"When the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness--"
Tembarom took the open book which Miss Alicia had very delicately pushed toward him. He read the first words,--that was plain sailing,-- then he seemed to lose his place. Miss Alicia turned a leaf. He turned one also.
"Dearly beloved brethren--"
There you were. This was once more plain sailing. He could follow it.
What was the matter with Miss Alicia? She was kneeling again, everybody was kneeling. Where was the ha.s.sock? He went down upon his knees, hoping Miss Alicia had not seen that he wasn"t going to kneel at all. Then when the minister said "Amen," the congregation said it, too, and he came in too late, so that his voice sounded out alone. He must watch that. Then the minister knelt, and all the people prayed aloud with him. With the book before him he managed to get in after the first few words; but he was not ready with the responses, and in the middle of them everybody stood up again. And then the organ played, and every one sang. He couldn"t sing, anyhow, and he knew he couldn"t catch on to the kind of thing they were doing. He hoped Miss Alicia wouldn"t mind his standing up and holding his book and doing nothing. He could not help seeing that eyes continually turned toward him. They"d notice every darned break he made, and Miss Alicia would know they did. He felt quite hot more than once. He watched Miss Alicia like a hawk; he sat down and listened to reading, he stood up and listened to singing; he kneeled, he tried to chime in with "Amens"
and to keep up with Miss Alicia"s bending of head and knee. But the creed, with its sudden turn toward the altar, caught him unawares, he lost himself wholly in the psalms, the collects left him in deep water, hopeless of ever finding his place again, and the litany baffled him, when he was beginning to feel safe, by changing from "miserable sinners" to "Spare us Good Lord" and "We beseech thee to hear us." If he could just have found the place he would have been all right, but an honest anxiety to be right excited him, and the fear of embarra.s.sing Miss Alicia by going wrong made the morning a strenuous thing. He was so relieved to find he might sit still when the sermon began that he gave the minister an attention which might have marked him, to the chance beholder, as a religious enthusiast.
By the time the service had come to an end the stately peace of the place had seemed to sink into his being and become part of himself.
The voice of the minister bestowing his blessing, the voices of the white-clothed choir floating up into the vaulted roof, stirred him to a remote pleasure. He liked it, or he knew he would like it when he knew what to do. The filing out of the choristers, the silent final prayer, the soft rustle of people rising gently from their knees, somehow actually moved him by its suggestion of something before unknown. He was a heathen still, but a heathen vaguely stirred.
He was very quiet as he walked home across the park with Miss Alicia.
"How did you enjoy the sermon? " she asked with much sweetness.
"I "m not used to sermons, but it seemed all right to me," he answered. "What I"ve got to get on to is knowing when to stand up and when to sit down. I wasn"t much of a winner at it this morning. I guess you noticed that."
But his outward bearing had been much more composed than his inward anxiety had allowed him to believe. His hesitations had not produced the noticeable effect he had feared.
"Do you mean you are not quite familiar with the service?" she said.
Poor dear boy! he had perhaps not been able to go to church regularly at all.
"I"m not familiar with any service," he answered without prejudice." I never went to church before."
She slightly started and then smiled.
"Oh, you mean you have never been to the Church of England," she said.
Then he saw that, if he told her the exact truth, she would be frightened and shocked. She would not know what to say or what to think. To her unsophisticated mind only murderers and thieves and criminals NEVER went to church. She just didn"t know. Why should she?
So he smiled also.
"No, I"ve never been to the Church of England," he said.
CHAPTER XIX
The country was discreetly conservative in its social att.i.tude. The gulf between it and the new owner of Temple Barholm was too wide and deep to be crossed without effort combined with immense mental agility. It was on the whole, much easier not to begin a thing at all than to begin it and find one must hastily search about for not too noticeable methods of ending it. A few unimportant, tentative calls were made, and several ladies who had remained unaware of Miss Alicia during her first benefactor"s time drove over to see what she was like and perhaps by chance hear something of interest. One or two of them who saw Tembarom went away puzzled and amazed. He did not drop his h"s, which they had of course expected, and he was well dressed, and not bad-looking; but it was frequently impossible to understand what he was talking about, he used such odd phrases. He seemed good natured enough, and his way with little old Miss Temple Barholm was really quite nice, queer as it was. It was queer because he was attentive to her in a manner in which young men were not usually attentive to totally insignificant, elderly dependents.
Tembarom derived an extremely diluted pleasure from the visits. The few persons he saw reminded him in varying degrees of Mr. Palford.
