Ever obedient, the automaton shifted to take a step back when Stratton yanked out its name. The a.s.sa.s.sin began pushing against the door, but Stratton was able to insert the new name, cramming the square of paper into the slot as deeply as he could.
The porter resumed walking forward, this time with a fast, stiff gait: his childhood doll, now life-size. It immediately ran into the door and, unperturbed, kept it shut with the force of its marching, its iron hands leaving fresh dents in the door"s oaken surface with every swing of its arms, its rubber-shod feet chafing heavily against the brick floor. Stratton retreated to the back of the storeroom.
"Stop," the a.s.sa.s.sin ordered. "Stop walking, you! Stop!"
The automaton continued marching, oblivious to all commands. The man pushed on the door, but to no avail. He then tried slamming into it with his shoulder, each impact causing the automaton to slide back slightly, but its rapid strides brought it forward again before the man could squeeze inside. There was a brief pause, and then something poked through the grille in the door; the man was prying it off with a crowbar. The grille abruptly popped free, leaving an open window. The man stretched his arm through and reached around to the back of the automaton"s head, his fingers searching for the name each time its head bobbed forward, but there was nothing for them to grasp; the paper was wedged too deeply in the slot.
The arm withdrew. The a.s.sa.s.sin"s face appeared in the window. "Fancy yourself clever, don"t you?" he called out. Then he disappeared.
Stratton relaxed slightly. Had the man given up? A minute pa.s.sed, and Stratton began to think about his next move. He could wait here until the factory opened; there would be too many people about for the a.s.sa.s.sin to remain.
Suddenly the man"s arm came through the window again, this time carrying a jar of fluid. He poured it over the automaton"s head, the liquid splattering and dripping down its back. The man"s arm withdrew, and then Stratton heard the sound of a match being struck and then flaring alight. The man"s arm reappeared bearing the match, and touched it to the automaton.
The room was flooded with light as the automaton"s head and upper back burst into flames. The man had doused it with lamp oil. Stratton squinted at the spectacle: light and shadow danced across the floor and walls, transforming the storeroom into the site of some druidic ceremony. The heat caused the automaton to hasten its vague a.s.sault on the door, like a salamandrine priest dancing with increasing frenzy, until it abruptly froze: its name had caught fire, and the letters were being consumed.
The flames gradually died out, and to Stratton"s newly light-adapted eyes the room seemed almost completely black. More by sound than by sight, he realized the man was pushing at the door again, this time forcing the automaton back enough for him to gain entrance.
"Enough of that, then."
Stratton tried to run past him, but the a.s.sa.s.sin easily grabbed him and knocked him down with a clout to the head.
His senses returned almost immediately, but by then the a.s.sa.s.sin had him facedown on the floor, one knee pressed into his back. The man tore the health amulet from Stratton"s wrist and then tied his hands together behind his back, drawing the rope tightly enough that the hemp fibers sc.r.a.ped the skin of his wrists.
"What kind of man are you, to do things like this?" Stratton gasped, his cheek flattened against the brick floor.
The a.s.sa.s.sin chuckled. "Men are no different from your automata; slip a bloke a piece of paper with the proper figures on it, and he"ll do your bidding." The room grew light as the man lit an oil lamp.
"What if I paid you more to leave me alone?"
"Can"t do it. Have to think about my reputation, haven"t I? Now let"s get to business." He grasped the smallest finger of Stratton"s left hand and abruptly broke it.
The pain was shocking, so intense that for a moment Stratton was insensible to all else. He was distantly aware that he had cried out. Then he heard the man speaking again. "Answer my questions straight now. Do you keep copies of your work at home?"
"Yes." He could only get a few words out at a time. "At my desk. In the study."
"No other copies hidden anywhere? Under the floor, perhaps?"
"No."
"Your friend upstairs didn"t have copies. But perhaps someone else does?"
He couldn"t direct the man to Darrington Hall. "No one."
The man pulled the notebook out of Stratton"s coat pocket. Stratton could hear him leisurely flipping through the pages. "Didn"t post any letters? Corresponding with colleagues, that sort of thing?"
"Nothing that anyone could use to reconstruct my work."
"You"re lying to me." The man grasped Stratton"s ring finger.
"No! It"s the truth!" He couldn"t keep the hysteria from his voice.
Then Stratton heard a sharp thud, and the pressure in his back eased. Cautiously, he raised his head and looked around. His a.s.sailant lay unconscious on the floor next to him. Standing next to him was Davies, holding a leather blackjack.
