"Ah, Cornelia!" exclaimed Otto grandly.
"My dear Otto!" the woman responded, wrinkling her wonderfully enamelled cheeks.
"Miss Toft, let me introduce you to Madame Lopez." He turned to the newcomer. "Keep her calm for me, bright star, will you?"
Then Otto went, and Clarice was left alone with the world-famous operatic soprano, who was advertised to sing that night the Shadow Song from "Dinorah."
"Where did he pick you up, my dear?" the decayed diva inquired maternally.
Clarice briefly explained.
"You aren"t paying him anything, are you?"
"Oh, no!" said Clarice, shocked. "But I get no fee this time----"
"Of course not, my dear," the Lopez cut her short. "It"s all right so long as you aren"t paying him anything to let you go on. Now run along."
Clarice"s heart stopped. The call-boy, with his c.o.c.kney tw.a.n.g, had p.r.o.nounced her name.
She moved forward, and, by dint of following the call-boy, at length reached the stage. Applause--good-natured applause--seemed to roll towards her from the uttermost parts of the vast auditorium. She realized with a start that this applause was exclusively for her. She sat down to the piano, and there ensued a death-like silence--a silence broken only by the striking of matches and the tinkle of the embowered fountain in front of the stage. She had a consciousness, rather than a vision, of a floor of thousands of upturned faces below her, and tier upon tier of faces rising above her and receding to the illimitable dark distances of the gallery. She heard a door bang, and perceived that some members of the orchestra were creeping quietly out at the back. Then she plunged, dizzy, into the sonata, as into a heaving and profound sea. The huge concert piano resounded under the onslaught of her broad hands.
When she had played ten bars she knew with an absolute conviction that she would do justice to her talent. She could see, as it were, the entire sonata stretched out in detail before her like a road over which she had to travel....
At the end of the first movement the clapping enheartened her; she smiled confidently at the conductor, who, unemployed during her number, sat on a chair under his desk. Before recommencing she gazed boldly at the house, and certain placards--"Smoking permitted," "Emergency exit,"
"Ices," and "Fancy Dress b.a.l.l.s"--were fixed for ever on the retina of her eye. At the end of the second movement there was more applause, and the conductor tapped appreciation with his stick against the pillar of his desk; the leader of the listless orchestra also tapped with his fiddle-bow and nodded. It seemed to her now that she more and more dominated the piano, and that she rendered the great finale with masterful and fierce a.s.surance....
She was pleased with herself as she banged the last ma.s.sive chord. And the applause, the clapping, the hammering of sticks, astounded her, staggered her. She might have died of happiness while she bowed and bowed again. She ran off the stage triumphant, and the applause seemed to a.s.sail her little figure from all quarters and overwhelm it. As she stood waiting, concealed behind a group of palms, it suddenly occurred to her that, after all, she had underestimated herself. She saw her rosy future as the spoiled darling of continental capitals. The hail of clapping persisted, and the apparition of Otto violently waved her to return to the stage. She returned, bowed her pa.s.sionate exultation with burning face and trembling knees, and retired. The clapping continued.
Yes, she would be compelled to grant an encore--to _grant_ one. She would grant it like a honeyed but imperious queen.
Suddenly she heard the warning tap of the conductor"s baton; the applause was hushed as though by a charm, and the orchestra broke into the overture to "Zampa." She could not understand, she could not think.
As she tripped tragically to the artists"-room in her new yellow dress she said to herself that the conductor must have made some mistake, and that----
"Very nice, my dear," said the Lopez kindly to her. "You got quite a call--quite a call."
She waited for Otto to come and talk to her.
At length the Lopez was summoned, and Clarice followed to listen to her.
And when the Lopez had soared with strong practised flight through the brilliant intricacy of the Shadow Song, Clarice became aware what real applause sounded like from the stage. It shook the stage as the old favourite of two generations, wearing her set smile, waddled back to the debutante. Scores of voices hoa.r.s.ely shouted "Encore!" and "Last Rose of Summer," and with a proud sigh the Lopez went on again, bowing.
Clarice saw nothing more of Otto, who doubtless had other birds to snare. The next day only three daily papers mentioned the concert at all. In fact, Otto expected press notices but once a week. All three papers praised the matchless Lopez in her Shadow Song. One referred to Clarice as talented; another called her well-intentioned; the third merely said that she had played. The short dream of artistic ascendancy lay in fragments around her. She was a sensible girl, and stamped those iridescent fragments into dust.
