When the weekend rolled around Harper was looking forward to relaxing. She spent Sat.u.r.day morning cleaning house, doing laundry and answering mail and email she had ignored all week. Jackie, her old lover, wrote, "Stay out of the d.y.k.e drama." Harper replied with only two words, "Too Late!"
J.R. was supposed to get to Durham today; he would call her, as soon as he could. His first game would be an exhibition next Sat.u.r.day, at three p.m., against the Bay Sharks, the parent team. He hoped she could come. He would go ahead and leave two tickets for her at the box office. She wrote back, "Please call, need to see you ASAP."
Harper marked the game on her wall calendar, stuck on the front of the refrigerator. She couldn"t wait to see J.R., a person that loved her and wanted nothing from her in return. She needed that right now. She hoped he"d call tonight so she could find out when she could see him. She wanted to feel his big arms around her, to feel safe, if only for a few minutes.
J. R. had always made Harper feel like he would never let anything bad happen to her. She wished that she loved him, like he loved her, but she just didn"t. She could have, maybe one day, but now there was Lauren and there was no going back. At least he would be a distraction from this excruciating aching that now had settled into Harper"s chest.
Grandma sent an email making sure Harper remembered to come to Wilson to take her to church Sunday morning. Homecoming was a big deal to Grandma. She said she hoped she"d win the prize for the oldest one still living, but thought maybe she"d have to wait till next year. She was eighty-seven this year. She had Harper"s father very late in life after all her other children were grown. Grandma heard that Lucy Bell went and dragged some old aunt out of Virginia, so she probably wouldn"t win this year.
Grandma was still a feisty old woman and would expect Harper to be on time. Wilson was an hour and a half away. She"d have to leave at seven thirty in the morning to make it. She wrote back that she would be there by nine a.m. and stay as long as she could, but she had to be back in Kerrville, by ten p.m. at the latest.
She and Jasper jogged around the forested neighborhood, following roads, as far as they went, then backtracking to find another one. They did this for an hour then went home and cleaned up the yard, from all the wind and rain. Jasper followed Harper everywhere she went. She spent half of the time trying to get to the trash that had blown in, before Jasper could s.n.a.t.c.h it. Once he figured out she wanted the little bits of wet paper and plastic, the war was on. It was fun for a while, but after an hour, Harper gave up and went in to fix lunch.
When she showered and dashed off to practice, Jasper stayed behind, content with his trash and doggie door. The first car Harper saw was the Lexus Shelby drove. A large white SUV made her heart skip a beat, but it wasn"t a Tahoe. Harper had a secret she couldn"t tell anybody. Lauren was calling her. She wasn"t talking to Harper, but she was calling her. What that meant was anybody"s guess, but it was all she had for now. Harper was afraid that, if she told someone, it would stop.
Shelby was the first to speak to Harper. She was smiling and looked, pretty much, back to normal. She asked Harper about her first week at work. Shelby was really trying to make the best of a bad situation. Harper appreciated the effort.
Jane handed out uniforms. Harper had so many uniforms; from all the teams she had played on, that she had been forced to throw some away, when she moved. There was still a box full in the garage. So, Harper wasn"t as excited as the others were. She enjoyed watching their faces, as they checked out their new look. Chita and Dee went in one of the dugouts to put on the uniforms. They came out and modeled like they were on a runway. Chita did look hot.
It was good to see Shelby laughing again. Everyone seemed so much more relaxed than they had in a while. Practice went very well. They were really starting to click together. There was no drama and everyone was leaving smiling. Harper reminded Jane that she had to go to Grandma"s tomorrow.
Just as they were leaving, Abby asked if Harper was coming over for the usual Sat.u.r.day night fling.
"I don"t know. I"m waiting for a call from a friend of mine, who plays for the Durham Bats. He gets into town today," Harper said putting her bag in the back seat.
This perked up the ears around them.
Shy Lynn shocked everybody by saying, "I love baseball players."
Abby said, "Bring him with you. The boys will be so impressed."
Harper opened her door, "I"ll see what he says, but if I don"t see you tonight, I"ll make sure the boys get to meet him soon."
Harper saw a big blue duffel bag on her porch when she got home. She parked in the garage and cautiously entered the house through the utility room. She crept through the kitchen and started into the great room, when she heard something in the back yard. She was hoping Jasper was out there and not in here, with the ma.s.s murderer that was about to stab her to death. Then she looked out the French doors. A grin grew into an immense smile when she saw that strawberry blonde hair under the ball cap, worn by the man throwing a baseball to her dog.
