"You look very thoughtful."
Merry glanced up with a start to find that her husband had slowed to ride beside her again. They had started out the journey side by side on their mounts, but she had been so distracted by her thoughts she hadn"t been able to respond to his comments and repeated efforts to strike up a conversation. After a bit, Merry had allowed her mare to fall back some, leaving Gerhard to take her place and talk with her husband. Now, however, Alex had dropped back to ride beside her again, and she forced herself to stop fretting about things she could not control and managed to offer him a smile.
"Does this area look familiar?" Alex asked suddenly, and Merry glanced around, her eyes slipping with little interest over the woods they were traveling through. It looked much like the rest of the woods they"d been pa.s.sing through for the last hour, she thought, and then noted the hills ahead and stilled in her saddle, her head tilting slightly as she stared at them.
"Stewart." She breathed the word, amazed to see the place she"d just been pining for.
"Aye." Alex smiled gently. "I thought you might wish to stop and greet your family and old friends since we were pa.s.sing so close by. But we can avoid it if "twould bring up unhappy memories for you."
Merry smiled at the man, thinking she truly had a thoughtful husband, and then glanced toward the hills ahead as she considered her answer. Finally, she nodded her head. "If you do not mind taking the time, I would be pleased to check in on my father and brothers on the way by."
"Then we shall," he said with a smile, and Merry smiled back, but then glimpsed Gerhard riding on his other side and noted the scowl on the man"s face. It seemed he was not pleased with the stop, and judging by the suspicion on his expression, did not think she should be, either. She supposed she should not be surprised. No doubt he was imagining she had some grand plan to finish off her husband in the familiar surroundings, but there was little she could do about his thoughts, so she merely ignored him and looked toward the hills ahead and home.
The men on the wall were, of course, the first to see their approach, and she noted the way they each stiffened and grew still at their posts as they watched them draw near. Their party was nearly to the wall before the men were able to recognize her riding at the front at her husband"s side, and the difference in them was immediate. They all relaxed, breaking out in smiles of welcome; most even waved and called out.
Merry felt a happy laugh slip from her lips as she waved back, and then they were pa.s.sing under the gate into the bailey and their party was almost brought to a grinding halt as the people of Stewart rushed forward to greet her.
"Ye"re back!"
"Are ye staying, la.s.s?"
"Ye"re lookin" fine and healthy, la.s.s."
"Is this yer man, lovey? He"s a fine-lookin" maun."
The calls came from every side, and Merry laughed as she urged her mare to continue slowly forward even as she tried to answer that aye, she was back. Aye, this was her husband, and no, she was not staying, just visiting. The warmth and welcome from the people of Stewart was a balm to her soul compared to the tension and suspicion of the last few days, and it was only then that Merry realized how upset she had been to be under that suspicion. She had understood it, but that apparently hadn"t prevented it from hurting her.
The moment they drew their mounts to a halt at the steps to the keep and Merry dismounted, she found herself surrounded and caught up in one embrace after another by the women who had trailed them across the bailey. Things like ""Tis good to see ye lookin" so bonnie, la.s.s" and "We"re missin" ye here at Stewart, my lady" were repeated to her over and over, and Merry would have liked to load every single one of them into her wagon and take them home to d"Aumesbery with her. At least then she would not feel so alone for, despite Una"s accompanying her, it had been a lonely three weeks directly after her arrival in England. She had felt quite lost and alone and had clung to the kindness Edda had shown her. Now, however, she was questioning that kindness and the woman who had shown it and felt she had no ally at all.
Just as Merry acknowledged that thought to herself, Alex suddenly appeared at her side, making his way gently but firmly through the women to get to her and slip an arm around her shoulder. For one moment, she fancied he looked a little worried, as if he thought she might disappear into the crowd of women and not return, but then he managed a smile and suggested, "Mayhap we should go in now. One of the men said your father and brothers are inside."
