"I don"t need music, Raelyn." He pressed his lips to the top of my head. "I just need you."
So, I let him lead me around the top of the balcony, beneath the stars, where it was just him and me and the evening sky. Even though it felt as if we had the weight of the world on our shoulders and everything was against us, he was all I needed, too.
It was nearly one in the morning by the time Damien and I arrived back at his house. I was lost in my head as we exited the car and crossed through the breezeway to his home. All I could think about was my overwhelming need to have Damien"s hands on me.
Once I was inside the door, I dropped my clutch on a small end table, and I shifted my leg to prepare to kick off my heels when Damien ordered, "Keep them on," in that commanding low tone of his.
A raging heat instantly ignited in my core and sizzled outward, so I sauntered up the curvy staircase with an extra sway in my hips in hopes of driving him wild with l.u.s.t, just as he had done to me.
I reached the center of his bedroom, my heels clinking against the hardwood floor, before I turned to face him.
"You"ve tortured me all night with that dress, and now, it"s time for me to return the favor." His eyes blazed with a panty-melting heat, virtually incinerating the black lacy material from my body with just one look. "Take it off, Raelyn."
I backed up a small step to increase the distance between us, well aware my actions would rile him up. "And if I don"t?" I asked, feigning innocence.
"Then, I won"t be held accountable for ripping all that black lace to shreds when I remove it from your gorgeous body." His expression reflected the way I felt inside as he removed his jacket and tossed it to the side before tugging his collared white shirt out of his pants.
I defiantly tilted my head to the side. "You can"t ruin this new gown. It"s recently become my favorite."
"I"m glad you think so. But you"re the one playing with fire." He advanced toward me with a determined step and yanked at his tie with more force than necessary to loosen it. "I"m not a patient man, Raelyn. Get it off. Now."
Damien always held the power in the bedroom. I wanted to take control of the reins tonight even if it was just this once.
I could see the desperation and determination in his eyes to have me. It made me think of something I desperately wanted, too.
"Okay," I murmured in agreement, noting the victory in his gaze. "But I want something from you in return first."
A brief uncertainty flickered through his features. "And what"s that?"
I tugged my lower lip between my teeth, suddenly unsure of my request. This could go one way or the other. I forced myself to speak before I lost my bravery, "I want you to take your shirt off for me." I could accept him needing time to let me into his painful past, but this, touching him, I longed for.
Visible walls crashed down around his eyes. His body tensed, instantly on high alert. "No." His tone was absolute, final.
He always seemed to be calmer when he had his hands on me, so I stepped forward and softly replied, "Please."
My movements caused Damien to retreat several inches. "No, Raelyn." He rapidly shook his head from side to side.
"You"ve let me see and touch them before," I gently reminded him of his scars. "Why won"t you now?"
"Because I"ve never let anyone see or feel them before you. No one, Raelyn." He broke our connection and glanced away. "And in my moment of carelessness, you made me remember exactly why I hadn"t."
Hundreds of sharp knives repeatedly stabbed at my heart at the memory of our first night on the beach, piercing me deeply. I vowed to myself right then and there that I"d take my last breath trying to resolve this profound misunderstanding between us.
During chemotherapy, I"d lived in my own personal h.e.l.l. I"d been a sickly one hundred and three pounds. At five foot four, that was skin and bones. Every time I"d ever looked in the mirror, it was as though I had been staring at a lifeless corpse. I"d lost my hair, my natural glow, everything that made me, me.
I was still skinnier than I preferred to be, but d.a.m.n it, I was beautiful and s.e.xy.
And so was he.
I would stop at nothing until he saw how utterly attractive and s.e.xy and perfect he was to me.
"You couldn"t be more mistaken if you tried, Damien. I"ve never judged you, nor would I ever." I made sure my voice rang with the utmost conviction as I reached around to the zipper of my dress and lowered it before letting the black lace fall to my ankles. I stepped out of it, one foot at a time, and kicked the material away from me.
