Swamp Girl!

Author’s Notes
As I noted before, this will be the final chapter.
It’s not that it was affected by being the last chapter, but it ended up being more than twice as long as usual.

“Let’s go to Allie’s.”

When I woke up the next day, Leon wasn’t there.

I felt a bit lonely, but most likely because there were three people here, he decided to hold off.
However, the window that had obviously been shut last night was slightly ajar, and a gentle autumn breeze drifted into the room along with the morning sunlight.
It definitely carried Leon’s lingering scent, and for me, just that was enough.

Slipping out of bed by myself, I went to look for Leon and discovered him in his office.
Where the maids and I had held lessons when he wasn’t there.
Back then, Allie had been here, too, and it’d seemed like the most natural thing in the world to me.
No doubt Leon felt the same.

The unchanging mornings.
They suited this mansion.
That’s why, when I saw Leon, I told him so.
I didn’t say why I came to see him, why I said those words.
And no questions were forthcoming from Leon either.

–

–

And so, we were inside a carriage.
Leon and me. Just the two of us. I asked Aira and Palmira to watch the mansion. I felt a little bit awkward, and they seemed to want to say something, too, but in the end, they agreed.

Without Allie in the mansion, the maids seemed a little distant somehow. It was difficult for me to determine whether it was because of her absence or the changes in me.

“Big Sister, something about you is similar to the Head Maid, you know?”

I remembered what Aira said to me right before I left.
Maybe it was a little of both.

In any case, I’d changed.
Changed, or would it be better to say ‘replaced’? And, as Aira so aptly pointed out, the many experiences within me were trying to change me even further.

I was helpless to do anything about it.
I felt like I was becoming less and less myself, but honestly speaking, I’d been a copy for such a long time now that there was no ‘original me’, so it was strange to be worrying about it.

But, what does everyone else think?
What does Leon think?

I looked up at Leon, who was sitting next to me, with a sidelong glance.
For a moment, our eyes met, and I hastily turned mine away.
His eyes held their usual kindness, and his mouth was curved in a smile.

Nothing has changed about Leon.
I’m the only one who’s different. Will Leon accept that?
No, before that — will he forgive me for not being Chris?

I wouldn’t let my depressing thoughts show on my face.
I shifted my gaze to the scenery flowing by outside the carriage window.

–

–

We arrived at the castle, and when we got off the carriage, an unexpected face was waiting for us.

“‘Bout time. Ah, I mean… Prince Leon. Thank you for your prompt response…”

Christopher Carson. Chris Original.
The sudden chance meeting stirred complex emotions inside me that I couldn’t suppress. Now I was the third Chris, and a completely different person, you might say.
The body the second Chris had wished to return to. And the one for which such a return was impossible.
The owner of that body and the main cause of the second Chris’s destruction.

“Kh–…Haha–”

Thinking whatever he was thinking about, Leon suddenly burst into laughter, leaving me dumbstruck. Naturally, Chris’s expression grew puzzled.

“…Prince?”

“Hahaha — …no, I’m sorry. It was just a bit nostalgic, that’s all.”

As he finally brought his laughter back under control, the look in his eyes grew slightly distant.

Seeing that, my feelings became even more tangled.
That nostalgia was definitely from the time Leon and Chris first met. Outside the gates of Telaberan, which now seemed too far away.
The memory of Chris in the carriage, growing fl.u.s.tered while trying to keep to the cover story.

That had to be it.
The fact he remembered made me happy — and lonely.

“…At any rate, please hurry. There isn’t much time.”

Probably unable to understand, Chris hastened Leon on with a disheartened look on his face.

Earlier, Chris said ‘response’. Just what exactly is waiting for us?
Leon hadn’t said anything about this. I was sure that he’d merely accepted my suggestion, but now I looked at him with my head tilted to the side.
Leon looked at me and poff, put a hand on my head. I felt like he’d been doing that a lot recently. I was starting to hallucinate that somehow, I was getting even shorter.

Even so, isn’t this unfair?
Don’t go pulling this secret bulls.h.i.t on me.
I won’t bring it up myself if you do, and you know it. That’s playing dirty.

–

–

Nothing I can do about it. I entered the castle after Chris, who seemed impatient for some reason.

The castle’s interior was surprisingly deserted. Every once in a while, we’d pa.s.s by people who appeared to be civil officials or knights. The second Chris had only been here once. But if I unpacked Leon’s memories, I could get a rough idea of where things were.
When I thought about it, maybe knowing wasn’t always such a good thing.

