Swell Foop

Chapter 22

"No you don"t, Trojan!" Breanna said. "I said I"d protect him, and I will. Let him be."

The gaze swung like a cannon to bear on her. She would never admit it, but the Night Stallion was a terrifying apparition. "By what power do you seek to oppose my will in my domain, black girl?"

"By the force of logic, and the need of Xanth," she said more stoutly than she felt. "And by this." She lifted her left hand to show the Ring of Fire on her little finger.

Trojan stared at it. As if in response, the Ring sent out a coruscating little loop of fire.

"That is the Ring of Fire," Trojan said. "How came you by it?"



"It"s a long story, Stallion. Why don"t you just take my word that we also need the Ring of Void, and let it go at that?"

"Then again, perhaps it is a fake." Trojan swung back to Putre. His eyes turned deadly.

Help, Breanna thought to the Ring.

There was a cloud of smoke. In a moment it coalesced into the Demon Professor Grossclout. "It is the Ring," the Professor said through his glare. "This girl has important business. Sim Bird is part of it, by leave of his mother and nanny; indeed, he holds the Ring of Air."

Trojan paused, then nodded. The Night Stallion, like all the major figures of Xanth, was sworn to protect and support the Simurgh"s chick. "So I see. I will postpone this matter for the duration."

"Thank you." Grossclout faded out.

Breanna was impressed in spite of herself. Evidently the Demon Professor had been watching, or was attuned to the Ring of Fire, or both. Certainly he had made the difference; no one had ever defied him and survived to speak of it. Except maybe D. Metria, but she didn"t count.

"So what is your business?" the Night Stallion inquired, suddenly ignoring Putre.

"The Demon Earth has been abducted, we think, and we need to get the Swell Foop to rescue him."

The dark horse gazed at her for more than an instant. "You already have the other Rings of Xanth?"

"Yes. One person per Ring. But we need to find out who is to go after the Ring of Void, and we think you are the one who will know."

"This may be complicated. You were supposed to have six persons in your Ring group."

"We forgot," Breanna said, embarra.s.sed.

"Normally you would fetch the Six Rings of Xanth, then select one of your number to fetch the Foop."

"We"ll still do that, once we have the sixth Ring."

"No. Normally your sixth member would fetch that Ring."

"I know that," Breanna said, getting edgy. "First we have to find that sixth member. That"s why I"m here."

The Stallion flashed her a glance of impatience. "Because you did not bring a sixth member, who would have oriented on the sixth Ring, you have forfeited that choice. Now you must orient directly on the Swell Foop."

"I don"t understand."

"Fortunately I do. Your sixth member must select himself by naming the Swell Foop. Then you must recruit him for the mission, and he must fetch the Ring of Void. Because of your prior dereliction you will not be able to discuss this in advance; you must have that particular person, or all is lost."

Breanna gulped. "But what if he doesn"t want to do it?"

"That is why it would have been better to have had six in your group at the start; you would have known that all were committed. Now you must take the chance that your designated sixth member is not committed. The Rings respond to the sense of mission; that is why each of you had no trouble taking them, once you located them. This new person must develop that sense of mission. You must gamble on your persuasive abilities."

Breanna thought of Justin. "I can be persuasive when I have to be."

The Night Stallion looked down his long nose at her. She didn"t like that, because it made her feel exactly as stupid as she thought she was. "The designated sixth may not be romantically inclined. In fact, he can be any creature. Suppose he is a dragon? An ogre? A c.o.c.katrice?"

This was looking worse. "I"ll summon a demon if I have to, to help persuade him."

"You may have to. In fact, he may be a demon. I hope you succeed."

"Yeah, sure," she said wryly. Actually, she was pretty sure it wouldn"t be a demon, because demons weren"t mortal.

"I have no interest in seeing Xanth destroyed by lack of gravity."

"For sure. We"ve got too many puns already."

He did not smile. "Now we must explore the dreams of the universe. The first who names the Swell Foop will be your designee."

"Got it," she agreed, gulping again. Why hadn"t they thought to have a compatible sixth member? She had any number of friends who would surely have served. Now they had to take whatever fate offered, and it might not be fun at all. A c.o.c.katrice, whose very glance was poisonous? Anything but that!