Harper burst out the back door and ran into J.R."s arms. He hugged her tight in return.
"Good Lord girl, you"re about to squeeze me to death." J.R. pulled her back and placed his hands on Harper"s shoulders. He bent his six four frame down and looked deep into her eyes. "Harper, what"s happened? Is your Grandma alright?"
"No, Grandma"s okay." Suddenly Harper fell into his chest and began to sob. She hadn"t meant to do this. It was the first time she had really let it all out, since this whole mess began and once she started, it took a while for her to stop. J.R. didn"t say a word. He sat down on a bench and pulled Harper up into his lap. He held her there until the heaving sobs subsided and her breathing returned to normal.
Harper stood up, taking J.R."s hand, leading him into the house. While he went to get his bag off the porch, Harper went into the downstairs bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. Once she was sure she had it together, she came out into the Great Room where J.R. was starting the gas logs in the fireplace. They climbed onto the couch facing each other, Harper holding his big hand in hers.
"Okay, tell me what"s going on, Harper. You"re scaring me. I"ve never seen you like that."
"I"m so sorry. I didn"t know that was going to happen." Harper looked down at the couch and played with a string on Jasper"s blanket. "I guess I"ve been holding a lot in, lately."
"I think that is an understatement," J.R. was really worried.
"Jay, I really f.u.c.ked up this time," Harper said, still very quiet.
"Harper, you know I love you and you can tell me anything, no matter what it is."
Harper took a deep breath. "Well, first of all, I need to tell you something that might surprise you. I"ve fallen in love with a woman."
J.R. didn"t even blink, "Do you really think that surprises me?"
Harper was taken by surprise herself, "Well, I thought it might."
"Harper, I know you better than you know yourself. You"re gay. I hoped you might change your mind. But when I realized, that"s who you were and that was why we just couldn"t make it work, I decided I"d rather be in your life, as your friend, than not have you in my life, at all."
"Do you know how much I love you, Jay?" Harper said leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.
"I would like to have the first dance, if you change your mind though," J.R. said, tickling her sides, till she begged him to stop.
"Okay, now tell me about this woman, who has broken your heart and f.u.c.ked up your life."
Harper told J.R. the whole story from beginning to end, leaving out no details. When she finished, Harper felt like a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The ache in her chest was still there, but she felt tons better.
J. R. looked puzzled, "What"s stopping you from telling Lauren how you feel? She"s obviously moved on from this other woman, what"s her name?"
"Shelby. I want Lauren to be sure of what she wants. I want her to know that she wants me and not because I came along when she was lonely and hurt. Do you know what I mean?" Harper asked.
"Darlin", you are thinking too much. You better tell her how you feel, before she finds somebody else. You"ll hate yourself, if you let her get away. You know what your problem is?"
Harper was curious as to what J.R. thought her problem was, "No, please tell me."
"You are afraid of getting hurt. You"re afraid she"ll change her mind and go back to that other woman. Come on Harper, you"re going to have to really love somebody sometime and you might get hurt, but that"s the chance you have to take."
Harper put her head down again. He was so right. She was terrified of losing someone she really loved, ever again. How could she love somebody unconditionally, without being afraid that one day they would be gone, with no warning?
J. R. placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her head, "You have to do it, eventually."
"I know," was all Harper could say.
They got up and fixed spaghetti together like old times. Harper put on some music and they danced, b.u.mping and brushing up against each other as they worked. Harper was having so much fun she had forgotten to ask him why he was at her house.
"How did you get to my house?" Harper asked him, as he tossed the salad.
"I called a taxi. I had your address from your last email. When I got off the plane, I checked my email and saw your message. You weren"t here when I got here, so I jumped the fence into the backyard and found ol" Jasper. That"s a real guard dog you got there."
"We"re working on that, but I think it"s a lost cause. He might lick a robber to death, though. When do you have to report to the team?" Harper asked.
"I don"t have to be there until tomorrow afternoon, so I was wondering, could I stay here tonight?" J.R. raised a questioning eyebrow.
Harper did not hesitate, "Of course you can, anytime. I"ll even make you a key if you want."