Eventually, Chris stopped in front of a large door. It was gorgeously crafted, and standing to either side of it were two knight guards.

Chris knocked on the door briskly, then opened it. The room —

The room was the Second Prince’s private room. Lucien’s room.

I followed Chris inside.
Frankly, I couldn’t hide my confusion. Why, exactly, did I have to come to Lucien’s room at this point in the game? Leon knew something, but I was completely clueless.

Before us was Lucien, who’d been slammed into a wall by magic.

What had he been trying to do, in the end? I knew that it wasn’t to seal Tetra, as he’d told Leon.

“…Yo, Leon… Chris.”

Sure enough, lying down on the great bed in the center of the room was Lucien. A man in white stood beside it. He had a doctorly sort of air about him.

So he didn’t die?

That was the first thing that occurred to me, but even I have to admit it was tactless. Lucien was sinking into a sea of his own blood back there — I figured that anyone would’ve died.

He lived.

I was surprised, but not so much out of happiness. That said, I didn’t hate him, either.
Truth be told, I didn’t know if he was still clinging to his objective, but I kept my emotions level. The destruction of the second Chris had definitely been this man’s doing.
However, while that may be true, the idea of resenting him for it brought up fairly complicated feelings for me.

“Brother. I came, as promised.”

“Yeah, thanks. Frankly, I thought that even if you didn’t, there was nothing I could do about it. So, the wish of a dying man… you were curious to hear what it was, I suppose?”

I gasped upon hearing those words.
He was unexpectedly talkative, given the subject matter, but the shadow of death certainly was looming over his face. His eyes were murky, the color gone from his cheeks.
His innermost thoughts aside, Lucien’s usual liveliness was no longer anywhere to be seen.

“……”

Accepting his words, Leon had nothing to say in response.
His feelings were probably very complicated, just like mine. Between brothers, it wouldn’t be out-of-place for a simple “Don’t die”, but too much had happened for that to be said.

“So you came, Chris. You, well, I have no right to say this to you, but, I have a favor to ask.”

A favor, from me? Now?

Leon looked at me.
His eyes were worried. Lucien had ultimately used and destroyed Chris to create Tetra’s vessel. You could say the uneasiness was only to be expected.

“…I — want you to accept my memories.”

continued the frail Lucien, ignoring the atmosphere. He produced a desperate smile, but those words cut me keenly.

Memories.

I swallowed, hard.
I didn’t think I’d end up hearing that talk right here, right now. I bit my lip, turning rigid.

The thing I wanted to keep hidden, my secret.
Transcribing others’ memories.
There was a chance that everyone knew, to a slight degree. But still, I wanted to avoid seeing it explicitly out in the open here if I could help it.
Once I copied another’s memories, what would happen?
It was frightening, being forced to imagine it.

I glanced at Leon. He was watching Lucien with a complicated look on his face.
What should I do? Should I dodge the question?

“Please.”

As I wallowed in confusion, Lucien, who’d seemed asleep, reached out one of his palms to me.
Even that caused him agony. His hand was trembling.

I looked at Leon once more.
He met my eyes but didn’t say anything. Standing beside Lucien, Chris seemed to have something he wanted to say, but he ultimately stayed silent.

Is it okay for me to decide?

I came to the conclusion that it was. Though I was ultimately conflicted, I slowly approached the bed and laid my hand in his outstretched palm.
A blue light burst into life. Then, Lucien’s memories flowed into me.

–

–

“…Mn.”

It felt like a long time had pa.s.sed. It was probably a single moment.
I opened my eyes and took my hand back from Lucien.

What lay within was half of one man’s lifetime, colored by the despair of the knowledge forced upon him.
I knew it from Lucien’s appearance. Certainly, compared to the First Prince, Arthur, and the Third Prince, Leon, his looks were clearly different. They pointed to his birth from a different mother.

As a result, Lucien was treated as someone of little consequence among the three princes. His loyalty to the nation was the same. But because the circ.u.mstances of his birth, no one valued him.
Those feelings grew, and whatever the reality, he felt his brothers thought of him the same way.
Moreover, he didn’t realize it himself, but his way of thinking was too radical; so it didn’t matter how right he was, his thoughts continued to be received with silent contempt.

That’s why his understanding drove him to despair and gave Tetra an opening.
At the end of the day, Lucien was just another person dancing to Tetra’s tune.

“Thank you. I’m happy, Chris. Ahh — finally, I have the chance to be fully understood. Without being pushed aside, without being deceived. Simply understood. Leaving this behind, I can move on… There’s no greater happiness.”