Damien"s eyes smoked out. He appeared ready to devour me in a nanosecond.
Wanting to further turn him on, I grasped the clasp of my bra and unlatched it before gradually pulling the straps off of my shoulders. I threw the material aside before making work of my panties next.
I stood before him, naked and unabashed. "I"ve given you my whole body, Damien, imperfections and all, without reservations, and now, I need you to give me yours."
Leaving my heels in place, I finished closing the small gap between us while keeping my gaze locked on his. "I ache for it. I long to have your skin beneath my palms, to feel your body react to my touch, the way mine does to yours."
I gingerly placed my hands at the top of his shirt, along his neck, where I found the first b.u.t.ton.
Damien clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides. It pained me to witness the internal struggle in his eyes.
"I"ve told you, Raelyn. Take me as I am," he said, repeating the same words he"d said to me once before.
"You know that I do," I solemnly vowed. "But I want to see you. I want to feel you." My fingers trembled with nerves as I unfastened his shirt, one b.u.t.ton at a time, while I feared he would deny my one wish.
One day, I hoped he would confide in me, too. That could wait though. For him to accept that I loved him, scars and all, was far more important.
My heart stammered in my chest at my choice of words.
Love...
Before I lost my nerve at my revelation, I undid the last b.u.t.ton at the bottom of his shirt. The fine material opened and exposed his bare chest to me. Damien inhaled a deep breath. I set my palm over his heart where I felt the beating of it accelerate, pulsing ferociously against my palm.
With me gazing into his eyes with nothing other than love and adoration and acceptance, he stared back at me with his expression precisely reflecting mine. The moment was unbelievably intense, raw, and powerful.
"You say that I"m beautiful. But what you don"t realize is that I have flaws of my own, Damien." I skimmed my fingers to his stomach, feeling each solid plane of his abdomen. "They might not be visible on my flesh, but they penetrate the depths of my heart, and they"ve left a permanent mark on me." Just as you have, I added silently to myself, unwilling to say that part aloud. "So, it seems that we are two kindred souls, you and me."
And we were, in this moment.
Ever so slowly, I clasped either side of his shirt, and then I pushed it off his shoulders and down the length of his long arms. It fell to the floor without so much as a single sound. The only noise to be heard in the bedroom was Damien"s strenuous breath coming and going.
Astounded he"d let me go this far, I set my hands on each of his pectoral muscles, being sure to remain in the safe zone, so I wouldn"t push him too far, too fast. Then, I reached up on my toes and pressed my mouth to his.
At first, he was stiff and a bit shaky. I sensed he was nervous that I might move my hands upward. I didn"t. Instead, I swept my tongue along his lower lip, tenderly and intimately, silently willing him to let me in while also thanking him for trusting me to expose his bare torso to me. He softened against me and welcomed me inside.
Our pa.s.sionate soft kiss quickly escalated into one of fervent hunger and primal desire when Damien deepened our embrace. One hand came to the back of my neck while the spare went to the base of my spine, so he could pull me flush against him.
My pulse thrummed harder and harder within my veins at his palpable impatience to claim me. My b.r.e.a.s.t.s became heavy and full as my nipples pressed and rubbed along the firmness of him. The connection of his chest to mine was something so simple, yet for Damien and me, it was profoundly intimate. And it ended all too soon when his hands gripped my hips to spin me around to face the bed.
Damien shucked his pants and boxers in a flash before bending me slightly forward at the waist. My hands automatically came out in front of me, and I flattened my palms on the mattress to steady myself. His fingers raced from my nape, down my spine, over the curve of my b.u.t.tocks, and along my upper thighs. The sensational feeling of his hands on me was exquisite, addicting.
I was addicted to him.