Merry nodded agreement and Alex began to maneuver them toward and up the steps while she apologized and made her excuses for leaving, and then they were inside. The keep doors closed behind them, blocking out the chatter and noise, as well as the sun. Merry and Alex both paused to give their eyes a moment to adjust, and suddenly she was reminded of her arrival at d"Aumesbery, for while she was briefly blind, she was not deaf and heard the men in the room before she saw them. The overloud laughter and slurring words that hit her ear made her heart drop at once, erasing all the pleasure of a moment ago, and Merry mentally raised her shoulders and stiffened her resolve as Alex took her arm and led her slowly, almost reluctantly forward.
As her eyes focused and her gaze landed on the three men seated around the trestle tables with several empty, overturned pitchers lying around them, Merry began to wish she had thanked Alex kindly, but rejected the idea of stopping. In her brief moment of melancholy on the hill, she had remembered only the people who lived and worked here and the good of her childhood home. She"d quite forgotten the three men who had been burrs in her behind since her mother"s death.
She and Alex were halfway across the floor when Merry suddenly found her feet would no longer move her forward. Alex paused at once, a questioning gaze on his face, and she said unhappily, "Mayhap "twould be better did we just continue on our journey."
"I"d say so," Gerhard muttered behind her, drawing her attention to the fact that they had not entered alone.
Merry stiffened and felt her face flush with shame for her family, but did not miss the scowl Alex turned on the man. His expression was neutral when it returned to her and he said, "If you wish it, Merry. We will do what you like."
"Aye," she said solemnly. "I wish-"
"Merry! As I live and breathe! Here we were just talkin" about ye and ye appear as if by magic!"
Merry"s shoulders drooped at that loud shout from her father, knowing it was too late now and they would have to carry this debacle forward. Taking a deep breath, she turned and forced herself to approach the table as the three Stewart men staggered to their feet to greet them.
"d.a.m.n me, Merry!" Brodie greeted. He was the first to reach them and immediately caught her up in a bear hug. "Ye"re lookin" fine, la.s.s. We"ve been fretting ower that husband o" yers and how he"s treatin" ye. Is he givin" ye any trouble? We can kill the b.a.s.t.a.r.d and bury him and his men in Cook"s herb garden and no one would be the wiser."
Merry forced a smile, treating the words like a joke though she suspected they weren"t. She managed to ease from his embrace as she a.s.sured him, "There"s no need fer that, me husband is verra kind to me."
"Well, that"s all right then," her father decided as he displaced Brodie to embrace her himself. "We"ll let the lad live then, shall we?"
"Aye," Merry said firmly, and wondered what madness had made her wish for this visit. Surely this was only going to add to the suspicion the English already had of her. Certainly, Gerhard had an expression on his face that suggested this was nothing less than he"d expected. As for Alex, his face was still in that neutral state and she could not tell what he was thinking.
And then her father was displaced by Gawain, who gave her a quick, hard hug and then tugged her toward the table saying, "Ye"ve got to come celebrate with us Merry. We"ve the most wonderful news."
"Oh?" she asked wearily as she was urged to sit on the bench.
"Aye," Brodie a.s.sured her as he and Gawain both settled on either side of her at the trestle table. Merry was about to glance around to be sure Alex was still nearby when he stepped up behind her and settled his hands on her shoulders. He then used that touch to urge her to relax back against his legs and use him as a chair back. Merry tilted her face up to peer at him, relieved to find his expression kind, sympathetic, and rea.s.suring all at once as he murmured, "Let us hear this wonderful news."
Merry had to swallow a lump in her throat, grateful that he hadn"t s.n.a.t.c.hed her back off the bench and run for the door. She would not have blamed him had he done so, and part of her almost wished that he had, but they were her family.
"Kade is a-comin" home."
This announcement from her father made Merry whirl to stare at where he stood on the other side of the trestle table. He had a full pitcher of whiskey in one hand, a mug in the other, and a grin on his face full of happy expectation as he awaited her response. She stared at him blankly for the longest time as she tried to accept that the brother she"d begun to fear was dead was not and then finally said, "He isna."
"Aye," Brodie crooned, throwing an arm around her and drawing her up against his side in an exuberant, if clumsy, hug that pulled her away from Alex. "He is, Merry. Kade is alive and will soon be home."
