“If the earth is flat, I would open the window every day
—Gigi Leung (Weather Report)
Being in freshman year in university meant one had to endure one month of military training. Zhang Yuan had tanned considerably. He Luo smiled when she saw his photo. Over the phone, she told him, “You must wear reflective clothes when you are going out at night, otherwise the driver cannot see you. Crossing the road is too dangerous for you.”
The female monitor Zhu Ning Li then got up. “Zhang Yuan isn’t doing enough to reunite our cla.s.s. It’s almost the end. Even though he is a local and also a monitor, he doesn’t bother arranging the outstation students to explore the city. And he never shows us girl a smiling face.”
Glaring at him, Zhu Ning Li sat back down.
He Luo could not imagine Zhang Yuan’s darkened face. How could he not smile? Since when has He Luo ever seen his dark and moody expression?
Her roommate Zhou Xing Yan, the Beijing girl, frowned as she carried two bottles of hot water back to their room. “Hey, He Luo. Didn’t I tell you to lie down and rest? Why are you still sitting there, reading the letter? You read the letter everyday, you read it so much you will ruin the letter someday!” She ransacked her drawer for a VC pill and dissolved it in a gla.s.s of water. “Since you don’t have an appet.i.te, have some vitamin at least. You’ll get better faster.”
Back then, Zhang Yuan told her how, as a child, he used to go to the traders and ask for calcium carbide. When it rained, he would throw them in the drain on the street. He and a group of children would surround the drain excitedly watching the water bubbling from the chemistry reaction.
“This is called having an adventurous spirit.” Zhang Yuan shook his head at her. That radiant expression was still vivid in her memories but in just a blink of an eye, two years have pa.s.sed since.
In the morning, she was forced to wait for a long time in the school nursery. Zhou Xing Yan who was accompanying her was apologetic as she said, “He Luo, the Advanced Maths cla.s.s is about to begin…” As a freshman, she still carried the perception of a high school student that cla.s.ses cannot be skipped.
After finally meeting the doctor and explaining the cause, she was scolded. “It was raining so hard the past two days but you were outside on the phone for half an hour? You’re lucky not to have pneumonia. Were you calling your boyfriend? I know you weren’t calling home. You children never understand the feelings of worried parents and only know how to be affectionate with your boyfriends. You don’t even know how to take care of yourself!”
He Luo had neither the heart nor strength to retort.
“Your voice sounds off.” Zhang Yuan was suspicious. “Why do you sound so stiff? If you’re tired, just take a break and I will call you back later.”
“Exactly. You 600 girls only have one telephone in the entire building. Of course it’ll be more difficult than calling into a radio hotline,” he complained. “The last time I tried an entire afternoon, I dialed the number over and over until my fingers hurt.”
“Just for that, you made yourself sick?” Ye Zhi placed her school bag on the floor and went over to feel He Luo’s forehead. “Aiya, it’s really hot! I’m going to the canteen, do you want any food?”
The oldest roommate Tong Jia came over. “He Luo, you must miss home all that more when ill?”
“Ah, I’m still okay. I’ll get some sleep first.” He Luo turned towards the wall, hiding underneath the net. In an instant, her tears began falling.
Then it was as if the weather turned sultry and she was transported to the time she was preparing for her college entrance exam. He Luo stared at the review materials covering her desk. “Didn’t I already take the exam?”
“There are so many, how can I finish!” When she turned around, she saw that Zhang Yuan was not in the cla.s.sroom. He must be outside playing in the court again. “Come back, there are still so many workbooks undone!” she yelled over the window.
The lights were just turned off and the girls had just settled into their beds, quietly complaining about how the Advanced Maths lecturer skipped 20 pages of content in one go. He Luo stared wide-eyed at the flooring above her, where the wood was so old and cracked she could see scars on it. When Zhou Xing Yan climbed to the bunk above, the bed rattled.
“Is it raining?” He Luo asked.
“Are we being too loud? Did we disturb you?” Ye Zhi asked.
“You seem to be having a nightmare earlier, you kept on muttering something.”
He Luo closed her eyes. Her head was still hurting so much that it felt like it was going to explode. She pressed her palms on her temples and gently rubbed them. Outside the window, the sound of basketball hitting the ground felt especially close, especially clear in the quiet of the night.
“Don’t worry about me,” He Luo said. “You all should rest early, you still have cla.s.s tomorrow.”
