Don and Carl played exclusively with her and had ever since she moved in.
That didnt hurt her feelings in the least. She still felt a little guilty that the guys wouldnt let her reciprocate with them in terms of o.r.g.a.s.ms, but they a.s.sured her thats the way they wanted it for now.
They also rea.s.sured her that if, once her divorce was final, she wanted more, they would be there, patiently waiting for her to instigate that discussion.
But both men were adamant that they wanted her to be able to make whatever decision she did with a clear mind and a clear conscience.
Don and Carl were out in the backyard doing yard work. Shed been dealing with a couple of work emergencies via her laptop when the doorbell rang.
She was shocked to find Mike standing there when she answered the door.
What are you doing here? she asked.
Can I come in and talk to you?
Shed almost hoped, early on, that Mike would see the divorce papers, panic, and swear to change. Then follow up on the promises with real change.
Shed known that was unrealistic and borderline crazy thinking, but shed hoped hed think she was worth trying to fight for.
The longer hed gone without a personal response, the more she realized the sad reality, that he really, honestly didnt give a s.h.i.t. That hed hired an attorney and didnt fight the divorce only confirmed it.
And since shed moved out, he hadnt even bothered to call her, to check up on her. Hed never even replied to the texts shed sent about the utility payments being due, so she stopped sending them.
Talk to me why? About what?
He held up a sheaf of papers. About all of this, Amy. Come on, are you seriously going to go through with this nonsense? Ive put up with it about as long as anyone should reasonably be expected to.
She blinked, staring at him, positive this had to be a practical joke, and a really bad one. So much so she had to fight not to take a step out and look for hidden cameras.
Shed forgotten how much she hated it when he called her Amy.
Uh, what? she asked when she realized he was standing there, awaiting a response.
He shook the papers at her. I had to waste money getting an attorney, okay, Amy? So did you. Lets stop this before we f.u.c.k up our finances and credit ratings. Just come home, and Ill forget all about this. Now listen to me. Youve had several months to get whatever this is out of your system, and"
Mel, you okay?
She jumped at the sound of Dons voice.
Correction, it was Don and Carl standing there behind her, both of them shirtless and sweaty and looking, especially compared to Mike Yum!
Um, guys, this is Mike.
Your ex? Carl asked.
Im Amys husband! he said, sounding uncharacteristically shrill. Eds early warnings to her about Mike being in denial returned to mind.
Don snorted. Dude, not for much longer.
Is this what you really want? Mike screeched waving the papers at her.
h.e.l.l, he hadnt shown this much emotion over the last several games the Bucs had lost, and those usually got him pretty riled up.
Don and Carl are my roommates, she said. I dont understand why you care. You didnt give a s.h.i.t about me when I was with you and begging you to spend time with me. h.e.l.l, I couldnt get you to have s.e.x with me to save my life! You havent even bothered to text me to see if Im okay. You handled everything through your attorney. Why even pretend you care?
His eyes widened. So you decided to leave me so you could just s.l.u.t arou"
Hey! Whoa! both men said, stepping forward and protectively pulling her behind them, crowding in front of Mike and forcing him back a step.
Don leaned in and jabbed a finger in Mikes face. Shes our friend, a.s.shole. She hasnt even dated anyone, okay?
Technically the truth, although she suspected getting into the intricacies of o.r.g.a.s.m play not technically being s.e.x probably wouldnt go over so well with Mike.
Carl also leaned in. And you need to f.u.c.king treat her with respect. Then again, had you been doing that, you wouldnt be standing here now, would you?
Mike looked at the two men, then caught her gaze where she was standing behind Don and Carl. Thats it, Amy, he said. You want a f.u.c.king divorce? Youve got one. Just wait until I tell everyone you were reading those trashy books, and now youre living with not just one guy, but two!
He turned and stormed down the walk toward where his car was parked on the street.
Don watched him go. So thats the tool you left, huh?
Real charmer, Carl drawled. Cant imagine why you werent blissfully happy.
Tell me about it. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched Mike peel out. Guess I can kiss my friends and family good-bye once he finishes with them.
Can I ask you a dumb question? Carl said.
Yeah.
He turned to her. Who the h.e.l.l is Amy?
After a very brief and terse conversation with her mom"whod already heard from Mike several weeks ago, Mel hung up and fought the urge to throw her cell phone into the pool.
She thinks Im dumb to divorce Mike, she said. Hes already painted himself to be a victim. She had been working up to the truth with her parents. Shed told them she was separating from him and likely would divorce him, but hadnt told them when the final hearing was.
Expect him to double-down when he gets hold of her again, Don warned.
You might want to call Ed and give him a heads-up, Carl suggested. He might say let it go, or he might have advice.
I hate to bug him on the weekend.
Its what youre paying for, Don said.
True. She called him, but he wasnt worried.