"But how?" she asked with bewilderment. "Where has he been? Why has he not-?"
"He was being held captive by one o" those d.a.m.ned infidel princes," her father said grimly. "Three years the poor b.a.s.t.a.r.d rotted in some foreign cage."
"Aye," Gawain said solemnly, but then cheered and added, "But he escaped. There"s no keepin" a Stewart where they"re no" wantin" to be. He escaped and is recuperating with friends. As soon as he"s well enough to travel, he"ll be on a ship home."
"Recuperating?" Merry asked with alarm, reaching up to cover one of Alex"s hands with her own as she straightened, and his hands settled on her shoulders again. "Was he injured?"
"Nay, nay," her father a.s.sured her, and then admitted with some concern of his own, "At least there was no mention o" injury. From the letter we received it sounds as though he was weak and half starved is all. He"ll be home soon enough."
Merry sank back against Alex"s legs and chest as she absorbed this news. Kade lived. All would be well. At least here at Stewart. He would return and take her father and brothers in hand and run Stewart in her place. It would be one worry off her plate, for she truly had been fretting over how Stewart would continue on with three drunks running it, but once Kade was back...Well, this was the best news she"d had since her marriage.
Tilting her head back, Merry offered a beaming smile to her husband. ""Tis good news. All will be well."
"Aye," he agreed quietly, a small smile playing about his lips.
"Aye!" Eachann Stewart said gruffly. ""Tis the grandest news imaginable. And surely the two o" ye will stay to celebrate it?"
Alex glanced to the man, hesitated, and then peered down at Merry, lifting one eyebrow. "Do you wish to stay and celebrate? We could stop the night and continue on in the morning."
Merry smiled wryly at the offer, knowing he was no more comfortable with the idea than she. Grateful he had made it, she nevertheless shook her head. "I think I"d like to continue our journey. We"ve a long way to go and much to settle at d"Aumesbery."
Alex nodded and glanced to her father. "I fear Merry is right. We do have to return home. We only stopped to say h.e.l.lo on the way and let you know that we will return for a longer visit another time if we are welcome."
"Oh, aye, ye"re welcome here, lad," Eachann Stewart a.s.sured him generously, and added brightly, "Mayhap next time ye come, Kade"ll be back and ye can meet the boy."
"I would enjoy that," Alex a.s.sured him solemnly, slipping a hand to Merry"s arm to help her maneuver herself from the tiny s.p.a.ce she was inhabiting on the bench between her brothers. The two younger men were far enough gone in their celebrations that it apparently didn"t occur to them to give her the room necessary to extricate herself and, in the end, Alex simply lifted her up and off the bench and set her on her feet once she was clear of it. They turned to leave then, but Merry paused as Brodie suddenly caught her hand, bringing her to a halt.
Glancing back, she raised her eyebrows curiously when she saw his solemn expression.
""Tis oddly quiet here without ye, Merry," he confessed somberly.
"Aye," Gawain agreed, and then added, "I didna think we would, but we miss ye."
Merry felt her heart squeeze at the soft words and impulsively moved back to give both her brothers a hug.
"We will come back soon," she whispered as she squeezed them both, an arm around each of them, and then added gruffly, "Try no" to drink yerselves to death or break yer fool necks ere we do."
The two men grinned as if this was a fine joke, and Merry shook her head as she straightened, then turned and took the hand Alex offered, allowing him to lead her out of her childhood home. It took them several moments to make their way through the people crowded outside the keep doors. The size of the group had grown while they were inside, and none of them was shy about letting their disappointment be known that she wasn"t staying any length of time. It made her feel a bit guilty, but did her heart good as well. At least she knew, did things go terribly wrong at d"Aumesbery, she had a home and people to return to who would welcome her with open arms.
""Tis good Kade is returning," Alex murmured once they were finally on their way again and traveling out of the bailey.
"Aye," Merry agreed, a smile stretching her lips. It truly was the best news she"d had in a long time.
"You will worry less about your father and brothers with him here to watch over them."