Davies pocketed his weapon and crouched to unknot the rope that bound Stratton. "Are you badly hurt, sir?"
"He"s broken one of my fingers. Davies, how did you-?"
"Lord Fieldhurst sent me the moment he learned whom Willoughby had contacted."
"Thank G.o.d you arrived when you did." Stratton saw the irony of the situation- his rescue ordered by the very man he was plotting against- but he was too grateful to care.
Davies helped Stratton to his feet and handed him his notebook. Then he used the rope to tie up the a.s.sa.s.sin. "I went to your office first. Who"s the fellow there?"
"His name is- was Benjamin Roth." Stratton managed to recount his previous meeting with the kabbalist. "I don"t know what he was doing there."
"Many religious types have a bit of the fanatic in them," said Davies, checking the a.s.sa.s.sin"s bonds. "As you wouldn"t give him your work, he likely felt justified in taking it himself. He came to your office to look for it, and had the bad luck to be there when this fellow arrived."
Stratton felt a flood of remorse. "I should have given Roth what he asked."
"You couldn"t have known."
"It"s an outrageous injustice that he was the one to die. He"d nothing to do with this affair."
"It"s always that way, sir. Come on, let"s tend to that hand of yours."
Davies bandaged Stratton"s finger to a splint, a.s.suring him that the Royal Society would discreetly handle any consequences of the night"s events. They gathered the oil-stained papers from Stratton"s office into a trunk so that Stratton could sift through them at his leisure, away from the manufactory. By the time they were finished, a carriage had arrived to take Stratton back to Darrington Hall; it had set out at the same time as Davies, who had ridden into London on a racing-engine. Stratton boarded the carriage with the trunk of papers, while Davies stayed behind to deal with the a.s.sa.s.sin and make arrangements for the kabbalist"s body.
Stratton spent the carriage ride sipping from a flask of brandy, trying to steady his nerves. He felt a sense of relief when he arrived back at Darrington Hall; although it held its own variety of threats, Stratton knew he"d be safe from a.s.sa.s.sination there. By the time he reached his room, his panic had largely been converted into exhaustion, and he slept deeply.
He felt much more composed the next morning, and ready to begin sorting through his trunkful of papers. As he was arranging them into stacks approximating their original organization, Stratton found a notebook he didn"t recognize. Its pages contained Hebrew letters arranged in the familiar patterns of nominal integration and factorization, but all the notes were in Hebrew as well. With a renewed pang of guilt, he realized it must have belonged to Roth; the a.s.sa.s.sin must have found it on his person and tossed it in with Stratton"s papers to be burned.
He was about to set it aside, but his curiosity bested him: he"d never seen a kabbalist"s notebook before. Much of the terminology was archaic, but he could understand it well enough; among the incantations and sephirotic diagrams, he found the epithet enabling an automaton to write its own name. As he read, Stratton realized that Roth"s achievement was more elegant than he"d previously thought.
The epithet didn"t describe a specific set of physical actions, but instead the general notion of reflexivity. A name incorporating the epithet became an autonym: a self-designating name. The notes indicated that such a name would express its lexical nature through whatever means the body allowed. The animated body wouldn"t even need hands to write out its name; if the epithet were incorporated properly, a porcelain horse could likely accomplish the task by dragging a hoof in the dirt.
Combined with one of Stratton"s epithets for dexterity, Roth"s epithet would indeed let an automaton do most of what was needed to reproduce. An automaton could cast a body identical to its own, write out its own name, and insert it to animate the body. It couldn"t train the new one in sculpture, though, since automata couldn"t speak. An automaton that could truly reproduce itself without human a.s.sistance remained out of reach, but coming this close would undoubtedly have delighted the kabbalists.
It seemed unfair that automata were so much easier to reproduce than humans. It was as if the problem of reproducing automata need be solved only once, while that of reproducing humans was a Sisyphean task, with every additional generation increasing the complexity of the name required.
And abruptly Stratton realized that he didn"t need a name that redoubled physical complexity, but one that enabled lexical duplication.
The solution was to impress the ovum with an autonym, and thus induce a foetus that bore its own name.
The name would have two versions, as originally proposed: one used to induce male foetuses, another for female foetuses. The women conceived this way would be fertile as always. The men conceived this way would also be fertile, but not in the typical manner: their spermatozoa would not contain preformed foetuses, but would instead bear either of two names on their surfaces, the self-expression of the names originally borne by the gla.s.s needles. And when such a spermatozoon reached an ovum, the name would induce the creation of a new foetus. The species would be able to reproduce itself without medical intervention, because it would carry the name within itself.