"I am inst.i.tuting the search of dreams. I regret that I am unable to search waking thoughts; those are not my department."

"Wait half a moment! How about day dreams?"

The Stallion paused half a moment. "Those belong to the Day Stallion."

"But we"ve got a representative here. Putre is the foal of the Day Stallion."

Trojan glanced at the zombie colt, who had been very quiet since obtaining his reprieve. "Very well; a broader search is best. Let him add his input, and it will include day dreams."

Breanna patted Putre on the shoulder. "See-you"re useful already."

"Thank you," his speech balloon wrote.

The search started. The chamber faded out, and they seemed to be in the center of a swirling universe. Voices came from near and far, all saying the same two words, but not together. "Swell." There were thousands of those. "Foop." There were only a few of those. It had to be the combination, in the right order.

The search ranged out, extending to the very fringe of Xanth. Then it fixed on one "Swell Foop!" A picture of the speaker formed: Cynthia Centaur, snoozing during the wait for Breanna"s return, dreaming of her mission. That was no good; she was already committed to the Ring of Water.

The search resumed. Now it went beyond Xanth, into drear Mundania. Breanna"s heart sank to the bottom of her chest. That was all they needed: a Mundane! Not that all of them were bad; she rather liked Edsel and Pia. But neither of them could do this; they were too busy with the environment, not to mention their new baby.

"Swell foop!" A second strike. The picture formed, establishing the context.

It was a girl of about fifteen, having a daydream. "I want it all in one swell foop, I mean fell swoop!" she exclaimed, laughing.

The swirling background faded. "There is your designee," the Night Stallion said.

"But she was only joking, making a play on words," Breanna protested.

"That does not matter. She dreamed the words."

"But I don"t even know where she is. Mundania"s a pretty big place. I ought to know; I lived there once."

"I can locate her," Putre"s balloon wrote. He concentrated. "She is Jaylin, in Hawaii, Mundania."

"Hawaii! That"s halfway around the world from the Xanth portal!"

Trojan nodded. "You had better get on it, before gravity fades."

Breanna sighed. "A trip to Mundania! That"s all I needed, on my wedding day." But she knew it had to be done. "I"ll have to get Mundane help. I don"t even have a Mundane ident.i.ty anymore."

"I suggest you gather some magic dust to take with you. The Rings of Xanth are self-powered and will work anywhere, but for any other magic you will need more. That may enable you to invoke a spell in an emergency."

"For sure! Thanks." She turned to Putre. "Let"s go."

"I will tell the Day Stallion to send a mare with a dream of your coming," Trojan said.

That set her back. "A dream to whom?"

"The Baldwin family. They live near the portal."

"Oh-Sean and Willow," she said, remembering. "Yes, that makes sense. Thanks."

The zombie horse carried her rapidly out of the dream and on to Centaur Island, and to the portal there. He knew about it because the day mares used it for day dreams destined for Mundania; Mare Imbri had told him. That was as far as he could go; he would have no reality in Mundania. "Thanks," she said. "You"ve been a big help so far, and we"ll need you later to find the Ring."

"I will be here," he agreed. "But first, you must fetch some magic dust."

"That"s right! I had forgotten." She foraged, putting some dust in the change purse of her handbag, which she no longer used for change. She should have thought to get some of the really intense dust from the Region of Madness, as that had many times the potency of dirt here at the fringe of the peninsula. But it could be complicated getting out of the Region of Madness with one"s sanity, no pun. This would have to do.

Then she pa.s.sed through the portal and was in Mundania. She looked back, and saw that she had just stepped out of a picture hanging on a wall. That was interesting! But she didn"t have time to admire the effects; she needed to get her mission done.

She was in a house, and it seemed to be empty at the moment. That was all right; she wasn"t here for any social call. She made her way outside.

"Yo!" a young man called. He had green eyes and blond hair, and looked to be about seventeen.

"You know me?" she inquired cautiously.

"Never saw you before in my life, dusky maiden," he said cheerfully. "But if you"re from Xanth, I"m here for you."