Remember how I mentioned at our first consult that it sounded like he was in denial?
Yeah?
Hes not in denial anymore, obviously. This was the smack in the face that most people usually feel when they are actually served divorce papers.
Youre kidding, right? I mean, moving out and changing bank accounts and hiring attorneys and all that wasnt enough?
Some people are clueless. Ive seen worse, believe me. Like you said, he was very apathetic. He had likely convinced himself this wasnt a permanent thing. That he was going to talk to you, you were going to return home, and life would slide back into its normal rut. You just forcibly jacked him out of his rut by dumping a load of killer bees down his pants.
Dont give me ideas, she muttered.
That was a metaphor, not a suggestion.
I like killer bees better as a suggestion.
Try to relax. Nothing, legally, has changed. Call anyone you think he might contact and get ahead of it, if you feel you have to. Tell people hes p.i.s.sed off that you left him after years of him neglecting you, and now that he realizes its going to cost him, hes p.i.s.sed off and spreading lies about you.
Technically, most of it isnt lies. Its just the context looks horrible.
They wont know that. But if you do want to try to save those friendships, call them. Now. Because h.e.l.l likely be busy going through his contact list.
Thanks. She hung up.
Killer bees? Don asked. Do I even want to know?
She related the conversation to them.
I like killer bees better as a suggestion, too, Carl said.
So did Tilly, who went ballistic that night at the club when Mel told her friend about it.
That f.u.c.ker! Tilly said. Lets go pay that little t.u.r.dbucket a visit right now. Im in a mood. She started to rise.
Youre always in a mood, my vicious little Redbird, her husband, Landry, said after placing a staying hand on her shoulder. And no one is paying anyone a visit. Eds right. The man was finally forced to deal with reality. It sounds like hes skated through most of his adult life without having to do that. This has no bearing on the outcome of their divorce case.
Tilly stuck her tongue out at Landry. Youre no fun, she said. Killer bees is a lovely s.a.d.i.s.tic way to extract a little payback.
Sticks and stones, Landry reminded her. Anyone who is lazy enough to believe his lies about Mel without asking her about them isnt someone worth the dirt on her shoes.
Tilly huffed. d.a.m.n Dom logic, anyway.
It took Don and Carl coaxing Mel into a bondage scene to get her mind off her problems. They tied an intricate rope harness around her on some MMA mats on the floor, then used a Hitachi on her while lightly caning her to empty her head and fill her with o.r.g.a.s.ms.
By the time they were all ready to leave around midnight, Mel could barely remember her soon-to-be exs name, much less their earlier exchange.
Yes, she felt a little guilty that she got to have all the fun while Carl and Don didnt get a d.a.m.n thing out of it, but they a.s.sured her that they were perfectly content with the arrangement for now.
At least she slept well that night.
And, the next night, after dinner, she talked them into a little over-the-knee, barehanded spanking on the couch before they sent her to bed.
Shed admit to needing her vibrator to finally get to sleep after that, though. Too much spinning through her head about tomorrows hearing for her to relax.
But the o.r.g.a.s.m tipped her over the edge and finally allowed her to sleep.
The next morning, the men were getting ready to go to work. One of us can call in sick if you need us to go with you, Don a.s.sured her. Seriously.
No, Ill be okay. Ill have Ed. What am I paying him for if hes not my attack dog?
True, Carl said. He can be pretty vicious, or so Ive heard. Dont let his harmless looks fool you.
Shed dressed conservatively, in black slacks, a b.u.t.ton-up blouse, a black blazer, and flats.
h.e.l.l, she looked like she was going to a funeral.
Then again, in a way that was exactly what this was, wasnt it? The death of a marriage, being formalized?
Maybe, just maybe, had Mike pitched that level of hissy fit early on when she first left, she might have considered going back to him.
But not now, in the final moments when she was almost free of him and had a d.a.m.n good idea of what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.
After hugging the men good-bye, she got in her car and headed for Eds office.
Don turned to Carl. You thinking what Im thinking?
That killer bees were a d.a.m.n good idea, Brain? Carl asked.
No, Pinky. That maybe after she gets through today, we might finally be able to have a chance with her.
Personally, Don had also wanted to wait for her divorce to go through, even before Carl had said it that day they showed her the house. Hed made the mistake"once"of getting involved with a woman in the middle of a divorce.
Not only had she ended up going back to her husband, hed almost gotten beaten up for it.
He liked being able to look someone in the eye and honestly tell them no, he had not had s.e.x with their wife. And Carl had agreed with him.
But Mike the tool proved Mel hadnt been exaggerating when shed talked about him and his apathy.
That he waited until the weekend before their final hearing to finally approach her showed how little he truly cared for anything or anyone but himself.
Maybe they could have been sleeping with her all this time, but Don wouldnt regret waiting.
It would make it that much better if and when they did it.