That got her back to me. A haggard stare across wreathed smoke.
"You know when I worked most of this out?" I sucked in my own smoke hard. "On the swim back to the gate. See, I was pretty much convinced it"d be closed by the time I got there. Wasn"t quite sure why I thought that at first, but it sort of fell into place. They"d gone through the gate, and the gate had closed on them. Why would that happen, and how did poor old Dhasanapongsakul end up on the wrong side wearing a T-shirt. Then I remembered the waterfall."
She blinked.
"The waterfall?"
"Yeah, any normal human being, post-coital, would have shoved me in the back into that pool and then laughed. We both would have. Instead, you started crying." I examined the end of my cigarette as if it interested me. "You stood at the gate with Dhasanapongsakul, and you pushed him through. And then you slammed it shut. It doesn"t take two hours to shut that gate, does it, Tanya?"
"No," she whispered.
"Were you already thinking you might have to do the same thing to me? Then, at the waterfall?"
"I." She shook her head. "Don"t know."
"How did you kill the two on the trawler?"
"Stunner. Then the nets. They drowned before they woke up. I." She cleared her throat. "I pulled them up again later, I was going to, I don"t know, bury them somewhere. Maybe even wait a few days and drag them to the gate, try to open it so I could dump them through as well. I panicked. I couldn"t stand to be there, wondering if Aribowo and Weng might find some way to open the gate again before their air ran out."
She looked at me defiantly.
"I didn"t really believe that. I"m an archaeologue, I know how..." She was silent for a few moments. "I couldn"t even have opened it again myself in time to save them. It was just. The gate. What it meant. Sitting there on the trawler, knowing they were just the other side of that. Thing, suffocating. Millions of kilometres away in the sky above my head and still right there in the cavern. So close. Like something huge, waiting for me."
I nodded. Back on the beach at Dangrek, I"d told Wardani and Vongsavath about the corpses I"d found sealed in the substance of the Martian vessel while Carrera and I hunted each other across the hull. But I never told either of them about my last half hour inside the ship, the things I"d seen and heard as I stumbled back out to the echoing desolation of the docking bay with Carrera"s impeller frame on my shoulders, the things I"d felt swimming beside me all the way back to the gate. After a while, my vision had narrowed down to that faint blur of light orbiting out in the blackness, and I didn"t want to look round for fear of what I might see, what might be hunched there, offering me its taloned hand. I just dived for the light, scarcely able to believe it was still there, terrified that at any moment it would slam shut and leave me locked out in the dark.
Tetrameth hallucination, I told myself later, and that was just going to have to do.
"So why didn"t you take the trawler?"
She shook her head again and stubbed out her cigarette.
"I panicked. I was cutting the stacks out of the two in the nets, and I just." She shivered. "It was like something was staring at me. I dumped them back in the water, threw the stacks out to sea as far as I could. Then I just ran away. Didn"t even try to blow the cavern or cover my tracks. Walked all the way into Sauberville." Her voice changed in some way I couldn"t define. "I got a ride with this guy in a ground car the last couple of klicks. Young guy with a couple of kids he was bringing back from a grav-gliding trip. I guess they"re all dead now."
"Yes."
"I. Sauberville wasn"t far enough. I ran south. I was in the Bootkinaree hinterlands when the Protectorate signed the accords. Cartel forces picked me up from a refugee column. Dumped me in the camp with the rest of them. At the time, it seemed almost like justice."
She fumbled out a fresh cigarette and fitted it in her mouth. Her gaze slanted my way.
"That make you laugh?"
"No." I drained my coffee. "Point of interest, though. What you were doing around Bootkinaree? Why not head back for Indigo City? You being a Kempist sympathiser and all."
She grimaced. "I don"t think the Kempists would have been pleased to see me, Takeshi. I"d just killed their entire expedition. Would have been a little hard to explain."
"Kempists?"
"Yeah." There was a gritted amus.e.m.e.nt in her tone now. "Who"d you think bankrolled that trip? Vacuum gear, drilling and construction equipment, the a.n.a.logue units and the dataprocessing system for the gate. Come on, Takeshi. We were on the edge of a war. Where do you think all that stuff came from? Who"d you think went in and wiped the gate from the Landfall archive?"
"Like I said," I muttered. "I didn"t want to think about it. So it was a Kempist gig. So why"d you waste them?"
"I don"t know," she gestured. "It seemed like. I don"t know, Kovacs."
"Fair enough." I crushed out my cigarette, resisted the temptation to take another, then took it anyway. I watched her and waited.
"It." She stopped. Shook her head. Started again, enunciating with exasperated care. "I thought I was on their side. It made sense. We all agreed. In Kemp"s hands the ship would be a bargaining chip the Cartel couldn"t ignore. It could win the war for us. Bloodlessly."
