Which left her completely speechless.
Gus and Daniel gave Vix a belated birthday present, a jigsaw puzzle, "Seeing Red," five hundred pieces all in one solid color. They bet Sharkey twenty bucks she wouldn"t be able to finish it in a week.
"What"s in it for her?" Caitlin asked. "Why should she bust her a.s.s for any of you?"
"What are you, her agent?" Daniel said.
"That"s right," Caitlin told him, "I"m her agent."
"Okay a" Daniel said. "She gets twenty if she makes it, which means we"re laying out forty. Are you and Sharkey going to match us if she doesn"t?"
Caitlin nodded at Sharkey, who looked at Vix for confirmation. She gave him a thumbs-up. "You"re on," Sharkey told the Chicago Boys.
For two nights the four of them pulled chairs up to the card table and watched Vix, as if she were Bobby Fischer. But with everyone staring she couldn"t concentrate. She made almost no progress. Daniel and Gus eyed each other smugly. Vix was determined to prove them wrong. She rose at sunrise the next day and for two days after that. The others would find her there when they came down to breakfast, studying the pieces, locking together the edges, constructing separate sections, until the end of the sixth day, when she knew she had it.
She let them watch that night, enjoying every step toward victory, and when she placed the final pieces Sharkey pumped his fist in the air and cried, "Yes!" He lifted her out of her chair and before she could stop him, swung her around. She was totally amazed. But when she smiled down at him he released her without a word, collected his share of the winnings, and disappeared. Gus and Daniel hung around to help the girls celebrate.
"How about a consolation prize?" Gus said.
"What did you have in mind?" Caitlin asked.
He smiled and looked her over. "Whatever you"re willing to give."
"You wish!" She threw the empty puzzle box at him. He and Daniel laughed and went off together.
11.
VIX WONDERED if Abby ever guessed how she fantasized about being her daughter, how she dreamed of being beautiful and rich and living in the big house in Cambridge, not that she"d ever seen it, but she"d seen pictures. Just weeks earlier, on the night of Vix"s fourteenth birthday, when she and Caitlin had dressed up for dinner at The Black Dog, Abby had said, "You both look so pretty. You remind me of how much I"ve always wanted a daughter."
"Don"t get any ideas," Caitlin had told her. "We already have mothers."
Vix could see the hurt in Abby"s eyes, hear it in her voice. "I only meant a" Abby started to say, but then she looked away and never finished.
Vix asked Caitlin once if she didn"t miss Sharkey and Lamb during the school year, if she didn"t want to live in Cambridge, too.
"I miss them," Caitlin answered. "But Phoebe needs me, to prove she"s not a failure as a mother."
Vix thought of Phoebe"s postcards. Last summer there had been just one, from Tuscany.
Dear Ones,
Hope your having a grand summer, as always.
I"m about to leave for a few days in Venice.
See you soon!
All my love,
Phoebe
The card was addressed to Caitlin and Sharkey Somers. One card for two kids. One card every summer. Sharkey dismissed it as fast as he"d read it, telling Caitlin she could add it to her collection. Caitlin stuck it in her bottom dresser drawer with all the others. Phoebe had misspelled you"re.
Vix didn"t understand why Lamb and Phoebe had divvied up the kids when they"d divorced. "I was only two when they split up," Caitlin told her. "I didn"t have a lot to say about it then."
What about now? Vix wondered, almost certain she knew the answer. You weren"t always born to the right parents. And parents didn"t necessarily get the kids they were meant to raise.
When Vix found out Tawny was coming to the island she grew sick with fear, sure Tawny had somehow found out about her fantasies and was on her way to fight for her rights as a mother. She imagined a raging court battle like the one over Gloria Vanderbilt in the book she was reading, Little Gloria, Happy at Last.
"I knew Lamb and the Countess were old friends," Abby said to Vix as they worked side by side in the garden, "but I had no idea your mother was her amanuensis." Whenever Caitlin went sailing, Vix spent her time with Abby. In the garden Abby wore a coolie hat, a long-sleeved white shirt, drawstring pants, gloves, and red vinyl clogs she"d ordered from some gardening catalog.
If Lamb and the Countess were old friends how come no one had ever told her? And what was an amanuensis? It sounded s.e.xual.
Abby pulled up a lady"s-mantle, mistaking it for a weed. "I can"t believe I did that," she said, holding it tenderly, as if it were a pet. In her garden, unlike in real life, Abby"s enemies could be identified and destroyed. j.a.panese beetles were collected in bags hanging from trees, slugs were lured into saucers of beer, and mites were sprayed with a solution of soapy water. A picket fence, lined with chicken wire, helped to keep out rabbits. "I know they"re adorable," Abby would tell her guests, "but just one little bunny can destroy your garden overnight."
