"I see..."
Shino blinked and looked at Kyouji, he was looking at her with somewhat shining eyes. "Asada-san is amazing. You obtained that incredible gun... and your stats are like those guys with STR builds. I invited you to GGO, but you already left me far behind."
"...That"s not true. Shinkawa-san got to the semifinals in the previous preliminary tournament too. That fight was mostly luck. What a pity, if you had reached finals then you would have been able to enter the main tournament."
"No... I can"t. With an AGI build, without some extremely good luck with rare drops, this is as good as I"ll get. My stats placement was a mistake..."
While listening to Kyouji"s complaint, she frowned.
The other Kyouji, a character named "Spiegel", followed the AGI route, which focused on increasing the dexterity parameter and was popular early on.
This type of character used its overwhelming evasion and firing speed-in this case, rapid fire isn"t the gun"s actual firing speed, but the time needed to aim and for the Bullet Circle to steady-to destroy other character types. AGI builds held the advantage for half a year since the start of GGO. However, as new maps were conquered, they lacked the STR, the strength to equip the new weapons that became available, or the guns themselves became more accurate so evasion became less effective. Now, eight months after the beginning of service, AGI builds could not be called the main trend any longer. Even so, if AGI types managed to obtain rare, large caliber rifles specialized in firing speed, for example the "FN FAL" or "H&K G3", they could still do well as they are. The previous BoB 2nd rank player called "Yamikaze" was an AGI build-that said, he was beaten by the winner "Zekushiido", a balanced STR-VIT build. However- For Shino, stats and type related things were just "Character Strength". There was a more important factor which solemnly existed.
That is, a player"s own strength; their strength of heart. In her fight the day before yesterday, "Behemoth" usually had a calm composure when he moved, and above that he had the luxury to put on a half smile. The source of that man"s strength wasn"t his M134 Minigun, but his ferocious smile.
That"s why Shino couldn"t fully accept the way Kyouji said things were.
"Yes... That rare gun is very strong, although... There are strong people with rare guns, but not everyone with a rare gun is strong. Actually, about half of the thirty people who entered the previous tournament only used customized guns bought in shops."
"That is... Since Asada-san has that super rare gun, and above that you are a balanced STR build, that"s why you can say that. There really is a large gap in weapon quality..."
While watching Kyouji sigh and stir his coffee float, Shino realized that saying anymore would be useless, so she tried to end the topic.
"Then, Shinkawa-kun won"t be entering the next BoB?"
"...No. Even if I enter, it would be useless."
"I see... Well... you have studies too. You are going to the Prep school"s big test right? How were your mock exam results?"
Kyouji hadn"t gone to school since summer vacation, and it seemed he had considerable argument with his father over that incident.
His father runs a relatively large hospital, and so the second son Kyouji who was to succeed the family name had been strictly ordered to prepare for the medical department exams. The result of a very tense family meeting was, they would allow him to study at home, but in the year after the next, he must partic.i.p.ate in university entrance qualification examinations in order to enter the famous university"s medical department where his father graduated from without losing any time. That was their promise, as Shino had heard from him in the past.
"Ah... Yes."
Kyouji nodded and smiled.
"I am fine, I"m maintaining the rank I had while going to school. No problem, Ms. Instructor."
"Good."
Shino jokingly replied, also with a smile.
"Shinkawa-kun"s login time is incredible. I was a little worried. Whenever I went in you were always online."
"I study during the day time. Variation is very important."
"Since you spend so much time playing, you must make a lot of money-?"
"...That"s not true. It"s almost impossible for AGI builds to solo hunt now..."
Since the conversation mood became strange again, Shino hurriedly said.
"Well, making enough for the connection fee is fine...Sorry, I need to go home soon."
"Ah, I see. Asada-san makes her own dinner right? I would like to eat your food again, if possible."
"Ah, ye, yea, sure. Before that... I need to improve my cooking a little."
Shino started panicking again.
Just once, she had invited Kyouji to her home for dinner. Eating the meal itself was fun, but afterward when they were facing each other drinking tea, she felt Kyouji"s stare grow more intense, and she had a cold sweat. Even though he was an ultra net gamer and gun maniac, a man was still a man. In retrospect, she decided that inviting him to her single person home was a bit careless.
She did not hate him. Chatting with him was one of the few ways for her to relax in the real world. However, at the moment, she didn"t want to consider anything beyond their current relationship. Not until she can destroy the darkness deep within her heart, triumphing over that memory.
"Thank you for your hospitality. Also... really thank you for saving me. You were very cool."
Shino said while getting up. Kyouji was all smiles while he scratched his head.
"If I can always protect you that would be nice. That is... well, when you return from school... can I go pick you up?"
