He had noticed the honey. She had a good face.
"Yeah, I thought she was cute, but when she fell asleep her mouth fell open." Jason shuddered with mock disgust, a disgust which he actually half felt.
"Even pretty women"s jaws go slack when they are sleeping, Jason. It"s normal. It"s real," snapped Mia.
"Do they? I wouldn"t know. I never let pretty women sleep," he grinned. "Look at that!" he yelled excitedly, his attention quickly moving away from the pretty woman on the plane. He picked up a leaflet from the number advertising the bars, hotels and clubs there to tempt the tourists.
"It says here that we could have taken a helicopter to the resort. That"s what you should have done, Rich. Only the best for the bride and groom. Don"t you agree, Jayne?"
Jason was a pro when it came to flirting, and he knew that it was always a successful ruse to address every comment to the object of your attraction. It made them believe that they were the only person in the world for you; it seemed to help women forget that he was shorter than average.
Jayne smiled a slow and G.o.d, yes, he was certain sultry smile at him and Rich, and replied, "Absolutely. Rich deserves the best."
"I"m really sorry, I wish I"d known about the helicopter," said Rich apologetically, turning to Tash. She laughed, and kissed him on the lips.
"Don"t worry. Travelling on a tandem would seem like the lap of luxury as long as I"m travelling with you."
"I think I"m going to be sick," said Mia, and Jason knew that she wasn"t entirely joking.
They"d arranged to hire a huge four-wheel drive Mitsubishi Shogun. But as Jayne had joined the trip one extra bod and board made that impossible for everyone to squeeze into.
"We can offer you two Audis, instead," said the guy behind the desk at Hertz rental. "It is a slightly more expensive option, a further 200 euros."
Ted handed over his Amex to pay for the lease of a second car. Jayne flashed her cutest smile and pecked her brother on the cheek.
"I think it would have been more appropriate for her to get out her own plastic, by way of a thank you. Wouldn"t you say?" Mia whispered to Jason.
"Women like Jayne aren"t used to paying their way, Mia. Besides, who cares? It"s not our business."
They found the cars and broke into two groups. Jayne and Kate piled into the back of one car, while Lloyd and Ted strapped luggage to the roof and tossed up to see who would drive. This left Jason, Mia, Rich and Tash with the second car.
Jason turned to Rich, "You"ll have to drive, mate. I had a gla.s.s of champagne and two vodkas on the plane."
"No problem." Rich took the keys.
"Scaley! Just because we are women doesn"t mean we can"t drive, you know. I pa.s.sed my test when I was seventeen years old, first time, and I"ve never had so much as a parking ticket," scolded Mia, as she climbed into the back with Jason. In fact, she didn"t really fancy trying to negotiate the snowy mountains, especially driving on the wrong side of the road, but she didn"t like the a.s.sumption that she wasn"t up to driving.
Jason rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wished Mia could be just a little less feisty. Why couldn"t she be more like Tash, who had sat in the front seat next to Rich and said nothing? Tash was more than happy to concentrate on reading the next chapter of her novel, although Rich had different ideas.
"Forget the novel. You"re navigating," he said, as he tossed a map and a grin at Tash. Tash groaned.
"If you can"t read maps, we could swap places," said Mia.
"Thanks, but I"ll be fine," replied Tash.
"If the translation is unclear, I am fluent in French. I did my "
" degree in it. I know. No, really, I"m fine," said Tash a little more firmly.
Jason shook his head in despair. Mia was so compet.i.tive. What was she trying to prove? He could barely remember the time when he found her attractive. Barely.
As it happened, Tash navigated them through Geneva, along the A40, past Bonneville, past Cluses and towards Chamonix without a hiccup. The two hire cars with large boots, snow chains and roof racks headed towards the mountains. The gang felt like intrepid adventurers, but were comfortable in the knowledge that the holiday would be the fun side of exhausting.
"Good service on the flight, don"t you think?" asked Jason. He was thinking of the two hard-body air stewardesses, one of whom had slipped her name and mobile telephone number into his jacket pocket.
"It was ace," said Tash. "So exciting. I just love those smart leather seats and the tiny gla.s.s bowls of fresh fruit and the little jam pots. Club cla.s.s is amazing. Unfortunately, I made the ultimate blunder and tried to pay for the champagne."
