"Okay."
Grier was still sitting on the bed in his underwear when Lil walked into the room.
"Here you go love, take this with the water."
"What is it?"
"A happy pill."
Grier shook his head and snorted in disgust but swallowed it anyway. "I"m sorry about this. I"ll leave as soon as it"s light out."
"Don"t even think about it. Close your eyes and rest."
Grier lay on the bed and covered his eyes with his forearm. Lil left the room as soon as he heard the snoring.
Chapter 15.
THE espresso roast had already brewed by the time Lil slid into his seat across from Jody and Clark at the kitchen table. He accepted the cup that Jody handed him and took a sip. espresso roast had already brewed by the time Lil slid into his seat across from Jody and Clark at the kitchen table. He accepted the cup that Jody handed him and took a sip.
"What happened?" Clark scowled. The years had done nothing to diminish Clark"s beauty, in fact, maturity and self-confidence had added another element to his overall appearance, and he was breathtaking, despite his disheveled just-got-out-of bed look. His jewel-toned eyes were peering at Lil intently, expecting an answer.
"Grier lost it after someone called him a loser."
"I told you to be careful." Clark lifted off his seat. "You know nothing about this guy!"
"Clark, relax," Jody said, pulling him back down. "Let"s hear him out."
Lil recounted the chain of events, beginning with the dinner and Grier"s bad mood. When he explained what happened in the bathroom, and Grier"s complete loss of control, he wasn"t surprised that Clark and Jody were speechless for a few minutes.
"Is the other jerk okay?" Clark asked.
"His neck looked like he"d escaped a hanging, and he"ll be feeling the effects of the blows for a few days, but yeah, he"s fine."
"Christ," Jody exclaimed.
"It was pretty shocking."
"It sounds like Grier"s got anger-management problems," Clark said. "You"d better break it off with him."
"Wait a minute," Jody cautioned. "You"re a.s.suming he"s got anger issues without even listening to his side. As I recall, there was one very frustrated football player who would routinely knock holes into Sheetrock before I laid my loving hands on him."
"That"s different," Clark defended.
"Why?" Lil countered. "Because it was you? You have no idea what kind of pressure Grier is dealing with. From the little I"ve gathered, he"s being played by that b.i.t.c.h who mothered his child. They may have had a fight, his father may have lit into him, or his a.s.shole brother could have done something to set him off. Give him a break, will you?"
"Why should we when you"re obviously giving him every excuse under the sun. Someone"s got to watch out for you, Lil. What if he"s got "roid rage?" Clark suggested. "He"s got the body, why not the temperament?"
"Grier is one of the kindest, gentlest men I"ve ever known. You should see him with his son."
"Lil," Jody soothed, "we"re only playing devil"s advocate here. You"re in love with a guy you"ve known for what, four days?"
"Who"s counting? I know in my gut and in my heart, he"s a good person."
"I think it"s your d.i.c.k that"s doing the thinking right now, bud."
"Clark!" Lil and Jody said simultaneously.
"I"m just saying. You sure are giving him a lot of leeway."
"It"s my decision, my choice, and my life," Lil pointed out. "I would appreciate a little more support and a lot less negativity."
"Wow... you really are hooked on him," Clark said in disbelief.
"I think we"ve established that."
"I"ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but I want you to be honest and tell me if there"s another incident like this. Promise me, Lil." Jody pinned him down with one of his more forceful doctor looks, and Lil agreed with a quick nod.
"I"m positive this was an isolated event," Lil rationalized. "It was the booze talking, and whatever baggage Grier brought to dinner." He stood and placed his empty cup in the sink. "Get me up before you leave, okay?"
"You"re on vacation, Lil. What"s with the time clock?" Clark asked.
"I"m not sure if Grier needs to be somewhere today. I want him to sleep for a few more hours, but I"d better get him up before noon."
"Lil?"
"What, Clark?" Lil sighed, fully expecting more unwanted advice.
"I do like Grier."
"Fooled me."
"He seems like a nice guy, but I"ve learned to question things, and not trust people blindly like I used to. It took awhile to get here, but I hope you understand that it"s because I care for you and want you to be safe."
"Thank you for saying that. It"s nice to know you"re watching out for me, but I trust my instincts, Clark. I don"t think Grier is a bad person."
