LOIS: You"re very inconsistent--last summer you read every day.
JULIE: If I were consistent I"d still be living on warm milk out of a bottle.
LOIS: Yes, and probably my bottle. But I like Mr. Calkins.
JULIE: I never met him.
LOIS: Well, will you hurry up?
JULIE: Yes. (_After a pause_) I wait till the water gets tepid and then I let in more hot.
LOIS: (_Sarcastically_) How interesting!
JULIE: "Member when we used to play "soapo"?
LOIS: Yes--and ten years old. I"m really quite surprised that you don"t play it still.
JULIE: I do. I"m going to in a minute.
LOIS: Silly game.
JULIE: (_Warmly_) No, it isn"t. It"s good for the nerves. I"ll bet you"ve forgotten how to play it.
LOIS: (_Defiantly_) No, I haven"t. You--you get the tub all full of soapsuds and then you get up on the edge and slide down.
JULIE: (_Shaking her head scornfully_) Huh! That"s only part of it. You"ve got to slide down without touching your hand or feet--
LOIS:(_Impatiently_) Oh, Lord! What do I care? I wish we"d either stop coming here in the summer or else get a house with two bath-tubs.
JULIE: You can buy yourself a little tin one, or use the hose----
LOIS: Oh, shut up!
JULIE: (_Irrelevantly_) Leave the towel.
LOIS: What?
JULIE: Leave the towel when you go.
LOIS: This towel?
JULIE: (_Sweetly_) Yes, I forgot my towel.
LOIS: (_Looking around for the first time_) Why, you idiot! You haven"t even a kimono.
JULIE: (_Also looking around_) Why, so I haven"t.
LOIS: (_Suspicion growing on her_) How did you get here?
JULIE: (_Laughing_) I guess I--I guess I whisked here. You know--a white form whisking down the stairs and--
LOIS: (_Scandalized_) Why, you little wretch. Haven"t you any pride or self-respect?
JULIE: Lots of both. I think that proves it. I looked very well. I really am rather cute in my natural state.
LOIS: Well, you--
JULIE: (_Thinking aloud_) I wish people didn"t wear any clothes.
I guess I ought to have been a pagan or a native or something.
LOIS: You"re a--
JULIE: I dreamt last night that one Sunday in church a small boy brought in a magnet that attracted cloth. He attracted the clothes right off of everybody; put them in an awful state; people were crying and shrieking and carrying on as if they"d just discovered their skins for the first time. Only _I_ didn"t care. So I just laughed. I had to pa.s.s the collection plate because n.o.body else would.
LOIS: (_Who has turned a deaf ear to this speech_) Do you mean to tell me that if I hadn"t come you"d have run back to your room--un--unclothed?
JULIE: _Au naturel_ is so much nicer.
LOIS: Suppose there had been some one in the living-room.
JULIE: There never has been yet.
LOIS: Yet! Good grief! How long--
JULIE: Besides, I usually have a towel.
LOIS: (_Completely overcome_) Golly! You ought to be spanked. I hope, you get caught. I hope there"s a dozen ministers in the living-room when you come out--and their wives, and their daughters.
JULIE: There wouldn"t be room for them in the living-room, answered Clean Kate of the Laundry District.
LOIS: All right. You"ve made your own--bath-tub; you can lie in it.
(_LOIS starts determinedly for the door._)
JULIE: (_In alarm_) Hey! Hey! I don"t care about the k"mono, but I want the towel. I can"t dry myself on a piece of soap and a wet wash-rag.
LOIS: (_Obstinately_). I won"t humor such a creature. You"ll have to dry yourself the best way you can. You can roll on the floor like the animals do that don"t wear any clothes.
JULIE: (_Complacent again_) All right. Get out!
LOIS: (_Haughtily_) Huh!
(JULIE _turns on the cold water and with her finger directs a parabolic stream at LOIS. LOIS retires quickly, slamming the door after her. JULIE laughs and turns off the water_)
JULIE: (Singing)
When the Arrow-collar man Meets the D"jer-kiss girl On the smokeless Sante Fe Her Pebeco smile Her Lucile style De dum da-de-dum one day--
(_She changes to a whistle and leans forward to turn on the taps, but is startled by three loud banging noises in the pipes. Silence for a moment--then she puts her mouth down near the spigot as if it were a telephone_)