"Since when does Ali have any say in Luca"s life?" Grier"s anger still simmered.
"Since Jillian and I started dating... I may end up being Luca"s daddy."
Grier was so shocked he was speechless. He turned questioning eyes to Jillian, who looked embarra.s.sed at Ali"s outburst.
"It"s premature to make that kind of statement, Ali."
"I thought we had something going?" Ali queried.
Jillian leaned in and bussed his cheek. "Let"s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?"
"Sure," Ali said, smiling at her. "We"ll take it nice and easy, right?"
"Right."
Chapter 7.
BY THE THE time Lil opened the front door and stared at a weary Grier, it was almost eleven o"clock in the evening. time Lil opened the front door and stared at a weary Grier, it was almost eleven o"clock in the evening.
"Sorry about the time. It took forever to close everything down."
"It"s okay. I knew you"d be late."
Grier appeared reluctant to cross over the threshold. Lil had to coax him with a gentle touch. "Come on, Grier, a nice cold beer is just what you need."
"That would be great," Grier replied, relieved when he saw that Lil was cordial and the earlier chill had thawed somewhat. He accepted the beer gratefully and followed Lil down the stairs to his bas.e.m.e.nt suite.
"Talk to me," Lil said after he threw himself on the bed. He patted the area beside him, and Grier perched gingerly. He took several long pulls of the beer before he could start speaking.
"Have you ever done something so colossally stupid you can"t bear to tell anyone?"
"People make mistakes all the time, Grier."
"Luca is not a mistake," Grier said fiercely.
"Hey, take it easy." Lil gentled the sudden flare in temper by rubbing Grier"s jeans-clad thigh. "Luca is a wonderful child and could never be called a mistake. I apologize for my earlier comments, Grier, you don"t need to explain or justify anything to me."
Grier relaxed visibly, moving a little closer to Lil, instead of bolting like a skittish animal. However, he continued to pick at the beer label, shredding it with his thumbnail until the bottle was clean.
"I"ve never shared this with anyone expect my mother, Lil. I don"t even know why I"m telling you."
"Maybe you just need a listening ear."
"But I"ve only known you for two and a half days, and yet"
"There"s a connection," Lil said, nodding. "I feel it as well."
Grier took a deep breath and blurted out, "My mother cried when I told her."
"Did she?"
"I told her about a month before she died."
"Why did you wait so long?"
"I thought she"d get better. If I had known the outcome of her illness, I would have confessed a lot sooner."
"Did she get to spend any time with him?"
"A few visits, certainly not enough to make an impression on Luca. He never asks about her."
"You can tell him about his grandmother when he gets older."
"I suppose."
"Did your mom have any words of advice?"
"She told me to claim him regardless of the fallout."
"Why didn"t you?"
"It would have destroyed a long-standing friendship between our families."
Lil moved over to make room. "Come here," he said, pulling Grier into his arms. He could feel the slight trembling in the long limbs and was honored that Grier was willing to divulge such a guarded secret. He hardly knew the man but could only imagine how difficult this journey must have been without anyone to guide him or share the burden of the guilt. The pain in Grier"s voice, and the terrible fear and hurt in the dark eyes, reversed Lil"s earlier opinion of him being a heartless man who could walk away from his responsibilities. He should have known that there was more to this story, and he felt terrible about making a snap judgment. After a few minutes, Grier began to talk again.
"I love Jillian," Grier stated. "She"s funny, smart, and very brave."
"And quite beautiful from the little I"ve seen."
"That too," Grier acknowledged. "She"s also a stubborn, selfish b.i.t.c.h who thinks she knows it all."
"Whoa."
"It"s true, Lil. Jillian decided that I was Ken to her Barbie when we were five years old."
Lil laughed. "No one can accuse her of being wishy-washy."
"No," Grier continued. "The bottom line is she was obsessed with me, and our families played along with her fantasy. She was the little princess amongst the three boys and always got her way. When she began to notice that I"d rather be Barbie than Ken, she was outraged."
"I"ll bet."
