"No, no," he says. "No no no. Not even friend. Friend of friend-all fight for G.o.d against America."
The younger operative, not much older than Ahmad, hears the word "America" and utters a heated long Arabic sentence that Ahmad does not understand. Ahmad asks Charlie, "What did he say?"
Charlie shrugs. "The usual."
"You sure this will work?"
"It"ll do a ton of damage, minimum. It"ll deliver a statement. It"ll make headlines all over the world. They"ll be dancing in the streets of Damascus and Karachi, because of you, Madman."
The older unidentified man adds, "Cairo, too." He smiles that engaging smile of square, s.p.a.ced, tobacco-stained teeth and strikes his chest with his fist and tells Ahmad, "Egyptian."
"So was my father!" Ahmad exclaims, yet in exploration of the bond can only think to ask, "How do you like Mubarak?"
The smile fades. "Tool of America."
Charlie, as if joining in a game, asks, "The Saudi princes?"
"Tools."
"How about Muammar al-Qadaffi?"
"Now, too. Tool. Very sad."
Ahmad resents Charlie intruding in the conversation between what are, after all, the key players, the technician and the martyr; it is as if, his martyrdom a.s.sured, he can be brushed aside. A tool. He a.s.serts himself, asking, "Osama bin Laden?"
"Great hero," the man with oil-blackened fingers answers. "Cannot be caught. Like Arafat. A fox." He smiles, but has not forgotten the point of this meeting. He says to Ahmad in his most careful English, "Show me what you will do."
The boy is beset by a freezing sensation, as if reality has shed a layer of its bulky disguise. He overcomes his distaste for the ugly plain truck, dispensable like him. He reaches toward the detonator, his face stretched into a question.
The stocky technician smiles and rea.s.sures him, "Is O.K. Not connected. Show me."
The small yellow lever, L-shaped in cross-section, touches his hand, it seems, rather than his hand touching it. "I turn this switch to the right"-it stiffly resists, and then sucks, as if magnetized, into its off position, ninety degrees away- "and push this b.u.t.ton down in here down." Involuntarily he closes his eyes, feeling it sink half an inch.
"And hold down," his teacher repeats, "until-"
"Boom," Ahmad supplies.
"Yes," the man agrees; the word hangs in the air like a mist.
"You are very brave," the younger, taller, and thinner of the two strangers says, in an English virtually accent-free.
"He is a faithful son of Islam," Charlie tells him. "We all envy him, right?" Again Ahmad feels irritation with Charlie, for acting proprietorial where he has no ownership. Only the doer owns this deed. Something preoccupied and bossy in Charlie"s approach casts doubt on the absolute nature of istishhdd istishhdd and the exalted, dread-filled condition of the and the exalted, dread-filled condition of the istishhddi. istishhddi.
Perhaps the technician feels this slight failure of accord among the warriors, for he rests a paternal hand on Ahmad"s shoulder, soiling the boy"s white shirt with oily fingerprints, and explains to the others, "His way is good. To be hero for Allah."
Back in the cheerfully orange truck, Charlie confides to Ahmad, "Interesting to see their minds work. Tools, hero: no shades in between. As if Mubarak and Arafat and the Saudis don"t all have tlieir special situations and their own intricate games to play."
Again, Charlie strikes a note that feels, to Ahmad in his newly elevated and simplified sense of himself, slightly false. Relativism seems cynical. "Perhaps," he offers in polite con- tradiction, "G.o.d Himself is simple, and employs simple men to shape the world."
"Tools," Charlie says, staring humorlessly ahead through the windshield, which Ahmad wipes every morning but which becomes dirty anyway by the end of the day. "We"re all tools. G.o.d bless brainless tools-right, Madman?"