He and Dr. Ashbourne had a.s.sumed that creating animals capable of reproducing meant giving them preformed foetuses, because that was the method employed by nature. As a result they had overlooked another possibility: that if a creature could be expressed in a name, reproducing that creature was equivalent to transcribing the name. An organism could contain, instead of a tiny a.n.a.logue of its body, a lexical representation instead.
Humanity would become a vehicle for the name as well as a product of it. Each generation would be both content and vessel, an echo in a self-sustaining reverberation.
Stratton envisioned a day when the human species could survive as long as its own behavior allowed, when it could stand or fall based purely on its own actions, and not simply vanish once some predetermined life span had elapsed. Other species might bloom and wither like flowers over seasons of geologic time, but humans would endure for as long as they determined.
Nor would any group of people control the fecundity of another; in the procreative domain, at least, liberty would be restored to the individual. This was not the application Roth had intended for his epithet, but Stratton hoped the kabbalist would consider it worthwhile. By the time the autonym"s true power became apparent, an entire generation consisting of millions of people worldwide would have been born of the name, and there would be no way any government could control their reproduction. Lord Fieldhurst- or his successors- would be outraged, and there would eventually be a price to be paid, but Stratton found he could accept that.
He hastened to his desk, where he opened his own notebook and Roth"s side by side. On a blank page, he began writing down ideas on how Roth"s epithet might be incorporated into a human euonym. Already in his mind Stratton was transposing the letters, searching for a permutation that denoted both the human body and itself, an ontogenic encoding for the species.
The Evolution of Human Science It has been twenty-five years since a report of original research was last submitted to our editors for publication, making this an appropriate time to revisit the question that was so widely debated then: What is the role of human scientists in an age when the frontiers of scientific inquiry have moved beyond the comprehension of humans?
No doubt many of our subscribers remember reading papers whose authors were the first individuals ever to obtain the results they described. But as metahumans began to dominate experimental research, they increasingly made their findings available only via DNT (digital neural transfer), leaving journals to publish secondhand accounts translated into human language. Without DNT humans could not fully grasp prior developments nor effectively utilize the new tools needed to conduct research, while metahumans continued to improve DNT and rely on it even more. Journals for human audiences were reduced to vehicles of popularization, and poor ones at that, as even the most brilliant humans found themselves puzzled by translations of the latest findings.
No one denies the many benefits of metahuman science, but one of its costs to human researchers was the realization that they would likely never make an original contribution to science again. Some left the field altogether, but those who stayed shifted their attention away from original research and toward hermeneutics: interpreting the scientific work of metahumans.
Textual hermeneutics became popular first, since there were already terabytes of metahuman publications whose translations, while cryptic, were presumably not entirely inaccurate. Deciphering these texts bears little resemblance to the task performed by traditional paleographers, but progress continues: recent experiments have validated the Humphries decipherment of decade-old publications on histocompatibility genetics.
The availability of devices based on metahuman science gave rise to artifact hermeneutics. Scientists began attempting to "reverse engineer" these artifacts, their goal being not to manufacture competing products, but simply to understand the physical principles underlying their operation. The most common technique is the crystallographic a.n.a.lysis of nanoware appliances, which frequently provides us with new insights into mechanosynthesis.
The newest and by far the most speculative mode of inquiry is remote sensing of metahuman research facilities. A recent target of investigation is the ExaCollider recently installed beneath the Gobi Desert, whose puzzling neutrino signature has been the subject of much controversy. (The portable neutrino detector is, of course, another metahuman artifact whose operating principles remain elusive.) The question is, are these worthwhile undertakings for scientists? Some call them a waste of time, likening them to a Native American research effort into bronze smelting when steel tools of European manufacture are readily available. This comparison might be more apt if humans were in compet.i.tion with metahumans, but in today"s economy of abundance there is no evidence of such compet.i.tion. In fact, it is important to recognize that- unlike most previous low-technology cultures confronted with a high-technology one- humans are in no danger of a.s.similation or extinction.
There is still no way to augment a human brain into a metahuman one; the Sugimoto gene therapy must be performed before the embryo begins neurogenesis in order for a brain to be compatible with DNT. This lack of an a.s.similation mechanism means that human parents of a metahuman child face a difficult choice: to allow their child DNT interaction with metahuman culture, and watch their child grow incomprehensible to them; or else restrict access to DNT during the child"s formative years, which to a metahuman is deprivation like that suffered by Kaspar Hauser. It is not surprising that the percentage of human parents choosing the Sugimoto gene therapy for their children has dropped almost to zero in recent years.
