A flock of clay sheep flew past his head and shattered to bits against the wall. "Stop it! That"s minel"
Tobin"s vision seemed to narrow to a long, dark tunnel, and all he could see at the end of it was his most cherished possession being torn to pieces. He struck out wildly, flailing with his fists to drive the hateful spirit away. He heard a loud pounding from somewhere nearby and fought harder, blind with fury, until his hand connected with something solid. He heard a startled cry. Strong hands grabbed him and wrestled him down to the floor.
"Tobin! Tobin, stop that!"
Gasping for breath, Tobin looked up at Nari. Tears were streaming down her plump cheeks and blood trickled from her nose.
A red droplet on a grouse"s beak-the same bright red on river ice- Tobin"s vision went completely black. Pain blossomed like a flower of fire in his chest, pressing a ragged wail from his lungs.
His mother"s birds beating themselves against the tower walls behind him as he looked down on her- No, don"t think- -broken body at the river"s edge.
Black hair and red blood on the ice.
The fiery ache disappeared, leaving him cold and empty.
"Oh Tobin, how could you?" Nari wept, still holding him down. "All your pretty things! Why?"
"I didn"t," he whispered, too tired to move.
"Oh, my poor love- Maker"s mercy, you spoke!" Nari gathered Tobin into her arms. "Oh, my love, you"ve found your voice at last."
She carried him next door to his bed and tucked him in, but he hardly noticed. He lay limp as the doll, remembering.
He remembered why he"d been in the tower.
He remembered why his mama was dead.
Why he had the doll.
She hadn"t given it to him.
Another swift, sharp stab of pain pierced Tobin"s chest, and he wondered if it was what Nari meant in her bedtime stories when she spoke of someone"s heart breaking.
She lay down beside him and held him close through the covers, stroking his hair the way she always did. It made him drowsy.
"Why?" he managed at last. "Why did Mama hate me?" But if Nari had an answer for this, he fell asleep before he heard it.
woke with a start in the night, knowing he"d left the doll lying somewhere in the toy room.
He slipped out of bed and hurried next door in his nightshirt, only to find that the room had been put right already. The tapestries were back on the walls. The wardrobe and chest were in their places. The ink was gone, and all the scattered toys. His city lay in ruins in the middle of the floor and he knew he must fix it before his father came home and saw.
But the doll was nowhere to be seen. Leaving the room, he searched the house, room after room, even the barracks and the stables.
There was no one else in the house. This frightened him terribly, for he"d never been so alone. Worse yet, he knew that the only place left to look was upstairs in the tower. He stood in the courtyard, looking up at the shuttered windows above the roofline.
"I can"t," he said aloud. "I don"t want to go up there."
As if in answer, the courtyard gate swung open with a creak of hinges, and Tobin caught a glimpse ofsomeone small and dark slipping away across the bridge.
He followed but as soon as he was through the gate he found himself deep in the forest, following a path that ran along the riverbank. Far ahead, half hidden by branches, he caught movement again and knew it was the demon.
He followed it to a clearing but it disappeared. The moon was up now and he could see two does grazing on the silvery, dew-covered gra.s.s. They p.r.i.c.ked up their ears at his approach, but didn"t spring away. Tobin went to them and stroked their soft brown muzzles. They bowed their heads under his hand, then sidled away into the dark forest. There was a hole in the ground, like the entrance to a fox"s burrow, where they"d been grazing. It was just big enough for him to crawl into, and he did.
Wiggling through, he found a room below very much like his mother"s tower chamber. The windows were open, but blocked by packed earth and roots. It was bright all the same, though, lit by a cheerful fire on the hearth in the center of the room. A table beside it was set with honey cakes and cups of milk, and next to that was a chair. It was turned away from him, but he could see that someone was sitting there, someone with long black hair.
"Mama?" Tobin asked, caught between joy and terror. The woman started to turn- And Tobin woke up.
He lay there a moment, blinking back tears as he listened to Nari"s soft snoring beside him. The dream had been so real, and he"d wanted to see his mother again so badly. He wanted her to be smiling and kind. He wanted for them to sit at the table by the fire and eat the honey cakes together, as they never had on any of his name days.
He burrowed deeper beneath the blankets, wondering if he could slip back into the dream. Suddenly a fragment of it brought him fully awake again.
He had left the doll in the toy room.
Slipping out of bed, he took the night lamp from its stand and went into the next room, wondering if it would all be the way it had been in his dream.
But the room was still a shambles. Everything lay where it had fallen. Trying not to look at the broken city, he hauled the heavy tapestries aside, looking for the doll where he must have dropped it.
It wasn"t there.
Crouched miserably with his arms around his knees, he pictured someone-Nari or Mynir perhaps-finding it and shaking their head in disapproval as they carried it away. Would they tell his father? Would they give it back?