From the corner of his eye Jason could see Mia smirk. He was determined not to catch her eye and allow her to turn it into a conspiratorial moment, so instead he beamed at Tash.
"You"re right, it is cool travelling club," he said. "A real treat."
"Yeah, well, you only get married once," said Rich.
"Sometimes more, Action Man," commented Mia. Jason finally looked at her, but it was more of a glare than a conspiratorial wink. G.o.d, she could be a b.i.t.c.h. He was so well shot of her. He often thought so. OK, he also found it a bit strange that his best mate and partner in crime was now besotted and therefore a walking marshmallow. But Jason liked it. Live and let live, that was his motto.
"What?" asked Mia. "I"m only being realistic. In this day and age, it is a fact that over 40 per cent of marriages end in divorce. I"m just saying that getting married is not a once-in-a-lifetime experience any more."
Rich didn"t take his eyes off the road; Tash picked up her novel.
"Why don"t you just shut up, Mia," whispered Jason.
"I didn"t mean anything by it. I was just saying."
"Well, just don"t." Then he added in a louder voice, "I love Avoriaz. It"s so entirely St Tropez in the snow."
He"d read that in a Sunday supplement, and the phrase had stuck with him, and while he wasn"t entirely certain he understood it, let alone believed it, he was keen to change the subject.
"Isn"t it just," agreed Mia, who clearly thought it was a clever comment.
"What?" said Tash, who clearly thought it was a w.a.n.ky one. "I"m thinking young, s.e.xy, hip people walking around in fur bikinis and knee-high boots," she giggled, gently taking the mick. Jason and Rich laughed, too. "But then it might be for all I know. I"ve never been to Avoriaz."
"Really?" Mia screeched in disbelief. "I thought everybody who called themselves a skier had been to Avoriaz at least once." She shook her head. "I"d never have believed it. I didn"t think I even knew anybody who hadn"t been to Avoriaz."
Tash turned around in her car seat to face Mia head on. She was already sick of the jibes. Wasn"t Mia"s reaction a little over the top? It wasn"t as though Tash had confessed to not owning a pa.s.sport. Mia steadfastly stared out of the car window and watched the countryside whizz by, pretending to be intent on admiring the beauty of long-forgotten farmhouses that were centuries old.
"I"m not a skier, I"m a boarder," Tash stated. She was hoping to sound dignified, but she realized she sounded pathetic.
"I want to try boarding," said Jason, trying to give the impression that he was oblivious to the aggro between the women. It was amazing that Rich seemed to be genuinely so.
"We all came to Avoriaz the first winter that we had jobs. Gosh, that will be twelve years ago," continued Mia. "Such a long time. We"ve covered some ground, haven"t we, Action Man? Hey, Scaley Jase?" Mia squeezed Jason"s leg.
"G.o.d, that was a fantastic break." Jason smiled. He forgot that he was finding Mia irritating. As he wallowed in the memory, he recalled a sweeter girl.
"I hadn"t realized you"d been here before, babe," muttered Tash, turning to Rich.
Rich still didn"t take his eyes off the road. He shrugged. "I"d forgotten I had. I can"t really remember all the resorts I"ve been to now. Not after so many snow seasons."
Jason watched Tash and, from his seat behind her, he could see her shoulders sink. She was silent for the rest of the journey. b.l.o.o.d.y women. Clearly she was disappointed. No doubt she"d have had this idea that they would be discovering somewhere new together. Now she was sulking that Rich hadn"t mentioned that he"d been to Avoriaz before. What did it matter? They were getting married, weren"t they? Women! He didn"t get them. And no matter how many he had, he still wouldn"t get.
Why did Mia choose to be moody and pushy when he knew she could be lovely when she wanted to be? She could be funny, interesting and kind. Kate used to be a laugh and now she was just a faff, forever going on about the National Curriculum and not much else. He really doubted that she ever gave head nowadays. And Tash, who seemed like a really great girl, had suddenly turned sulky and silent just because her boyfriend had visited this holiday resort about a million years ago and forgotten to mention it. Fair enough, Jayne was cute, but experience showed him that he only held this opinion because he barely knew her. Women were good from afar, but far from good up close. Jason had been feeling a bit warm and fuzzy seeing Rich all loved up. He had been playing with the idea of, considering the possibility of, well... maybe... looking for a girl to date steadily. But, no. Once again he was catapulted back on to the bachelor shelf, and he was glad to be there.