As a result, human culture is likely to survive well into the future, and the scientific tradition is a vital part of that culture. Hermeneutics is a legitimate method of scientific inquiry and increases the body of human knowledge just as original research did. Moreover, human researchers may discern applications overlooked by metahumans, whose advantages tend to make them unaware of our concerns. For example, imagine if research offered hope of a different intelligence-enhancing therapy, one that would allow individuals to gradually "up-grade" their minds to a metahuman-equivalent level. Such a therapy would offer a bridge across what has become the greatest cultural divide in our species" history, yet it might not even occur to metahumans to explore it; that possibility alone justifies the continuation of human research.
We need not be intimidated by the accomplishments of metahuman science. We should always remember that the technologies that made metahumans possible were originally invented by humans, and they were no smarter than we.
h.e.l.l is the Absence of G.o.d This is the story of a man named Neil Fisk, and how he came to love G.o.d. The pivotal event in Neil"s life was an occurrence both terrible and ordinary: the death of his wife Sarah. Neil was consumed with grief after she died, a grief that was excruciating not only because of its intrinsic magnitude, but because it also renewed and emphasized the previous pains of his life. Her death forced him to reexamine his relationship with G.o.d, and in doing so he began a journey that would change him forever.
Neil was born with a congenital abnormality that caused his left thigh to be externally rotated and several inches shorter than his right; the medical term for it was proximal femoral focus deficiency. Most people he met a.s.sumed G.o.d was responsible for this, but Neil"s mother hadn"t witnessed any visitations while carrying him; his condition was the result of improper limb development during the sixth week of gestation, nothing more. In fact, as far as Neil"s mother was concerned, blame rested with his absent father, whose income might have made corrective surgery a possibility, although she never expressed this sentiment aloud.
As a child Neil had occasionally wondered if he was being punished by G.o.d, but most of the time he blamed his cla.s.smates in school for his unhappiness. Their nonchalant cruelty, their instinctive ability to locate the weaknesses in a victim"s emotional armor, the way their own friendships were reinforced by their sadism: he recognized these as examples of human behavior, not divine. And although his cla.s.smates often used G.o.d"s name in their taunts, Neil knew better than to blame Him for their actions.
But while Neil avoided the pitfall of blaming G.o.d, he never made the jump to loving Him; nothing in his upbringing or his personality led him to pray to G.o.d for strength or for relief. The a.s.sorted trials he faced growing up were accidental or human in origin, and he relied on strictly human resources to counter them. He became an adult who- like so many others- viewed G.o.d"s actions in the abstract until they impinged upon his own life. Angelic visitations were events that befell other people, reaching him only via reports on the nightly news. His own life was entirely mundane; he worked as a superintendent for an upscale apartment building, collecting rent and performing repairs, and as far as he was concerned, circ.u.mstances were fully capable of unfolding, happily or not, without intervention from above.
This remained his experience until the death of his wife.
It was an unexceptional visitation, smaller in magnitude than most but no different in kind, bringing blessings to some and disaster to others. In this instance the angel was Nathanael, making an appearance in a downtown shopping district. Four miracle cures were effected: the elimination of carcinomas in two individuals, the regeneration of the spinal cord in a paraplegic, and the restoration of sight to a recently blinded person. There were also two miracles that were not cures: a delivery van, whose driver had fainted at the sight of the angel, was halted before it could overrun a busy sidewalk; another man was caught in a shaft of Heaven"s light when the angel departed, erasing his eyes but ensuring his devotion.
Neil"s wife Sarah Fisk had been one of the eight casualties. She was. .h.i.t by flying gla.s.s when the angel"s billowing curtain of flame shattered the storefront window of the cafe in which she was eating. She bled to death within minutes, and the other customers in the cafe- none of whom suffered even superficial injuries- could do nothing but listen to her cries of pain and fear, and eventually witness her soul"s ascension toward Heaven.
Nathanael hadn"t delivered any specific message; the angel"s parting words, which had boomed out across the entire visitation site, were the typical Behold the power of the Lord Behold the power of the Lord. Of the eight casualties that day, three souls were accepted into Heaven and five were not, a closer ratio than the average for deaths by all causes. Sixty-two people received medical treatment for injuries ranging from slight concussions to ruptured eardrums to burns requiring skin grafts. Total property damage was estimated at $8.1 million, all of it excluded by private insurance companies due to the cause. Scores of people became devout worshipers in the wake of the visitation, either out of grat.i.tude or terror.
