"Thanks," Malone said sadly.
"You just keep me posted from time to time on what you"re doing, and what ideas you get," Burris said. "I"m leaving the whole thing in your hands, Malone, and I"m sure you won"t disappoint me."
"I"ll try," Malone said.
"I know you will," Burris said warmly. "And no matter how long it takes, I know you"ll succeed."
"No matter how long it takes?" Malone said hesitantly.
"That"s right!" Burris said. "You can do it, Malone! You can do it."
Malone nodded slowly. "I hope so," he said. "Well, I--Well, I"ll start out right away, then."
He turned. Before he could make another move Burris said, "Wait!"
Malone turned again, hope in his eyes. "Yes, sir?" he said.
"When you leave--" Burris began, and the hope disappeared. "When you leave," he went on, "please do one little favor for me. Just one little favor, because I"m an old, tired man and I"m not used to things any more."
"Sure," Malone said. "Anything, Chief."
"Don"t call me--"
"Sorry," Malone said.
Burris breathed heavily. "When you leave," he said, "please, please use the door."
"But--"
"Malone," Burris said, "I"ve tried. I"ve really tried. Believe me.
I"ve tried to get used to the fact that you can teleport. But--"
"It"s useful," Malone said, "in my work."
"I can see that," Burris said. "And I don"t want you to, well, to stop doing it. By no means. It"s just that it sort of unnerves me, if you see what I mean. No matter how useful it is for the FBI to have an agent who can go instantaneously from one place to another, it unnerves me." He sighed. "I can"t get used to seeing you disappear like an overdried soap bubble, Malone. It does something to me, here."
He placed a hand directly over his sternum and sighed again.
"I can understand that," Malone said. "It unnerved me, too, the first time I saw it. I thought I was going crazy, when that kid--Mike Fueyo--winked out like a light. But then we got him, and some FBI agents besides me have learned the trick." He stopped there, wondering if he"d been tactful. After all, it took a latent ability to learn teleportation, and some people had it, while others didn"t. Malone, along with a few other agents, did. Burris evidently didn"t, so he couldn"t teleport, no matter how hard he tried or how many lessons he took.
"Well," Burris said, "I"m still unnerved. So please, Malone, when you come in here, or go out, use the door. All right?"
"Yes, sir," Malone said. He turned and went out. As he opened the door, he could almost hear Burris" sigh of relief. Then he banged it shut behind him and, feeling that he might as well continue with his s.p.a.cebound existence, walked all the way to the elevator, and rode it downstairs to the FBI laboratories.
The labs, highly efficient and divided into dozens of departments, covered several floors. Malone pa.s.sed through the Fingerprint section, filled with technicians doing strange things to great charts and slides, and frowning over tiny pieces of material and photographs.
Then came Forgery Detection, involving many more technicians, many more slides and charts and tiny pieces of things and photographs, and even a witness or two sitting on the white bench at one side and looking lost and somehow civilian. Identification Cla.s.sified was next, a great barn of a room filled with index files. The real indexes were in the sub-bas.e.m.e.nt; here, on microfilm, were only the basic divisions. A man was standing in front of one of the files, frowning at it. Malone went on by without stopping.
Cosmetic Surgery Cla.s.sification came next. Here there were more indexes, and there were also charts and slides. There was an agent sitting on a bench looking bored while two female technicians-- cla.s.sified as O&U for Old and Ugly in Malone"s mind--fluttered around him, deciding what disguises were possible, and which of those was indicated for the particular job on hand. Malone waved to the agent, whom he knew very slightly, and went on. He felt vaguely regretful that the FBI couldn"t hire prettier girls for Cosmetic Surgery, but the trouble was that pretty girls fell for the Agents, and vice versa, and this led to an unfortunate tendency toward only handsome and virile-looking disguises. The O&U division was unfortunate, he decided, but a necessity.
Chemical a.n.a.lysis (III) was next. The Chemical a.n.a.lysis Section was scattered over several floors, with the first stages up above.