I could understand that. For that reason, I couldn’t say anything.

Though acceptance is a completely separate matter, being understood is unmistakably a cause for joy.
That’s true for anyone.

It’s true for me. Truth be told, I want someone to understand me.
Even if they don’t accept me, it’s okay. I want my feelings to be understood properly, for precisely what they are. With that, I can be sure of my place in the world.

But that’s difficult.

In reality, no one understands. Ultimately, there’s no way to make sure if things have gotten across correctly.
That’s why Lucien summoned me. To copy his memories, and in doing so, to understand him.
Just before he finished this half a lifetime, the man accomplished what he’d always longed for.
There’s no way he wouldn’t be happy.

“I’ll say this, at the end. I’m sorry. Leon, and Chris. Well, I don’t think I’ll be forgiven. But words are important, I think. So thank you — I didn’t even have the courage to say that…”

Saying his final words, Lucien’s eyes closed gently. The attending physician rushed to check on his condition.

He’d lost consciousness.

So the doctor said. I was shocked for a moment, wondering if he’d pa.s.sed away. A small sigh escaped my lips.

“Let’s go.”

Leon said those two stiff words. From his expression, he was fighting desperately to hold something back.
An adversary he could never forgive. But now, that was wavering.
That was the look he had on his face.
We left the room, closing the door behind us.

“Thank you for your hard work. You’ve done enough already. The compensation he promised you, I’ll pay it. Please contact me with the amount later.”

I realized that Chris had left the room with us just as Leon offered him words of thanks.
Chris looked puzzled for a moment, then lowered his head.

“Well, if you say so, then I accept with grat.i.tude. But just in case, I intend to stay until the end, you know?”

Leon seemed taken aback.

“…Why? You don’t have that deep an obligation to him, do you?”

I thought the same.
I had this Chris’s memories, and now Lucien’s as well, but no matter how I sifted through them, I found no reason for Chris to go that far.

But I felt that somehow, I understood his reason for doing this.

“How should I put it? Look, isn’t Prince Lucien all alone? It may be disrespectful of me to say so, but hardly anyone has come to visit him. Even though they know he doesn’t have much time left. Well, I suppose there are a lot of circ.u.mstances. I mean, I only signed a contact with the guy once, so maybe I’m overstepping my bounds, but if you’re alright with me, is it okay for me to stay until the end…?”

Half formal, half normal, Chris reeled off his jumbled mishmash of a speech like he found it totally reasonable.
I caught the sound of Leon taking a sharp breath beside me. I turned my eyes to him the same moment he turned his eyes to me.
Our eyes met. I understood what he wanted to say.
Um, not sure how to say this. But, it’s because we’re different, don’t you think? Chris and me.
Abruptly, I averted my eyes.

“…Is that so? You have my grat.i.tude… Chris. Please take care of my older brother.”

From outside my view, turned aside as it was, I picked up Leon’s voice.
Even if I denied it to myself, it was ticklish to hear. Speaking of which, isn’t this the first time Leon has called this Chris by name?

But aren’t you glad, Lucien?
Unexpectedly, you have someone who understands close to you. You may have left your memories with me, but you have the chance to pa.s.s things on with words, too. With something more than words.

If you call it good fortune, then it just might be.
But if someone’s there as a result, even if it’s just the one, isn’t that enough?

–

–

Parting ways with Chris, we arrived at the hospital room a.s.signed to Allie, the favorite.
We opened the door to find Allie, lying in bed, and Arc, uncomfortably squeezed into a chair beside her, in a room so small it couldn’t even be compared to Lucien’s.

“Hey, Arcteur. Sorry to put you through all the trouble,”

Leon greeted him, his voice quiet. Arc stood up from the chair.

“If it isn’t Prince Leon. Calling it trouble is kinder than I deserve,”

Arc said amiably, bowing his head. Then, as if they’d arranged it beforehand, the two moved their gazes to the bed.

There, Allie’s completely defenseless figure was stretched out.
Because the thin blanket covering her rose and fell slightly, I knew that she was alive, at least.

Only, she wouldn’t wake up.

“How is she?”

“You could say that she’s stable. The human body is outside my field of expertise, but according to the doctor, there are no problems. But… as for her heart — ”

The conversation stopped there. No one said anything.
But that was enough. Everyone present understood equally well what that meant.
[Chris] must have been the same way.
In that sense, Arc might even be considered an expert on these symptoms. But what he could do about them was another story.

