Her eyes were filled with emotion. I swallowed hard, dropping my head. "If you"re asking me if things could be different, then yes." I squeezed her, placing a soft kiss to her temple. "I do wish there were ways we could make this work." Her eyelids sealed blissfully, pleased with my response.
Reality.
It always caught up to us somehow. Though she was satisfied with my answer, I knew it was dumb to say. Even if we wanted more, we couldn"t have it. There were some things I couldn"t claim, and me claiming Chloe as my own was one of them.
But I didn"t tell her that. I didn"t tell her because, even while I held her close and we watched the ocean and the seagulls pa.s.s by with distant caws, I knew I couldn"t ruin this moment right now.
This peace.
This bliss.
This beautiful girl between my legs, allowing me to kiss her. Allowing someone as myself to hold and protect her. She trusted me. She cared about me. I couldn"t break or demolish that.
But plenty of other things definitely could.
My phone vibrated on the table. I glanced back, brows drawing together. Placing a quick kiss on Chloe"s cheek before releasing her, I stood and walked to the table to pick up my cellphone. The name on the screen shattered all bliss. All peace.
Izzy.
Chloe walked towards me. "What is it?"
I swallowed hard, and when I turned to look at her, she immediately spotted the guilt in my eyes. Her entire demeanor changed. She no longer smiled. She couldn"t even look at me.
Instead, she turned around, gripping the silver railing and looking towards the sunset. I looked from her backside to my phone. I"d missed the call, but I knew I had to get home and call my daughter.
Guilt-ridden, I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She sighed, and when I turned her around to face me, her eyes were damp. "No, Chloe," I whispered, pleading. "Please, baby. Don"t cry."
"I-" Her mouth clamped shut in an instant. My heart ached, watching her struggle with words.
"Look at me." I picked her face up in my hands, and when our eyes met, her tears fell, skidding down her cheeks. With the pad of my thumb, I swiped them away. "It"s okay. It"s just a phone call. We can still spend time together, but we have to get back. I don"t have good service out here, and I should call her back before she gets worried."
d.a.m.n. When I actually listened to myself, it seemed like I was having an affair, not that I was speaking of my daughter.
She nodded, swiping her face. "I understand... this is just crazy, ya know?"
A soft laugh blew out. "Trust me. I know."
"Well-" She stood up straight, removing her face from my hands. With a kind smile, she said, "We should get out of here then. I should probably go shower too." Her nose scrunched, a soft smile on her twisted lips. There she was, the Little Knight that understood me. The one that knew this whole ordeal was what it was and there would be no changing it.
So, after helping her collect her things, I went to the wheel and sailed back to the docks. I drove Ol" Charlie back to Primrose, but Chloe was quiet during the ride. When we were in my garage, I kicked the kickstand and helped her off. She forced a smile, placing the strap of her tote bag on her shoulder.
I sat on the seat, unsure of where to begin.
Luckily, I didn"t have to. She started for me, face gentle. "I had fun today, Theo."
"Yeah," I sighed. "Me too. We should do it again." She thought on it, trying to figure out when exactly that would happen. I saw her conflict, how her eyes gave the internal debate away. "Anyway I"ll text you." I hopped off my bike, stepping in front of her.
She nodded. "Okay."
We stared at each other for a moment through the darkness. Nothing but the streetlights gave leeway for our vision. I could read her like a book. She was clearly upset, but was trying hard to hold onto contentment.
Stepping forward, I cupped one of her cheeks, and my mouth came above hers, but I didn"t kiss her. I lingered, and her hand came to my waist, body closer. We were like magnets, unwilling to break apart unless the cause was distance. "This doesn"t change anything," I said. "You"re still my Knight."
Her cheeks tugged up, eyes falling. "Go call Izzy," she teased, but the remorse was clear in her voice.
I brought my head down, and our lips molded. She released a sigh, her arms draping over my shoulders, fingers curling in my hair. I stumbled forward until her back hit the wall, but I didn"t dare stop kissing her.
