TARTUFFE, ELMIRE, ORGON

TARTUFFE (not seeing Orgon) All things conspire toward my satisfaction, Madam, I"ve searched the whole apartment through.

There"s no one here; and now my ravished soul ...

ORGON (stopping him) Softly! You are too eager in your amours; You needn"t be so pa.s.sionate. Ah ha!

My holy man! You want to put it on me!

How is your soul abandoned to temptation!

Marry my daughter, eh?--and want my wife, too?

I doubted long enough if this was earnest, Expecting all the time the tone would change; But now the proof"s been carried far enough; I"m satisfied, and ask no more, for my part.

ELMIRE (to Tartuffe) "Twas quite against my character to play This part; but I was forced to treat you so.

TARTUFFE What? You believe ... ?

ORGON Come, now, no protestations.

Get out from here, and make no fuss about it.

TARTUFFE But my intent ...

ORGON That talk is out of season.

You leave my house this instant.

TARTUFFE You"re the one To leave it, you who play the master here!

This house belongs to me, I"ll have you know, And show you plainly it"s no use to turn To these low tricks, to pick a quarrel with me, And that you can"t insult me at your pleasure, For I have wherewith to confound your lies, Avenge offended Heaven, and compel Those to repent who talk to me of leaving.

SCENE VIII

ELMIRE, ORGON

ELMIRE What sort of speech is this? What can it mean?

ORGON My faith, I"m dazed. This is no laughing matter.

ELMIRE What?

ORGON From his words I see my great mistake; The deed of gift is one thing troubles me.

ELMIRE The deed of gift ...

ORGON Yes, that is past recall.

But I"ve another thing to make me anxious.

ELMIRE What"s that?

ORGON You shall know all. Let"s see at once Whether a certain box is still upstairs.

ACT V

SCENE I

ORGON, CLEANTE

CLEANTE Whither away so fast?

ORGON How should I know?

CLEANTE Methinks we should begin by taking counsel To see what can be done to meet the case.

ORGON I"m all worked up about that wretched box.

More than all else it drives me to despair.

CLEANTE That box must hide some mighty mystery?

ORGON Argas, my friend who is in trouble, brought it Himself, most secretly, and left it with me.

He chose me, in his exile, for this trust; And on these doc.u.ments, from what he said, I judge his life and property depend.

CLEANTE How could you trust them to another"s hands?

ORGON By reason of a conscientious scruple.

I went straight to my traitor, to confide In him; his sophistry made me believe That I must give the box to him to keep, So that, in case of search, I might deny My having it at all, and still, by favour Of this evasion, keep my conscience clear Even in taking oath against the truth.

CLEANTE Your case is bad, so far as I can see; This deed of gift, this trusting of the secret To him, were both--to state my frank opinion-- Steps that you took too lightly; he can lead you To any length, with these for hostages; And since he holds you at such disadvantage, You"d be still more imprudent, to provoke him; So you must go some gentler way about.

ORGON What! Can a soul so base, a heart so false, Hide neath the semblance of such touching fervour?

I took him in, a vagabond, a beggar! ...

"Tis too much! No more pious folk for me!

I shall abhor them utterly forever, And henceforth treat them worse than any devil.

CLEANTE So! There you go again, quite off the handle!

In nothing do you keep an even temper.

You never know what reason is, but always Jump first to one extreme, and then the other.

You see your error, and you recognise That you"ve been cozened by a feigned zeal; But to make up for"t, in the name of reason, Why should you plunge into a worse mistake, And find no difference in character Between a worthless scamp, and all good people?

What! Just because a rascal boldly duped you With pompous show of false austerity, Must you needs have it everybody"s like him, And no one"s truly pious nowadays?

Leave such conclusions to mere infidels; Distinguish virtue from its counterfeit, Don"t give esteem too quickly, at a venture, But try to keep, in this, the golden mean.

If you can help it, don"t uphold imposture; But do not rail at true devoutness, either; And if you must fall into one extreme, Then rather err again the other way.

SCENE II

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