"Uh-uh."
"Then we found out it was a warship. Aribowo found a weapons battery up near the prow. Pretty unmistakable. Then another one. I, uh." She stopped and sipped some water. Cleared her throat again. "They changed. Almost overnight, they all changed. Even Aribowo. She used to be so... It was like possession. Like they"d been taken over by one of those sentiences you see in experia horror flicks. Like something had come through the gate and..."
Another grimace.
"I guess I never knew them all that well after all. The two on the trawler, they were cadres. I didn"t know them at all. But they all went the same way. All talking about what could be done. The necessity necessity of it, the revolutionary of it, the revolutionary need need. Vaporise Landfall from orbit. Power up whatever drives the ship had, they were speculating FTL now, talking about taking the war to Latimer. Doing the same thing there. Planetary bombardment. Latimer City, Portausaint, Soufriere. All gone, like Sauberville, until the Protectorate capitulated."
"Could they have done that?"
"Maybe. The systems on Nkrumah"s Land are pretty simple, once you get to grips with the basics. If the ship was anything like." She shrugged. "Which it wasn"t. But we didn"t know that then. They thought they could. That was what mattered. They didn"t want a bargaining chip. They wanted a war machine. And I"d given it to them. They were cheering the death of millions as if it was a good joke. Getting drunk at night talking it up. Singing f.u.c.king revolutionary songs. Justifying it with rhetoric. All the s.h.i.t you hear dripping off the government channels, twisted a hundred and eighty degrees. Cant, political theory, all to sh.o.r.e up the use of a planetary ma.s.sacre machine. And I"d given it to them. Without me, I don"t think they could have got the gate open again. They were just Scratchers. They needed me. They couldn"t get anyone else, the Guild Masters were all already on their way back to Latimer in cryocap liners, way ahead of the game, or holed up in Landfall waiting for their Guild-paid hypercasts to come through. w.a.n.g and Aribowo came looking for me in Indigo City. They begged me to help them. And I did." There was something like a plea in her face as she turned to look at me. "I gave it to them."
"But you took it away again," I said gently.
Her hand groped across the table. I took it in mine, and held it for a while.
"Were you planning to do the same to us?" I asked, when she seemed to have calmed. She tried to withdraw her hand, but I held onto it.
"It doesn"t matter now," I said urgently. "These things are done, all you have to do now is live with them. That"s how you do it, Tanya. Just admit it if it"s true. To yourself, if not to me."
A tear leaked out of the corner of one eye in the rigid face opposite me.
"I don"t know," she whispered. "I was just surviving."
"Good enough," I told her.
We sat and held hands in silence until the waiter, on some aberrational whim, came to see if we wanted anything else.
Later, on our way back down through the streets of Dig 27, we pa.s.sed the same junk salvage yard, and the same Martian artefact trapped in cement in the wall. An image erupted in my mind, the frozen agony of the Martians, sunk and sealed in the bubblestuff of their ship"s hull. Thousands of them, extending to the dark horizon of the vessel"s asteroidal bulk, a drowned nation of angels, beating their wings in a last insane attempt to escape whatever catastrophe had overwhelmed the ship in the throes of the engagement.
I looked sideways at Tanya Wardani, and knew with a flash like an empathin rush that she was tuned in to the same image.
"I hope he doesn"t come here," she muttered.
"Sorry?"
"Wycinski. When the news breaks, he"ll. He"ll want to be here to see what we"ve found. I think it might destroy him."
"Will they let him come?"
She shrugged. "Hard to really keep him out if he wants it badly enough. He"s been pensioned off into sinecure research at Bradbury for the last century, but he still has a few silent friends in the Guild. There"s enough residual awe for that. Enough guilt as well, the way he was treated. Someone"ll turn the favour for him, blag him a hypercast at least as far as Latimer. After that, well he"s still independently wealthy enough to make the rest of the running himself." She shook her head. "But it"ll kill him. His precious Martians, fighting and dying in cohorts just like humans. Ma.s.s graves and planetary wealth condensed into war machines. It tears down everything he wanted to believe about them."
"Well, predator stock..."
"I know know. Predators have to be smarter, predators come to dominate, predators evolve civilisation and move out into the stars. That same old f.u.c.king song."
"Same old f.u.c.king universe," I pointed out gently.
"It"s just..."
"At least they weren"t fighting amongst themselves any more. You said yourself, the other ship wasn"t Martian."
"Yeah, I don"t know. It certainly didn"t look it. But is that any better? Unify your race so you can go beat the s.h.i.t out of someone else"s. Couldn"t they get past past that?" that?"
"Doesn"t look like it."
She wasn"t listening. She stared blindly away at the cemented artefact. "They must have known they were going to die. It would have been instinctive, trying to fly away. Like running from a bomb blast. Like putting your hands out to stop a bullet."
