Still Not Wanting to Forget

Chapter 16

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When Si Nian returned to her own room, her entire body was aching all over. She went straight to bed, sleeping late into the night. Only when the doorbell rang, did she wake up in a daze. She turned around and then went back to bed, hugging her quilt. Her phone rang, vibrated, rang, and then vibrated again… Si Nian finally fumbled for her phone, placing it on the side of her face. “h.e.l.lo…” “Open the door.”

…

“Si Nian?” … Hugging the phone, she fell asleep again. It was not until that she sensed the entire room was illuminated and there was a faint smell of food that she woke up with a sharp pain. Even so, she couldn’t find the strength to even move a single muscle in her body. Cheng Chen wrapped her in the quilt and carried her. Si Nian placed her chin on his shoulder, nose wrinkling as she commented, “How smelly.” There was a scorched, burning smell, and that smell of sandy soil. In conclusion, it smelled completely repulsive.

“I’m afraid you’ll be hungry, so I came over without washing up.” Cheng Chen propped her up with a pillow. He took off his outerwear, threw it on the sofa, and then went into the bathroom. The sound of water flowing quickly stopped. He came out with clean face and hands. Si Nian was finally almost completely conscious. “How did you come in…” “I handed the hotel my ID and told them I’m your husband.” He pulled another chair to sit next to her, placing the food container on the table and arranging them with care. Si Nian watched as he opened all the containers, watched as he took out a pair of disposable chopsticks for her, watched as he handed them to her. She muttered, “… and they believed you like that?” Cheng Chen didn’t reply. The hair on near his temples was still wet. He looked visibly exhausted. When their eyes met, Si Nian looked away instantly. She didn’t dare to look up, as if she was some young, newly married wife. Taking the chopsticks from him, she pretended to be calm. “How can the people at this hotel be so irresponsible and let you in just because you gave them your ID… what if something happens to me?” He laughed a little. “It’s the celebrity effect.” “But you’re not a celebrity. A director that can be recognised by the public, I think it’s probably only people like Ang Lee, Tsui Hark, and Zhang Yimou…” Cheng Chen took off his gla.s.ses, placing them on the bedside table. He closed his eyes and ma.s.saged his temples. “Shen Zhe is there, he can settle any married and unmarried men and women.” Shen Zhe? Si Nian looked at him with a flabbergasted expression. Did he said those words in front of Shen Zhe? … they just got back together recently, isn’t this moving too fast? Cheng Chen seemed not to have noticed her reaction. He only leaned on the headboard, eyes firmly shut. He quietly said, “Eat quickly, the food is almost cold.” Si Nian made an “en” sound. Sitting on the bed, she starting eating the dishes he brought her. It was pretty wasteful, there was no way she could finish everything. When she turned around to ask if he wanted to eat as well, she realized that he was already asleep. Leaning on the headboard, his face looked worn and tired. She bit on her chopsticks, watching him look so pathetic, she suddenly felt very touched. She was unfathomably moved by that scene, overwhelmed by her own feelings. She quickly finished eating and quietly got off the bed to clean up. Then she climbed up into bed, careful not to wake him, and helped him remove his shirt. Cheng Chen was a light sleeper but because he knew it was Si Nian, he didn’t open his eyes and allowed her to do whatever she wanted. Si Nian helped him off his shirt and placed it on the sofa. She hesitated when she saw his pants. Take off, or don’t take off? “Let me do it myself,” Cheng Chen said, his voice low. He started undoing his belt. Si Nian hurriedly turned off the lights and climbed under the quilt. She could sense Cheng Chen removing his pants and climbed into bed with her. She began to get nervous but all he did was hugging her from behind, kissing her shoulder. He quickly fell back asleep. Si Nian had slept for an entire day, she was completely wide awake. Lying in his arms, she thought for a long time about the script for her next film, contemplating this and that, before slowly falling asleep. The next day, he also left early. Cheng Chen’s a.s.sistant booked her an afternoon ticket. Before leaving the hotel, she sent him a text. Only after she reached the airport and about to board, did he called her. “I was busy earlier, have you reached the airport?” Si Nian made an “en” sound, handing over her boarding pa.s.s to the inspector. “I’m about to board the plane.” “Si Nian.” He called her name. Si Nian walked into the air bridge, patiently waiting for him to continue. “Director?” She heard Liu Qing Qing’s voice from the other end. Cheng Chen made an “en” sound. “Tong Jia needs to make a public appearance the day after tomorrow, her entertainment company has already requested leave…” The conversation seemed to go on and on. Cheng Chen listened patiently, while Si Nian was close to fuming waiting for it to end. When she found her seat and settled down, Liu Qing Qing finally ended her longwinded speech. But the plane was going off soon. “Sprite is filming in Beijing,” Cheng Chen suddenly said, “In a few days my friend will bring him over to Hongqiao Airport. Help me bring him home, okay?” Si Nian made a sound of acknowledgment. The air hostess was already walking over, reminding Si Nian to turn off her phone. Cheng Chen seemed to have heard that and quickly added, “I will text you the details.” Si Nian made another “en” sound. “Remember to text me your friend’s number as well.” Under the air hostess’s watchful eye, she finally gave up and hurriedly ended the call.

