aHe means toes,a Kane said, shrugging. aHe heard the word on aThe Simpsonsa and I told him it meant toes.a aYes, you darling child,a Samantha said. aIall wash your toes too and further, if you get dirty, Iall trade all your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bandages for boring grown-up ones. Howas that for punishment?a Giggling, the boys ran into the garden.
Kaneas mouth was hanging open as he looked at Samantha as she cleaned up the breakfast dishes.
Turning to him, her face stern and judgmental, she said, aYou really shouldnat let them eat cookies for breakfast, and diet cola is all chemicals. And their hygiene leaves a great deal to be desired.a Picking up his paper, Kane put it back in front of his face. aYou canat have them, Sam. Theyare mine. Get Mike to make you some of your own.a Samantha didnat answer him. When she went to the kitchen, she was blushing, for the thought that Kane, who she knew was a widower, might possibly leave the boys with her until he found a mother for them had indeed been uppermost in her mind.
28.
aY ou want to tell me about you and Nelson?a aNelson?a Samantha asked vaguely, for her mind was on the twins, the dear boys Kane had taken away immediately after breakfast. It was almost as though he were afraid that if he left the boys with her any longer, she might succeed in taking them away from him.
aThe guy in the bar. You remember him? You met him when you paraded yourself before half of New York while wearing practically nothing.a Samantha laughed. aAh, yes that Nelson. Mike, do you think I have the qualifications to be one of those five-hundred-dollar-a-night call girls?a Mike grunted in answer. aAre you planning to tell me what Nelson wrote on that piece of paper he gave you or not? Of course, I could be like you and snoop through all your possessions to find it, but I have more ethics than that.a As she picked up his dirty lunch plate, she kissed the tip of his nose. aCouldnat find it, could you?a For a moment, Mike looked away, not meeting her eyes, then he left the table to follow her into the kitchen. aSamantha,a he said, awhat are you up to?a aThe paper had a name on it, Walden, and a telephone number.a As he watched her load dishes into the washer, he realized that she was avoiding his eyes. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he turned her to face him. aAnd what have you done about this name and number?a aI called the number and it seems that Mr. Walden is an attorney and I have an appointment to see him today at three.a aWere you planning to go alone? Maybe you were planning to tell me that you wanted to do a little shopping, then sneak away to the appointment?a aMike, itas not as though I was planning to secretly meet somebody like Doc by myself. This man is an attorney, and heas young, at least heas younger than most of the people who know anything about Maxie are, so he couldnat have been too involved with what happened in 1928. Mr. Walden is only fifty-five.a aAnd how do you know that?a aI, well, asked his secretary. I told her I thought he was a man Iad met at a singlesa bar and described him as about twenty-six, blond, and tall. She informed me that Mr. Walden was fifty-five years old, married with four grown children, and five feet six and had gray hair and a potbelly. If heas that young, what can he know about my grandmother? Do you think he handled some legal work for her or do you think he does actually know something?a aI guess thereas only one way to find out, isnat there? Get dressed and weall go see him.a aMike, you donat have to go. I can meet him, then come back here and tell you what he had to say.a It half enraged Mike and half pleased him that she was trying to protect him, for he knew thatas exactly what she was trying to do. Head made it clear that he wanted her to stop sticking her nose into the mystery of what happened to cause Maxie to leave her family. Now she was continuing to search but was trying to keep her searching from him.
He kissed her softly. aDo you realize that itas after two oaclock now? If you plan to get into one of those suits of yours and spray your hair with that epoxy stuff and paint your face anda"a Samantha was already running toward the bathroom.
At three-fifteen, Samantha and Mike were ushered into Mr. Waldenas office by his thin, pinched-looked secretary. Through a process that Samantha found infuriating (Mike had sent Samantha off to the restroom while he sat on the desk of a very pretty receptionist, looked at her through lowered lashes, and asked her questions about Mr. Walden) they had found out that Walden was a criminal defense attorney; he took on the cases of the most reprehensible men and kept them out of jail. The receptionist had shuddered prettily as she described some of the underworld characters who sometimes came into the office. She said that Mr. Walden didnat seem to mind the fact that his brilliant defenses kept the most awful people on the street.
aUnderworld connections,a Mike said. aNo wonder Nelson knows him. Whatas wrong with you?a Samantha was walking beside him so stiffly that her legs hardly bent. aAbsolutely nothing is wrong with me. Why should anything be wrong with me? Just because you were looking down that womanas blouse is no reason for anything to be wrong with me.a Smiling, Mike took her arm and wouldnat let her move away. aShe had a nice pair ofa"a aIf you like cows!a Samantha said through clenched teeth, jerking her arm away and walking ahead of him.