A certain simplicity does lay hold of Ahmad in the troughs between surges of terror and then of exaltation, collapsing back into an impatience to be done with it. To have it behind him, whatever "him" will then be. He exists as a close neighbor to the unimaginable. The world in its sunstruck details, the minute scintillations of its interlocked workings, yawns all about him, a glistening bowl of busy emptiness, while within him a sodden black certainty weighs. He cannot forget the transformation awaiting him, behind, as it were, the snapped camera"s shutter, even as his senses still receive their familiar bombardment of sights and sounds, scents and tastes. The l.u.s.ter of Paradise leaks backward into his daily life. Things will feel big there, on a cosmic scale; in his childhood, only a few years into this life, falling asleep, he would experience a sensation of hugeness, every cell a world, and this demonstrated to his childish mind religion"s truth.
His workload at Excellency has lightened, and he is left with stretches of idleness in which he should read the Qur"an, or study the pamphlets, readily available from overseas sources, composed and printed to prepare a shahid shahid--the ablutions, the mental cleansing of the spirit-for his end, or her end, for women now, their loose black burqas well concealing their explosive vests, are permitted, in Palestine, the privilege of martyrdom. But his mind is too a-flutter to sink into study. His whole existence has become enraptured as perhaps the Prophet"s was in accepting Gabriel"s dictation of the divine suras. Ahmad"s every minute has taken on the intimate doubleness of prayer, the self-release of turning aside and addressing a self not his own but that of Another, a Being as close as the vein of his neck. More than five times a day he finds the opportunity, most often in the store"s barren parking lot, to spread his mat in the eastward direction and touch his forehead to the earth, each time receiving, through the concrete, the close comfort of submission. The slaglike dark weight nagging within him skews his view of die world, and bedecks each twig and telephone wire with jewels he has never before noticed.
Sat.u.r.day morning, before the store has opened, he sits on a step of die loading platform, observing a black beetle struggling on his back on the concrete of the parking lot. The day is September eleventh, still summer. The early sun slants off the rough, pale surface with a mildness that holds in it the heat of the coming day as a seed not yet germinated holds in it die eventual blossom. The concrete in its cracks has permitted weeds to flourish, the tall weeds of the dying season, with their milky spittle and fine-haired leaves, wet with autumn"s heavy dew. The sky above is cloudless, but for some dry shreds of cirrus and a disintegrating jet trail. Its pure blue is still somehow soft, powder-blue, from its recent immersion in darkness and stars. The beetle"s tiny black legs wave in the air, groping for a purchase with which to right itself, casting sharp shadows elongated by the sun at its morning slant. The legs of the small creature wiggle and wridie in a kind of fury, then subside into a semblance of thought, as if the beetle seeks to reason a way out of its predicament. Ahmad wonders, Where did this bug come Where did this bug come from? How did it fall here, seeming unable to use its wings? The struggle resumes. How precise the shadows of its legs are, cast widi an all-loving fidelity by photons that have traveled ninety-three million miles to this exact spot! How did it fall here, seeming unable to use its wings? The struggle resumes. How precise the shadows of its legs are, cast widi an all-loving fidelity by photons that have traveled ninety-three million miles to this exact spot!
Ahmad rises from his seat on the coa.r.s.e plank step and stands over die insect in lordly fashion, feeling huge. Yet he shies from touching this mysterious fallen bit of life. Perhaps it has a poisonous bite, or, like some miniature emissary from h.e.l.l, it will fasten onto his finger and never let go. Many a boy-Tylenol, for one-would simply crush this irritating presence with his foot, but for Ahmad die option does not exist: it would produce a broadened corpse, a squashed tangle of tiny parts and spilled vital fluid, and he does not wish to contemplate any such organic horror. He looks around him briefly for a tool, for something stiff with which to flip the insect over-the dark little cardboard, for instance, used to give die two parts of a Mounds bar integrity, or to reinforce a double Reese"s Peanut b.u.t.ter Cup-but he sees nothing suitable. Excellency Home Furnishings tries to keep its private lot litter-free. The African-American "muscle" and Ahmad himself have been sent out into it with a green garbage bag, on clean-up duty. He spots no happenstance spatula lying loose but, on a sudden inspiration, remembers the driver"s license in his wallet, a plastic rectangle in which a scowling and unflattering image of himself is embedded with some numerical data important to the state of New Jersey and a hologrammatical, counterfeit-repellent image of its Great Seal. With this, he manages, after a few tentative, squeamish attempts, to flip the tiny creature at his mercy over onto its legs. Sunlight strikes sparks of iridescence, purple and green, from the biform sh.e.l.l of folded wings. Ahmad goes back to his porch on the step to enjoy the good results of his rescue, his merciful intervention in the natural order. Fly away, fly away.