Something struck him on the head and he toppled sideways, choking back a cry of alarm.
There was the doll on the floor beside him, where it most certainly had not been the moment before.
Tobin couldn"t see the demon but he could feel it, watching him from the far corner.
Slowly, cautiously, Tobin picked up the doll and whispered, "Thank you."
Chapter Not daring to risk losing the doll again, Tobin moved it back to his room, tying it up in the flour sack and burying it deep in the unused clothes chest under his parchments, some old toys, and his second-best cloak.
He felt a little easier after that, but the dream of going into the forest came to him three more times over the next week, always ending before he could reach the woman in the chair.
It was the same each time in every detail except one. In these dreams he was bringing the doll back to his mother, knowing she would keep it safe for him in her room under the ground.
Another week pa.s.sed, and the dream came again, growing so real in his mind that he knew at last that he must go see for himself if there really was such a place. This meant disobeying everyone and going out by himself, but the dream was too strong to be denied.
He bided his time and saw his chance one washing day in mid-Gorathin. Everyone would be busy in the kitchen yard all day. He worked with them in the morning, hauling buckets of water in from the river to fill the wash cauldron and dragging bundles of branches from the woodshed to start the fire. The eastern sky, so clear at dawn, was darkening ominously over the treetops and everyone was in a hurry to finish before the rain came.
He ate his midday meal with the others, then asked to be excused. Nari pulled him close and kissed him on the top of his head. She always seemed to be hugging him these days.
"What will you do with yourself, pet? Stay and keep us company."
"I want to work on my city." Tobin pressed his face against her shoulder so she wouldn"t see that he was lying. "Do you... do you think Father will be angry when he sees?"
"Of course not. I can"t imagine your father ever being angry with a boy as good as you. Isn"t that right, Cook?"
The woman nodded over her bread and cheese. "You"re the moon and sun to him."
The ash shovel by the hearth jumped off its nail with a loud clatter, but everyone pretended not to notice.
Freeing himself from Nari"s embrace, Tobin ran upstairs and waited by his window until he could hear everyone out in the yard again. Then, hiding the doll beneath his longest cloak, he crept downstairs again and slipped out the front gate. He half expected to be magically transported to the forest, as he always was in the dream, but simply ended up outside the wall. As the gate swung shut behind him, he froze for a moment, overcome by the enormity of what he was about to do. What if Nari found him gone? What if he met with a catamount or a wolf?
A rising breeze stroked his face with the scent of rain as he crept between the courtyard wall and the riverbank toward the forest. Robins were singing of the storm somewhere nearby, and doves called mournfully to each other in the trees.
The gate of the kitchen yard was still open. He could see Nari and Cook at work there as he pa.s.sed, laughing as they stirred the -wash pot with their wooden paddles. It felt very odd, standing out here looking in.
He continued on, following the wall past the base of the tower. He kept his eyes down as he pa.s.sed the boulders where his mother had died.
He reached the cover of the trees at last, and only now did it occur to Tobin that he had no idea where to go; in his dreams, he"d had the demon to guide him. But there had been a river in the dream and he had a river here, so he decided to follow it and hope for the best. He paused to check the sun"s position over his shoulder the way Tharin had taught him. It wasn"t so easy today. The sun was little more than a bright blur behind the haze.
The river is as good as a path, he thought. All I have to do is follow it home.
He"d never been this way before. The riverbank was steep and the trees grew down close to the water. To follow it, he had to clamber over rocks and wriggle through thick stands of willow and alder.
In low places he found animal tracks in the mud and scanned these nervously for signs of prowling catamounts. He found none, but still wished he"d thought to bring his bow.
The sky grew darker as he toiled on, and the wind began to toss the branches around overhead. There were no doves or robins calling now, just some ravens croaking nearby. Tobin"s arm cramped from carrying the doll. He thought of all the hiding places he"d seen on his rides, but the few holes he found here were all too wet. Even if he did find a dry hiding place, he wasn"t sure if he"d dare come out and visit it very often. On the heels of that thought came the realization that he did not want to be parted from it at all.
Better to keep going and look for that hidden room, he told himself.
But nothing looked the way it had in his dream. There was no clearing, no friendly deer waiting for him, just rocks and roots that caught his feet, little biting flies that buzzed in his ears, and mud that soaked his shoes. He was almost ready to give up when he struck a clear trail leading up to a pine grove on higher ground.
The way was much easier here. Fragrant rust-colored needles lay thick underfoot and his feet hardly made a sound as he walked. He followed this path eagerly, certain it would lead him to the clearing and the deer. In stead, it gradually grew fainter until it disappeared altogether beneath the thick, straight trunks of the pines. Turning around, he couldn"t see his way back. His feet had left no impression in the thick needles. He couldn"t even hear the sound of the river anymore, just the first patter of rain through the boughs. No matter what direction he turned, it all looked the same. The bit of sky he could see throughthe thick branches was an even blanket of grey with no hint of the sun.