When they were ushered into Waldenas office, Samantha was angry and Mike was chuckling. Mr. Walden, who was exactly as head been described, took one look at the two of them as they sat down and said, aI donat handle divorce cases.a With a laugh, Mike reached for Samas hand resting on the arm of the chair in front of Mr. Waldenas desk, but she s.n.a.t.c.hed it away. aActually, weave come here on another matter. Your name was given to us indirectly through Jubilee Johnson.a For just a second the expression of joviality on Waldenas face changed. It was odd to think of this man as a defender of criminals, because put a white wig and beard on him and a red suit and head be every childas picture of Santa Claus. aAh, yes, Jubilee. I hope heas well and his family is doing all right.a It was at that moment that Samantha saw Waldenas left hand. When shead entered the room, shead been so upset with Mike that she hadnat really looked at Mr. Walden or noticed much of anything about him except that he was such a pleasant-looking man that she immediately thought that he could know nothing about Maxie.
Now she was staring at his left hand. His hand had been tattooed a solid black from his wrist upward, covering his smallest finger and the one next to it, and those two fingernails were polished with black enamel.
aHalf Hand,a she whispered, because at first glance his hand looked as though half of it were missing. aHalf Hand,a she said louder, interrupting whatever Mike and the man were saying.
Stepping around the desk, Walden smiled at her, then held out his hand, palm down, and she took it in her own, looking at it. Releasing his hand, she looked up at him. aWho are you and what do you know about Maxie?a Mr. Walden chuckled, sounding like the man he resembled. aI was born with the name of Joseph Elmer Gruenwald 3d. Since my father was called Joe, I was called Elmer. Ugly name. Itas difficult to get ahead in this world with a name like that because you spend a lot of your life hearing jokes about Elmer Fudd. To counteract the name I think I spent a lot of time thinking about my gangster grandfather.a It was Mikeas turn to speak. aHalf Hand.a aYes,a Mr. Walden said. aHalf Hand Joe was my grandfather. My father was nine when Half Hand was killed and I think he glorified him. Rather than facing the facts that his father was nothing more than a hired killer, my father tried to make him into a hero, so I grew up hearing about how great Half Hand was.a He hesitated. aWhen Half Hand died, my father was given some money, but my grandmother went through it within six months.a Holding his left hand up, Walden studied it. aWhen I was sixteen, I got drunk for the first time in my life, and when I woke up I found that I had gone to a tattoo parlor and had this done to my hand in memory of my grandfather. When I was sober I wanted to have it removed, but my father said it was an omen.a When both Samantha and Mike looked puzzled at that, Mr. Walden chuckled. aMy dad had a rich fantasy life. He got married when he was little more than a kid and I was soon on the way, so he never had a chance to go to school. After he saw my hand, he said I was destined to become an attorney and save men like my grandfather. I donat know how a sixteen-year-old with a h.e.l.lacious hangover and a tattooed hand equaled attorney to my father, but the whole scheme sounded good to me. I went to law school thinking that I was going to be spending my life saving misunderstood men and women, but I find that I defend the dregs of humanity.a His words and his expression were at odds with each other, for he looked well pleased with himself.
aWhy?a Samantha asked.
aMoney, my dear. The sc.u.m-of-the-earth wouldnat do sc.u.mmy deeds if it didnat make them a lot of money, and defending them has made me a rich man. My parents lived in a two-room apartment with five kids. I have a penthouse on Fifth Avenue and an estate in Westchester. Iave sent my four daughters to Ivy League schools, and my wife has her clothes made for her in Paris.a He smiled at the innocence of the two handsome young people before him, for their faces were readable, telling him that they would never sell their souls for money. But, then, from the looks of the way they were dressed and from the way they carried themselves, neither of them knew what it meant to be hungry or cold or have the landlord evict them in the middle of the night for nonpayment of rent. His daughters were like this pretty little Samantha, well groomed, well fed, not haunted by memories of poverty. Inadvertently, the garbage he defended had done this good deed and helped put something clean and good on earth.
aWhen I was twenty-one, I changed my name to H. H. Walden, a nice WASP name that I used all through law school. It helped me with the blond tennis players, and later, I could tell the b.u.ms I defended that the H. H. stood for Half Hand, so it helped me there too.a aBecause they had heard of Half Handas lost three million,a Mike said, making Walden smile.
aYouave done some searching, havenat you?a Mike told him about the biography he was writing and about Maxie being Samas grandmother. aWhat can you tell us about her?a he asked.
aNothing,a Mr. Walden said, his eyes locked with Mikeas and never flinching.
A practiced liar, Mike thought. aNot even the name of the nursing home sheas in?a Mike asked. aDo you have any idea whoas paying her bills?a At that Walden put his head back and laughed uproariously. aCaught me, did you? Yes, I know where Maxie is, but Iam not paying her bills. If you want to know that, you should ask her where the money comes from.a aShe pretends sheas someone named Abby and wonat even admit sheas Maxie.a aAh, well, thatas understandable. Sheas probably afraid for the young lady here, afraid Doc will do something to her, or if not Doc, then someone else. The legend of Half Handas money is still alive in some circles. Of course, you do know that her name really is Abby, donat you? No? Itas Mary Abigail Dexter. When she signed on with Jubilee to sing in his club, she initialed the contract, but instead of using her initials of M.A.D., she wrote M.A.X. Jubileeas bookkeeper, who needed gla.s.ses, thought her name was Maxie and the name stuck.a Mike gave Walden a hard look, for he had a feeling the man was withholding information, information that he had no intention of telling them. aSomeone broke into an upper floor of my house and tried to kill Samantha.a Walden didnat so much as blink, but then he lived with death and murder and mayhem on a daily basis. aDid they now? You catch him?a aNo,a Mike said tightly. aYou have any idea who it could have been? Someone you know?a Walden smiled. aIt could have been any one of thousands of people I know. There isnat a person Iave defended who isnat capable of climbing into a window and trying to kill a pretty girl. You just have to tell me a time and a place, and I can match a murder with it.a Samantha opened her mouth to speak, but Mike beat her to it.