But the bug, right side up, its shiny body minutely hoisted on its six legs above the rough concrete, merely creeps a fraction of its length and then remains still. Its antennae searchingly wave, then they too stop. For five minutes that partake of the eternal, Ahmad watches. He returns his license with its burden of coded information to his wallet. Cars blaring rap music rush by out of sight on Reagan Boulevard, the noise swelling and receding. An airplane gaining alt.i.tude out of Newark rattles in the hardening sky. The beetle, paired with its microscopically shrinking shadow, remains still.
It had been on its back in its death throes and now is dead, leaving behind a largeness that belongs not to this world. The experience, so strangely magnified, has been, Ahmad feels certain, supernatural.
V.
rHE SECRETARY is in a bad mood that makes his loyal undersecretary cringe. His moods sweep through Hermione like a power boat"s backwash through a hovering jellyfish. For one thing, he, she knows, hates hates being pulled back to his office on a Sunday; it disrupts his cherished afternoons of leisure with Mrs. Haffenreffer and tlieir family, whether spent at a late-season Orioles game up in Baltimore or on a stroll through Rock Creek Park, with all those children suited up for a run except for the fifth, the youngest, who at age three still gets to ride in the jogging stroller. Miss Fogel cannot be jealous of his wife and family; she almost never sees them and they are an invisible part of him, like the parts properly concealed inside his blue suit and boxer shorts. But in her mind she sometimes accompanies him, imagining a more relaxed, husbandly presence than the tense battler against shadows who shows up in his cramped corner office. Hermione intuits that, now that summer"s swampy heat at last has lifted and the b.u.t.tonwoods and being pulled back to his office on a Sunday; it disrupts his cherished afternoons of leisure with Mrs. Haffenreffer and tlieir family, whether spent at a late-season Orioles game up in Baltimore or on a stroll through Rock Creek Park, with all those children suited up for a run except for the fifth, the youngest, who at age three still gets to ride in the jogging stroller. Miss Fogel cannot be jealous of his wife and family; she almost never sees them and they are an invisible part of him, like the parts properly concealed inside his blue suit and boxer shorts. But in her mind she sometimes accompanies him, imagining a more relaxed, husbandly presence than the tense battler against shadows who shows up in his cramped corner office. Hermione intuits that, now that summer"s swampy heat at last has lifted and the b.u.t.tonwoods and plane trees around the Mall are tinged in their broad leaves by a dignified dullness, the Secretary yearns to be out of doors. She can tell from the tension bulging out the back of his very dark suit coat. Men in American jobs used to wear blue or brown suits-Daddy would leave the house on Pleasant Street to take the trolley in the same brown pinstripe, with a vest, for a week at a time-but now the only serious color is black, or navy blue close to black, in mourning for the bygone days of cheap freedom.