"Good people are just as likely to get frustrated, Lil. One has nothing to do with the other. I had some harrowing moments before Jody rescued me, and I don"t consider myself a bad person."
"I hear you. Let me try and get to the bottom of this before we jump to conclusions, okay?"
LIL went downstairs and crawled into bed. He was exhausted and needed to recharge his batteries, or he"d be useless the rest of the day. Despite everyone"s misgivings, he had no qualms about sleeping beside a man who"d almost choked someone to death. Grier looked angelic in sleep, and Lil scooted up to him, gently sliding an arm under Grier, pulling him closer. He fell into a deep sleep and only awoke when he felt the bed shift. Grier was dressed and looked ready to bolt. went downstairs and crawled into bed. He was exhausted and needed to recharge his batteries, or he"d be useless the rest of the day. Despite everyone"s misgivings, he had no qualms about sleeping beside a man who"d almost choked someone to death. Grier looked angelic in sleep, and Lil scooted up to him, gently sliding an arm under Grier, pulling him closer. He fell into a deep sleep and only awoke when he felt the bed shift. Grier was dressed and looked ready to bolt.
"Hey," Lil said sleepily. "Are you leaving already?"
"I have to go." Grier"s tone was resolute and uninviting.
"Sit with me for a minute, love."
Grier perched on the side of the bed and stared at a spot over Lil"s head. He couldn"t look him in the eye, and Lil reached out and clasped his hand gently. "Please look at me."
"You must think I"m some kind of psycho."
"I don"t."
"I"m so ashamed."
"Don"t, love."
"Would you believe me if I told you I"ve never done anything like this before?"
"Of course I believe you."
"I"ve never acted out like thatask anyone who knows me. When I"m frustrated or angry I don"t fight. I get another tattoo or go for a marathon bike ride."
"So your tattoos are a symbol of your pain?"
"Yes and no... it started out that way. It was the only part of my life I could control. n.o.body could monitor my body or tell me what to do with myself, so I went a little crazy with the tattoos, but now I think of it as body art. I no longer use them as an outlet for my feelings of helplessness."
"What do you do when you feel like life is getting away from you?"
"I take my bike and go on a road trip. By the time I"m back, my head is usually on straight. The guys I ride with don"t let me wallow in my misery for too long."
"They sound like good friends."
"They are. Lil, I want to pay you back for the money you spent last night."
"We"ll work it out," Lil said.
"What were the damages?"
"Grier, it"s not important."
"Please tell me."
"I gave the club manager my credit card. He"s supposed to call me in the next few days and give me the final figure."
"You practically gave him a blank check?"
"Pretty much."
"Jesus, Lil."
"Hey, how much can a bathroom door cost?"
"What about the guy I hit?"
"Fortunately for you, he"s one of the club"s biggest troublemakers. This wasn"t his first offense, and he was more than happy to keep the cops out of the picture. I did offer to pick up his medical expenses through the club. I"m not dealing with him directly."
"He was an a.s.shole."
"You were both drunk and got carried away."
Grier shook his head forcefully. "I still can"t believe I put my fist through the door like a character out of Iron Man Iron Man. What was I thinking?"
"You weren"t."
"Christ, I could have hurt him really bad."
"Sweetie, it"s over... stop dwelling on it."
"I can"t stop! This is going to haunt me for a while."
"It"ll get better."
"I have to go."
"Will I see you later?"
"I"ll be at the Taste from four to close."
"Can I meet you there?"
"Do you really want to hang out with me after last night?"
Lil sat up and drew Grier into his arms. He was stiff, and resisted, but Lil hung on. "Don"t push me away, love. I"m on your side."
Grier didn"t say anything, but he visibly relaxed and leaned into Lil. They paused for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe. "Thank you for believing in me."
"Grier, I trust you."
"You don"t know how much it means to be with someone who isn"t judging me all the time."
"You"re a good man and a very good father."
Grier pushed away, and Lil could see the vulnerability laid bare, the dark eyes swamped by tears. He kissed him deeply, hoping to provide some comfort, but broke off the kiss before Grier broke down completely. The last thing his lover needed was to feel even more humbled and stripped of pride. "Go do your thing, love. I"ll see you tonight."
Grier leaned his forehead against Lil"s and drew in a ragged breath. "Thank you."
"You"re welcome."