aFebruary 1975, Louisville, Kentucky,a Mike shot out, but he didnat turn to look at Samantha who was glaring at him. That was the time and place when her mother had died.
aIad like to go now, Mike,a she said softly, but Mike kept looking at Walden and didnat move from his chair.
After looking from one to the other of them, Walden punched a b.u.t.ton on his phone and told his secretary that he wanted anything she had for the date and place Mike had given him. aShe has everything on computer so it should take only a minute,a he said into the silence that had developed after Mike asked his question.
For five long minutes he sat back in his chair and looked at the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on besides the writing of a biography. He wondered if they knew the full extent of what a nasty creature Doc was, or if they thought he was a sweet old man merely because he had defied the devil long enough to reach the age of ninety-something.
When his secretary placed a single fat file folder on his desk, Walden leaned forward.
aAh, I remember this creep well. He went to the gas chamber about ten years ago and never was there a more deserving occupant. I defended him, but I was glad to know that there was no way I could win the case. On the night before he was executed, he asked me to come to his cell so he could tell me all about his life. Iad like to tell you that he was remorseful, but he said he wanted me to write everything down so he could be put on TV or in the movies like Al Capone was.a Walden flipped through the pages of notes. aI wasnat going to tell him that Iad die before I made him into a folk hero, but I recorded everything he said in case I later had someone accused of something head done.a Running his finger down the pages he said, a1975. Ah, here it is. My, my, but he was busy that year. Four, no five killed by him, all of them gang members. No, wait, hereas one.a Glancing up at Mike, he said, aLouisville, Kentucky. February.a He looked back down at the pages. aNasty, nasty, this one. Good lord! I had forgotten about this. He was looking for Half Handas money. I think someone hired him but he wouldnat say if he was hired or on his own. I think he wanted me to think he was smart enough to kill people without someone else telling him who, what, and where.a aWhat did he do?a Mike asked quietly aHe killed a woman. He said he had a tip that someone in her family knew about Half Handas money, so he went to Louisville, kidnapped the woman, and tortured her a while to get her to talk. Letas seeaHe held her against a hot radiator, but when he realized that she didnat know anything, he took her out and ran her over with his car. He bragged about how the woman begged him not to hurt her little girl, so after he killed her he stayed in town a few weeks and talked to the kid and asked lots of questions to see if she or her father knew anything. He decided they didnat, so he left town.a H.H. looked up at the two of them. A moment before they had been healthy-looking and pink fleshed, but now they appeared pale and sickly. The man reached out and took the womanas hand where it was gripping the chair arm, and it was then that H.H. realized that the tortured woman was probably this young womanas mother.
aIaIaa he began, and H. H. Walden, the man who was never at a loss for words, could think of nothing to say.
Mike stood up. aMr. Walden, thank you so much for your help. I think weall leave now.a aLook, Iam sorry I told you that story. I didnat meanaa There was nothing else he could say as he watched the two of them leave his office.
aAre you all right?a Mike asked when they were on the street.
Samantha nodded. aFine. Really, Mike, Iam fine, but I think Iad like to take a little walk now. By myself. So Iall see you later.a aAre you sure?a aAbsolutely.a When he continued looking at her anxiously, she gave him a rea.s.suring little smile and put her hand on his arm. aMike, it happened a long, long time ago. Iave had many years to get over my motheras death, and it really doesnat matter how she died. Dead is dead, whether it was an accident or murder. Iad just like to be alone now. Maybe Iall go to a church for a while.a With a little squeeze on his arm and another little smile, she turned away.
Mike caught her arm and spun her around. She was a good actress, he had to admit that, and if he hadnat known what shead just found out, head never have known she was suffering. But he was beginning to know Samantha, know her well. Most of her life had been spent keeping grief and despair to herself, sharing it with no one. aYouare going with me.a aNo, Iaa She tried to get away from him, but he caught her arm and held her to him.
Curling his bottom lip around his teeth, he gave a piercing whistle that made a cab come screeching to a halt. Mike opened the car door and pushed Sam inside. When she tried to speak to him, he told her to be quiet. As they neared the house, he took her chin in his hand and turned her face to the light to look at her. Her skin was pale and clammy to the touch; her breath was uneven.
When the cab stopped, Mike paid and got out, pulling Sam behind him as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, half carrying her when she couldnat keep up with him. Shoving the key into the lock, he flung the front door open and once inside, he ran with her toward the bathroom.
