The quartermaster advanced to seize the prisoner; but before he reached him he involuntarily stopped short. A roar of laughter sounded in his ears. The American mate and his companions were shrieking and staggering about the deck; even the crew of the slaver were, every man Jack of them, grinning from ear to ear. The lieutenant was dumfounded.
"Excuse me, sir; but the joke was too good," said the Yankee, coming forward and holding out his hand. "I am the first lieutenant of the United States war-ship Georgia, in command of a prize crew on board this vessel, taking her to ---- to have her condemned. We seized her yesterday. Hearing that you had been on a visit to her the day before, and had gone away without doing anything, I couldn"t resist the temptation of taking you in. Hope you don"t bear malice?
Let"s finish that magnum of champagne."
It was evidently the best thing to be done; but the lieutenant was not a first-rate companion on that occasion.
"Give my respects to your commander," called out the United States officer, as his guest went down into his boat, "and advise him from me not to be so jolly particular another time. And I"ll try to take your kind advice and sail a straight course in future!" he cried, as her Majesty"s boat shot away for the last time from the side of The Black Swan.
MELISSA"S TOUR
BY GRANT ALLEN
Lucy looked across the table at me with a face of blank horror.
"O Vernon," she cried, "what are we EVER to do? And an American at that! This is just TOO ghastly!" It"s a habit of Lucy"s, I may remark, to talk italics.
I laid down my coffee-cup, and glanced back at her in surprise.
"Why, what"s up?" I exclaimed, scanning the envelope close. "A letter from Oxford, surely. Mrs. Wade, of Christchurch--I thought I knew the hand. And SHE"s not an American."
"Well, look for yourself!" Lucy cried, and tossed the note to me, pouting. I took it, and read. I"m aware that I have the misfortune to be only a man, but it really didn"t strike me as quite so terrible.
"DEAR MRS. HANc.o.c.k: George has just heard that your husband and you are going for a trip to New York this summer. COULD you manage to do us a VERY GREAT kindness? I hope you won"t mind it. We have an American friend--a Miss Easterbrook, of Kansas City, niece of Professor Asa P. Easterbrook, the well-known Yale geologist--who very much wishes to find an escort across the Atlantic. If you would be so good as to take charge of her, and deliver her safely to Dr. Horace Easterbrook, of Hoboken, on your arrival in the States, you would do a good turn to her, and at the same time confer an eternal favour on "Yours very truly, "EMILY WADE."
Lucy folded her hands in melodramatic despair.
"Kansas City!" she exclaimed, with a shudder of horror. "And Asa P. Easterbrook! A geologist, indeed! That horrid Mrs. Wade! She just did it on purpose!"
"It seems to me," I put in, regarding the letter close, "she did it merely because she was asked to find a chaperon for the girl; and she wrote the very shortest possible note, in a perfunctory way, to the very first acquaintance she chanced to hear of who was going to America."
"Vernon!" my wife exclaimed, with a very decided air, "you men are such simpletons! You credit everybody always with the best and purest motives. But you"re utterly wrong. I can see through that woman. The hateful, hateful wretch! She did it to spite me! Oh, my poor, poor boy; my dear, guileless Bernard!"
Bernard, I may mention, is our oldest son, aged just twenty-four, and a Cambridge graduate. He"s a tutor at King"s, and though he"s a dear good fellow, and a splendid long-stop, I couldn"t myself conscientiously say I regard guilelessness as quite his most marked characteristic.
"What are you doing?" I asked, as Lucy sat down with a resolutely determined air at her writing-table in the corner.
"Doing!" my wife replied, with some asperity her tone. "Why, answering that hateful, detestable woman!"
I glanced over her shoulder, and followed her pen as she wrote:
"MY DEAR MRS. WADE: It was INDEED a delight to us to see your neat little handwriting again. NOTHING would give us greater pleasure, I"m sure, than to take charge of your friend, who, I"m confident, we shall find a most charming companion. Bernard will be with us, so she won"t feel it dull, I trust. We hope to have a very delightful trip, and your happy thought in providing us with a travelling companion will add, no doubt, to all our enjoyment--especially Bernard"s. We both join in very kindest regards to Mr. Wade and yourself, and I am ever
"Yours most cordially,
"LUCY B. HANc.o.c.k."
My wife fastened down the envelope with a very crushing air. "There!
THAT ought to do for her," she said, glancing up at me triumphantly.
"I should think she could see from that, if she"s not as blind as an owl, I"ve observed her atrocious designs upon Bernard, and mean to checkmate them. If, after such a letter, she has the cheek to send us her Yankee girl to chaperon, I shall consider her lost to all sense of shame and all notions of decency. But she won"t, of course. She"ll withdraw her un.o.btrusively." And Lucy flung the peccant sheet that had roused all this wrath on to the back of the fireplace with offended dignity.
She was wrong, however. By next evening"s post a second letter arrived, more discomposing, if possible, to her nerves than the first one.