The deer were another story. To keep them away, Abby tied bars of Irish Spring soap to the fence posts. When that didn"t work she scattered dried blood. Last summer Vix had seen a deer tear through the woods, leap into the pond, and swim all the way across. When he got there, he looked around as if he"d made a mistake, then turned and swam back, disappearing into the woods. Vix wondered if he had a family, if he was running away but changed his mind at the last minute.
"When your mother gets here maybe we can sit down together and talk about school," Abby said. She"d given up on the lady"s-mantle and was deadheading the fairy roses.
What did she mean, school?
"Lamb and I have been wondering if you"d like to go to Mountain Day with Caitlin?"
"Mountain Day is a private school."
"Suppose you had a scholarship?"
"A scholarship?"
"Of course high school is just the beginning," Abby told her. "Have you thought about college yet?"
No one in her family had ever gone to college. She was hoping for UNM, though Tawny wanted her to become a medical technician. Healthcare, Victoria. That"s where the jobs are going to be. Listen to me. I know what I"m talking about.
"I know it seems far off," Abby continued, "but actually it"s right around the corner. You"ve got to start planning now. Maybe we can talk about the big picture when your mother gets here."
Vix kept weeding the same patch even after all the weeds were pulled. Was Abby having fantasies, too? She began to feel sweat trickle down inside her bra, a new kind of wetness that could spring from her pores in an instant, without warning, releasing a pungent odor, even if she"d just showered. She hated the unpredictability of her body. She hated being fourteen. It felt like a punishment. She just didn"t know for what.
"I"m not making you uncomfortable, am I?" Abby asked.
"No," Vix said, too quickly, swiping her face with her arm, trying to get a whiff of her underarms. "It"s just that a"
"I understand completely," Abby said.
"You do?"
"Of course."
As much as she dreaded the idea of Tawny invading her s.p.a.ce, Vix was relieved to find that the visit had nothing to do with Abby. She"d come because the Countess could no longer travel on her own and the Countess had too many friends in too many places to sit at home brooding over her emphysema and failing eyesight.
Fortunately, the Countess kept Tawny busy. Everyone on the island wanted a piece of her. How did all these rich people know one another? Was there some sort of club? Vix decided the Countess"s popularity had to do with the fantastic stories she tolda"stories about running away to join the circus at sixteen, winding up in Paris at eighteen, finding herself stranded with the Count in a stalled elevator at some hotel called George Sank, marrying him a week later. Even though the marriage didn"t last more than six months she came out with gobs of money, or maybe she had money all the time.
Vix, trying to picture the Countess atop an elephant under the big top, once asked her mother if the Countess"s stories were true. "All I know is what I"m told," Tawny had replied, which was no answer at all. When Vix had balked she"d added, "I don"t ask questions, Victoria. That"s why I"m still employed."
With her pixie haircut, outlandish outfits, and infectious laugh, the Countess was still in center ring. She was never boring. She was definitely not ordinary. On the last full day of her whirlwind visit, the Countess gave Tawny the afternoon off to spend with Vix, who couldn"t remember an hour, let alone an afternoon, she"d been alone with her mother, and the idea frightened her.
They drove up island in the red convertible rental car, all the way to the scenic overlook at Gay Head, and when Tawny peered through the telescopea"a dime for each minutea"and saw the colors in the cliffs below, she said, "But this is just like New Mexico!"
"Except there are no crashing waves in New Mexico," Vix reminded her mother. "There"s hardly any water at all."
"Yes, but we have mountains," Tawny said. She didn"t sound angry, the way she usually did if Vix disagreed with her. She didn"t call her impossible or irritating or even immature.
They ate lunch outside, overlooking the ocean, with the wind blowing their hair and the sun in Vix"s eyes. Tawny ordered fried clams and drank a beer she"d brought with her. "I can see why you like it here, Victoria," she said. "It has a magic quality a something I haven"t felt since I first got to Santa Fe." She let out a deep sigh. "But that was so long ago a"
Vix could not believe how different Tawny seemed away from home.
"Things change a things happen a things you can"t even imagine when you"re young and full of hope." Tawny gazed out over the ocean. "I always thought I"d travel, see the world, but this a" she said, looking back at Vix and rapping her knuckles on the table, "is as far away as I"ve ever been."
Was this stranger swigging beer out of a bottle, this stranger who suggested they kick off their shoes and walk along at the ocean"s edge so she could say she"d not only seen the Atlantic, she"d dipped her toes in it, really her mother?
Tawny ALL RIGHT, she admits it, just for a minute this afternoon, she"d envied Victoria her freedom, even her youth. She"s glad the Countess convinced her to come here. She hasn"t felt so relaxed since a she can"t remember when. The anger she carries around with her most days, that extra weight on her shoulders, has lifted since she"s been on this island. Yes, she feels more like herself. Her old self. Too bad Ed can"t see her laughing and talking as if she doesn"t have a care in the world.
