"This is Chicago," Grier teased, "not the Appalachians. We do have access to most everything you have in San Francisco and then some."
"I know," Lil apologized. "I forget you"re the great hub. Still, there are things in San Francisco that you"ll never find in Chicago."
"Such as?"
"Me," Lil smiled meaningfully.
"Dork."
Dessert was the highly touted Key Lime Pie, which they shared willingly. "I"m stuffed," Grier announced, putting down his teaspoon. "Put one more thing in my mouth, and I"ll puke."
Lil raised his eyebrows. "I hope you"re not serious."
"You"re too much," Grier laughed. "Come on, let"s get out of here."
They split the check, and Lil didn"t even attempt to demur, knowing how Grier was about money and paying his way. It was an unexpectedly pleasant evening, and they drove back down to Chicago, relieved that the roads were clear since rush hour had long pa.s.sed.
"Do you want to go out?" Grier asked. "I won"t be able to be with you tomorrow evening because I have to help break down the booth at the Taste; plus, I need to pack."
"I"d rather not go out," Lil said. "Why don"t we sit in the hot tub and just talk?"
"Sounds good," Grier nodded.
"HOW are you feeling, Grier?" Jody asked, once they were settled in the swirling waters of the hot tub. Clark and Jody had been in the kitchen when Lil and Grier walked in and ended up joining them on the roof. Each man had a bottle of beer in hand and looked utterly content. are you feeling, Grier?" Jody asked, once they were settled in the swirling waters of the hot tub. Clark and Jody had been in the kitchen when Lil and Grier walked in and ended up joining them on the roof. Each man had a bottle of beer in hand and looked utterly content.
"I"ve got a little bruising on my hand."
"You"re lucky you didn"t break anything."
"G.o.d protects drunks and fools, and last night I was both. I"m really sorry for all the trouble I put you through."
"Don"t stress... I"m a trauma doctor, and I"m married to a man who has a checkered past with Sheetrock."
"Hey! I haven"t exploded in years," Clark protested.
"True, but I wanted to rea.s.sure Grier."
"s.h.i.t happens, you know?" Clark huffed. "Jo-Jo taught me how to work out the anger in more positive ways."
"I understand," Grier said, nodding, "I"m going to have to make some hard decisions soon, and that will probably help with this pent-up frustration."
"It can"t hurt," Clark retorted. "The hardest part is admitting you need to make a change. It"s so much easier to do nothing."
Grier looked surprised. "I know you had some issues in the past, but I don"t really know the whole story."
"Lil will fill you in on the details," Clark offered. "Bottom lineI was trying to please everyone, but I failed miserably. I hurt the one person who meant the most in the whole world, and I almost lost him. I don"t want to see you go through that h.e.l.l if it can be prevented."
"Thank you. You guys have been great considering we"ve just met."
"Lil is like a brother to me," Jody explained. "Next to Clark, he"s the most important person in my life, and I want him to be happy. If you can contribute to his happiness in any way, then you"ll always be considered a friend."
"And if you don"t," Clark said forcefully, "I"ll wring your f.u.c.king neck."
Grier looked at the pair and confessed, "I"m still coming to terms with a lot of my issues, and knowing that Lil is in my corner has made a vast difference in my confidence level. I know you"ll find this hard to believe since we"ve only known each other for six days, but there"s a world of feeling inside of me for your friend, and I give you my word that I will never do anything to hurt him deliberately."
Lil put his arm around Grier"s shoulders and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek while Jody and Clark looked on.
"That"s good enough for me," Jody declared. "Now, let"s talk about your plans for next week. I understand you"re flying out to San Francisco."
Chapter 20.
GRIER listened patiently as Jillian recited every reason under the sun as to why he shouldn"t go on his trip. He"d held off talking to her until the last of the equipment had been loaded onto the Vinita truck, and Enteng had headed back out to Elk Grove Village, another successful Taste of Chicago under his belt. listened patiently as Jillian recited every reason under the sun as to why he shouldn"t go on his trip. He"d held off talking to her until the last of the equipment had been loaded onto the Vinita truck, and Enteng had headed back out to Elk Grove Village, another successful Taste of Chicago under his belt.
"This is short notice," she complained. "How can you do this to me?"
"The invitation was unexpected, but it"s an opportunity for me to explore a city that"s always interested me."
"Why? Because they fly the rainbow flag so proudly?"
"You know what? I"m sick and tired of your new h.o.m.ophobic att.i.tude. Where the f.u.c.k is this coming from?"
"It"s always been there."
"You and I have been friends forever, Jillian. We"ve shared a million firsts, and I"ve never felt this kind of antagonism. Is this because you now have a man in your life who will be able to give you everything you"ve always wanted? Is that any reason to turn on me? I"ve done everything I can possibly do for you and Luca, yet you"re acting like I"m sc.u.m because I"m attracted to the same s.e.x."
"I"m angry because you have no qualms about leaving us for some queer you met a few days ago."