"She was sure that she could change me."
"It"s hard to let go of a dream."
"She started telling our parents that I was sweet on her. She"d go out of her way to catch me in private and rub up against me like some h.o.r.n.y cat. She was convinced I"d succ.u.mb to her charms."
"Well, you must have at one point."
"Lil, I was on the cusp of my eighteenth birthday. The sum total of my s.e.xual experience could fit in the palm of my hand. I was perpetually h.o.r.n.y and would have gotten hard if the wind blew against my d.i.c.k."
"I gather she did-blow it, I mean."
"Pfft... hardly."
"What happened?"
"We went to the senior prom together, and I got s.h.i.tfaced. Afterward, she pretty much forced me."
"That little thing? She"s barely five feet tall."
"She"s actually five two and has a brown belt in Taekwondo."
"We"re digressing."
"Right. Anyway, Jillian was determined to have s.e.x with me. She"d convinced herself that once we went to bed I"d see the light. She had me naked and hard in less than five minutes, and before I knew what was happening, I was inside her and pumping away frantically."
"s.h.i.t... and no condom, of course."
"Of course not! I"m ashamed to say I barely remember her body or the experience."
"Then what did you guys do?"
"We hardly spoke to each other after that. She must have had an epiphany that night, realizing I wasn"t going to morph into Ken despite her beguiling ways."
"The pregnancy?"
"Before I left for college in August, she told me she was pregnant. I was shocked, and frightened, but I offered to marry her."
"You"ve got to be kidding me."
"I didn"t know what else to do."
"Thank G.o.d she had the brains to say no."
"Jill not only said no no, she told me to stop worrying about it because she would have an abortion, and then, in the same breath, sent me off to college with a hug."
"She obviously had a change of heart."
"I should have known she was lying! Jillian is a healer, Lil. She"s always wanted to be a nurse like her mother. When I came home for Thanksgiving, she was five months pregnant. I almost died when I saw her."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing! The tension around both houses was terrible. Jillian had told everyone she was raped and refused to have an abortion. Her parents were blindsided, and mine were sympathetic to the umpteenth degree. Jillian was like a child to them as well."
"I don"t understand the whole rape scenario."
"She didn"t want to destroy the friendship between our families. I"ll give her that much. She stood her ground and never caved despite their badgering. It was easier to blame some unknown a.s.sailant than admit that I"d violated her," Grier spat out.
"But it was the other way around!?" Lil exclaimed. He was outraged at Jillian"s manipulation. "This woman is something else."
"I know it looks s.h.i.tty, but she does care for me. She wanted to protect me from the wrath of our respective fathers, who would have cheerfully castrated me if they found out the truth."
"What happened when Luca was born?"
"I wasn"t around," Grier said bitterly. "She had him in March, and she put "unknown" under father on his birth certificate. She even named him without consulting me."
"Luca is a nice name."
"That"s not the point. She didn"t give me a chance to be a part of his birth or his naming."
"I guess she wanted to relieve you of the responsibility."
"I guess," Grier buried his face against Lil"s neck. "You smell good."
"Thank you, but don"t change the subject."
"What else do you want to know?"
"Have you talked about the future? Luca seems very comfortable with you, so I"m a.s.suming you"re involved in his life, however remotely."
"I"ve put my life on hold for this boy. Why do you think I still live with my dad? So I can be close to Luca. I"ve been the official babysitter since he was two years old. And I"m saving on rent so I can help toward his future."
"You"re putting money away for him or giving it to Jillian?"
"I opened a trust fund for him shortly after he was born. I put in about three hundred dollars a month."
"You must have thousands in there by now."
"He"ll need it for college."
"Does Jillian work?"
"Yes. She finished her nursing degree after Luca was born and graduated at the top of her cla.s.s. She did end up following in t.i.ta t.i.ta Nita"s footsteps after all." Nita"s footsteps after all."
"You call her mother t.i.ta t.i.ta?"
"Yes, we"ve totally a.s.similated the Filipino culture."
"I think that"s great."
"It makes it easier for Luca."