He barely made it before Sam began vomiting into the toilet. With one big hand on her forehead, the other arm wrapped around her ribcage, he held her while she heaved and heaved and heaved, her stomach convulsing, jerking in its attempt to bring up more. When there was no more, when she was hanging over the bowl with her stomach moving in spasms, he went to the sink and soaked a washcloth in cold water, then pressed it to her forehead as he flushed the toilet and put the lid down.
He had to help her off the floor to sit down. aIam fine,a she whispered. aReally, I am.a aLike h.e.l.l you are.a Leaving her alone for a moment, he got her some orange juice, then had to make her drink it. aAnd this.a He held out a mint and when she shook her head no, he squeezed her chin and popped it into her mouth.
Taking the washcloth from her, he rinsed it, wrung it out, and wiped her hot face. What did one do in situations like this? he wondered. How did one deal with such devastating news as Samantha had just received? He tried to imagine how head feel if head just been told that his mother had been tortured and killed at the whim of some criminal who thought she might know where some money was.
aWhen you were a child,a Mike asked, tenderly stroking her hot face with the cool cloth, aand you were sick, who took care of you?a aMy mother,a she whispered.
aAnd after you were twelve?a Pausing in wiping her face, he waited for her answer, but she gave none.
Sam turned her face away. aI think Iad like to lie down now,a she said as she started to rise.
aGo to bed? By yourself?a aMike, please. I really donat want toa"a He would not allow himself to be angry because she seemed to think that head demand s.e.x from her at a time like this. Remembering that shead said that when she found out her father was dying all she wanted to do was go home to her husband and have him hold her, he caressed her cheek. But her husband hadnat been there when shead needed him, and after her mother had died and shead needed her father, head failed her too. Mike thought that it was time that a man didnat fail her. aSam-Sam, Iam not going to leave you alone. Your father may have left you alone to be an adult, but Iam not going to.a Picking her up in his arms, cradling her like a child, he started out of the bathroom.
aPut me down,a she said, struggling against him.
Stopping in the hallway, he looked down at her. aIam not going to allow you to be alone. Call me autocratic, call me a male chauvinist pig. Call me whatever you want, but tonight you arenat going to be alone. This time you arenat going to have to deal with death by yourself.a When she pushed against him, he pulled her closer. aYou arenat big enough to fight me.a He started walking, not toward his bedroom as shead thought he meant to, but toward the back garden, and as he walked, he pulled an afghan from the back of a chair. When he was in the garden, he sat with her on a chaise, holding her on his lap as though she were a child, and put his hand on the side of her head as he pulled her head down to his shoulder.
aTell me about your mother,a he said.
Burying her face in the muscle of his shoulder, Sam shook her head. Right now the last thing in the world she wanted to think about was her mother, about her mother being held to a hot radiator, her mother begging for the safety of her child.
aWhat was her favorite color?a He waited, but when Sam didnat speak, he said, aMy motheras favorite color is blue. She says itas the color of peace, and with all of us kids peace is what she most wants in life.a Sam was silent as he tucked the afghan over the two of them. It was a balmy, warm day, but Samas shock had made her body cold to the touch, as though all her warming blood had retreated to somewhere deep within her. Stroking her damp hair back from her temple, Mike pulled her closer, trying his best to cover all of her with his own body. He didnat know why he was so adamant about it, but he felt it was imperative that he get her to talk.
aDid your mother sing to you?a he asked. Sam didnat answer. aDid I ever tell you that my great-great-grandmother was a famous opera singer? She was called La-Reina. Ever hear of her?a Sam shook her head no.
aMy father has some records she made. Pretty good voice if I do say so myself. It amazes me, though, that no one in my family can sing a note. Not fair, is it?a She was silent as he rubbed her back and held her so very tightly, so very securely to his big body. Samantha remembered what she had worked so hard not to remember: No one had held her after her mother died. After her motheras death, her father had spent three years sitting in a darkened room. Most days he didnat bother to shave or change out of his bathrobe, and he ate only enough to keep himself alive. Sam had done her best to cheer him up, but whatever she did, she never allowed him to see her own loneliness. She had never let him see her own sadness, never let him know how much she needed him, and how much she missed her mother.
aYellow,a Sam whispered. aMy mother liked yellow.a Mike held Samantha for hours as she talked to him and told him about her mother and about how much her mother had meant to her. Remembering the story shead told him about her father and her being like clocks that ran down after Allison Elliot died, Mike began to hear something else in Samanthaas words: She blamed herself for her motheras death. Shead said that to him once, that she had killed her mother with her demands to go to a childrenas party, but shead covered herself by saying that she knew that wasnat true. He now realized that had been an intellectual response. On a gut level, Samantha really and truly thought her motheras death was her fault. Whatas more, she thought that her father also believed she was responsible. Why else had Dave shut her off, not looking at his only child, not talking to her, not comforting her? The selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d! Mike thought. Head thought only of his own grief and not his daughteras.
After Kaneas wife had died, Kaneas grief had debilitated him, but head done his best to be there for his boys whoad waked in the night crying for their mommie.