"Mrs. Lucy B. Hanc.o.c.k, London.
"DEAR MADAM: I learn from my friend, Mrs. Wade, of Oxford College, that you are going to be kind enough to take charge of me across the ocean. I thank you for your courtesy, and will gladly accept your friendly offer. If you will let me know by what steamer you start, I will register my pa.s.sage right away in Liverpool. Also, if you will be good enough to tell me from what depot you leave London, and by what train, I will go along with you in the cars.
I"m unused to travel alone. "Respectfully, "MELISSA P. EASTERBROOK."
Lucy gazed at it in despair. "A creature like that!" she cried, all horror-struck. "Oh, my poor, dear Bernard! "The ocean," she says!
"Go along with you in the cars!" "Melissa P. Easterbrook!""
"Perhaps," I said, tentatively, "she may be better than her name.
And at any rate, Bernard"s not BOUND to marry her!"
Lucy darted at me profound volumes of mute feminine contempt. "The girl"s pretty," she said, at last, after a long, deep pause, during which I had been made to realise to the full my own utter moral and intellectual nothingness. "You may be sure she"s pretty. Mrs.
Wade wouldn"t have foisted her upon us if she wasn"t pretty, but unspeakable. It"s a vile plot on her part to destroy my peace of mind. You won"t believe it, Vernon; but I KNOW that woman. And what does the girl mean by signing herself "Respectfully," I wonder?"
"It"s the American way," I ventured gently to interpose.
"So I gather," my wife answered, with a profound accent of contempt.
To her anything that isn"t done in the purest English way stands ipso facto self-condemned immediately.
A day or two later a second letter arrived from Miss Easterbrook, in reply to one of Lucy"s suggesting a rendezvous. I confess it drew up in my mind a somewhat painful picture. I began to believe my wife"s fears were in some ways well grounded.
"Mrs. Lucy B. Hanc.o.c.k, London [as before].
"DEAR MADAM: I thank you for yours, and will meet you on the day and hour you mention at St. Pancras depot. You will know me when you see me, because I shall wear a dove-coloured dress, with bonnet to match, and a pair of gray spectacles.
"Respectfully,
"MELISSA P. EASTERBROOK."
I laid it down and sighed. "A New England schoolmarm!" I exclaimed, with a groan. "It sounds rather terrible. A dove-coloured dress and a pair of gray spectacles! I fancy I can picture her to myself: a tall and bony person of a certain age, with corkscrew curls, who reads improving books and has views of her own about the fulfilment of prophecy."
But as my spirits went down so Lucy"s went up, like the old man and woman in the cottage weather-gla.s.s. "That looks more promising,"
she said. "The spectacles are good. Perhaps, after all, dear Bernard may escape. I don"t think he"s at all the sort of person to be taken with a dove-coloured bonnet."
For some days after Bernard came home from Cambridge we chaffed a good deal among ourselves about Miss Melissa Easterbrook. Bernard took quite my view about the spectacles and dress. He even drew on an envelope a fancy portrait of Miss Easterbrook, as he said himself, "from doc.u.mentary evidence." It represented a typical schoolmarm of the most virulent order, and was calculated to strike terror into the receptive mind of ingenuous youth on simple inspection.
At last the day came when we were to go to Liverpool. We arrived at St. Pancras in very good time, and looked about on the platform for a tall and hard-faced person of transatlantic aspect, arrayed in a dove-coloured dress and a pair of gray spectacles. But we looked in vain; n.o.body about seemed to answer to the description.
At last Bernard turned to my wife with a curious smile. "I think I"ve spotted her, mother," he said, waving his hand vaguely to the right. "That lady over yonder--by the door of the refreshment-room.
Don"t you see? That must be Melissa." For we knew her only as Melissa already among ourselves; it had been raised to the mild rank of a family witticism.
I looked in the direction he suggested, and paused for certainty.
There, irresolute by the door, and gazing about her timidly with inquiring eyes, stood the prettiest, tiniest, most shrinking little Western girl you ever saw in your life--attired, as she said, in a dove-coloured dress, with bonnet to match, and a pair of gray spectacles. But oh, what a dove-coloured dress! Walter Crane might have designed it--one of those perfect travelling costumes of which the America girl seems to possess a monopoly; and the spectacles--well, the spectacles, though undoubtedly real, added just a touch of piquancy to an otherwise almost painfully timid and retiring little figure.
The moment I set eyes on Melissa Easterbrook, I will candidly admit, I was her captive at once; and even Lucy, as she looked at her, relaxed her face involuntarily into a sympathetic smile. As a rule, Lucy might pose as a perfect model of the British matron in her ampler and maturer years--"calmly terrible," as an American observer once described the genus; but at sight of Melissa she melted without a struggle. "Poor wee little thing, how pretty she is!" she exclaimed, with a start. You will readily admit that was a great deal from Lucy.