"I"d like that very much," J.R. smiled and kissed her on the cheek.
Harper remembered Abby"s party, "Hey, how would you like to meet all these people I"ve been talking about? It would get me points with the boys if I bring a real life Durham Bat."
J.R. was intrigued, "Will this Lauren be there?"
Harper shook her head, "No, she doesn"t come around anymore, but her ex, Shelby, will be."
"Count me in. I"ll drive, because I can"t drink. I have a physical tomorrow. Alcohol doesn"t look good in a blood test to the boys in the bigs, with all the s.h.i.t they have to deal with now."
"Then it"s a date." Harper was excited. She wanted her new friends to meet J.R. "I"ll call Abby and tell her we"re coming." She hugged him again. He really was her best friend.
Chapter Fourteen.
They spent the rest of the evening catching up. Jasper followed J.R. everywhere. He was in love with the man who gave him the baseball. Jasper carried the ball everywhere he went. He didn"t chew on it; he just wanted it with him and he wanted to be with the man. J.R. had that effect on people and dogs as well. He was just a good old boy, with a brain and a rifle for an arm. He hadn"t changed a bit.
Harper picked out J.R."s clothes from what he brought with him. Most of his stuff was what he had been wearing in Florida, which didn"t quite match the weather they were having. She settled on a tight fitting blue Under Amour long-sleeved shirt, and a worn pair of jeans. He had a tight body and Harper thought he should show it off. He had his Sharks jacket with him, so that would work when they were outside.
Harper decided to dress up for J.R. He always loved it when she looked good by his side. He said it made him so proud that men looked at him with envy, when they walked by. Harper thought the guys probably envied J.R."s ripped body, but she played along. She chose a pair of black slacks that made her a.s.s look good. She found the s.e.xy silk see-through black top, in the back of the closet, put on her black camisole and added some black heels for effect.
She was careful with her makeup wearing more than usual and spent time on her hair. She added gold hoop earrings with one topaz stone threaded on each and a gold necklace and bracelet set. When she had finished, Harper looked the best she"d taken the time to look in a while. In fact, when she saw herself in the mirror, she even thought she looked hot.
J.R., who was standing by the fire, whistled when she came down the hall towards him. He grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket. "I have to have a picture of this for my boys." He aimed the camera at her and Harper struck a s.e.xy pose. "Hey, if you ever meet my boys, don"t tell them you"re gay, it will spoil the illusion."
Harper laughed, "I"ll tell them you"re the only man I will ever love. It won"t be a lie"
"Let"s get you to that party, so I can show you off." He popped her on the b.u.t.t, as he went by, on the way to the garage. He turned around and walked backwards, in front of her, laughing. "You do have full coverage on the Hummer, in case you get drunk and we go four wheelin"?"
"There is always that possibility. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can"t take the country out of the girl." They laughed and headed off to the party. Harper was so happy J.R. had shown up.
A big fuss was made, at the door of the pool house, when they arrived. Everyone crowded in to shake J.R."s hand and welcome him to the Durham Bats. Jay had skipped the Bats, on the way to the Big Show, his first time through. He was a left-handed middle reliever, from the bigs, and all the men were ecstatic. The straight women and even a few of the gay ones told Harper how gorgeous he was. Harper just smiled and watched J.R. work the crowd. He was definitely a charmer.
Chita slipped up behind her, "Chica, you are full of surprises and looking d.a.m.n fine this evening."
Harper grinned at Chita, "I might be gay, but I do know a fine man when, I see one."
Chita shot back, "He may be fine, but I"d take you over him any day, and I do men, too, you know."
Shelby came up to them and touched Harper on the arm, "You look amazing. That blouse is exquisite." Shelby was being genuinely nice.
It made Harper feel good. She looked good and she felt better than she had, since Lauren crashed at her house. Maybe it was time to make that move, like J.R. said. She would hate herself if Lauren ended up with someone else, other than Shelby. If she went back to Shelby, Harper could live with that, but another woman would devastate her.
The party progressed and Harper found herself sitting with the girls, while the boys talked and played pool. Of course they talked about what a hot body J.R. had.
Alicia said, "Come on girl, get up off them details. You know you had some of that. I don"t care if you are gay, that man is fine."
They hounded Harper until she finally said, "He is a very gentle and thoughtful lover, and yes he"s quite well proportioned, and that is all I am going to say."