But Samantha hadnat cried and she wasnat crying now. She was pale and cold and so weak she could hardly move her hands, but she was dry eyed. Denying herself the release of tears was the way she had punished herself for causing her motheras death and her fatheras grief.
aAs a child I was a terror,a Sam was saying. aI was selfish and demanding and always had to have my own way. Once my mother bought me a beautiful pair of blue velvet shoes, and I was so rotten, I wouldnat even try them on. Iad wanted red patent leather shoes.a aWhat did your mother do?a aShe told me that she was not going to drive all the way back downtown to purchase different shoes for me. She said she was not raising a prima donna and that I was to take what I could get.a aDid you get your red shoes?a he asked softly, already hating this story. It was the third one shead told in which her normal, childish selfishness was blown up into making Samantha sound like a child demon.
aOh yes. The next day, I told my mother how pretty her hair was and how blue her eyes were. I told her I was pleased she didnat look old like my friendsa mothers who were without exception fat and ugly. I told her she should dress like the beauty she was. She smiled at me and asked what I had in mind, so I told her I remembered seeing a dress on a mannequin in the window of Stewartas Department Store that would look fabulous on her.a aAnd she took you back downtown?a aShe said that such sincere flattery and such cleverness in trying to get what I wanted deserved to be rewarded, but she warned me that there had better actually be a dress in Stewartas window or Iad catch it.a aI guess there was.a aI sweat all the way downtown. I was afraid Stewartas would have a display of menas clothes only, but they didnat let me down. I got my red shoes and Mom got a new dress.a Samantha was silent for a moment. aIt was the dress she was buried in.a Mike continued holding her, continued stroking her hair, continued listening to one story after another, but with each story his resolve hardened. Blair had suggested that Samantha go to therapy. For what? So some guy could tell her over and over that it wasnat her fault that her mother died? Tell her that her fatheras depression wasnat her fault? It was going to take more than words to make Sam actually believe that what had happened wasnat her fault.
Somewhere in one of her stories she mentioned how her father had brought Richard Sims home for her to meet. It took Mike a few questions to realize that shead married him mainly because her father seemed to have wanted her to. And why not? Shead dedicated her life from the age of twelve to twenty-three to her father in an attempt to make it up to him for what she thought shead done to him, so why not marry to try to please him?
Her fatheras attorney had said that Sam gave up all her outside life to spend time with her father and help him with his depression. Sam had been so isolated during that time that the attorney thought maybe Samantha had been the victim of incest, but he hadnat wanted to get involved so he didnat really know for sure.
Alone from the time she was twelve, without her mother who had been, as far as Mike could tell, her best friend, Sam had had no one to turn to, but shead tried to be the best little girl in the world in an attempt to make her father love her again. It was understandable that shead marry whomever he wanted her to marry. Maybe marrying a man chosen by her father would make him love her again.
When Samanthaas marriage had turned sour, shead had no one to turn to. She couldnat very well call her father and tell him that the man head chosen for hera"and Mike found out that it was Dave Elliot who had funded Richardas share in the CPA office in Santa Fea"was using her like a pack mule. Since Sam had spent her childhood isolated and burdened with secrets, shead not learned how to make friends, friends she could tell her problems to.
Thinking back to the first month shead been in his house, he now understood her depression, understood why shead wanted to retreat into a room and never come out again. Retreat into her fatheras room, he thought. Her father had deserted her when he was alive, but maybe shead hoped to find him after he was dead.
Over and over again the question of what could he do went through his mind. What could he do to make Sam realize that her motheras death wasnat her fault? That Daveas depression wasnat her fault? Mike had heard that depression was anger turned inward. What could he do to make her turn that anger outward? He wanted to see her smash things, wanted to hear her curse her father for deserting her, wanted to hear her scream about what her ex-husband had done to her. He wanted to see her cry.
Getting up from the chaise, he carried her into the house. Samantha thought he was going to take her to bed, and she hoped he was because she was very, very tired. Instead, he started for the front door.
aWhere are we going?a she asked tiredly.
aIam taking you to your grandmother. I think itas time for the charade to stop; I think itas time for some questions to be answered.a
29.
I t was morning when Mike returned to Maxieas room at the nursing home. Not that head left the place last night. After head taken Sam to her grandmother last evening, head told Maxie that she was to tell Sam the truth. Mike had said that life was too short, too much an unknown, for the two of them to continue pretending not to know who the other was. Head been angry and he may have said some things he shouldnat have, but Sam needed her grandmother for as long as she had hera"and Maxie needed Sam.
Head left them alone after that, and they had spent most of the night talking while Mike had spent the night, sleeping very little, on a hard cot in what was euphemistically called the aguest lounge.a Mike didnat know what they had talked about for so many hours, but every time he had checked on them throughout the long night they were still at it.
aHow is she?a Mike asked when he entered, looking at Sam curled into Maxieas arms. He hadnat shaved and he was still wearing the clothes, now rumpled, dirty, and wrinkled, that head worn when they saw Walden yesterday. Smiling, he looked at Samantha, sleeping the way one slept after great emotional trauma: with her mouth slightly open, her breath hiccuping now and then, her limbs as flaccid as an infantas.