She needed to know that we were okay. That nothing would change and we could still let this summer be.
She was still my girl.
My Little Knight.
My baby.
My air.
My beautiful savior. I say "savior" because if it wasn"t for her, I don"t think I would have wanted to keep living after Janet pa.s.sed.
If it wasn"t for her coming to check on me and helping me during the darkest, most desperate times, I wouldn"t have been there. I would have been gone a long time ago, drowning in sorrow or most likely dead.
My hands held her face, my groan deep. I didn"t want to stop kissing her-I could have all f.u.c.king night-but when my phone buzzed in my back pocket, I pulled back, cursing beneath my breath.
Her eyes sparkled as she ran her tongue over her swollen mouth. Pulling away, she tucked her hair behind her ears and then stepped aside. "You should get that."
I debated on going for another kiss and calling Izzy when I was done, or getting it now and watching her leave me with sullenness she didn"t need.
But I knew if I kissed her again, there would be no stopping. It would have gone further, and I would have taken her inside, going for another round. It would happen because I could never get enough of this amazing woman.
"s.h.i.t," I hissed, yanking out my cellphone. I answered, but my eyes never left Chloe"s. I held up a finger, begging her not to leave just yet.
"Dad!" Izzy shouted.
"Yes, Isabelle. What is it?"
"Where the h.e.l.l have you been?! I"ve been calling you for an hour straight!"
I glanced at Chloe who stood in the corner, her head down. I"m sure she was listening. "I was working, Izzy. What is it?"
"I got into an accident." It was then that I realized her voice was thick. She was crying.
I frowned, turning away from Chloe. "What?! What the h.e.l.l happened? Are you okay?"
"Yeah I"m fine. I don"t know. Some stupid SUV ran into the back of my car, and I lost control and ended up going over the curb. It"s f.u.c.king raining here, and I couldn"t see s.h.i.t. G.o.d, my car is so f.u.c.ked up! I need you to come here-call the insurance company or something!"
"Alright, alright. Calm down. Breathe." I inhaled and then exhaled deeply, turning in Chloe"s direction again. She was no longer looking down. She was a step closer, concern written all over her face. "Let me call the insurance company, and I"ll call you right back."
"Okay. Hurry, Dad." She hung up, and I dropped the phone, clutching it in hand.
"What happened?" Chloe asked.
"Izzy... she got into a car accident. She says she"s fine, but the car is apparently f.u.c.ked up."
Relief flooded her hazel eyes. "Was it her fault?" Her eyes were wider as she probed for more.
"No. She said an SUV ran into her." I hesitated. "She"ll probably need me to go to Nois." Nois was where Izzy went to school.
"Oh. Okay." She held up her hands. "Okay," she breathed. "You should go handle everything. Just call me when you have it all situated. And if you have to go, well, just go. I understand."
I stepped forward with a nod. "Okay. But I promise to call you." I stroked her cheek. "Will you wait for me?"
Her smile was full, but I could still spot her guilt. Her silence was deafening, her mouth opening and then clamping shut as if he couldn"t find the right words to say. "I feel like this is all my fault," she finally murmured.
I frowned. "No. If anything, it"s mine. I"m the one that didn"t have my phone around."
"Yeah, but I was totally distracting you." Her smile faltered.
I shook my head then kissed her cheek. "Don"t blame yourself. Like you told me once before, it"s life. Things happen that are out of our control."
Her eyes shot up. "Wow. I can"t believe you remember that."
I flashed a smile. "I remember everything when it comes to you, Chloe."
After placing one last kiss on her lips for rea.s.surance, I let her go, watching her cross the street and walk through her front door. On her way across, she looked back once, a faint trace of a smile present. I returned the same expression, waving once.
When she made it safely inside her home, I blew out a heavy breath, picking up my phone and calling the insurance company. My status with Chloe was puzzling, but when it came to my daughter, I had to see she was safe.
I felt terrible as h.e.l.l for not answering sooner. I could have lost her too. Fortunately, a higher power had their eyes on her.