She just wishes Victoria wouldn"t look at her that way. The same way she"d looked at her mother, sizing up the situation, trying to figure out Darlene"s mood. That Abby is a lucky woman! Lamb is an attractive man, and well-to-do. How long since she"s allowed herself to feel attracted to a man other than Ed? She can"t remember that either. She"s going to fix herself up for dinner at their house tonight. She"ll wear her new white shirt, cinch her belt a little tighter, use the lipstick that came free with her sunblock. She"s still a woman. She still has feelings and desires.
12.
THE COUNTESS addressed Lamb as Dear Boy. "Dear Boy, it"s been far too long!" she said, kissing him on the lips. He called her Charlotte. Vix had never thought of the Countess as having a regular name.
Drinks were set up on the porch. The Countess belted down two vodka and tonics. When she lit up, Abby didn"t say a word, even though no one was allowed to smoke in the house. When she began to cough, Lamb and Abby looked concerned. But it wasn"t until the coughing racked her body, leaving her gasping, that Vix was convinced she was going to keel over and die. Abby probably thought the same thing because she jumped up and grabbed the phone, ready to dial 911. But Tawny remained calm, waving them away, administering medication to the Countess.
After, the Countess laughed, which almost sent her into a second attack. "When my time comes, scatter my ashes in the mountains, have a drink, tell yourselves *She lived well a she had a few laughs." No religious mumbo jumbo for me, Dear Boy. Remember that. Tawny has my instructions."
A few minutes later the Countess decided she"d like to take a walk. But when Tawny started to get up she said, "Lamb will escort me. You stay here with Abby." Then she beckoned to Vix. "Victoria, come with us."
You didn"t argue with the Countess. Vix did as she was told.
Lamb A VISION POPS into his head. He"s four or five and he barges into the bathroom to get his tugboat because his nurse is going to give him a bath in the kitchen sink. He"s startled to find someone soaking in his tub, the tub where he and Dorset are usually bathed. He remembers too late he"s supposed to knock when the bathroom door is closed. Grandmother will scold him for forgetting. But the lady in the tub doesn"t mind. She"s smiling. He knows her namea"Charlotte, like his favorite treat from the bakery. She takes a puff on her cigarette. Precious child a she says, and her voice is as warm and soft as his blanky. Would you like to come in with me? He takes off his underpants because you"re supposed to get naked before you get in the tub. She holds his hand as he steps over the edge and sits opposite her. He offers her his tugboat. Thank you, she says and she makes it swoosh through the water. This is what it would be like to have a real mother, he thinks, someone who likes to play in the tub. Someone with a laugh that bubbles up like the ginger ale Nurse brings him when he has a tummy ache.
She takes a sip from the gla.s.s that"s resting on the floor. Want some? she asks. It tastes like grape juice. He knows it"s not grape juice. It"s something grownups drink. No thank you, he tells her.
Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s bob up and down in the water. He reaches out to touch them, looking into her eyes for approval, wondering if she"ll slap his hands like Nurse. But no, she laughs. I have a good pair, don"t I?
He chokes up for a minute, thinking about her. She must have been in her twenties then. A young woman with long chestnut hair pinned on top of her head. His mother"s best friend. She gave him a photo alb.u.m filled with pictures of the two of them. Charlotte and Amanda. Summer friends like Caitlin and Vix. It"s a shock to think his mother would be her age now.
OUTSIDE, the Countess lit up again, took a few puffs, then flicked the b.u.t.t into the woods, where it sparked. Lamb raced after it and stomped it out before it could catch fire. "That"s a dangerous thing to do, Charlotte, especially this time of year, with everything so dry."
"I"ve always lived dangerously, Dear Boy."
"Now, Charlotte a as much as I like you, I can"t let you burn down the island. There are laws a"
"Oh, f.u.c.k the laws a f.u.c.k the island!" She took Vix"s hand, raised it to her lips, and kissed it twice. "Remember this, Precious Child a nothing matters but the moment. There might be no tomorrow and even if there is, n.o.body gives a d.a.m.n."
Vix didn"t have a clue what she was talking about. Or if she was waiting for her hand to be kissed. Vix hoped not. She was relieved when the Countess laughed and headed back to the house, where she asked for another vodka and tonic.
This time Tawny put a hand on her arm. "Tawny is my savior," the Countess said. "I don"t know where I"d be without her. If only she didn"t have that family. Such a burden. Such an albatross. Why anyone has children when they could have dogs is beyond me." Sweetie raised her head and yawned as if she understood perfectly.
Vix was miffed. Two minutes ago she"d been Precious Child, now she was a burden, an albatross around her mother"s neck.
"You get everything from a dog you"d get from a child," the Countess continued, "plus total acceptance, absolute grat.i.tude. I"ve never met a grateful child, have you?"