“Is that so…”

Leon looked at Allie with a trace of dejection in his expression.
He probably looked the same way when he saw [Chris] ten years ago. He was seeing it all over again. Just how badly — was his heart hurting?

It was probably the same for Arc.
He wasn’t acquainted with Allie, but he knew all too well what it was like to be helpless in the face of this.

So I said the words that I came all the way here to say.

“Arc, Leon. I’ll return Allie’s heart to her.”

Although it came from me, that voice sounded surprisingly level.

–

–

“Something like that — ”

Arc pressed me to elaborate, a sincere expression of astonishment on his face.
Feeling calmer somehow, I thought, ‘I mean, this is Arc, but to be that shaken?’
I looked at Leon. His eyes a bit wide in surprise, he, too, stared at me with disbelief stamped across his face.
Seeing that, I was overcome by an indescribable feeling.

By saying this much, I’m proving that I’m not Chris.
But it’s something I definitely have to make clear.
So if I can save Allie — well, the people who are alive right now. Leon, and the people at the mansion. If I can save them, then I will.

There’s no evil in that. There definitely isn’t.

“…Even if she’s lost her heart, I can return it to her — look, I’m here, aren’t I? Master Arc — Big Brother.”

Crushing down the sensation of my body teetering on the brink of collapse, I — I addressed the two of them by the nostalgic names in my memories.

“Chr…is?”

This time, the two of them looked genuinely astonished.
I grinned, enjoying it.

“That’s right. I was able to come back. That’s why Allie can come back too, for sure. But listen well. Big Brother, Teacher.”

I took a breath. An act, or sincerity?
Calming down, I kept it matter-of-fact.

“It’s the reconstruction of Allie’s heart. The one that once existed was destroyed, and won’t be coming back. Teacher, you know that very well too, right? So using her memories, I’ll make a new one.”

“Th–That’s… but, her memories — ”

When Arc’s panicked words broke off, Leon took a sharp breath.
That’s right. I can take in memories. That’s why.

“It’s alright. Allie’s memories are in here too. By transcribing them, she’ll be remade.”

I didn’t mince words. I wanted them to understand with perfect clarity.
Arc still looked shocked. Leon — nothing. His emotions were unreadable.

“I can construct her that way. Though I’ll need your help too, Teacher. However, I want you to think carefully. About whether that will truly be alright.”

“That — but, it won’t be the former Allie, right?”

It’s alright. I’m getting through. Even in his silence, Leon surely understands too.
If he does, then —

“That’s right, that’s why I’m also a new and distinct version of me. Not Christine, not Christopher. Of course, not Chris, either. But possessing all of their memories, who does that make me? If I put it like this, I wonder if you’ll understand? — I’m a swamp man.”

I said it. G.o.d help me, I said it.

If I put it that way, they’re sure to understand, right? What, exactly, I mean.
I have the memories. But that’s all there is to me.

A forgery, as it were.

Yeah, a separate something that bears a close resemblance. An unquestionably blasphemous thing.
I walked across the room to the inner window. As if to look outside, I turned my back on them — on Leon (Big Brother).

“Allie can be brought back. But she’ll be the same as me, a swamp man. If you’re alright with that even so, she can be brought back. What will you do, Big Brother?”

I asked, holding down my feelings. My voice was — fine. I definitely couldn’t show him my face right now.

After, I simply waited for Leon to speak.
Will he offer acceptance, or rejection?
Keenly alert, I took shallow breaths.

“Bring Allie back, Chris.”

It was acceptance.

–

–

The ritual was simpler than I thought.

First, we laid Allie facedown, lining up three invocation stones from the nape of her neck to her back. Then, a spell to embed the invocation stones in the body. The applied Attunements: light and darkness.

As Arc had done to [Chris], this, to borrow her words, rid her of her humanity.
To tell you the truth, the objective of this procedure was to pave the way for the final spell — it didn’t establish the heart.

However, it was solely thanks to Chris’s previous example that we knew it was necessary.
Even Tetra’s memories contain no trace of a technique to remake the heart. That’s why we could only retrace the steps Chris went through.

Up to this point, Arc had been handling the work. Truth be told, this art of turning the human body into an invocation stone was Arc’s invention; it didn’t exist in Tetra’s memories. In that sense, you could call him a true genius.

And once he was done, it would be my turn.

I transcribed Allie’s memories from inside me into her.
The method of transcribing memories was clearly written in Tetra’s memories. Press both hands against the back, then send the memories in.

The memories were copied, not transferred.

So while I transmitted them, those memories remained inside me.

