THE STORY OF EPAMINONDAS AND HIS AUNTIE[1]
[1] A Southern nonsense tale.
Epaminondas used to go to see his Auntie "most every day, and she nearly always gave him something to take home to his Mammy.
One day she gave him a big piece of cake; nice, yellow, rich gold-cake.
Epaminondas took it in his fist and held it all scrunched up tight, like this, and came along home. By the time he got home there wasn"t anything left but a fistful of crumbs. His Mammy said,--
"What you got there, Epaminondas?"
"Cake, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
"Cake!" said his Mammy. "Epaminondas, you ain"t got the sense you was born with! That"s no way to carry cake. The way to carry cake is to wrap it all up nice in some leaves and put it in your hat, and put your hat on your head, and come along home. You hear me, Epaminondas?"
"Yes, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
Next day Epaminondas went to see his Auntie, and she gave him a pound of b.u.t.ter for his Mammy; fine, fresh, sweet b.u.t.ter.
Epaminondas wrapped it up in leaves and put it in his hat, and put his hat on his head, and came along home. It was a very hot day. Pretty soon the b.u.t.ter began to melt. It melted, and melted, and as it melted it ran down Epaminondas" forehead; then it ran over his face, and in his ears, and down his neck. When he got home, all the b.u.t.ter Epaminondas had was ON HIM. His Mammy looked at him, and then she said,--
"Law"s sake! Epaminondas, what you got in your hat?"
"b.u.t.ter, Mammy," said Epaminondas; "Auntie gave it to me."
"b.u.t.ter!" said his Mammy. "Epaminondas, you ain"t got the sense you was born with! Don"t you know that"s no way to carry b.u.t.ter? The way to carry b.u.t.ter is to wrap it up in some leaves and take it down to the brook, and cool it in the water, and cool it in the water, and cool it in the water, and then take it on your hands, careful, and bring it along home."
"Yes, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
By and by, another day, Epaminondas went to see his Auntie again, and this time she gave him a little new puppy-dog to take home.
Epaminondas put it in some leaves and took it down to the brook; and there he cooled it in the water, and cooled it in the water, and cooled it in the water; then he took it in his hands and came along home. When he got home, the puppy-dog was dead. His Mammy looked at it, and she said,--
"Law"s sake! Epaminondas, what you got there?"
"A puppy-dog, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
"A PUPPY-DOG!" said his Mammy. "My gracious sakes alive, Epaminondas, you ain"t got the sense you was born with! That ain"t the way to carry a puppy-dog! The way to carry a puppy-dog is to take a long piece of string and tie one end of it round the puppy-dog"s neck and put the puppy-dog on the ground, and take hold of the other end of the string and come along home, like this."
"All right, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
Next day, Epaminondas went to see his Auntie again, and when he came to go home she gave him a loaf of bread to carry to his Mammy; a brown, fresh, crusty loaf of bread.
So Epaminondas tied a string around the end of the loaf and took hold of the end of the string and came along home, like this. (Imitate dragging something along the ground.) When he got home his Mammy looked at the thing on the end of the string, and she said,--
"My laws a-ma.s.sy! Epaminondas, what you got on the end of that string?"
"Bread, Mammy," said Epaminondas; "Auntie gave it to me."
"Bread!!!" said his Mammy. "O Epaminondas, Epaminondas, you ain"t got the sense you was born with; you never did have the sense you was born with; you never will have the sense you was born with! Now I ain"t gwine tell you any more ways to bring truck home. And don"t you go see your Auntie, neither. I"ll go see her my own self. But I"ll just tell you one thing, Epaminondas! You see these here six mince pies I done make? You see how I done set "em on the doorstep to cool? Well, now, you hear me, Epaminondas, YOU BE CAREFUL HOW YOU STEP ON THOSE PIES!"
"Yes, Mammy," said Epaminondas.
Then Epaminondas" Mammy put on her bonnet and her shawl and took a basket in her hand and went away to see Auntie. The six mince pies sat cooling in a row on the doorstep.
And then,--and then,--Epaminondas WAS careful how he stepped on those pies!
He stepped (imitate)--right--in--the--middle--of--every--one.
And, do you know, children, n.o.body knows what happened next! The person who told me the story didn"t know; n.o.body knows. But you can guess.
THE BOY WHO CRIED "WOLF!"
There was once a shepherd-boy who kept his flock at a little distance from the village. Once he thought he would play a trick on the villagers and have some fun at their expense. So he ran toward the village crying out, with all his might,--
"Wolf! Wolf! Come and help! The wolves are at my lambs!"
The kind villagers left their work and ran to the field to help him.
But when they got there the boy laughed at them for their pains; there was no wolf there.
Still another day the boy tried the same trick, and the villagers came running to help and got laughed at again. Then one day a wolf did break into the fold and began killing the lambs. In great fright, the boy ran for help. "Wolf! Wolf!" he screamed. "There is a wolf in the flock! Help!"
The villagers heard him, but they thought it was another mean trick; no one paid the least attention, or went near him. And the shepherd-boy lost all his sheep.
That is the kind of thing that happens to people who lie: even when they tell the truth no one believes them.
THE FROG KING
Did you ever hear the old story about the foolish Frogs? The Frogs in a certain swamp decided that they needed a king; they had always got along perfectly well without one, but they suddenly made up their minds that a king they must have. They sent a messenger to Jove and begged him to send a king to rule over them.
Jove saw how stupid they were, and sent a king who could not harm them: he tossed a big log into the middle of the pond.
At the splash the Frogs were terribly frightened, and dove into their holes to hide from King Log. But after a while, when they saw that the king never moved, they got over their fright and went and sat on him.
And as soon as they found he really could not hurt them they began to despise him; and finally they sent another messenger to Jove to ask for a new king.
Jove sent an eel.
The Frogs were much pleased and a good deal frightened when King Eel came wriggling and swimming among them. But as the days went on, and the eel was perfectly harmless, they stopped being afraid; and as soon as they stopped fearing King Eel they stopped respecting him.
Soon they sent a third messenger to Jove, and begged that they might have a better king,--a king who was worth while.
It was too much; Jove was angry at their stupidity at last. "I will give you a king such as you deserve!" he said; and he sent them a Stork.