The women around her hooted and hollered. Alicia gave Harper a high five. Julie was absolutely drooling over J.R., which made Harper warm and fuzzy inside. "Take that b.i.t.c.h," she thought. After several more rounds were in the girls, they put on a Motown"s greatest hits CD and started to dance and sing. The boys joined in occasionally, but it was the girls that were throwing down. When Smokey Robinson started singing Tracks of My Tears, they sang the whole thing in unison standing on every piece of furniture they could find.
In the middle of all the up-tempo songs, Lionel Richie and Diana Ross began to sing "Endless Love." J.R. sauntered over to Harper and asked her if she wanted to dance. She"d had enough to drink to think it was a wonderful idea. He pulled her close to him and started slow two-stepping her around the pool table. He was a wonderful dancer; she had forgotten how good it felt to let him lead her around, so gracefully. The room was lowly lit this evening, the only bright light came from the pool table light and the roaring fire.
Harper was unaware that the whole room was watching them. She had her head on his chest and her eyes closed, totally engrossed in the swaying of their bodies. He felt so strong and sure of himself and he smelled heavenly. He was a good lover. She knew that from experience. G.o.d, why couldn"t she love him? He was perfect. He was going to make some woman a h.e.l.l of a husband. The song ended, but she held on just a minute longer.
Then she heard one pair of hands clapping slowly. She opened her eyes to see Lauren standing by the door. She was the one clapping. The look on her face made Harper let go of J.R. immediately. The Supremes began from the CD player. "Baby, Baby, Baby, Where did our love go?" Lauren stopped clapping. Harper"s mind was racing. She looked at Shelby, who was looking at Lauren.
J.R. whispered, "Is that her?"
Harper only nodded yes.
J.R. pushed her toward Lauren, "Well, now"s your chance. Cowgirl up!"
It all happened so fast. Lauren turned around and walked back out the door. She wasn"t moving like she was the first time Harper saw her leave the pool house. Lauren"s shoulders were slumped and she looked like the air had been let out of her sails. Shelby was the first to reach the door, but when J.R. said, "Cowgirl up," Harper had started moving too, so she was right behind Shelby.
They said in unison, "Lauren!" then stopped and stared at each other.
Lauren stopped. She turned around slowly and looked at the two women, who were still staring at each other.
"Well, which one of you is going to p.i.s.s on the tree first?" Lauren said sarcastically.
Shelby broke the standoff with Harper. She turned to Lauren, "I guess that depends on you."
"No, I don"t think so. Shelby, you and I have already discussed this and I think you know exactly how I feel. I did not come here to see you. I came to see Harper, but as she is obviously otherwise engaged, I"ll be going now."
Harper had enough of this s.h.i.t, she spoke up, and this time not like a twenty three year old girl, but the woman wise beyond her years, who thought someone should take control of this calamity.
"Hey, you know you jump to conclusions pretty quickly, Lauren. Things aren"t always what they seem. And you, Shelby, I don"t care if you f.u.c.k up my entire research project, h.e.l.l go for it. I"ve been cooperative up until now. I stayed away from Lauren, just like you asked."
Lauren was incensed. She came at Shelby. "You told her to stay away from me or you would screw up her research project? You"re on a bigger ego trip than I thought you were, Shelby. How dare you!"
"How dare I?" Shelby screamed, she was as mad as Lauren now and they were both ignoring Harper.
Harper glanced back at the pool house. Every available s.p.a.ce in the windows was taken up by the partygoers, who had now become party peepers.
Shelby was in full voice, "I was fighting to get my life back. This little girl walks in here and you lose your mind, and how dare I try to save the life we had together. I thought, at the time, it was worth fighting for."
"And I have made it quite clear that it is not!" Lauren shouted topping Shelby"s volume.
The air became still. Lauren"s voice echoed through the trees. Shelby glared at Lauren. Love turned to spite right then and there. Shelby turned to Harper, "You can have her."
With those words, Shelby turned on her heels and went back inside the pool house. Lauren and Harper were alone now. Well, alone as you can be with twenty-six eyes spying on you through the windows. Harper lost consciousness of the others" presence. She was so focused on Lauren; everything else vanished from her mind. This was it. The moment was now. She needed to say something, but she didn"t know what.
Finally, after taking a deep breath she decided on, "Lauren, can we please go somewhere and talk, someplace private."