The breeze had died and the day had turned close. Flies with big green eyes joined the clouds of tiny midges buzzing around him, biting him on the neck and behind his ears. The grand adventure was over.
Tobin was hot, frightened and lost.
He cast around frantically to find the path but it was no use. At last, he gave up and sat on a rock, wondering if Nan had noticed that he was gone yet.
It was quiet here. He heard a red squirrel"s angry trill and the sounds of small creatures creeping in the undergrowth around him. Little black ants toiled in the needles around his feet, carrying their eggs and bits of leaves. Exhausted, he leaned forward to watch them. One had a shiny beetle"s leg in its pinchers.
A long black snake as thick as Tobin"s wrist emerged from a hole under a nearby tree and slithered past his foot, paying no attention to him at all. Rain fell softly through the branches, and he could hear the different sounds the drops made, striking dead leaves, plants, rocks, and the needles on the ground.
Tobin wondered uneasily what catamount"s feet sounded like on pine needles, or if they made any sound at all.
"I thought you come today maybe."
Tobin nearly toppled off his rock as he whirled around. A small, black-haired woman sat on a mossy log just a few yards away, hands clasped in her lap. She was very dirty and wore a ragged brown rag of a dress decorated with animal teeth. Her hands and bare feet were stained, and there were sticks and bits of leaf tangled in her long, curly hair. She grinned at him, but her black eyes held no mockery.
Tobin thrust the doll behind him, shamed at being caught with it, even by a stranger. He was scared, too, noting the long knife sheathed at her belt. She didn"t look like one of his father"s tenants, and she spoke strangely.
She gave him a broad smile that lacked several teeth. "Look what I got, keesa." She moved her hands and he saw that she held a young rabbit on her lap. She stroked its ears and back. "You come see?"
Tobin hesitated, but curiosity overcame caution. He rose and slowly walked over to stand before her.
"You rub her," the woman said, showing him how to pat the rabbit. "She like."
Tobin stroked the rabbit"s back. Its fur was soft and warm under his hand and, like the deer in his dream, it wasn"t the least bit skittish.
"She like you."
Yes, thought Tobin, this woman didn"t speak like anyone he"d met in Alestun. He was close enough now to tell that she didn"t smell very good, either, but for some reason he wasn"t afraid anymore.
Keeping the doll hidden under his cloak, he knelt and patted the rabbit some more. "She"s soft. Dogs don"t let me pet them."
The woman clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Dogs don"t understanding." Before Tobin could ask what she meant, she said, "I waiting for you long time, keesa."
"My name isn"t Keesa. It"s Prince Tobin. I don"t know you, do I?"
"But I knowing you, keesa called Tobin. Knowing your poor mama, too. You got one was her thing."
So she had seen the doll. Blushing, Tobin slowly brought it out from under his cloak. She took it and pa.s.sed him the rabbit to hold.
"I Lhel. You don"t be scared me." She held the doll on her lap, smoothing it with her stained fingers. "I know you born. Watch for you."
Lhel? He"d heard that name somewhere before. "How come you never come to the keep?"
"I come." She winked at him. "Not be see."
"How come you don"t talk right?"
Lhel touched a finger playfully to his nose. "Maybe you teach? I teach, too. I wait be your teaching, all this time out in trees. Lonesome time, but I wait. You ready learn some things?"
"No. I was looking for-for-"
"Mama?"
Tobin nodded. "I saw her in a dream. In a room under the ground."
Lhel shook her head sadly. "Don"t her. Be me. That mama don"t be need now."
Sadness overwhelmed Tobin. "I want to go home!" Lhel patted his cheek. "Not so far. But you don"t come just get lost, no?" She patted the doll. "This give you some troubles."
"Well-"
"I know. You come, keesa."
She got up and walked off through the trees with the doll. Tobin had little choice but to follow.
V,"he washing didn"t take as long when Rhius and the men were away. With rain threatening, Nari and Cook made quick work of the clothing and linens while Mynir strung lines up in the hall for drying.
They were finished in time to start a proper supper.
"I"ll do the bread," Nari said, surveying the lines of dripping linen with satisfaction. "Just let me go see if Tobin wants to help."
The truth was, she didn"t feel easy in her mind leaving the child alone so much, not since the mess in the toy room. It could have been the spirit that tore the room up- the thought of Tobin heaving over that heavy wardrobe scared the liver out of her-but it had been Tobin she"d seen throwing toys and torn tapestries around, and he who"d attacked her, b.l.o.o.d.ying her nose before she could hold him. It was getting harder to tell when to blame the spirit, and when Tobin was in one of his fits. He"d been so strange since the death, keeping to himself and always acting as if he had some great secret he was keeping.