To pick up Sprite, Si Nian called Shen Wei Jue the same day to request a drive to the airport. Sitting on the pa.s.senger seat, Si Nian gently scratched Cola’s chin, causing the cat to close her eyes with contentment and lean into Si Nian’s palm. While driving, Shen Wei Jue gleefully said, “A director’s dog is simply different, he can even guest star in films.” “Appearing in films is a kind of suffering,” Si Nian replied, frowning, “Even a human is worked like a dog, what would happen to an actual dog?” “If you put it that way, actors truly have it harder than us.” “Much harder,” Si Nian agreed. “If I have any children in the future, I would definitely prohibit them from being actors, they will have to wake up early and sleep late to work. No matter how popular they are, they still have to cater to others’ mood, there’s seriously nothing good about being actors.” Shen Wei Jue was about to reply but her phone suddenly rang. She slipped on her earphones, listening for a moment. She immediately replied, “Civil or criminal case?” “Did the person die?” “Dead? That’s good!” Si Nian quietly stared at her… It was obviously a work-related call. She said, “I know you’re a legal programme reporter… but you don’t have to be so cold-blooded, do you?” She shivered a little. “You should change your programme, you’re close to being a psychopath…” Shen Wei Jue stared at her, eyes wide. “I’m a dainty, feminine woman. How am I cold-blooded?” Si Nian snorted, can’t be bothered to argue with her. When they picked up Sprite, Si Nian was overwhelmed with heartache. Sprite had beautiful coat of fur but he looked exactly like Cheng Chen that night, worn and tired. Furthermore he was kept in a cage, he looked nervous. Only when he saw Si Nian, did he started shaking his tail. His eyes were pitifully watery. Si Nian originally planned to have lunch with Shen Wei Jue but upon seeing Sprite in such a state, she no longer had the mood. They bought takeaway and went home. Shen Wei Jue sat in the living room, gorging on the food, while she bathed Sprite in the bathroom. When her hands were covered in foam, Cola came in with her phone. The phone was vibrating, Cheng Chen’s name was flashed across the screen. Si Nian wiped her hands clean, pressed ‘answer’. Cheng Chen’s voice was a little unclear. “Did you pick him up?” “En.” She lightly nudged Sprite and the dog obediently jumped into the bath tub. “Which company did you lend Sprite to? They’re completely awful, I think they didn’t even give him a bath.” Cheng Chen laughed. “They’re filming outdoors. Humans don’t even have the privilege to bath, what more with dogs.” “If you saw him, you’ll definitely understand my heartache,” she said. She poured water all over Sprite, cleaning him off the bubbles. Seeing Sprite not opening his eyes, she immediately told Cheng Chen, “I think the foam got into his eyes. I’ll call you later.” She hung up as soon as she said those words. She soaked her towel in water and cleaned Sprite’s face. When she was about to change a new towel for Sprite, she saw someone leaning on the doorframe, watching her. Cheng Chen was rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, smiling at her without saying thing. He didn’t even remove his outerwear yet. Dumbstruck, she stared at him, not knowing what to say. “I took leave,” he said. Si Nian lifted the corners of her lips, “En.” It was actually only one week since they last met. “One of the cast left for a publicity event, so I came back,” he said, walking over to Si Nian. “I’m not going to be here for long, only a day.” She hugged his neck, laughing softly. “If it’s just one day, why come back?” He said nothing, placing Si Nian on top of the marble counter. Leaning in, he placed his face close to hers, touching slightly. She