Damien hunched over me, gently grasped my hair, and tilted my head to the side, causing his hot breath to wash over me. "I want you like this, Raelyn, so I can f.u.c.k you deep." He forced my legs apart. His hard erection throbbed at the small of my back, proving to me just how much he wanted me. "So that you can take me deep inside that sweet, tight p.u.s.s.y of yours, where it"s just us, baby." His rough voice was drenched with wicked heat, and his words were full of promise.
A tremor raked through my body and settled in the pit of my stomach.
I barely managed a slight nod in agreement as the tip of his c.o.c.k pushed through my slick folds, spreading my arousal, until he found my entrance. The heady sensation of him slowly filling me stole the air from my lungs, and I had to remind myself to keep standing.
He pressed our bodies together, cupped my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and teased my nipples by gently pulling on them with his fingers as his lips traced a path up the side of my neck. "This-right here, with you-is where I want to be," he breathed.
"Damien." The sound of his name left my lips on a hushed whisper when he gradually withdrew. My greedy inner walls bore down around him, not wanting to let him go.
He didn"t make me wait long though.
"Hold on, Raelyn." His palm clamped on my shoulder, and he slammed forward on an earth-shattering thrust.
"Ah," I moaned. All my blood rushed to my s.e.x. My body was becoming hotter and hotter with every pa.s.sing second.
"Jesus, that f.u.c.king sound you make," Damien grunted, making me hot and needy all over again. He continued to pump in and out of me with unforgiving hard thrusts, penetrating me. He was taking me, taking us, to our special place and f.u.c.king me thoroughly and deep, just as he"d said he would.
Somewhere along the way, in the back of my mind, I realized Damien had regained control of our lovemaking. I"d become lost in the midst of my undeniable need for him. My body had betrayed me, and he"d taken full advantage of the situation.
Maybe he wasn"t ready for me to touch certain areas of him, and I reminded myself to be respectful of his wishes and accept that it might take him more time.
However, I could reach between us to grasp ahold of the base of his hard c.o.c.k, so I did. The wetness of our joined arousal made me rock my hips back into him, causing my own body to dangle on the precipice of that incredible peak. I was so close, so incredibly close.
"Raelyn," he gritted out my name in warning, as if fighting for control to prolong our time together.
He roughly gripped my waist and quickened his pace, giving me exactly what my body craved. A relentless strong power was coiled within each of his drives. The rhythmic erotic slap of our connecting bodies echoed throughout the room.
He thickened in my hand, so I squeezed him harder. My hand slipped and slid up and down the base of his heavy girth as he delivered another deliberate thrust. It sent me spiraling over the edge. Silent shock waves ricocheted through me as my inner muscles convulsed around him.
Being sure to take him with me, I gently curled my palm around his b.a.l.l.s.
"f.u.c.k," Damien cursed on a groan. He fell over me and pressed his chest to my torso as he jerked and shuddered along with me, coming inside me with long hot spurts, filling me with his warmth.
I collapsed onto the bed under the weight of him. Damien rolled over to the side of me and pulled me into his arms. My nose came to the center of his sternum, and I nuzzled into him, completely sated, as we both fought to catch our breaths.
His hand stroked up and down the length of my back. It caused my eyelids to fall heavy with sleep.
I"d nearly dozed off when his movements came to an abrupt halt, and his alarmed voice cut through the air as he said, "Raelyn, I didn"t use a condom."
I kept my eyes shut, knowing this conversation was unavoidable. "I know. It"s okay," I replied softly, hoping he"d continue to rub me into a peaceful slumber.
He sucked in a harsh breath as unease rippled out of him. "Raelyn, nothing about forgetting to use protection is okay. Becoming a parent is not something that I want in my future."
I frowned into the darkness at the graveness of his tone. I believed this had nothing to do with him having a child someday in the distant future because I"d personally witnessed how kind, tender, compa.s.sionate, and concerned he had been with William. This decision had to be strictly about his past.
I knew he wouldn"t share his reasons behind his choice with me, so I felt no need to go into the painful depths of my own. Instead, I offered part of the truth when I said, "I meant, it"s okay because I"m on the pill."
