Chapter 882 Not The Past, But The Future
"Is she the famous Anna Stargaze?"
"She shouldn"t be here."
"She must be trying to ruin everything. Don"t forget about that rumor, she was the one who requested the royal family to execute the former master and mistress, and she even tried to kill the current lord."
The people were discussing Anna"s appearance. Only a few people, like Dimitri and Rose, knew the truth.
Unfortunately for them, Noel had asked them to pacify the rest of the people while he dragged Anna to the house in the center of the village. They hadn"t specified the living quarters of the mansion and other things, so he just used the one in the middle to talk to Anna.
"Seriously… Do you even need to do something like that?" Noel let out a long sigh while closing the door. He even covered the windows with ice, preventing anyone from seeing or listening to their conversation.
"I have to. I don"t know if there are any spies or not. And I go all the way here with that kind of excuse, so I should at least put up that kind of show." Anna shook her head helplessly.
"Well…" Noel paused for a moment. "You"ve gotten good with your acting."
"Thanks to you." Anna chuckled while pointing at the table. "Why don"t we have a seat?"
"This is not going to be long. If we talk too long, people will suspect something." Noel rejected the invitation and asked, "Still, what are you doing here? I thought that staying with the royal family shouldn"t pose any problems for you, right?"
"Does that mean you don"t want me here?" Anna couldn"t help but furrow her eyebrows.
"Of course not. I don"t mind having you here. It"s just… you will be tired if you have to put up the act every single time." Noel explained his concern. It was rare that Noel was this considerate. In fact, she felt Noel had changed somehow.
"I…" Anna scratched the back of her head. She recalled what her father said back then and the realization that came afterward.
There was an urge to talk about everything, but the words stuck in her throat.
Just like Anna, his grandfather had also told him about his relationship. The reason why he never wanted someone to accompany him was because that person was bound to become a burden. What if he fell for someone and the royal family kidnapped that person to go against him?
However, Anna was different. Her strength, experience, and talent were far better than the rest.
Let alone protecting her, she might be the one shielding him. Even with this power, he didn"t know whether he could win against Anna or not. Though, he would probably become stronger than her when they both reached the limit of absorption of the Demon Crystals, considering his limit was twice of hers.
More importantly, he had experienced a lot with Anna. That memory stuck in his mind.
Noel recalled what his grandfather said about telling him that not all matters could be solved rationally. Sometimes, he just had to drop everything and do what his instincts and feelings told him.
After seeing her troubled face, Noel couldn"t help but say, "You see… I believe I haven"t asked you this question… Have I caused you any inconveniences like acting as enemies or other things… If you"re tired of it, then I have to apolog—"
"No!" Anna cut Noel"s words and raised her head. She had a hard time saying everything and ended up taking a few deep breaths.
Noel patiently waited for her. The current situation reminded him of Anna"s outburst when they were inside the previous Ardagan"s mansion. At that time, Anna was tired because everything she did was never considered by Noel. So, he wanted to know what Anna had to say this time.
"I…" Anna clenched her fists. Surprisingly, she lowered her head all of a sudden and finally said, "I"m sorry. In the past, you"ve never wanted me to say it, and the longer I wait, the harder it becomes for me to say it. But… sorry… I apologize for all my actions in the past. I had ordered the execution of your parents and the downfall of your families. Without me, your family would still be intact, and you wouldn"t have to endure all this hardship!
"It turned out… I was more selfish than I originally thought. Instead of asking for forgiveness, I turned out to be forcing you to change. Yes, instead of taking responsibility, I blamed everything on you.
"I thought that I had been considerate, but it appeared that you were more considerate. I simply used my strength to force you to be like that…"
Anna recalled what had happened in her previous life. With Noel"s schemes, there were a lot of times he could kill her. Yet, he didn"t do it. To put it simply, he had the strength to do it but chose not to.
On the other hand, the current Noel didn"t have the strength and was forced to abandon that thought. Of course, if one looked from her perspective, she also had the strength but chose not to kill him. But the problem came from her, not the other way around. Ultimately, it was her fault.
"I…" Anna walked closer to Noel while biting her lips. "I am sorry for ruining everything."
Noel was quite surprised that Anna would even say something like this. He froze, trying his best to come up with a reply.
Anna looked like she was tired of acting like this. She wanted to end everything and become his ally like Dimitri and the others instead of playing the villain role.
"It seems that I have put a big burden on your shoulders." Noel closed his eyes for a moment. "As you said earlier, my parents" execution tore me, and my exile broke me apart. When you came to the Demon Banner Army, the only thing I could think of was my revenge.
"But the longer I know you, the more I realize that you are just a human. Both of us have made a grave mistake in our lives.
"What if I actually pushed aside my laziness from the beginning and worked hard to become strong? Would my family get bullied to that extent? Would my father create this scheme?
"I have been thinking that… if our situation is different… if we were equal in the past, would all this happen?" Noel scratched the back of his head. "How do I say this… would there be a need for forgiveness if things went differently?"
Noel was wondering what would happen if he actually trained with Ardagan from the beginning. His family might even go beyond this, and his father wouldn"t have to create this scheme. In fact, he could openly form a connection with his best friend, Marquis Stargaze.
At that time, he and Anna might be best friends or even more.
Unfortunately, nothing could change the past.
"Now that you bring up this matter, I"ve actually realized something. I believe that… the past is fine as it is. After all, what actually matters is the future." Noel paused for a moment before asking, "If I forgive you right now, will it change the past?"
"…No." She shook her head helplessly.
"That"s why it doesn"t really matter anymore." Noel looked into Anna"s eyes and said solemnly, "What I despise is the Anna in the past. However, what I like is the current Anna… the current you. Whatever you"re doing right now won"t change the past, but it will definitely shape the future. Hence, I will say this to you. I will never forgive everything you"ve done in the past."
Anna"s body froze, thinking it was a rejection.
But Noel added, "However, I will put aside the grudge, the hatred, and the anger. Because this is the future I want to shape."
Anna"s eyes regained their light. She fully understood what he meant. As he said, no matter what she had done, it would never change the past.
With Noel"s words, he wanted both of them to put down the grudge, especially her guilt. After all, he wanted to create a future that completely wouldn"t happen unless she let go of the burden.
His words somehow gave her another realization, especially regarding her rebirth. Why would she go back to the past? Was it to fix everything?
No. She had never fixed anything. Everything that was broken would never be the same anymore, even if they managed to reattach every single piece.
But she could choose whether to throw it away or polish it to create something anew.
Yes, the most probable reason for her to return to the past might not be to fix the past; it was to create a new future.
"Noel… do you remember the bet we agreed on during that expedition…"
She must be talking about the bet about telling each other their secret, he thought. He was soon surprised that Anna hugged him all of a sudden.
"Eh?" Noel"s body shook while Anna buried her face in his chest out of embarra.s.sment while muttering, "I think… I"ve lost."