Moving forward, Mike said, aHere, let me take her. Sheas heavy and your arm must be dead by now.a For a split second, Maxie gave him a look of such ferocity that he took a step backward. When he recovered himself, he grinned at her. aI guess sheas not too heavy after all.a Embarra.s.sed, Maxie chuckled. aNo, sheas not too heavy. I wish I could have held her when she was a child. I wish Iad been there aftera"a aAfter her mother died?a Maxie looked away, for she knew that Allisonas death had been her fault, for if she hadnat married Cal, the Elliot family would have had no connection with Doc and Half Hand.
aThe doctor gave Samantha a shot to make her sleep,a Maxie said. aHe didnat want to, but the other residents bullied him into it.a Smiling, she looked at Mike with love and grat.i.tude. aSince you bought the books and games and all the other things for this place, not to mention what you did for my room, I think these people would do anything for you. To them, youare a combination saint and superman.a aDonat let Sammy snow you. None of this has been my idea. Until I met her I led the quintessential life of a bachelor. I spent my days figuring out how to add more money to the already horrendous amount I have and my nights cavorting with one beauty after anothera"none of whom I gave a d.a.m.n about.a Stroking Samanthaas arm, Maxie put her hand to Samas cheek. Maxie looked older today than she had when theyad first met her, for what Samantha had told her yesterday about Allisonas murder had taken its toll on her. aAnd now your life is different?a Mike moved to stand by the bed so he could smooth the hair back from Samas forehead. aNow my life is very different. Now I feel as though it hasaThis is corny.a Maxieas eyes were bright, intense. aI like corny, especially when it comes to my granddaughter.a aNow I feel as though my life has a purpose. Does it make sense to say that I think Iave been waiting for Sam? And do you know something? I think her father knew that I was waiting.a aDavid,a Maxie said softly. aMy beautiful son.a For a moment she looked away, her eyes misty as she thought of all shead missed: her granddaughteras life, her sonas death. And if shead been there in 1975, it might have been her who was killed and not the mother of a young girl.
Picking up Maxieas hand from where it rested on Samas shoulder, Mike held it. aDave wouldnat let me meet his daughter. At the time I thought it was odd that he wanted me out of his house before she arrived, especially since head had me stay in her little-girlas room instead of the guest bedroom.a Mike paused for a moment because he understood that room now, understood that, for Dave, time had stopped on that cold February morning when his wife had been so brutally murdereda"and as a consequence, time had been made to stop for his feisty little daughter.
aDave chose Samanthaas first husband for her,a Mike said, looking Maxie in the eye.
It took a moment for her to understand what he was trying to tell her. aAnd you think he chose you for Sam, too.a It was a statement, not a question.
aYes, I do. Dave kept saying that he wanted to make up to her for what head done. I am ashamed to say that for a while I thought head molested her. Now I think he meant that head chosen the wrong man for her the first time. Looking back on it, I think Sam knew when she first met me that I was another arrangement made by her father, and I think thatas part of the reason for her initial hostility toward me. Her fatherad done a very bad job of choosing for her the first time.a Teasingly, Maxie smiled at him. aBut he didnat do such a bad job the second time?a Mike didnat return her smile. aHe almost made a very bad mistake. For the first month Samantha lived with me, I let her stay alone in her room. I donat know what would have happened if my friend Daphne hadnat pointed out that Sam wasawasaa He took a breath. aI think she may have been on the verge of suicide.a Rea.s.suringly, Maxie squeezed his strong, young fingers. aYouave made up for lost time.a Her voice brightened. aSo now that youare the rescuing hero, how do you feel? Like youave done a great, selfless deed?a At that Mike laughed so loud Samantha stirred in her sleep. aI did at first. At first I felt like a martyr. There I was helping her, saving her from herself, and the ungrateful brat wouldnat even go to bed with me to say thanks.a Maxie laughed. aYou solved that one, didnat you?a aShe solved it. She solved everything. Sheas made me see how lonely Iave been over the last years and how bored Iad become with everything. Sam looks at life as though all of it is new and wondrous. You should see her when she goes shopping. Itas the same ola stuff but to Sam itas as though sheas exploring a new planet. I guess n.o.body who has lived through what she has takes the good parts of life for granted.a He caressed Samanthaas cheek. aYou should have seen her at the picnic with my family. She fit in with them as though shead been born with them, and all the kids loved her. Kids donat like bad adults, they can sense them, but she and my baby sister had children all over them.a Stepping away from the bed, Mike examined a Victorian oil painting of an impossibly idyllic landscape, but Maxie could tell that he wasnat really looking at it. aDid she tell you about the picnic?a he asked.
aSome. She seemed to have had a wonderful time.a Even if Samantha had given Maxie a minute-by-minute account of the day, Maxie wouldnat have said so, because it was obvious that Mike wanted to tell her something and she wanted to hear what he had to say.