17. Arriving.
The resort was a car-free zone. The only traffic was horse-drawn sleighs that merrily jingled bells as though they were in a perpetual wonderland. There were no roads, just snow-covered tracks and lots and lots of timber.
The hotel"s architecture was funky 1960s at its best, organic, free flowing and full of interesting nooks and crannies. There were two restaurants run by the famous chef Christophe Leroy. They were both painted red, creating a womblike effect, warm, cosy and safe. There was a bar, a terrace and a library. There were huge, colourful cushions and footstools scattered liberally throughout. Chopped wood was stacked near the open fireplace, and huge pictures of ripe fruit hung on the wall. All the decor was rich and refined, magnificent and modern, and made complete with heavy shimmering fabrics, wood trims and an indefinable but very distinct air of chic. Simply walking into the reception made it very clear that you were joining an exclusive club.
"Wow, this place is fantastic," smiled Tash. She turned to Rich and landed a large smacker on his lips. He returned her kiss while trying to maintain his grip on their s...o...b..ards and other luggage.
"You like it, my lady?" he asked, smiling, happy that she was happy.
"I love it," she smiled back. "It"s even funkier in real life than the brochures made it appear. It"s easily the best place I"ve ever stayed in."
"You haven"t even seen the bedrooms yet," said Mia. "Just rein in that enthusiasm. The service will undoubtedly be very French."
Tash ignored Mia. Her aura of happiness was impenetrable. The resort and the hotel were better than she could have imagined. The car journey had been h.e.l.l. Mia simply was not a pleasant woman, at least not to Tash. Tash hoped, but doubted, that the French chocolat chaud would warm up Mia. Even if it couldn"t, this was her wedding and no one could spoil it. She was sure of that. The wedding was going to be special.
It was going to be perfect.
Rich started to talk to the receptionist in French. He told her that he and his fiancee had a booking for their wedding later in the week, and he clearly enjoyed the fuss that this declaration caused. Like streamers from a party popper, congratulations flowed. The receptionist confirmed that the suite was waiting for them, as were the complimentary champagne, fruit, chocolates and spa products. When Rich had proposed to Tash, they"d agreed that they wanted a quiet wedding. Rich had insisted that he would not enjoy the fuss and the attention getting married would bring. He"d been wrong. It was true that the whole world loved a lover. And he loved being a lover who was loved. And, well, it was all just lovely.
"We are very "appy to "ave you all "ere," said the receptionist. She flashed a broad smile at the gang. "Pleeze let me know if there is anything ah can do to make your stay more pleasure."
Jason smirked, and whispered under his breath, "Sure will, doll." Rich raised his eyebrows in mock reproach and handed over the key to Jason"s room.
"Do you think she knows that she is the exact replica of every Englishman"s dream of a s.e.xy French woman?" asked Jason.
"Calm down," smiled Tash.
"It"s not my fault. Foreign women"s accents so do it for me," defended Jason. He shook his head apologetically, as if to suggest that he was remorseful that his adolescent desires still ran unfettered; the truth was, he was proud.
"Don"t you like the Queen"s p.r.o.nounced?" asked Jayne, in perfect clipped tones.
Jason grinned, winked and replied, "Yes, posh totty does it for me, too."
"Don"t pay him too much attention," warned Mia. "All women do it for him. He"s on a constant quest to prove himself."
"Do you have a small p.e.n.i.s?" joked Jayne.
Yeeessssss. She was in the bag. Jason grinned. No woman would make that kind of suggestive comment unless they fancied a bit.
"Enormous, thank you."
Everyone knew this to be the case. Whenever he stayed over at his friends" homes he made a point of walking about in his clingy Y-fronts. Besides which, the enormity of his p.e.n.i.s was one of his favourite topics of conversation.
"That"s not the problem. It"s because he"s ugly," sniped Mia, although she regretted it instantly. Why was she being so catty? She didn"t think Jase was ugly. She had just wanted to point out that his looks were far from cla.s.sically handsome, which she suspected was Jayne"s style. Mia had always preferred something less orthodox, and she"d always found Scaley very attractive.
"Sadly, no chance of getting lift pa.s.ses for today," said Rich, turning from the receptionist and interrupting the giggles. "It"s too late, and the lifts will be closing in an hour. Kate, Ted, you"ll have to pay for an upgrade. I booked everyone superior standard rooms, but there weren"t any standard or superior standard rooms spare, so Jayne will have to have yours, while you take something bigger."