III
The _Staffordshire Signal_ contained the following advertis.e.m.e.nt: "Miss Clara Toft, solo pianist, of the Otto Autumn Concerts, London, will resume lessons on the 1st proximo at Liszt House, Turnhill. Terms on application." At thirty Clarice married James Sillitoe, the pianoforte dealer in Market Square, Turnhill, and captious old Mrs. Toft formed part of the new household. At thirty-four Clarice possessed a little girl and two little boys, twins. Sillitoe was a money-maker, and she no longer gave lessons.
Happy? Perhaps not unhappy.
A LETTER HOME[2]
[2] Written in 1893.
I
Rain was falling--it had fallen steadily through the night--but the sky showed promise of fairer weather. As the first streaks of dawn appeared, the wind died away, and the young leaves on the trees were almost silent. The birds were insistently clamorous, vociferating times without number that it was a healthy spring morning and good to be alive.
A little, bedraggled crowd stood before the park gates, awaiting the hour named on the notice board when they would be admitted to such lodging and shelter as iron seats and overspreading branches might afford. A weary, patient-eyed, dogged crowd--a dozen men, a boy of thirteen, and a couple of women, both past middle age--which had been gathering slowly since five o"clock. The boy appeared to be the least uncomfortable. His feet were bare, but he had slept well in an area in Grosvenor Place, and was not very damp yet. The women had nodded on many doorsteps, and were soaked. They stood apart from the men, who seemed unconscious of their existence. The men were exactly such as one would have expected to find there--beery and restless as to the eyes, quaintly shod, and with nondescript greenish clothes which for the most part bore traces of the yoke of the sandwich board. Only one amongst them was different.
He was young, and his cap, and manner of wearing it, gave sign of the sea. His face showed the rough outlines of his history. Yet it was a transparently honest face, very pale, but still boyish and fresh enough to make one wonder by what rapid descent he had reached his present level. Perhaps the receding chin, the heavy, pouting lower lip, and the ceaselessly twitching mouth offered a key to the problem.
"Say, Darkey!" he said.
"Well?"
"How much longer?"
"Can"t ye see the clock? It"s staring ye in the face."
"No. Something queer"s come over my eyes."
Darkey was a short, st.u.r.dy man, who kept his head down and his hands deep in his pockets. The raindrops clinging to the rim of an ancient hat fell every now and then into his gray beard, which presented a drowned appearance. He was a person of long and varied experiences; he knew that queer feeling in the eyes, and his heart softened.
"Come, lean against the pillar," he said, "if you don"t want to tumble.
Three of brandy"s what you want. There"s four minutes to wait yet."
With body flattened to the masonry, legs apart, and head thrown back, Darkey"s companion felt more secure, and his mercurial spirits began to revive. He took off his cap, and brushing back his light brown curly hair with the hand which held it, he looked down at Darkey through half-closed eyes, the play of his features divided between a smile and a yawn.
He had a lively sense of humour, and the irony of his situation was not lost on him. He took a grim, ferocious delight in calling up the might-have-beens and the "fatuous ineffectual yesterdays" of life. There is a certain sardonic satisfaction to be gleaned from a frank recognition of the fact that you are the architect of your own misfortune. He felt that satisfaction, and laughed at Darkey, who was one of those who moan about "ill-luck" and "victims of circ.u.mstance."
"No doubt," he would say, "you"re a very deserving fellow, Darkey, who"s been treated badly. I"m not."
To have attained such wisdom at twenty-five is not to have lived altogether in vain.
A park-keeper presently arrived to unlock the gates, and the band of outcasts straggled indolently towards the nearest sheltered seats. Some went to sleep at once, in a sitting posture. Darkey produced a clay pipe, and, charging it with a few shreds of tobacco laboriously gathered from his waistcoat pocket, began to smoke. He was accustomed to this sort of thing, and with a pipe in his mouth could contrive to be moderately philosophical upon occasion. He looked curiously at his companion, who lay stretched at full length on another bench.
"I say, pal," he remarked, "I"ve known ye two days; ye"ve never told me yer name, and I don"t ask ye to. But I see ye"ve not slep" in a park before."
"You hit it, Darkey; but how?"
"Well, if the keeper catches ye lying down, he"ll be on to ye. Lying down"s not allowed."
The man raised himself on his elbow.