aI was furious with my mother for planning the thing because I knew, but Sam didnat, that Sam was being tested. Did she tell you that I have an identical twin brother?a aNo.a Looking back at Maxie, Mike grinned. aShe didnat tell you because itas not important to her.a For a moment he paused. aAll the things that have been important to other people about mea"maybe you could say the things that define who I ama"seem to mean nothing to Sam. She doesnat care about my money or that Iam one of a pair. Being a twin is great most of the time, but sometimes it feels as though youare not a unique person, that, unlike everyone else in the world, youare only half of a whole. One of the reasons I came to New York was because I was sick of living in my small town where even my own relatives constantly asked me which one I was.a Pausing for a moment, he ran his hand over the polished top of a cherry table. aThereas a saying in my family. Itas a stupid, ridiculous saying and I donat know how it got started, but it goes, You marry the one who can tell the twins apart.a When Mike didnat continue, Maxie looked at him, trying to figure out what he was saying. aYour family came here to see if Samantha could tell you from your brother? That was the test?a aIn a word, yes. About five years ago, my twin brother, Kane, called my mother from Paris and said head fallen madly in love with a beautiful young French woman and was going to marry her. My mother congratulated him, then got off the phone and told me to get on the Concorde and go to Paris to meet her. She never said the words, but then she didnat have to, because we both knew why I was being sent to France.a aYou were to see if your new sister-in-law could tell you from your brother.a aYes.a aAnd could she?a Maxie asked.
aNo. Kane didnat know I was coming, so I went to the address where he was staying and it turned out to be her parentsa house. I knocked, but no one answered so I walked to the back garden, and there she was, as beautiful as Kane had described her. But the moment she saw me she leaped out of her chair, ran to me, threw her arms around me, and gave me an incredible kiss. By the time Kane got there, she had my shirt half off.a aWas your brother angry to find you like that with his fiance?a aNo, weare not like that. He knew what had happened, but he would hardly look at me, because he also knew that she had not been able to tell us aparta"and she never could. Every time I was near her, shead ask me if I was Kane or Michael.a aWhat happened to her? You speak of her as though she were in the past.a aShe died in an accident, and Kane was devastated. He was crazy about her, buta"a aBut what?a Maxie asked.
aMy family never met her, but I think there was the feeling that shead died because she wasnat the right one for Kane, hisahis soul mate, so to speak.a aWhat happened at the picnic here?a Mike grinned at her. aSam knew my brother wasnat me. She knew it immediately, but I donat think Kane could really believe it. All day long he kept testing her. Head walk up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, but Sam wouldnat so much as look at his handa"she seemed to sense who he was, and shead say something like, aWhat do you want, Kane?a Shead say it in a rather nasty tone.a If possible, Mike grinned wider. aI donat think she likes my brother very much.a aWhat does he think of her?a Mike thought a moment and remembered seeing his brother watching Sam with his kids, remembered seeing him looking at her at the picnic. aIf I dropped dead tomorrow, I think my brother would ask her to marry him. No, I think head beg her to marry him.a Mike stuck his hands in his pockets. aKane has made me realize how lucky I am and how much I owe Sam. If she hadnat come into my life, I probably would have married someone like my last girlfriend, then drifted through life, not happy, not unhappy, but feeling vaguely unsettled.a Reaching out, Maxie took his hand in hers. aYou have answered a prayer for me. If I could have one wish, it would be to leave this world knowing that my granddaughter had someone to take care of her, someone to love her.a aYou donat have to worry about that. I love her more than I can understand. I canat remember what my life was like before I met her. Iave thought about it and I canat seem to clearly remember what I used to do with my time.a He smiled. aMaybe, as I said, I was just waiting for her to come to me, waiting for fatea"and David Elliota"to hand her to me.a Looking about the room, now filled with antiques, paintings on the walls, rugs on the floor, he gestured. aAll of this is her doing. You know what she does? About every ten minutes she tells me, aThank you,a and every time she says it, I feel guilty. All Iave done is hand over some money, which I can well afford, but she gives of herself. She gives to me, to you, to my lonely brother and his barbarian children. Even when she thought she hated me, she worried about me when my head was split open.a aSo what do you plan to do with her now?a aFirst on the list is to impregnate her.a Maxie laughed so hard her machine needle started bouncing back and forth, as though it too were laughing. aYou are a wicked young man.a aAnything like Samas grandfather?a His voice lowered. aAnything like Michael Ransome?a aHow long have you known?a aSince I got her clothes off of her, which, I might add, wasnat very long ago. She has the same birthmark on her shoulder that Uncle Mike had.a He gave Maxie a hard look. aHave you told her yet?a aYes, I told her. I told her everything she needs to know. I wish youad take her away. Take her to that town in Colorado of yours and keep her safe.a aWeare in too deep now. Too many people think that weare hot on the trail of Half Handas moneya"or whatever it is that people want from her. Samas mother wasnat safe in Kentucky and Sam wonat be safe in Colorado.a aWhat are you going to do?a There was fear in Maxieas voice.
aIam going to solve the mystery. Iam going to find out what happened that night. Iam going to find out the trutha"all of it.a
30.