"N, no, it"s fine. I also need to become strong."
After hearing Shino"s laughing reply, Kyouji"s eyes shone once more and his puppy dog eyes disappeared.
Shino climbed the concrete staircase, tinged slightly black after soaking in years of rain.
The second door was the apartment house where Shino lived alone. She took a key from her skirt pocket and inserted it into the old electronic lock. After entering a 4-digit code in the small panel, she turned her key, and heard a metallic click.
She entered the slightly dark entrance way and closed the door with a hand behind her back.
She turned the deadbolt, and after confirming it was locked, she silently let out, "I"m home." Of course, no one answered her.
From the entrance area, a narrow, long s.p.a.ce extended about 3 meters. The right side was the apartment"s bathroom door; on the left side was a small kitchen.
She put the vegetables, tofu, and other things she bought from the supermarket into the refrigerator next to the sink, then she walked deep into the six tatami room, where she breathed a sigh of relief. As the last rays of sunlight shone through the curtains, she touched a wall switch to turn on the lights.
The room was nothing to be proud of. The floor was covered with vinyl tiles, and the curtains were a plain ivory color. Before the right-hand wall was a black pipe bed, further down on the same side was a similar dull, black colored writing desk, and against the opposite wall was a small chest and a bookshelf, in line. A full length mirror beside them was the main piece of furniture.
She put her school bag on the floor and removed her white m.u.f.fler. Taking off her coat, she placed it and her m.u.f.fler on a hanger, and put them into a small closet. She pulled the glossy, dark green scarf from her almost black colored sailor uniform, but while her left hand was pulling down the zipper, she stopped and looked at the writing desk.
After school today had been somewhat troublesome, but she managed to face Endou"s threats, so a little bit of confidence remained deep in her heart. True, she did fall into panic, but even so she stood her ground without running away.
And two days ago, inside GGO, she won a death match against the strongest enemy she had ever seen. She felt that her heart was forged in a remarkably strong fire.
Shinkawa Kyouji told her that Behemoth guy was invincible in a party fight. She felt that legend wasn"t exaggerated, as that man had released incredible pressure. During the fight, Shino/Sinon had resigned herself to defeat and death - however in the end, she had managed to obtain victory through her own strength.
Perhaps...
Perhaps, now, she would be able to face that memory, and force it to yield.
While not moving, Shino continued to stare at the desk drawer.
Tens of seconds later, she threw the scarf, still in her right hand, on the bed and quickly walked to the desk.
She took a few deep breaths to chase away the fear creeping up her spine.
She put her fingers on the third drawer"s handle and slowly pulled it open.
Inside were small boxes for organizing writing utensils and other related items. As she kept pulling the drawer out, what was behind the boxes was slowly exposed. As the box line ends, "that" shape appeared. Shining, dull black, was a small-toy.
It was a plastic model gun. But the make was very detailed, the tiny hairlines running on the surface gave the toy a metallic look.
She fought to calm her beating heart upon seeing that shape, and stretched out her right hand. Her trembling right hand touched the grip of the gun, held it, and then took it out. The profoundly heavy feedback. The freezing cold as if it sucked in all the cold air from the room.
This toy gun was not a model of any existing, real world firearm. The grip was shaped in an ergonomic curve, and above the large trigger guard was a high caliber gun barrel. It might be said to be a Bullpup[3] style gun, with the dull machine part with heat vents placed somewhere behind and above the grip.
The gun"s name was "Procyon SL", an optical gun in Gun Gale Online. Its category was handgun, but it could fire in full automatic, so it was a popular sidearm for fights against monsters.
Although Shino has a storage room in Gurokken, this thing that the real Shino holds, is not something she bought. It is not something that is sold in the market anyway.
It happened a few days after she entered the Bullet of Bullets tournament two months ago and lost with a rank of 22nd. Addressed to Shino"s game account was an e-mail in English from "Zasker", GGO"s operation company.
Though it took her some effort to interpret the contents, it seemed to be a BoB Partic.i.p.ation Award. She could choose to receive in-game currency or items, or a Procyon SL model gun in the real world, was what it seemed to say.
Even if it was a toy, she couldn"t stand receiving gun related items in the real world, so she initially decided to pick the in-game money. But then she thought of something.
In order to confirm the effect of her use of GGO as "drastic treatment", one day, she must touch a model gun in the real world. That said, for her to go buy a model gun in a toy shop would result in too much psychological conflict. If she asked Kyouji, he would probably happily lend her one, but she couldn"t stand the thought of going into panic while accepting it. Buying one on the net was probably her best choice, but looking at various gun pictures in the net shop would weigh her down, so she could never actually buy one. And, of course, there would be the problem of money.