I left out the day leading up to her destruction.
If I transcribed all the way up to her being swallowed up by Tetra, her reconstructed heart might collapse a second time.

That’s what I thought.

–

–

Once it was finished, I left the room by myself and went out onto the castle balcony. The sun was still high in the sky. The sky was blue, the autumn clouds floating by.

Allie’s treatment was complete.
I didn’t know whether her heart resided within her. I imagined that right now, Leon was calling her.
Honestly, I didn’t know if he would succeed.

If I think about it, what is this thing called the heart?

In the first place, like me, like Chris might have been, all that lay there were mere memories. Do memories create the heart? Or are they something separate?

Honestly speaking, I don’t have the faintest clue.

Despite being born as a swamp man like this, I didn’t understand what in the world the heart really was, not in the least.

Walking along the deserted balcony, I ran my hand along the banister.
Then, I closed my eyes.

What floated before my eyes was that night.
Being held by Leon as the fireworks shot into the sky, shaking the air, and then — .

That, I could clearly recall.

But that isn’t my experience. It’s just a memory.
The mind is built from experience. Memories are no more than things of the past. And yet, if I closed my eyes right now, I would feel it clearly, so clearly I could relive it within myself.

Right now, if I have to be honest, I have feelings for Leon.
They lie in my heart like a curse. Even though they were born from temporary memories, those scorching emotions are here in me now.
Even though I want to question them, there’s no way I can. I know, without a doubt, that they’re my own — my own personal feelings.

Even if I’m a fake, even so, it was none other than Leon who created me as I am now. When I’ve seen it so clearly in the form of his memories, how can I exist without feeling affection for him?

But my thoughts and Leon’s feelings don’t match.
His feelings lie within the memories that he acc.u.mulated together with Chris, but for me, those same memories are merely temporary.
That’s why I have no right to accept Leon’s feelings. In the first place, I’m… not even human.

–

–

…But. Leon.

I like him.
I love him.

Memories, experiences, those kinds of reasons don’t matter.
What I feel right now is everything.

So I can’t help but be scared.
Leon accepted Allie, but — but even so, I’m anxious.
Anxious, I’m anxious — it’s frightening.

Who am I?
The question I repeated to myself time and time again emerges in my heart once more.
Who am I to Leon?

–

–

“Chris.”

As I leaned over the banister, exhausted by my thoughts, I heard that voice from behind me.
My heartbeat sped up from joy, or perhaps anxiety, but I forced it down and a.s.sumed a mask of composure.

About to speak, I took a deep breath.
Then, I turned around.

“Big Brother, how is Allie?”

Deliberately, I pretended to play [Chris], as I had earlier.
Faced with that, for a single moment, Leon’s approaching footsteps faltered. His face was strangely expressionless, his emotions unreadable.

“Ah, she woke up just a little while ago. It felt like seeing a miracle all over again.”

“I’m glad to hear that. So, how was she? The new Allie.”

Was that a little too suggestive? But I wanted to see his reaction.
Though he’d accepted the idea, what did he think now that he’d seen the reawakened Allie in reality?
Even though she’s the same, she isn’t the same.
What did he think, seeing her with that knowledge?

“Well, it’s definitely her. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

His words were completely devoid of hesitation.

Slightly taken aback, I quickly turned to face the banister. Because a joy that exceeded all reason threatened to break out on my face.
It seemed incredibly indecent to show it.

“I–Is that so? If you’re okay with it, Big Brother, then it’s probably fine, isn’t it?”

Somehow, I managed to reply in a lighthearted tone of voice.

That’s not it.

‘That’s great to hear, Leon.’

Even though I should say words like those.

“Chris.”

While I was thinking, I heard that word practically next to my ear.
Then, just like back then, I found myself being hugged from behind.

“Hya…!”

I accidentally let out a small scream.

Why? What for?

I completely hadn’t antic.i.p.ated that; all at once, I was pushed into a state of pure chaos.
Various thoughts mingled and disappeared. They didn’t come together to form anything meaningful.
I had absolutely no idea what to think, what to feel.

“Wrong. That’s not the real you, the real Chris, right?”

The moment I heard those words, my heartbeat, which was hammering away at full speed, leapt even higher.

“Hgh–ah, ah–”

Meaningless syllables tumbled from my trembling mouth.
Jumbled emotions rampaged through my body. When it came to the single conclusion, I couldn’t hold back the emotions. The tears spilled from my eyes without end.

“Ah–ahh–waahh — why, why is it — why is it that you — ”

— found me?