Ted studied the discreet leaflet that detailed the prices of the rooms. The next size up was a deluxe. It was an extra 30 euros a night. He shrugged, accepting that he"d have to take the hit because his sister had come on the trip.
"I"m afraid there weren"t any deluxe rooms available either. The only spare room was the junior suite." Ted glanced at the price list. The suites were 80 euros more again. He sighed, and signed the receipt.
"I could always bunk in with you and Tash," grinned Jayne.
Rich ignored her comment.
"Oh, mate, all your fantasies come true," joked Jase.
"Don"t be ridiculous," snapped Rich. "Tash and I are looking for some privacy, actually."
"Well, it would be my idea of nirvana."
"I suggest everyone goes to their rooms and unpacks, then we"ll rendezvous in the bar at, say, six, for sundowners," continued Rich. "Although, I would caution against getting too hammered this evening, not if we want to make the most of the snow tomorrow. Reports forecast a snow dump tonight. We should have several inches of fresh lay to take advantage of first thing in the morning. It would be a crime to miss out because we were nursing hangovers."
"Rendezvous!" shouted Jason, Lloyd, Mia, Kate and Ted in unison.
"Right, Tash, let"s go," instructed Rich, who seemed unnaturally tense and therefore had turned into the very model of a modern major general. What was he talking about, "sundowners" and "rendezvous"? Tash had never heard Rich being so officious. He seemed really stressy. She gave a mental shrug. It was nothing. She knew he just wanted the whole trip to be a success and that it was important to him to keep the show on the road. Someone had to be organized.
Mia was wrong, Tash was right. The rooms didn"t disappoint they were stunning. As Rich pushed open their bedroom door, Tash was enveloped in a world of luxury and elegance.
"My G.o.d, a video and cable, and a hi-fi," she giggled. Rich struggled with their numerous bags and the c.u.mbersome s...o...b..ards and boots.
"Oh my G.o.d. Oh my G.o.d," said Tash, as she jumped up and down on the giant bed. Rich started to put their pa.s.sports and travellers cheques into the safe as Tash dashed around the suite.
"Have you seen in here?" she yelled from the bathroom. "There"s a hot tub." Rich smiled at Tash"s excitement.
"I guess I"ve gotten a little spoilt with travelling with work. I"ve forgotten the excitement of searching through the complimentary soap basket."
This was exactly what Tash was doing at that moment.
"That"s just what Jayne said about airports. How can you become accustomed to such splendour?" she asked, wide-eyed and incredulous.
"Ah, Jayne, yes," Rich called through to the bathroom. "There"s something I need to tell you about Jayne." He should have told her straight away, as soon as Jayne"s name came up. It was just a bit of history, no big deal. He would have mentioned it already only none of the others had a clue either. It was awkward.
Tash bounced (because she"d lost the ability to walk calmly) towards the window and pulled back the blinds to admire the view. "Wow!" they chorused.
The snow was falling quite heavily now. Avoriaz was perched on the top of a sheer cliff that plunged more than a thousand feet into a narrow valley below. It was a ski town quite unlike any other in France. The view, a fascinating mix of eerie and spectacular, was breathtaking. The hotel had large windows from which you caught the view of the Alpine setting of all the Portes du Soleil ski areas.
"Can you see how the form of the buildings echoes the sheer faces of brown slate that they sit on?" asked Tash. "When we were driving in I noticed that, from a distance, the staggered heights of the multi-storey structures, the hotels and apartments, blend perfectly into the topography. They must have designed this place with quite some thought."
Rich stood behind Tash, wrapping his arms around her body and resting his chin on the top of her head. He squeezed her tightly; she made him so proud. It was true, the resort buildings were un.o.btrusive. He"d noticed that, but he hadn"t made the connection between their design and the topography of the mountains. Now that Tash had mentioned it, it was obvious. He loved the things she noticed, the things she said, the way she thought about things. It would surprise Mia, but Rich considered Tash the brightest woman he"d ever met.
"I read about the architect of this hotel. His name"s Jacques Labro. And des Dromonts was the very first building constructed in this style, the style that became the distinct Avoriaz style," added Tash. "That was, like, half a century ago. Isn"t it cool to think that this hotel set the architectural pace for the entire resort?"