If the GGO operation company sent her the model gun for free, that might be the best way for her. So, after being indecisive up until near the deadline, she chose to accept the Partic.i.p.ation Award in the real world.
A week later, the heavy International Postal Parcel (EMS) arrived.
It took her another two weeks to decide to open it.
However, her reaction to it at that time greatly betrayed her expectations. Shino had pushed it into the deepest part of her desk drawer and hid the memory in a corner of her mind.
And right now-Shino once again held Procyon in her hand.
The gun"s cold air pa.s.sed from her right palm to her arm, up to her shoulder, and seemed to seep deep into her body. It was only a resin model, but its weight felt tremendous. It should have been a handgun light enough to spin around with a finger, but she could only feel that it was a chain binding her to the floor.
The gun became warm, stealing the body heat from her palm. And in the cold and sweat soaked warmth, Shino felt another presence.
Who is that?
That is... that... man.
Her heart rate increased to a speed beyond her control. Cold blood coursed through her body, ringing loudly in her ears. She lost her sense of orientation. The floor under her feet tilted, losing solidity.
However, Shino could not remove her eyes from the gun"s black shine. She stared at it at closely as if it would swallow her up.
There was a ringing in her ears. It became a high-pitched scream. It was a small girl"s scream soaked with pure terror.
Who was the one screaming?
That was... me.
Shino did not know her father"s face.
It didn"t just mean she had no memory of her father in the real world. Just as the words said, Shino had not seen the person that was her father, not even in pictures or video.
When her father pa.s.sed away due to a traffic accident, Shino was not even two years old.
That day, the family of three, her father, mother, and Shino, had been heading to her mother"s parents" house to celebrate the new year. Their car had been driving near the northeast border of the prefecture, where an old, two lane road ran along a mountain side. Since they had left Tokyo late, it was around 11pm at night.
The cause of the accident was evidenced by the tire tracks at the scene: a truck coming from the opposite direction lost control of its steering on a curve in the road and crossed over into their lane.
The truck driver crashed through the front gla.s.s and hit the road, dying instantly.
Their small car was directly hit on the right side[4], was knocked through the guardrail, and rolled down the side of the mountain, only stopping when their car hit a pair of trees. At the time, her father, the driver, was unconscious from serious injuries, but still alive, while her mother sitting beside her father had a fractured left leg. Baby Shino in the backseat was tightly belted down and sustained almost no injury. However, she doesn"t have a single memory of that event.
Unfortunately, even the locals didn"t use that road too often, especially late at night, so there wasn"t a single car pa.s.sing by. Also, due to the crash, their car"s cell phone was broken.
By the time a driver on the old road noticed the accident and reported it the following morning, six hours had pa.s.sed.
During that time, Shino"s mother could only sit and watch while her father slowly became colder and eventually died from internal bleeding.
At that moment, somewhere deep within her mother"s mind, something broke.
After the accident, her mother"s mental state regressed to when she was a teenager and met Shino"s father. Shino and her mother left Tokyo and went to live with her mother"s parents. All her father"s belongings, and any pictures and video containing him, were gotten rid of by her mother, and she never mentioned any of her memories.
Her mother wanted peace and quiet, so she started living like a country girl. What her mother saw Shino as, she couldn"t be sure even 15 years after the accident; perhaps, she viewed Shino as her little sister. Even so, her mother still deeply loved Shino after the accident. She remembered her mother reading picture books and singing lullabies to her at night.
That"s why, in Shino"s memory, her mother was a frail girl who was hurt easily. Naturally, when she started to understand better, Shino thought that she had to become strong. She thought that she must protect her mother.
Once, when her grandparents were out, a very persistent salesman sat in the entrance, scaring her mother. So, the 9 year old Shino chased him away by telling him that if he did not leave, she would call the police.
For Shino, the outside world had many elements that threatened her mother"s peaceful life. I have to protect her, have to protect her, that was her single-minded thought.
That"s why-Shino thought back. That"s why that incident happened. In a sense, it was inevitable. Shino kept trying to keep the outside world far away, and so that malicious world came for revenge.
Shino, the eleven year old, fifth grader in elementary school, didn"t play outside often, usually opting to return home from school immediately and read books borrowed from the library. Her test scores were good, but she didn"t have many friends. She was especially sensitive to external interference; there was an incident where a boy played a harmless trick by hiding her indoor shoes, so she hit him for real and gave him a b.l.o.o.d.y nose.
It happened on a Sat.u.r.day afternoon, after the start of the second school semester.
Shino and her mother went to a nearby small post office[5] together. There weren"t any other customers.
While her mother filled out paperwork at a window, Shino sat on a bench, dangled her legs and read a book placed there for people waiting. She didn"t remember the t.i.tle.