"Oh." He exhaled and eventually resumed caressing my bare skin.
As I let myself drift off into sleep, I understood that Damien and I had much to learn about one another, as we both seemed to have so many secrets of our past that we weren"t ready to share.
Yet I couldn"t help but feel I was where I belonged. I could only pray that time would give us the strength we needed to open up to each other.
My eyes flickered open to the bright rays beaming into Damien"s bedroom. Wanting to avoid the harsh light just a while longer, I turned onto my side and came face-to-face with a sleeping Damien. The stunning sight was equivalent to winning the lottery in my books.
Bright light be d.a.m.ned, I planned to take full advantage of this time to peruse every inch of him. His strong cheekbones that led to his square jaw were relaxed. The hard edges of his face were soft.
My eyes drifted to his shoulders where some of his black ink peeked over the top of them. A few raised lines beneath the tattoos were visible. Not wanting to focus on those, I let my eyes trail down his left arm where I took in his sleeve. Most of it was a tribal design, but being this close, I saw scripture printed in a small cursive font.
I AM NOT MY PAST.
The idea of this strong, beautiful man struggling with his former years constricted my heart. It made me want to spread my wings around him and protect him from his sufferings.
My gaze continued to roam down the inside of his forearm. Engraved in bold black ink with dark shading all around it that faded into the rest of his tribal sleeve were Roman numerals.
I-II-I-V.
I ran my hand across the numbers on his skin while whispering to myself, "One, two, one, five."
The numbers matched the four-digit code to his garage, and I wondered what meaning they held for him to also be permanently scripted onto his flesh.
My touch made Damien stir. He rolled flat on his back, and within seconds, his breathing evened out again.
I propped myself up onto my elbow, rested my knuckles on my cheek, and made myself eye-level with his rib cage. I watched the rise and fall of his abdomen while admiring every firm muscle that led to the s.e.xy V cut of his hips before the rest of him disappeared beneath the white bedsheet.
Beyond irritated with the silky sheet for obstructing my view, I moved it out of my way to see a hard Damien.
I angled my body at a slant across the mattress, mindful not to touch him just yet. I fully intended to wake him up with my mouth.
I reached forward and let my fingertip lightly brush along the tip of his c.o.c.k, swirling a perfect circle. It twitched as I softly took him in my hand and began to stroke him.
Hot liquid desire pooled at my s.e.x when I drew him into my mouth and slid down his thick girth, alluring a satisfying moan from Damien.
"Raelyn," he drawled, rough with sleep. His hand came to my hair, and he gently rocked his hips upward, causing me to take him to the back of my throat.
I tightened my lips around him, creating a soft suction with my mouth, as I retreated to the tip. Feeling his arousal thicken only spurred me on. I wanted to drive him to the edge, as he always did with me.
I fell into a steady rhythm of sliding up and down his c.o.c.k while caressing the underside of him with my tongue.
Damien suddenly hooked his hand around my left thigh and yanked me atop him to make me straddle his stomach with my a.s.s in the air. It left me feeling extremely exposed to his eyes.
"Damien," I yelped in surprise, failing to stifle my bashfulness. I tried to pull forward.
Damien must have picked up on it because he challenged, "After all the ways I"ve taken you, you want to be modest now?" A mischievous laugh seeped out of him before his tongue swept up the center of my folds. "Too late, gorgeous girl. There will be no shyness between you and me."
He pressed two fingers into me, and I felt his breath coming and going by my s.e.x. It made my own accelerate as his tongue circled my c.l.i.t.
"I"ll take this sweet p.u.s.s.y of mine and pleasure you in any way I want, Raelyn."
As if to prove his point, his tongue replaced his fingers. My mouth fell open on a gasp, and I tightened my hold around his length while drowning in the sensations consuming me. His tongue moved in and out of me, f.u.c.king me senseless. I"d never been so aroused.