"And yet, you have absolutely no regard for my feelings when you insert another man into Luca"s life without consulting me."
"He"s your brother; he"s not just anyone!"
"That"s immaterial. The truth is another man will be stepping into a role that should, by all rights, be mine. I won"t allow it."
"And how do you plan on stopping me?"
"I don"t know, but when I do, you"ll be the first one to find out."
"Are you going to turn this into a huge legal fight?"
"I will if I have to. I made a mistake when I let you tell everyone this was a rape case. I was blindsided by your pregnancy, and yes, freaked out by the reality of becoming a father."
"Exactly! Did you actually think I was going to tell the world I was stupid enough to let a queer f.u.c.k me?"
"As I recall, you were doing the f.u.c.king."
"Go to h.e.l.l, Grier! You"ll never be able to prove Luca is your child. It"s my word against yours, and I won"t allow DNA testing."
"You"ll have to if I get a court order."
"You do that, and I"ll tell everyone you like to run around in pink underwear. Do you think you"ll get custody of a young boy when they hear that?"
"You"re a f.u.c.king b.i.t.c.h, and you know that"s not how it is. What I do in my personal life has nothing to do with my love for Luca. I"m a d.a.m.n good father and a much better caregiver than you will ever be."
"I"m a good mother," Jillian spat out.
"When you"re around; he spends half his life with sitters."
"I"m trying to earn a living."
"So am I."
"Moving furniture," Jillian sneered. "Wow, that"s awesome."
"You"re pushing me right into the lawyer"s office, Jillian."
"Once again, it"s your word against mine. I"m the golden child, remember? I"m the one who"s brought home the medals and honors for the family. I"m not a loser, Grier."
"And that"s what this is all about, isn"t it? It"s what this has always been about. You couldn"t tell your mom and dad that you actually screwed up. Couldn"t face the Filipino community who looked up to the Garcias as role models of what they could achieve in America if they worked hard enough. You had to be the best and preferred to be seen as the casualty of an act of violence, rather than the cliched unwed teenager. Would they have made fun of you if you admitted you"d slept with someone who wasn"t really into you? That you got me drunk, and basically coerced me, to see if that would change my s.e.xual orientation? Of course not! Jillian Garcia would rather be seen as a victim than a laughingstock, is that it?"
The slap was unexpected and the sting went far beyond the surface. Grier stepped back, controlling the terrible urge to strike back. He held his breath instead and choked down his anger. "If you were a guy, you"d be on your a.s.s right now."
"If I were a guy, we"d be f.u.c.king married," Jillian sobbed. "Why do you have to be gay?"
Grier gaped at her, completely at a loss for words.
"Go!" Jillian shrieked. "Go to San Francisco with your queer boyfriend and never come back!"
"Oh, I"ll be back," Grier stressed. "You can count on it... and if you try and do anything stupid while I"m gone, I"ll go to Ali and tell him what kind of a person he"s about to marry. He has no clue that the saintly Jillian has slept with his brother, does he?"
"Don"t you dare," Jillian hissed at him. Her angelic beauty seemed to morph before Grier"s eyes, a direct result of his bitter disappointment in seeing her true character emerge. The almond-shaped eyes turned reptilian as they squinted in anger, and he could feel her rage radiating off her slight body. She fought for self-control, he gave her that much, taking several deep breaths to shut down the anger. "So we"re at an impa.s.se for now," she remarked coldly.
"It appears so."
"When will you be back?"
"Next weekend."
"Are you planning on telling Luca?"
"I"m taking him to McDonald"s."
"Did you ask my permission?"
Grier snorted. "Since when?"
"Next time, I wish to be informed before you take him anywhere. And that stunt you pulled with the kitten is never to be repeated, do you understand?"
"Why? Because you didn"t think of it first?"
"f.u.c.k. You."
"Ditto," Grier spat out. "See you in a week."
"LUCA, no one"s going to steal your fries," Grier teased, watching his son shove them into his mouth two at a time. "Slow down, buddy."
"Yummy," Luca garbled.
"When was the last time you had any food?"
He shrugged. "Don"t remember."
Grier frowned, wondering if this was nothing, or if he should be concerned. "Who watched you today?"
"Lola and then and then t.i.to t.i.to A." A."
"I"m sure Lola Lola gave you a good breakfast, right?" gave you a good breakfast, right?"
Luca nodded. "Thpam, and rithe rithe, and egg."
"Typical," Grier muttered to himself. He remembered many similar breakfasts at the Garcia house. Rice was a staple, and so was Spam. Go figure.
"Okay, so what was lunch?"
"Cheerioth."
"Huh?"
"t.i.to A was watching TV, and then he fell A was watching TV, and then he fell athleep. athleep. I got the I got the thereal thereal and ate it from the box." and ate it from the box."
"With no milk?"
"Nuh-uh."
Grier shook his head in disgust and murmured. "Unbelievable... anything since then?"