F or three days Mike treated Samantha as though she were made of gla.s.s. She spoke only in answer to his questions, ate practically nothing, and had no interest in anything, not books, not computers, and, to Mikeas dismay, not s.e.x.
On the fourth day he couldnat stand it anymore and called in the heavy artillery: Kaneas sons. At six in the morning the door to the bedroom opened and both Sam and Mike were awakened by two flying bodies screaming, aSammy! Sammy!a Kane stood in the doorway watching them, Sam hugging the boys, who were filthy, and receiving wet kisses, while Mike was trying to keep booted feet out of his face.
aWhen do rehearsals start?a Kane asked.
At that question, Mike darted out of bed and quickly ushered his brother from the room. It was after Samantha had bathed the twins, fed them, and sent them into the back garden to play that she looked at Mike and said, aWhat rehearsals?a It was the first time shead shown interest in anything in days. Mike wanted to tell her, but at the same time he was afraid to tell her what he had in mind. He very well knew that head already burned his bridges behind him; he couldnat go back now.
aIave tried to think of what could be done to find out what happened that night in 1928,a Mike said. aI think peoplea"myself includeda"want to protect you, so they do their best to keep their knowledge to themselves. But Iave realized that you canat be protected until itas ended and it canat be ended until everything that happened that night is out in the open.a Samantha sat down at the table across from Mike and his brother and looked from one dark pair of eyes to the other. Speaking of hiding things, speaking of lying, she knew that thatas exactly what they were doing. aI want to hear all of it, every word, with nothing kept back.a Mike and Kane began to talk over the top of each other. aFrankas bought Jubileeas nightclub and Jeanneas already buying the stuff to redecorate it and Dadas going to lead the gangsters and Vickyas taking her vacation time to outfit everyone and Momas working on the food and youare going to sing with Ornette and H.H.as going to play his grandfather anda"a It was at the mention of her singing with Ornette that she stopped them and made them explain. Interestingly enough, it was Kane who did the explaining. She could see in Mikeas eyes that he was concerned about her reaction to his idea.
Kane, who, as far as she could tell, had been told everything there was to tell about what had happened with Doc and Maxie, told her that all the princ.i.p.als were lying. aJubilee wonat tell what he knows; H.H. wonat tell what he knows; Maxie is too afraid for you to tell; Doc tells but no one can believe him.a What Mike had come up with was a way to solve the riddle: He and his family and Sam were going to recreate the night of May the twelfth, 1928. They were going to rebuild and redecorate Jubileeas Place as it had been on the night of the ma.s.sacre, then reenact the entire evening, machine guns and all.
After his initial explanation, Kane sat back and listened to his brother further rationalize his idea to Samantha. The brothers had talked well into last night, with Mike explaining about Samanthaas life, how Samantha had been such a good little girl since her mother died, a dear child who never caused anyone any bother, never asked anyone for help, and, as a consequence, had never been helped. She had done everything she could to gratify her father, even marrying a man she now knew she had never really liked, and shead gone on to try to satisfy her husbanda"and become angry at herself, not hima"when she couldnat please him.
Now Mike was telling Samantha that he wanted to recreate what happened on that night so long ago so he could complete his book, but the truth was, Mike was hoping to shock Samantha into facing what had been done to her. He wanted to shock her into expressing her sorrow, her grief, and, most of all, her rage.
After Kane was told what had happened to Samanthaas mother, Mike said that after each of these horrifying revelations, Samantha would retreat into herself for a while, then after a few days, shead act as though nothing had changed. For years the events of Samanthaas life had been an endless list of disastersa"a list that was now so long that most people could not have survived it. Yet Samantha not only survived, she went about her daily life as though nothing had happened to her. Mike had said he felt sure that if his only goal was to find out what transpired that night, Maxie could tell them everything, but Mike had a vision of Sam sitting primly in one of the little suits she was so proud of and silently listening to yet another story of unspeakable tragedy, then getting up and saying, aWhere shall we go for dinner tonight?a No matter what Maxie told Sam, no matter the depth of the evil described, Mike was sure Sam would internalize the information, suppress what she felt about it, and continue with her life, apparently unaffected.
Mikeas fear was that someday, maybe twenty years from now, she was going to be like those women in the papers who at fifty, after a seemingly normal life, suddenly became suicidal. If they endured, they had to at last confront abominations that had been inflicted upon them during their childhoods, incidents they had forbidden themselves to see when they were happening.
Mike was afraid for Samantha, afraid of what would happen to her if she didnat release the rage that had to be seething within her. Mike feared that, like a volcano, if Sam didnat explode now, she would later. The only fact for certain was that eventually Samantha had to release what she had repressed for so many years.
So Mike had planned this reenactment, telling Samantha that the reason for it was that he wanted to know what had transpired that night, but Kane well knew that if it were up to Mike, head walk away from all of this, content to never again hear the name of Doc or even of Maxie. Long ago Mike had lost the desire to know what had occurred so many years ago; now his only concern was Samantha and her future well-being. Mikeas feeling was that if there were any way in the world to help Samantha and to give her what she needed, then he was going to do it, no matter what the expense, the time involved, or the people he had to recruit to help him.