"And then the hull what, melted?"
She shook her head again, slowly. "I don"t know, I don"t think so. I"ve been thinking about this. The weapons we saw, they seemed to be doing something more basic than that. Changing the," she gestured, "I don"t know, the wavelength wavelength of matter? Something hyperdimensional? Something outside 3-D s.p.a.ce. That"s what it felt like. I think the hull disappeared, I think they were standing in s.p.a.ce, still alive because the ship was still of matter? Something hyperdimensional? Something outside 3-D s.p.a.ce. That"s what it felt like. I think the hull disappeared, I think they were standing in s.p.a.ce, still alive because the ship was still there there in some sense, but knowing it was about to flip out of existence. I think that"s when they tried to fly." in some sense, but knowing it was about to flip out of existence. I think that"s when they tried to fly."
I shivered a little, remembering.
"It must have been a heavier attack than the one we saw," she went on. "What we saw didn"t come close."
I grunted. "Yeah, well, the automated systems have had a hundred thousand years to work on it. Stands to reason they"d have it down to a fine art by now. Did you hear what Hand said, just before it got bad?"
"No."
"He said this is what killed the others this is what killed the others. The one we found in the corridors, but he meant the others too. Weng, Aribowo, the rest of the team. That"s why they stayed out there until their air burned out. It happened to them too, didn"t it."
She stopped in the street to look at me.
"Look, if it did..."
I nodded. "Yeah. That"s what I thought."
"We calculated that cometary. The glyph counters and our own instruments, just to be sure. Every twelve hundred standard years, give or take. If this happened to Aribowo"s crew as well, it means."
"It means another near-miss intersection, with another warship. A year to eighteen months back, and who knows what kind of orbit that might be locked into."
"Statistically," she breathed.
"Yeah. You thought of that too. Because statistically, the chances of two expeditions, eighteen months apart both having the bad luck to stumble on deep-s.p.a.ce cometary intersections like that?"
"Astronomical."
"And that"s being conservative. It"s the next best thing to impossible."
"Unless."
I nodded again, and smiled because I could see the strength pouring back into her like current as she thought it through.
"That"s right. Unless there"s so much junk flying around out there that this is a very common occurrence. Unless, in other words, you"re looking at the locked-in remains of an entire naval engagement on a system-wide scale."
"We would have seen it," she said uncertainly. "By now, we would have spotted some of them."
"Doubtful. There"s a lot of s.p.a.ce out there, and even a fifty-klick hulk is pretty small by asteroidal standards. And anyway, we haven"t been looking. Ever since we got here, we"ve had our noses buried in the dirt, grubbing up quick dig/quick sale archaeological trash. Return on investment. That"s the name of the game in Landfall. We"ve forgotten how to look any other way."
She laughed, or something very like it.
"You"re not Wycinski, are you, Kovacs? Because you talk just like him sometimes." not Wycinski, are you, Kovacs? Because you talk just like him sometimes."
I built another smile. "No. I"m not Wycinski, either."
The phone Roespinoedji had lent me thrummed in my pocket. I dug it out, wincing at the way my elbow joint grated on itself.
"Yeah?"
"Vongsavath. These guys are all done. We can be out of here by tonight, you want it that way."
I looked at Wardani and sighed. "Yeah. I want it that way. Be down there with you in a couple of minutes."
I pocketed the phone and started down the street again. Wardani followed.
"Hey," she said.
"Yeah?"
"That stuff about looking out? Not grubbing in the dirt? Where did that come from all of a sudden, Mr.I"m-Not-Wycinski?"
"I don"t know." I shrugged. "Maybe it"s the Harlan"s World thing. It"s the one place in the Protectorate where you tend to look outward when you think about the Martians. Oh, we"ve got our own dig sites and remains. But the one thing about the Martians you don"t forget is the orbitals. They"re up there every day of your life, round and round, like angels with swords and twitchy fingers. Part of the night sky. This stuff, everything we"ve found here, it doesn"t really surprise me. It"s about time."
"Yes."
The energy I"d seen coming back to her was there in her tone, and I knew then that she"d be alright. There"d been a point when I thought that she wasn"t staying for this, that anchoring herself here and waiting out the war was some obscure form of ongoing punishment she was visiting upon herself. But the bright edge of enthusiasm in her voice was enough.
She"d be alright.
It felt like the end of a long journey. A trip together that had started with the close contact of the Envoy techniques for psychic repair in a stolen shuttle on the other side of the world.
It felt like a scab coming off.
"One thing," I said as we reached the street that wound down in dusty hairpins to the Dig 27"s shabby little landing field. Below us lay the dust coloured swirling of the Wedge battlewagon"s camouflage cloaking field. We stopped again to look down at it.
"Yeah?"