Merry glanced to him, surprised by the astute observation, but then merely nodded. "Aye. I will."
They rode in a companionable silence after that, Merry thinking about her brother and what it would mean at Stewart for him to return. She had no doubt he would take up the reins there. Her father had no interest in running the place. Merry only hoped Kade could somehow make the three men give up, or at least slow down, on their drinking. Perhaps with him there Brodie and Gawain could be reformed. At least they would have a strong male lead to follow rather than their father. It was a possibility...if her father allowed him to take over this time...and if Kade returned to Scotland unbroken by all he"d experienced, she added unhappily, and began to fret about what shape he was in.
Merry was so caught up in her thoughts and worries about her brother that she didn"t notice when the sun began to set or wonder why they were traveling so late into the day. It was only when Alex called a halt and she released her worries to glance around that she saw it was now full night. They were in a clearing beside a loch, the moonlight reflecting off its surface and making it easy to see despite the hour.
Her gaze slid to Alex in question then, but he was already dismounting. Once on the ground, he paused for a moment while he waited for his legs to recover from sitting his horse for so long and then moved around to hold his hands up to her.
""Tis late," Merry murmured as he lifted her off her mare.
"Aye," Alex agreed, but didn"t explain and merely said, "Take a minute to find your legs ere you try to move about, Merry. You will be stiff from the ride."
She nodded silently and clutched his arms as he held her up, and then released a breath and murmured, "Thank you" when her legs had recovered enough to hold her up without issue.
Alex then led her farther along the lake to tend to personal matters. He said she could bathe if she wished, but the water was cold so she made do with a quick wash. They then returned to camp and parted ways, he to tend to the men and she to see what she could do about the tent.
Una had been busy and the tent was already set up, the furs and their belongings laid out. Merry paused in the tent flap, aware that Gerhard stood not far away, his eyes burning a hole in her back, and then moved inside to collect the sack holding her dresses. She had no doubt that the soldier would raise a fuss with Alex about the possibility of her sleeping in the tent with him where she might kill him in his sleep. Merry had no wish to have to hear Alex asking her to sleep elsewhere or choosing to sleep elsewhere himself. At least if she simply did it now herself, she could avoid that, she thought unhappily, and turned to hurry back out of the tent with her belongings.
Una and G.o.dfrey were both inside the wagon arranging things when she arrived. Merry suspected that the lad had also helped Una set up the tent and that was why it was all done so quickly. She knew the boy still felt bad about attacking the maid and had been doing such thoughtful little things in an effort at repentance. Seeing the single pallet of furs the two were now setting out, Merry cleared her throat and murmured, "Ye shall either need two o" those or to make that one bigger do ye no" mind sharing it with me, Una."
The maid and G.o.dfrey both sat back on their haunches to peer at her with surprise. It was Una who asked, "Ye"re no sleeping with yer husband?"
Merry grimaced. "What? And have Gerhard insistin" on sleeping in there with us? Nay. I shall sleep in here with you."
G.o.dfrey and Una exchanged glances and then set silently to work rearranging the furs, and Merry was relieved that they were not questioning her further or commenting on these new arrangements. She set her sack of gowns just inside the wagon and then climbed inside and moved forward on her knees to help them.
The men had finished tending to everything else needed to ensure a relatively safe and comfortable camp when the trio climbed out of the back of the wagon. Several rabbits and a bird or two had been trapped or shot with a bow and arrow and set over the fire to cook. Merry"s stomach gave a loud growl as they joined the men around the fire, and she was glad to see that the meal was nearly ready. She sat beside her husband when he gestured her over, but said little and ate quickly before excusing herself for the night and making her way to the wagon. Merry had burrowed herself under the top linens and furs on her side of the pallet when Una arrived. They both whispered a quiet "Good sleep" to each other, and then Merry was left to her thoughts and misery. In a desperate effort to stave off the misery trying to claim her, she was reminding herself that this was her choice and she had not been banished there when she heard the rustle of the bit of tarp hanging over the end of the wagon being moved.
