But, for the life of him, he couldn"t figure out just what it was.
After all, what could be anybody"s purpose in goofing up a bunch of calculators the way they had? Of course, the whole thing could be a series of accidents, but the series was a pretty long one, and made Malone suspicious to start with. It was easier to a.s.sume that the goof-ups were being done deliberately.
Unfortunately, they didn"t make much sense as sabotage, either.
Senator Deeds, for instance, had sent out a ten-thousand-copy form letter to his const.i.tuents, blasting an Administration power bill in extremely strong language, and asking for some comments on the Deeds-Hartshorn Air Ownership Bill, a pending piece of legislation that provided for private, personal ownership, based on land t.i.tle, to the upper stratosphere, with a strong hint that rights of pa.s.sage no longer applied without some recompense to the owner of the air.
Naturally, Deeds had filed the original with a computer-secretary to turn out ten thousand duplicate copies, and the machine had done so, folding the copies, slipping them into addressed envelopes and sending them out under the Senator"s franking stamp.
The addresses on the envelopes, however, had not been those of the Senator"s supporters. The letter had been sent to ten thousand stockholders in major airline companies, and the Senator"s head was still ringing from the force of the denunciatory letters, telegrams and telephone calls he"d been getting.
And then there was Representative Follansbee of South Dakota. A set of news releases on the proposed Follansbee Waterworks Bill contained the statement that the artificial lake which Follansbee proposed in the Black Hills country "be formed by controlled atomic power blasts, and filled with water obtained from collecting the tears of widows and orphans."
Newsmen who saw this release immediately checked the bill. The wording was exactly the same. Follansbee claimed that the "widows and orphans"
phrase had appeared in his speech on the bill, and not in the proposed bill itself. "It"s completely absurd," he said, with commendable calm, "to consider this method of filling an artificial lake."
Unfortunately, the absurdity was now contained in the bill, which would have to go back to committee for redefinition, and probably wouldn"t come up again in the present session of Congress. Judging from the amount of laughter that had greeted the error when it had come to light, Malone privately doubted whether any amount of redefinition was going to save it from a landslide defeat.
Representative Keller of Idaho had made a speech which contained so many errors of fact that newspaper editorials, and his enemies on the floor of Congress, cut him to pieces with ease and pleasure. Keller complained of his innocence and said he"d gotten his facts from a computer-secretary, but this didn"t save him. His re-election was a matter for grave concern in his own party, and the opposition was, naturally, tickled. They would not, Malone thought, dare to be tickled pink.
And these were not the only casualties. They were the most blatant foul-ups, but there were others, such as the mistake in numbering of a House Bill that resulted in a two-month delay during which the opposition to the bill raised enough votes to defeat it on the floor.
Communications were diverted or lost or scrambled in small ways that made for confusion--including, Malone recalled, the perfectly horrible mixup that resulted when a freshman senator, thinking he was talking to his girlfriend on a blanked-vision circuit, discovered he was talking to his wife.
The flow of information was being blocked by bottlenecks that suddenly existed where there had never been bottlenecks before.
And it wasn"t only the computers, Malone knew. He remembered the reports the senators and representatives had made. Someone forgot to send an important message here, or sent one too soon over there. Both courses were equally disturbing, and both resulted in more snarl-ups.
Reports that should have been sent in weeks before arrived too late; reports meant for the eyes of only one man were turned out in triplicate and pa.s.sed all over the offices of Congress.
Each snarl-up was a little one. But, together, they added up to inefficiency of a kind and extent that hadn"t been seen, Malone told himself with some wonder, since the Harding administration fifty years before.
And there didn"t seem to be anyone to blame anything on.
Malone thought hopefully of sabotage, infiltration and ma.s.s treason, but it didn"t make him feel much better. He puffed out some more smoke and frowned at nothing.
There was a knock at the door of his office.