Alas, Neil Fisk was not one of them.
After a visitation, it"s common for all the witnesses to meet as a group and discuss how their common experience has affected their lives. The witnesses of Nathanael"s latest visitation arranged such group meetings, and family members of those who had died were welcome, so Neil began attending. The meetings were held once a month in a bas.e.m.e.nt room of a large church downtown; there were metal folding chairs arranged in rows, and in the back of the room was a table holding coffee and doughnuts. Everyone wore adhesive name tags made out in felt-tip pen.
While waiting for the meetings to start, people would stand around, drinking coffee, talking casually. Most people Neil spoke to a.s.sumed his leg was a result of the visitation, and he had to explain that he wasn"t a witness, but rather the husband of one of the casualties. This didn"t bother him particularly; he was used to explaining about his leg. What did bother him was the tone of the meetings themselves, when partic.i.p.ants spoke about their reaction to the visitation: most of them talked about their newfound devotion to G.o.d, and they tried to persuade the bereaved that they should feel the same.
Neil"s reaction to such attempts at persuasion depended on who was making it. When it was an ordinary witness, he found it merely irritating. When someone who"d received a miracle cure told him to love G.o.d, he had to restrain an impulse to strangle the person. But what he found most disquieting of all was hearing the same suggestion from a man named Tony Crane; Tony"s wife had died in the visitation too, and he now projected an air of groveling with his every movement. In hushed, tearful tones he explained how he had accepted his role as one of G.o.d"s subjects, and he advised Neil to do likewise.
Neil didn"t stop attending the meetings- he felt that he somehow owed it to Sarah to stick with them- but he found another group to go to as well, one more compatible with his own feelings: a support group devoted to those who"d lost a loved one during a visitation, and were angry at G.o.d because of it. They met every other week in a room at the local community center, and talked about the grief and rage that boiled inside of them.
All the attendees were generally sympathetic to one another, despite differences in their various att.i.tudes toward G.o.d. Of those who"d been devout before their loss, some struggled with the task of remaining so, while others gave up their devotion without a second glance. Of those who"d never been devout, some felt their position had been validated, while others were faced with the near impossible task of becoming devout now. Neil found himself, to his consternation, in this last category.
Like every other nondevout person, Neil had never expended much energy on where his soul would end up; he"d always a.s.sumed his destination was h.e.l.l, and he accepted that. That was the way of things, and h.e.l.l, after all, was not physically worse than the mortal plane.
It meant permanent exile from G.o.d, no more and no less; the truth of this was plain for anyone to see on those occasions when h.e.l.l manifested itself. These happened on a regular basis; the ground seemed to become transparent, and you could see h.e.l.l as if you were looking through a hole in the floor. The lost souls looked no different than the living, their eternal bodies resembling mortal ones. You couldn"t communicate with them- their exile from G.o.d meant that they couldn"t apprehend the mortal plane where His actions were still felt- but as long as the manifestation lasted you could hear them talk, laugh, or cry, just as they had when they were alive.
People varied widely in their reactions to these manifestations. Most devout people were galvanized, not by the sight of anything frightening, but at being reminded that eternity outside paradise was a possibility. Neil, by contrast, was one of those who were unmoved; as far as he could tell, the lost souls as a group were no unhappier than he was, their existence no worse than his in the mortal plane, and in some ways better: his eternal body would be unhampered by congenital abnormalities.
Of course, everyone knew that Heaven was incomparably superior, but to Neil it had always seemed too remote to consider, like wealth or fame or glamour. For people like him, h.e.l.l was where you went when you died, and he saw no point in restructuring his life in hopes of avoiding that. And since G.o.d hadn"t previously played a role in Neil"s life, he wasn"t afraid of being exiled from G.o.d. The prospect of living without interference, living in a world where windfalls and misfortunes were never by design, held no terror for him.
Now that Sarah was in Heaven, his situation had changed. Neil wanted more than anything to be reunited with her, and the only way to get to Heaven was to love G.o.d with all his heart.
This is Neil"s story, but telling it properly requires telling the stories of two other individuals whose paths became entwined with his. The first of these is Janice Reilly.
