wants me to do this or that," in reality what they are saying is they sense in their spirit the Lord is telling them to do or not do something. They are not talking about operating by their emotions, but by what they perceive spiritually to be the will of G.o.d for them in that situation. Whenever we are faced with a decision, we need to ask ourselves: "Am I making this decision according to my fleshly feelings or according to what I feel deep in my spirit which is the will of G.o.d?"
CHAPTER 64.
Emotional Discernment My husband Dave and I have a certain way we handle our money. At one time we each got a weekly allowance. I usually saved my money to buy clothes and other things I wanted or needed.
One time I had about $375 saved to buy a good watch. I always had cheaper watches and really wanted to buy a good, 14-karat gold watch, so the band would not discolor.
Because I had been shopping for a watch for a while and discovered that the type I wanted would cost about eight or nine hundred dollars, I was saving my money toward that goal.
One day Dave and I were in the mall and happened to stop at a jewelry store where I saw a watch that was only gold-plated but was really very pretty. It matched my ring and seemed to be just what I was looking for. It fit my arm perfectly, so it wouldn"t need adjustment. Not only that, the clerk offered to mark it down from $395 to $316. So my emotions said, "Yes! That"s exactly what I want!"
But then my husband said, "Well, now, you know, it"s not 14-karat gold."
So I asked the clerk, "How long do you think the gold-plating will last?"
"Well, it could last from five to ten years." Notice she wasn"t making any real commitment; she just said it might last that long.
I turned to Dave and said, "Oh, my. I really like that watch. What should I do?"
"It"s your money," he answered.
"I"ll tell you what I"m going to do," I told the clerk. "You hold it for me for half an hour. I"m going to walk around the mall for a bit. If I want the watch, I"ll come back within thirty minutes."
So Dave and I walked around the mall for a while. As we did so, we pa.s.sed a dress shop. Because I needed a couple of new outfits, I went in and found a really nice suit. I tried it on, and it fit perfectly. I loved it.
"That"s a nice suit," Dave said. "You really ought to get it."
I looked at the price tag and saw that it read $279. That was more than I usually paid for clothing at that time, but I really wanted that suit! I was trying to decide what to do and became very confused, so I put the suit back on the rack.
"Aren"t you going to buy it?" David asked.
"No," I answered. "I"m not going to buy it either. I"m going to think about it."
Actually there were three things I wanted. I wanted the watch, I wanted the suit, and I wanted not to be broke. I wanted to have some money on hand to buy little things I needed from time to time and to be able to do some things I enjoyed like taking my kids out for lunch now and then.
What did I eventually do? I applied wisdom. I decided to wait. The watch would have taken all my savings and would still not be what I really wanted. The suit was beautiful, but it also would have taken most of my savings. Since it was long-sleeved, I wouldn"t have been able to wear it until the next fall. It would have hung in my closet for a long time.
The best thing, I decided, was to keep my money and wait until I was sure what I wanted most.
I really learned a lesson from that experience. I had peace about my decision. As much as I would have enjoyed either the watch or the suit, I knew I had done the right thing.
It turned out that my husband later used his saved allowance and bought both the watch and the suit for me-plus a ring to match! It all worked out beautifully because I was willing to listen to reason and apply wisdom rather than being controlled by my emotions.
If we are willing to learn to control our emotions, G.o.d will bless us.
I am not saying that if you will delay every decision, someone else will make it for you and you will get everything you want and more. I am saying that usually the wisest course is: when in doubt, don"t!
If we are willing to learn to control our emotions, G.o.d will bless us.
When faced with any difficult decision, wait until you have peace or a clear answer before taking a step you may regret. Emotions are wonderful, but they must not be allowed to take precedence over wisdom and knowledge. Remember: control your emotions; don"t let them control you.
CHAPTER 65.
Managing Your Emotions for a Life of Joy and Peace It is always fun to go to banquets or other catered events where all your wants and needs are met immediately and fully by someone else. But there is always a price to be paid for that kind of service. The same is true in the area of emotions. There is a price we must pay for catering to the desires and demands of our emotions-the demands of our flesh. Romans 8:8 explains, "So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appet.i.tes and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy G.o.d, or be acceptable to Him."
Following the desires of the flesh leads to destruction; following the Spirit leads to life and peace (see v. 6). If we follow the dictates and demands of our flesh-our unbridled emotions-we will have a price to pay. Why? The thoughts and purposes of the flesh are hostile to G.o.d and cannot submit to G.o.d"s law (see v. 7). Part of the price we must pay for catering to our emotions is not being able to live the Spirit-filled life. The flesh is opposed to the Spirit, and the Spirit is opposed to the flesh. They are continually antagonistic to each other. This means we cannot be led by our emotions and still be led by the Holy Spirit. We have to make a choice.
We cannot be led by our emotions and still be led by the Holy Spirit. We have to make a choice.