Not sure what the f.u.c.k I would have done if I"d lost my Izzy Bear too.
I wouldn"t blame Chloe for a d.a.m.n thing, but I would blame myself over and over again, going through the same struggle as once before, and that would jeopardize everything she and I ever stood for.
Sixteen.
His garage gate was closed when I awoke, no cars or bikes in the driveway. He"d gone to Nois for Izzy. He called me right before leaving that morning.
"I"ll be back as soon as everything is handled."
"Okay," I murmured, but I felt somewhat disappointed-not with him, but with myself. He was going to see Izzy. I could have tagged along, but I didn"t quite trust myself with Theo around. I would have been self-conscious of every little thing, like if she noticed me staring or if she saw how he looked at me, or maybe even caught him standing too close. I missed the h.e.l.l out of her, but I was going to have to wait to see her... alone. No hot daddy around to distract me.
Anything could have gone wrong, so I kept my distance. "Tell her that I"m glad she"s okay. I mean I called her last night to check in, and she said she was fine and all, but I"m sure she"d love to hear it in person."
"I will." Theo was quiet for a moment. At first I thought he was thinking negatively- reconsidering all we"d done only hours ago on his boat. But that thought quickly vanished as he sighed. "When I get back, it"s you and me. I"m packing everything up. Think you can drop by and help?"
I laughed, crossing my legs on top of my comforter. "Duh. You know I will. Just make sure you keep the chair aside. I"m really taking it."
"Of course." I heard the smile in his voice. "Gonna miss you, Chloe." His voice was gentle, maybe the softest I"d ever heard it.
"I"ll miss you too, Theo."
"Mmm," he groaned.
Giggling, I asked, "What?"
"I love it when you call me by my first name."
"Theodore," I said, rolling his name off my tongue. "Theodore Benjamin Black."
He chuckled. "You know way too much about me, Knight."
I smirked on my end. "Not my fault you"re a blabbermouth around me.
"Take it as a good thing, babe. Not many get to know me like you do."
I paused. "You say that like you"re a bad person."
He was silent for a moment, allowing my words to sink in. Finally, he said, "You"d be surprised. There"s s.h.i.t about me that only Janet and my mom know about. s.h.i.t that... I can"t exactly take back. Sometimes I think my last name mocks me because of how dark my past was."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"Long story, sweetheart." I heard his keys jingle. "But when I"m back, I"ll be sure to fill you in. Pun intended."
I laughed out loud. "Whatever. I"ll talk to you soon."
I heard a door shut on his end. He didn"t respond, so I waited on the line, a.s.suming he hadn"t heard me. "Come to your window," he commanded lightly.
I stared ahead, listening to his car honk when unlocking. Gradually, I climbed off the bed, walking towards my window. I hesitated for a moment but quickly realized I had no reason to hold back. Pulling the curtain aside, I saw him standing right in the driveway, looking straight up at my window.
"There"s my girl." He put on a beautiful smile, those light lines forming around his eyes. Those lines were the only things that gave his age away. Other than that, he was absolute perfection. With the phone glued to his ear, he lifted his left hand and waved, like he was just some regular, normal neighbor.
Blushing, I waved back, and then pressed my palm to the cool windowpane. "Get some rest, Little Knight."
"Have a safe drive, Mr. Black."
I saw him laugh silently, pulling his car door open. Then, I pulled the phone away from my ear, watching as he did the same, slipping into the driver"s seat.
The car cranked, and he reversed his way out of the driveway, pulled onto the main road, and then drove away but not before looking up at me once more and winking.
I missed him already, and it"d only been four hours. I know, I sounded needy and desperate, but I seriously couldn"t wait until he got back. I had many questions I wanted to ask him. I knew there was a darker side to Theo; I"d just never truly witnessed it. Other than watching him almost destroy Ol" Charlie with a hammer after Mrs. Black died, I"d never seen him spiral deeper. The desire to destroy something he loved seemed logical, considering he"d just lost the love of his life.