Speedily and guiltily, he swung his feet off the desk and s.n.a.t.c.hed the cigar out of his mouth. He jammed it into a deep ashtray and put the ashtray back into his desk drawer. He locked the drawer, waved ineffectively at the clouds of smoke that surrounded him, and said in a resigned voice: "Come in."
The door opened. A tall, solidly-built man stood there, wearing a fringe of beard and a cheerful expression. The man had an enormous amount of muscle distributed more or less evenly over his chunky body, and a pot-belly that looked as if he had swallowed a globe of the world. In addition, he was smoking a cigarette and letting out little puffs of smoke, rather like a toy locomotive.
"Well, well," Malone said, brushing feebly at the smoke that still wreathed him faintly. "If it isn"t Thomas Boyd, the FBI"s answer to Nero Wolfe."
"And if the physique holds true, you"re Sherlock Holmes, I suppose,"
Boyd said.
Malone shook his head, thinking sadly of his father and the cigar.
"Not exactly," he said. "Not ex--" And then it came to him. It wasn"t that he was ashamed of smoking cigars like his father, exactly, but cigars just weren"t right for a fearless, dedicated FBI agent. And he had just thought of a way to keep Boyd from knowing what he"d been doing. "That"s a h.e.l.l of a cigarette you"re smoking, by the way," he said.
Boyd looked at it. "It is?" he said.
"Sure is," Malone said, hoping he sounded sufficiently innocent.
"Smells like a cigar or something."
Boyd sniffed the air for a second, his face wrinkled. Then he looked down at his cigarette again. "By G.o.d," he said, "you"re right, Ken. It _does_ smell like a cigar." He came over to Malone"s desk, looked around for an ashtray and didn"t find one, and finally went to the window and tossed the cigarette out into the Washington breeze. "How are things, anyhow, Ken?" he said.
"Things are confused," Malone said. "Aren"t they always?"
Boyd came back to the desk and sat down in a chair at one side of it.
He put his elbow on the desk. "Sure they are," he said. "I"m confused myself, as a matter of fact. Only I think I know where I can get some help."
"Really?" Malone said.
Boyd nodded. "Burris told me I might be able to get some information from a certain famous and highly respected person," he said.
"Well, well," Malone said. "Who?"
"You," Boyd said.
"Oh," Malone said, trying to look disappointed, flattered and modest all at the same time. "Well," he went on after a second, "anything I can do--"
"Burris thought you might have some answers," Boyd said.
"Burris is getting optimistic in his old age," Malone said. "I don"t even have many questions."
Boyd nodded. "Well," he said, "you know this California thing?"
"Sure I do," Malone said. "You"re looking into the resignation out there, aren"t you?"
"Senator Burley," Boyd said. "That"s right But Senator Burley"s resignation isn"t all of it, by any means."
"It isn"t?" Malone said, trying to sound interested.
"Not at all," Boyd said. "It goes a lot deeper than it looks on the surface. In the past year, Ken, five senators have announced their resignations from the Senate of the United States. It isn"t exactly a record--"
"It sounds like a record," Malone said.
"Well," Boyd said, "there was 1860 and the Civil War, when a whole lot of senators and representatives resigned all at once."
"Oh," Malone said. "But there isn"t any Civil War going on now. At least," he added, "I haven"t heard of any."
"That"s what makes it so funny," Boyd said. "Of course, Senator Burley said it was ill health, and so did two others, while Senator Davidson said it was old age."
"Well," Malone said, "people do get old. And sick."
"Sure," Boyd said. "The only trouble is--" He paused. "Ken," he said, "do you mind if I smoke? I mean, do you mind the smell of cigars?"
"Mind?" Malone said. "Not at all." He blinked. "Besides," he added, "maybe this one won"t smell like a cigar."
"Well, the last one did," Boyd said. He took a cigarette out of a pack in his pocket, and lit it. He sniffed. "You know," he said, "you"re right. This one doesn"t."
"I told you," Malone said. "Must have been a bad cigarette. Spoiled or something."