evaded him, reminding him with a quiet voice. “Shen Wei Jue is still in the living room, be more sensitive.” “She left after opening the door for me.” … Si Nian looked at him with a flabbergasted expression. What a miracle, how concentrated as she while cleaning Sprite that she didn’t realize the person in her house was replaced by another. Since it was just him and her, she no longer put up appearances and planted a gentle kiss on him. “Why are you also smelly, exactly like Sprite.” Cheng Chen smiled at her. “Why don’t I wash up first?” “No,” she said, glancing at Sprite who was staring at the both of them. “I want to finish washing up Sprite or else he’ll catch a cold. Wait another ten minutes…” As if remembering something, she turned to look at him. “Did you bring a change of clothes? I don’t have any of your clothes here. Why don’t I buy some while you’re in the bath?” While talking, she kept on thinking about the shopping mall in her area. Then she heard him cough once. She looked at him. “What’s wrong?” “When I was in university, I rented a room nearby and there was no heater. I kept on remembering you saying you would spend your winter reading romance novels near the heater. Once you read, you would read until late into the night,” he said, saying things of no relevance. “Back then there were a lot of girls who wanted to date me. Even though they were all from theatre department, they were still girls, so they would still try to look reserved. When I look at them, I would always remember that the first time you called me, you called me ‘hubby’…” Si Nian felt her heart soften and she couldn’t respond. He caressed her cheek. “I was a little afraid these few days, I kept on wondering if I met someone decent and got together with her, would I regret when I met you?” “Would you? Who knows, maybe you would find someone better.” Si Nian could only say words that didn’t at all reflect her true feelings, but deep down she was afraid he would agree with her. “I would.” Cheng Chen suddenly laughed. “When I first met you, I was still a poor student. I don’t have a credit card, I don’t even have a phone. I can only call you on the public phone. Other than mailing you snacks occasionally, I couldn’t buy you anything. During Valentine’s Day, I could only talk to you for three hours, talking to you and trying to make you happy. I can’t buy a car, I can’t buy a house, I can’t even buy the cat you like. Thinking about it, other than having good grades, there’s nothing good about me…” Si Nian stared at him, a little stunned. She wanted to say something but kept quiet. His voice had traces of exhaustion but was still gentle and clear. He sounded exactly like he did so long ago, in the beginning of the beginning. She was leaning near the phone, waiting for his first phone call and voice. Back then he had just finished his final exams, it was also the day of the fourth month anniversary since they first met. They promised to talk on the phone that day, to hear each other’s voices. She could still remember now, how nervous she was, how erratic her heartbeat was. It was only after a long time that she managed to say the words “h.e.l.lo”. Yet it was his voice, accompanied with sounds of traffic in the background, calling her name. “Si Nian, also si nian (longing).” Sprite could no longer take it. Jumping out from the tub, he stared at the two person staring at each other with much confusion. Because of the heat from the bathroom, Cheng Chen’s gla.s.ses were fogged. He took them down. His eyes were as dark and clear as the night, having said all those words that he kept buried. “The person who I loved back then, and also the person who loved me, in this lifetime there is only you.”

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