Now if I tell him that his idol tricked me, a little kid. What the f.u.c.k would he think, huh? I would undoubtedly be a real surprise if he ever spoke to me once more, if I did say that to his face. So I am literally trapped between a rock and a hard place.I wanted to shout and scream out loud at that moment, that blasted old man got me real good. Arghhh, the d.a.m.n f.u.c.ker put in a terrible place, which is impossible to escape from. And here I am, only being able to curse him, as I sink deeper into this cesspool I found myself.
Take a deep breath in, I told myself, I can think about all that stuff later. But right now, I better come up with a good excuse for why I tried to hand over these cheaper teardrops. Or in other words, who could I blame this incident upon, except the true culprit, Professor Dumbledore.
So, let"s see, who do we got... maybe Professor Snape? He is the one that controls all the ingredients at school. No, I could imagine that going wrong in so many ways, Hagrid with his straightforward personality would totally confront Professor Snape about it or ask, if I am to be realistic. Then things would just go down hill from there, also I would be losing a lot if I did that.
Ever since I showed my skills in potions, Professor Snape has been really helpful when it comes to potionnering. He has been giving me great bits of advice and pointer. Which are very important and valuable when you get so deep in potionnering and also when you get to my level.
No longer, am I just following the potion recipe word by word. Now I have to experiment and innovate to get better at potionnering. Basically, I am no longer a little kid or some beginner, now I am a teenager or in other words an intermediate, when it comes to potionnering.
And the bits of advice that Professor Snape gives, for example, even if the advice is just to add one less strand of Abraxan hair. That could save me countless hours, and if I lose the support of Professor Snape, a master potion maker at that. I would be looking at a lot more years at this level, and my dream of becoming a master potion maker, will become harder and harder to achieve.
Man, when I started down this path of potionnering, I thought that I would be making legendary potions in a couple of months, but here I am now. It seems like this will be a long and excruciating path.
You know, I am talented, and I did have a really good head start, since I started pretty young, Thank You Mama. But still, it will take years to even come close to making some legendary potion, but I do not care at this point.
The path has been so fun! Experimenting and tweaking potion receipts, then ending up with some interesting and exciting concoction has been a real blast.
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So, all in all, there is no way I could pin this on Professor Snape, so who else is there that I can dump this all on?
Maybe the twins? Those two red heads have gotten me into so much trouble over the years that we have known each other, so I do not think they would mind taking one for the team. Yea, it sounds great and all, but a part of me, the little goody two shoe, that part of me I did not know I had in me. It spoke loud and clear, and the message was well received. Sigh!
What type of friend would I be if I did that to them, huh? I know for sure that I would not like it at all really. I am already not loving this ditch I found myself in, thanks to trying to cheat the most powerful wizard of the century. So, what would make the twins like it at all?
Sigh, it is so hard to be good, taking the easy path would have been much more simpler, but I guess that is what you get for connecting back with other humans. It seems like I will have to take the blame, there are a few people I could think about that could get their hands on this rare ingredient. Most of these people are staff members and friends, who I care about or just can"t accuse, so I can not realistically put this whole thing on top if their heads.
Danm, thing back in my last life were so much easier. Nothing to tie me and nothing to care about. Forget, I thought, that is all in the past, when I was basically no one. Ha! When was the last time I even thought about that life, I never even uttered my old name in this world.
That life was a lonely one, this one I have much to hold on to and protect. Well then, I guess now I got to take the blame, the only thing that is of comfort is that I will get that old man real Good.
With that thought, I turned away from my musing and thoughts and looked Hagrid in the eyes. With steel in my voice, I said to him, "Hagrid, once again I am sorry for this shoddy business. I did not mean for this to happen, and I am sorry..." I paused at that moment, mid sentence. Just thinking about it, forget saying it, really painful.
Once I got my nerve back and continued from where I paused. "Also, I am sorry, but I cannot give honest excuses of why I have given you fake phoenix teardrops"