He Luo didn’t mention about how she got sick from the rain.
*
“Pick it up and stand!”
“Ah, you’re really heartless! You only come and see me after so many days!” Tian Xin rushed over to He Luo as soon as it was break time. “Is it that you are so busy dating with Cla.s.smate Zhang that you forgot that your sister is still suffering here!”
“Ah, really! Have you gotten better?”
“You’re really [acting] strong,” Tian Xin said. “If my parents know, surely they’ll be crying and rushing over here on the plane.”
“You’ve really suffered.” Tian Xin gave He Luo a quick hug. “Too bad I can’t take care of you. It would be good if Zhang Yuan is here.”
“If I’m him, I would also depressed. He applied for Tsinghua but was two points shy of the pa.s.sing grade,” Tian Xin said. “This guy scored more than 640 for every mock exam, but who knew this year’s exam would be so simple. Everyone has 640, but he himself scored 640. He didn’t have an advantage at all.”
“This guy has always been too arrogant, this is a good lesson for him.”
Due to the week’s coursework, He Luo ended up spending a few days entirely in the study room, only returning to her room when the lights were off. University coursework was completely different from high school’s. The contents of a cla.s.s cannot be understood overnight, especially for Advanced Maths.
If only Zhang Yuan is still here. She remembered the winter that year, that warm and sleepy cla.s.sroom, and the snow-covered platform. He had smiled and told her, “I’ll remember you for the rest of my life.”
Zhang Yuan laughed. “Wherever you apply to, it’ll still be better than this university!”
Two and a half year later, holding the admission letter from the provincial university, what kind of mood would he be in? He Luo dared not guess, her heart felt too heavy.
In the first letter, Zhang Yuan wrote: “Last weekend at home, when I was walking out the door, I had the urge to turn right, go straight, turn right, and then go see you in the street. Here at home it’s already turning cold. Watching the birds flying south in the sky, I think they’re happier than I am.”
In the third letter, Zhang Yuan wrote: “I have tried email a few times but ultimately I think I don’t like it. Like a letter, I cannot hear your voice. At least it’s warmer to receive a physical letter in my hand. I’ve never written letters before but now I’m constantly contributing to our country’s postal system. It’s incredibly embarra.s.sing to stand with a bunch of young girls to buy stationery. Next time, you choose a pack of your favorite stationery and give it to me.”
“You are finished this time, He Luo!” Ye Zhi winked, looking sympathetic. “You poor Cinderella, from now on you’ll have to help us, your sisters, with our laundry.”
“Ah? What kidnapping? Are you talking about the case in Malaysia?” Tong Jia who had just returned from washing her hair asked, puzzled.
“What are you saying?” He Luo asked, confused.
“Ah, give it back!” He Luo sprang up.
“Give it back, give it back!” He Luo jumped. Without even taking off her shoes, she climbed on the stairs.
“But I’m the oldest?” Tong Jia giggled. “It’s fine, just give me the lion’s share of the ransom later.”
“Okay, okay.” Ye Zhi pa.s.sed the letters over. “You look like you want to cry.”
The letter was exceptionally thin and made He Luo doubt if there was really any content. He Luo turned it over in her hand a few times. There was a cross drawn in blue pen on the back, it really was Zhang Yuan’s letter. To keep the thin letter flat, she took out a knife she bought especially for such occasions. It was a silver knife, like a little sword.
“Ah!” A surprised He Luo grabbed her small box of coins and ran out of the room.
“Please, I need to make a call! Open the door for me later,” He Luo replied. “Tell the warden that I went out for a run and came back a little late…” The second half of her sentence was already floating from the corridor.
*
“I can rush to the leader’s office in 10 minutes,” Zhang Yuan replied. “Who told him to make me tidy up his files?”
Zhang Yuan snickered, a little innocently embarra.s.sed. “What did I write? It’s okay to just read them. Don’t read them out loud, you’ll cringe from the cheesiness.”
“Hey, why is there a cross in the last letter?” she asked.
“There is. What do you mean by that?”
“Ah, that’s why.” He Luo felt a little disappointed. “I thought…”
“What did you think it was?”
“What song? There are so many songs, which can I think about?” he laughed. “Right Here Waiting?”
“What are you thinking in that little mind of yours?” Zhang Yuan paused. “When you come back, take the initiative.”
Hearing her shy voice, it was as if a water lotus blossomed in that windy, cold night.
[artwork by Adams Carvalho]