I unconsciously adopted [Chris’s] persona, in order to deceive my true self.
The way I sometimes thought, isn’t Leon searching for [Chris], maybe? It was to hide that uneasiness.
Because I wished for him to find me.

And Leon found me right away.
Not [Chris] — me.

But.

“But, I — I’m, not Chri — mm — ”

The moment I tried to deny it further, suddenly, I found my lips sealed.
My reason couldn’t keep up with this sudden development.

“Nm, mmm…”

In my incomprehension, the anxiety, the fear, muddily melted away.
Inside my head, just about everything turned into a sloppy mess, and I stopped caring.

Too — pushy.
The fact that the matter seemed to have only one meaning, with just those two words, after that, I was swallowed up by a whirlpool of joy, and I couldn’t think straight.
All this time, this was the only thing I wanted.
The alarm bells were going off in my distant memories, but even they were soon washed away by an overwhelming pleasure.

“Mmah–”

Our lips parted. Realizing that, I finally came back to myself.
I didn’t even really know exactly how long that went on for.
The strength drained from my body, I was pressed up against the banister, in a state where I had to rely almost completely on Leon for support.

“Chris. If I said that I was born too when I woke up this morning, would you believe me?”

What’s Leon talking about, out the blue?
I listened to him with a stupefied look on my face.

“When I fell asleep last night, I was destroyed once. Then, in the morning, I was reborn with the same memories. In that case, am I not me?”

E–Eh?

I can’t keep up with what he’s saying. Frantic, I tried to follow his meaning.

” — I don’t know something like that.”

Before I could understand what he meant, I replied.
At which point the arms holding me tightened.

“Gwah–”

“Right — you don’t know. No one does. Not me, not anyone else. In the end, not one person knows just what the heart is. But if it’s in this moment, then I can clearly tell you where it is.”

Then, just slightly, Leon leaned forward and looked directly into my eyes.
I felt giddy.

“My heart is there, Chris. And yours is here.”

Pierced by his steady gaze, I obediently nodded.

That’s true, isn’t it.

That’s definitely true.
At those words, everything that troubled me was washed away.

In the end, I don’t even understand it now. This thing known as the heart. And I doubt I’ll ever know what in the world it is. But if you were to ask me where it is right now, then it’s definitely right here.

That alone, I know for sure.

This emotion I feel right now. This feeling.
It affirms it all. I know without a doubt that it’s none other than my heart.
Even if it’s destroyed today to be born tomorrow, if it holds my will, my consciousness, then I can confirm that at least it’s me.
Even if I were to split in two today, each of them would be ‘me’, I think. Who, I can’t say, but at least the fact that they’d be “me” is definitely clear.1

And… that might just be enough.

“I love you — Chris.”

“Hya–?”

As I was beginning to put the pieces together, Leon launched a surprise attack.

All at once, the feelings in me that had been about to settle down collapsed and scattered.
Boiling up all at once, my mind spun in circles again.

“L–Leon. That’s, uhm, I mean, I, that is, are you okay with m — mmph.”

Again, my mouth was sealed.
That’s playing dirty. I can’t think a d.a.m.n thing.

Ultimately, even if I did, there might be no helping it.
Maybe the world is far simpler than I think, far easier to understand.

At least, right now, that’s true.
The one feeling here, setting my consciousness alight.
Because I can understand that this is absolutely, unconditionally, the right thing.

–

–

The memories collecting, layer after layer.

Even if they were temporary, from now on, too, more will collect on top of them, and continue to stand on their shoulders.
If so, then those will surely belong to the me that I am now.
If we’re talking about what the heart is, then I’ll show myself living it.

Until the day, someday, it crumbles and disappears.

With that in my heart — I will forge on.

Author’s Notes
Above is the end of “Swamp”.
To those who have read until here, thank you very much.
When you finished reading, did you find this a satisfying way to end?
To be honest, no matter how many times I reread it, even though I’m not confident at all that it’s complete like this. I guess I’m a little nervous, too.
However, this being the way it is, it also looks like I finished what I wanted to write, so I want to have this wrap things up.

At the end, again.
To everyone who read this.
My heartfelt thanks.

Footnotes
1. I read this as Chris saying it’s not a question of who you are to others, but a validation of existence: that one ‘exists’ and one is ‘oneself’. ↵

Isn’t Chris a cutie? Thankfully, this chapter brings us to essentially a happy ending. Those feels from last chapter were so bittersweet, for real though.
I started translating this to practice my reading, but I loved the story and wanted to share. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I have!