They had not before seen anything like his species, and they did not know what to do with him. He also did not know what to do with them. A certain inelasticity frustrated him at the outset. When, in obedience to Miss Alicia"s instructions, he had returned the visits, he felt he had not gone far.
Serious application enabled him to find his way through the church service, and he accompanied Miss Alicia to church with great regularity. He began to take down the books from the library shelves and look them over gravely. The days gradually ceased to appear so long, but he had a great deal of time on his hands, and he tried to find ways of filling it. He wondered if Ann would be pleased if he learned things out of books.
When he tentatively approached the subject of literature with Miss Alicia, she glowed at the delightful prospect of his reading aloud to her in the evenings-- "reading improving things like history and the poets."
"Let"s take a hack at it some night," he said pleasantly.
The more a fellow knew, the better it was for him, he supposed; but he wondered, if anything happened and he went back to New York, how much "improving things" and poetry would help a man in doing business.
The first evening they began with Gray"s " Elegy," and Miss Alicia felt that it did not exhilarate him; she was also obliged to admit that he did not read it very well. But she felt sure he would improve.
Personally she was touchingly happy. The sweetly domestic picture of the situation, she sitting by the fire with her knitting and he reading aloud, moved and delighted her. The next evening she suggested Tennyson"s "Maud." He was not as much stirred by it as she had hoped.
He took a somewhat humorous view of it.
"He had it pretty bad, hadn"t he?"" he said of the desperate lover.
"Oh, if only you could once have heard Sims Reeves sing "Come into the Garden, Maud"!" she sighed. "A kind friend once took me to hear him, and I have never, never forgotten it."
But Mr. Temple Barholm notably did not belong to the atmosphere of impa.s.sioned tenors.
On still another evening they tried Shakspere. Miss Alicia felt that a foundation of Shakspere would be "improving" indeed. They began with "Hamlet."
He found play-reading difficult and Shaksperian language baffling, but he made his way with determination until he reached a point where he suddenly grew quite red and stopped.
"Say, have you read this?" he inquired after his hesitation.
"The plays of Shakspere are a part of every young lady"s education,"
she answered; "but I am afraid I am not at all a Shaksperian scholar."
"A young lady"s education?" he repeated. "Gee whizz!" he added softly after a pause.
He glanced over a page or so hastily, and then laid the book down.
"Say," he suggested, with an evasive air, "let"s go over that "Maud"
one again. It"s--well, it"s easier to read aloud."
The crude awkwardness of his manner suddenly made Miss Alicia herself flush and drop a st.i.tch in her knitting. How dreadful of her not to have thought of that!
"The Elizabethan age was, I fear, a rather coa.r.s.e one in some respects. Even history acknowledges that Queen Elizabeth herself used profane language." She faltered and coughed a little apologetic cough as she picked up her st.i.tch again.
"I bet Ann"s never seen inside Shakspere," said Tembarom. Before reading aloud in the future he gave some previous personal attention to the poem or subject decided upon. It may be at once frankly admitted that when he read aloud it was more for Miss Alicia"s delectation than for his own. He saw how much she enjoyed the situation.
His effect of frankness and constant boyish talk was so inseparable from her idea of him that she found it a puzzling thing to realize that she gradually began to feel aware of a certain remote reserve in him, or what might perhaps be better described as a habit of silence upon certain subjects. She felt it marked in the case of Strangeways.
She surmised that he saw Strangeways often and spent a good deal of time with him, but he spoke of him rarely, and she never knew exactly what hours were given to him. Sometimes she imagined he found him a greater responsibility than he had expected. Several times when she believed that he had spent part of a morning or afternoon in his room, he was more silent than usual and looked puzzled and thoughtful. She observed, as Mr. Palford had, that the picture-gallery, with its portraits of his ancestors, had an attraction. A certain rainy day he asked her to go with him and look them over. It was inevitable that she should soon wander to the portrait of Miles Hugo and remain standing before it. Tembarom followed, and stood by her side in silence until her sadness broke its bounds with a pathetic sigh.
"Was he very like him?" he asked.
She made an unconscious, startled movement. For the moment she had forgotten his presence, and she had not really expected him to remember.
"I mean Jem," he answered her surprised look. "How was he like him?
Was there--" he hesitated and looked really interested--"was he like him in any particular thing?"
"Yes," she said, turning to the portrait of Miles Hugo again. "They both had those handsome, drooping eyes, with the lashes coming together at the corners. There is something very fascinating about them, isn"t there? I used to notice it so much in dear little Jem. You see how marked they are in Miles Hugo."
"Yes," Tembarom answered. "A fellow who looked that way at a girl when he made love to her would get a strangle-holt. She wouldn"t forget him soon."