"Una?" Alex"s irritated voice came from the darkness. "Do you know where my wife is?"
Merry heard rustling as the maid shifted about beside her, but was already unburying herself from the furs and sitting up herself. "I am here."
"What the devil are you doing here?" Alex asked, sounding most annoyed.
Merry opened her mouth to respond, but then let it close, her eyes widening as he suddenly clambered into the back of the wagon with them.
"Husband," she began uncertainly, and then gasped in surprise as he scooped her up off the furs and turned to carry her back the way he"d come. It was an awkward business carrying her across the wagon on his knees, but he did so, and then leapt to the ground behind it with her held close to his chest.
Merry didn"t say a word as he carried her around the outside of the camp to get to their tent. But then neither did he, and then they were inside the tent and he was setting her, none too gently, on the furs.
The man was obviously annoyed. If she"d doubted that, his sharp "You sleep with me, wife. "Tis your place" would have cleared up the matter for her.
Merry lay where he"d left her and peered at him uncertainly, but he wasn"t looking at her. He had apparently come to the tent and started to disrobe before realizing she wasn"t buried in the furs. The man wore only his braies, and those were now quickly stripped away. He then paused to blow out the candle on the chest next to the pallet before climbing into the makeshift bed beside her.
She waited nervously for him to say or do something, but after a couple of moments of rustling as he shifted about to get comfortable, Alex merely threw his arm over her and drew her against his side and then gave a little grunt of satisfaction. The tent then fell into silence.
Merry considered simply going to sleep and not talking about what had just happened, but she could feel his irritation in the tension of the arm around her and said meekly, "After Donnachaidh, I thought ye felt safer without me in yer bed."
A long sigh ruffled the hair on the back of her head, and then Alex said, "Why do you think I wished to leave Donnachaidh so soon?"
"To tend to matters at home?" she suggested, repeating what he"d said to his sister and Cullen.
"There is that," he admitted, and then added, "But Merry, your sleeping in another room was not my choice."
"But ye didna protest it," she pointed out quietly.
"I had just woken up from a head wound, my head was throbbing, everyone was yelling, and no one was listening to me because they all thought me an invalid. You even shushed me," he pointed out dryly.
Merry bit her lip to keep from grinning at the affront in his voice.
"I knew there was no use in arguing, but did not like not having you in my bed. And did not intend to spend another night like that. So rather than deal with Gerhard"s protests and Cullen"s efforts to keep everyone happy, I decided "twas time to leave so that I could now make my own rules about who slept where. And," he added firmly, "my rule is that you will always sleep with me. Understood?"
"Aye," Merry said meekly.
"Good."
She listened to him breathe, waiting for him to tell her that he did not suspect her, or...well...anything that would help erase some of the worries that were rolling around her head like great boulders, but he apparently had nothing more to say and no desire to bed her, because she soon realized his breathing had grown deep and steady and he was sleeping. It left her to wonder what exactly this all meant. He hadn"t bedded her, but she was back in his bed. That last part had to be a good thing, did it not? Merry wondered, and then allowed her eyes to drift closed as she, too, fell asleep.
chapter Fourteen.
A lex woke to smoke, the loud crackle of flames, and someone coughing as they tugged and pulled on him. It was a rude awakening, and he had stumbled half to his feet and started coughing himself before he was fully awake and aware that he was being half pulled and half led from the tent that was now awash in flames.
At first, Alex thought the person pulling him was Merry, and he had the brief thought that this would be the third time his wife had had to save his hide, but then he became aware that the body that had shifted to brace his own as they stumbled out of the tent into the cool night air was much larger than his pet.i.te wife.
Another fit of coughing seized Alex the moment he sucked clean fresh air in on top of the smoke filling his lungs, and he found himself doubled over and helpless to resist all the hands now pushing and pulling at him as more bodies surrounded him. In this state, he and his savior were propelled a safe distance away from the fire, and then Alex found himself pushed to sit on a boulder to catch his breath.
"Thank G.o.d," Gerhard got out between hacking coughs of his own as he dropped to sit beside him. "I thought sure you were done for."