Division III, Malone remembered, was devoted to nonpoisonous substances, like clay or sand found in boots or trouser cuffs, cigar ashes and such. They were placed on the same floor as Fingerprints to allow free and frequent pa.s.sage between the sections on the problems of plastic prints, made in putty or like substances, and visible prints, made when the hand is covered with a visible substance like blood, ketchup or glue.
Malone found what he was looking for at the very end of the floor. It was the Computer Section, a large room filled with humming, clacking and buzzing machines of an ancient vintage, muttering to themselves as they worked, and newer machines which were smaller and more silent.
Lights were lighting and bells were ringing softly, relays were relaying and the whole room was a gigantic maze of calculating and control machines. What s.p.a.ce wasn"t filled by the machines themselves was filled by workbenches, all littered with an a.s.sortment of gears, tubes, spare relays, transistors, wires, rods, bolts, resistors and all the other paraphernalia used in building the machines and repairing them. Beyond the basic room were other, smaller rooms, each a.s.signed to a particular kind of computer work.
The narrow aisles were choked here and there with men who looked up as Malone pa.s.sed by, but most of them gave him one quick glance and went back to work. A few didn"t even do that, but went right on concentrating on their jobs. Malone headed for a man working all alone in front of a workbench, frowning down at a complicated-looking mechanism that seemed to have neither head nor tail, and prodding at it with a long, thin screwdriver. The man was thin, too, but not very long; he was a little under average height, and he had straight black hair, thick-lensed gla.s.ses and a studious expression, even when he was frowning. He looked as if the mechanism were a student who had cut too many cla.s.ses, and he was being kind but firm with it.
Malone managed to get to the man"s side, and coughed discreetly. There was no response.
"Fred?" he said.
The screwdriver waggled a little. Malone wasn"t quite sure that the man was breathing.
"Fred Mitch.e.l.l," he said.
Mitch.e.l.l didn"t look up. Another second pa.s.sed.
"Hey," Malone said. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Fred," he said in a loud, reasonable-sounding voice, "the State Department"s translator has started to talk pig-Latin."
Mitch.e.l.l straightened up as if somebody had jabbed him with a pin. The screwdriver waved wildly in the air for a second, and then pointed at Malone. "That"s impossible," Mitch.e.l.l said in a flat, precise voice.
"Simply impossible. It doesn"t have a pig-Latin circuit. It can"t possibly--" He blinked and seemed to see Malone for the first time.
"Oh," he said. "h.e.l.lo, Malone. What can I do for you?"
Malone smiled, feeling a little victorious at having got through the Mitch.e.l.l armor, which was almost impregnable when there was a job in hand. "I"ve been standing here talking to you for some time."
"Oh, have you?" Mitch.e.l.l said. "I was busy." That, obviously, explained that. Malone shrugged.
"I want you to help me check over some calculators, Fred," he said.
"We"ve had some reports that some of the government machines are out of kilter, and I"d like you to go over them for me."
"Out of kilter?" Fred Mitch.e.l.l said. "No, you can forget about it.
It"s absolutely unnecessary to make a check, believe me. Absolutely.
Forget it." He smiled suddenly. "I suppose it"s some kind of a joke, isn"t it?" he said, just a trifle uncertainly. Fred Mitch.e.l.l"s world, while pleasant, did not include much humor, Malone knew. "It"s supposed to be funny," he said in the same flat, precise voice.
"It isn"t funny," Malone said.
Fred sighed. "Then they"re obviously lying," he said, "and that"s all there is to it. Why bother me with it?"
"Lying, Fred?" Malone said.
"Certainly," Fred said. He looked at the machinery with longing.
Malone took a breath. "How do you know?" he said.
Fred sighed. "It"s perfectly obvious," he said in a patient tone.
"Since the State Department translator has no pig-Latin circuit, it can"t possibly be talking pig-Latin. I will admit that such a circuit would be relatively easy to build, though it would have no utility as far as I can see. Except, of course, for a joke." He paused. "Joke?"
he said, in a slightly uneasy tone.
"Sure," Malone said. "Joke."