What people a.s.sumed about Neil had in fact happened to Janice. When Janice"s mother was eight months pregnant with her, she lost control of the car she was driving and collided with a telephone pole during a sudden hailstorm, fists of ice dropping out of a clear blue sky and littering the road like a spill of giant ball bearings. She was sitting in her car, shaken but unhurt, when she saw a knot of silver flames- later identified as the angel Bardiel- float across the sky. The sight petrified her, but not so much that she didn"t notice the peculiar settling sensation in her womb. A subsequent ultrasound revealed that the unborn Janice Reilly no longer had legs; flipperlike feet grew directly from her hip sockets.
Janice"s life might have gone the way of Neil"s, if not for what happened two days after the ultrasound. Janice"s parents were sitting at their kitchen table, crying and asking what they had done to deserve this, when they received a vision: the saved souls of four deceased relatives appeared before them, suffusing the kitchen with a golden glow. The saved never spoke, but their beatific smiles induced a feeling of serenity in whoever saw them. From that moment on, the Reillys were certain that their daughter"s condition was not a punishment.
As a result, Janice grew up thinking of her legless condition as a gift; her parents explained that G.o.d had given her a special a.s.signment because He considered her equal to the task, and she vowed that she would not let Him down. Without pride or defiance, she saw it as her responsibility to show others that her condition did not indicate weakness, but rather strength.
As a child, she was fully accepted by her schoolmates; when you"re as pretty, confident, and charismatic as she was, children don"t even notice that you"re in a wheelchair. It was when she was a teenager that she realized that the able-bodied people in her school were not the ones who most needed convincing. It was more important for her to set an example for other handicapped individuals, whether they had been touched by G.o.d or not, no matter where they lived. Janice began speaking before audiences, telling those with disabilities that they had the strength G.o.d required of them.
Over time she developed a reputation, and a following. She made a living writing and speaking, and established a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting her message. People sent her letters thanking her for changing their lives, and receiving those gave her a sense of fulfillment of a sort that Neil had never experienced.
This was Janice"s life up until she herself witnessed a visitation by the angel Rashiel. She was letting herself into her house when the tremors began; at first she thought they were of natural origin, although she didn"t live in a geologically active area, and waited in the doorway for them to subside. Several seconds later she caught a glimpse of silver in the sky and realized it was an angel, just before she lost consciousness.
Janice awoke to the biggest surprise of her life: the sight of her two new legs, long, muscular, and fully functional.
She was startled the first time she stood up: she was taller than she expected. Balancing at such a height without the use of her arms was unnerving, and simultaneously feeling the texture of the ground through the soles of her feet made it positively bizarre. Rescue workers, finding her wandering down the street dazedly, thought she was in shock until she- marveling at her ability to face them at eye level- explained to them what had happened.
When statistics were gathered for the visitation, the restoration of Janice"s legs was recorded as a blessing, and she was humbly grateful for her good fortune. It was at the first of the support group meetings that a feeling of guilt began to creep in. There Janice met two individuals with cancer who"d witnessed Rashiel"s visitation, thought their cure was at hand, and been bitterly disappointed when they realized they"d been pa.s.sed over. Janice found herself wondering, why had she received a blessing when they had not?
Janice"s family and friends considered the restoration of her legs a reward for excelling at the task G.o.d had set for her, but for Janice, this interpretation raised another question. Did He intend for her to stop? Surely not; evangelism provided the central direction of her life, and there was no limit to the number of people who needed to hear her message. Her continuing to preach was the best action she could take, both for herself and for others.
Her reservations grew during her first speaking engagement after the visitation, before an audience of people recently paralyzed and now wheelchair-bound. Janice delivered her usual words of inspiration, a.s.suring them that they had the strength needed for the challenges ahead; it was during the Q&A that she was asked if the restoration of her legs meant she had pa.s.sed her test. Janice didn"t know what to say; she could hardly promise them that one day their marks would be erased. In fact, she realized, any implication that she"d been rewarded could be interpreted as criticism of others who remained afflicted, and she didn"t want that. All she could tell them was that she didn"t know why she"d been cured, but it was obvious they found that an unsatisfying answer.
Janice returned home disquieted. She still believed in her message, but as far as her audiences were concerned, she"d lost her greatest source of credibility. How could she inspire others who were touched by G.o.d to see their condition as a badge of strength, when she no longer shared their condition?
She considered whether this might be a challenge, a test of her ability to spread His word. Clearly G.o.d had made her task more difficult than it was before; perhaps the restoration of her legs was an obstacle for her to overcome, just as their earlier removal had been.