Still she hesitated, not trusting white-skinned Mundane teens. "Who are you and what do you want from me?"

"Fair enough. I"m David Baldwin. I was listening to music, just sort of drifting, and this notion came to me about a beautiful black sweetheart coming from Xanth to travel somewhere with me. After what my brother Sean found in Xanth, I just had to follow up."

"What did your brother find in Xanth?"

He shook his head. "I"ve told you more than enough to identify me. Now you tell me enough to identify you."

She considered, and concluded that this was fitting. Obviously he knew of Xanth, and had received an advisory daydream. "I am Breanna of the Black Wave, and your brother found Willow, the flying elf, and they fell in love. Now they visit Xanth and fly together. And that"s not all. He has seen her-" She paused, waiting for his response.

"Panties!" he exclaimed. "Okay, honey, you"re for real. Get in my car."

It had been a long time since she had been in a Mundane car, but memories were flooding back. Mundania did have its advantages, she had to admit.

David started the motor and drove out onto the highway that connected the chain of islands that was all that remained of Centaur Isle in Mundania. She saw the enormous sea on either side, and was duly impressed. "These are the-the Keys," she said, with another effort of memory. "Only they don"t lock doors. And the portal is on No Name Key."

"Right. Many folk think it doesn"t exist. But it does. When we crossed, it was right here, in a storm."

"A storm," she agreed. "Hurricane Happy Bottom."

"Only on this side it was Tropical Storm Glad a.s.s-I mean Gladys. It was weird at first; we looked out and saw a centaur. It took the parents some time to believe it, even with it right there before their eyes. But Mom took note when the first female centaur trotted up. I was twelve; I"d never seen architecture like that before. Not in living flesh, I mean."

Breanna was remembering the restrictive att.i.tudes of Mundanes toward things like bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s. It was all coming back. Centaurs had no hang-ups about body parts or natural functions. "Nymphs and trotting centaur fillies-your mother would have had a fit."

"Yeah, she did. Didn"t show it, though. But by the time we got home, she was getting used to Xanth." He glanced sidelong at her. "So are you going to show me yours?"

She understood him perfectly. But she needed his help, so she set him down politely. "I am betrothed, and soon to be married to the man I love. I am here purely on business."

He tried manfully to mask his disappointment. "So the part of the dream about traveling with me-it"s like riding in my car. Nothing else."

"You got it, David. But if it"s any consolation, my mission is extremely important, and you might consider it a privilege to be a part of it."

"What I"d like is a pa.s.s to Xanth, the kind that Sean got."

"I"ll see what can be done."

"Thanks. So exactly what is this mission?"

"I don"t know how much I should tell you. I guess it depends on how much you"re going to help."

"And how shut I can keep my mouth? You know, we don"t talk much about Xanth, outside of the house, because n.o.body"d believe us, and anyway we don"t want to get Willow in trouble. But my little sister Karen sure would like to go there again, and so would I. Why don"t you tell the parents, and then we"ll see who helps you how much."

"Fair deal," she agreed.

In due course they left the highway and the sea, and proceeded through the complicated city of Miami. At last they came to the Baldwin home. David ushered her inside. "This is Breanna of Xanth," he announced. "She"s here on business, and needs our help."

"You"re in the Xanth Xone!" a girl of twelve exclaimed. She had red hair and blue eyes and seemed to be full of energy. That would be the little sister.

"Yes, I have a leaf in the Magic Mesh of the O-Xone," Breanna agreed. "It"s sort of an interface with Mundania."

"I am Jim Baldwin," the man said. "This is my wife Mary, and our daughter Karen. Sean and Willow live separately, and you have already met David. How can we help you?"

Breanna told them enough of it so that they understood the importance of her mission. "So I have to go fetch Jaylin in Hawaii. I"m not sure how to do that. I was nine years old when I left Mundania, and I have no money or identification. But I have to get this done, because if gravity starts fading-"

"We understand completely," Jim said. "I think it will be best if David takes you there. He likes to travel, and it will be good experience."

"With such a nice young woman," Mary murmured. "From Xanth."

"Mom, she"s got a fiance," David said, pained. "She"s not like Willow."

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