He has been wrought up, lately, by the common and yet well-publicized lapses in airport security. It seems that every sleazy reporter and headline-grabbing House Democrat who wants to can triumphantly brandish knives, blackjacks, and loaded revolvers which have successfully ridden through the X-ray scanners of carry-on luggage. The two of them, Secretary and undersecretary, have stood shoulder to shoulder with the security details, being slowly hypnotized by the endless procession of ghostly suitcase interiors irradiated in unreal colors-cyanic greens, fleshy peach tones, sunset magentas, and the telltale midnight blue of metal. Automobile and house keys fanned like card hands, with their rings and little chains and souvenir gizmos; the unblinking blank stare of wire-frame reading gla.s.ses in cloth cases; zippers like the skeletons of miniature snakes; bubble-cl.u.s.ters of coins left bunched in pants pockets; constellations of gold and silver jewelry; the airy chains of eyelets in sneakers and shoes; the tiny metal k.n.o.bs and cogs in travelling alarm clocks; hair dryers, electric razors, Walkmans, miniaturized cameras: all contribute their deep-blue diatoms to the pale swim of tweaked cathode rays. Small wonder that dangerous weapons again and again waft past eyes glazed by eight hours of deciphering two-dimensional images of packed accou- trements, searching for the tumor of malice, the abrupt silhouette of deadly intent, within an oceanic stream of the everyday blandness of American lives boiled down to their basic nuggets-the equipment necessary for a few days" stay in another city or state in the materialist comfort that is our globally abnormal norm. A pair of nail scissors or knitting needles-while these are being spotted and confiscated, four-inch knives pa.s.s as shoe shanks seen on edge, and a pet.i.te pistol of mostly hard plastic sneaks through taped into a pewter porringer supposedly being transported, if its dark orb is challenged, as a present for a baby being baptized tomorrow in Des Moines. The inspection always ends, has to end, with the Secretary clapping the underpaid watchdogs on their uniformed shoulders and telling them to carry on; they are defending democracy.
He turns in his black suit from the radiant window looking over the Ellipse and the Mall, trampled meadows where those sheep the citizenry graze in their jogging suits and polychrome shorts and running shoes configured like s.p.a.ce ships in "thirties comic books. "I"m wondering," he confides to Hermione, "if we should put the Mid-Atlantic region back on the orange level of alert."
"Sir, begging your pardon," she says, "but I talk with my sister in New Jersey, and I"m not sure the people know what to do different as the levels go up."
The Secretary chews this over a moment, with his powerful, rueful ma.s.seters, then a.s.serts, "No, but the authorities do. They up their own levels; they have a whole menu of emergency measures in front of them." Yet even as he utters this rea.s.surance he feels irritation-she can tell by the way his fine eyes narrow under their thoroughly masculine but beautifully formed brunette brows-at the gaps that exist between his single isolated will and the myriad a.s.sorted officers, efficient and indifferent, corrupt and sterling, who, like frayed neuron-endings, make contact or not with the vast, sluggish, carefree populace.
Helplessly Hermione offers, "But I think people do do like the sensation that steps are being taken, by a whole government department devoted to their homeland security." like the sensation that steps are being taken, by a whole government department devoted to their homeland security."
"My trouble is," the Secretary blurts, helpless in turn, "I love this d.a.m.n country so much I can"t imagine why anybody would want to bring it down. What do tbese people have to offer instead? More Taliban-more oppression of women, more blowing up statues of Buddha. The mullahs in northern Nigeria are telling people not to let their children be given polio vaccine, and then the kids are brought in paralyzed to the health-aid clinic! They wait until they"re totally paralyzed to bring them in, after they"ve gone all the way with the local mumbo-jumbo."
"They fear losing something, something precious to them," Hermione says, trembling on the edge of a new degree (the degrees are subtle, and are negotiated within the strict proprieties of a thoroughly Republican and Christian administration) of intimacy. "So precious they will sacrifice their own children to it. It happens in this country, too. The marginal sects, where some charismatic leader seals them off from common sense. The children die, and then the parents cry in court and are acquitted-they"re children themselves. It"s frightening, the power of abuse adults have over their children. It makes me glad, frankly, I never had any."
Is this a plea? A complaint that, standing together tbough they are on the lip of a splendid Sunday in the capital of the greatest nation on Earth, she is a spinster and he a married man bound by the vows of his religion to be as one, spiritu- ally and legally, with the mother of his own children? They should be her her children. In the workings of the national government, spending twelve, fourteen hours a day in the same room or adjacent rooms, they are just as much one as if legally married. His wife hardly knows him, compared with Hermione. This thought gives her so much satisfaction that she must quickly erase an inadvertent smile from her face. children. In the workings of the national government, spending twelve, fourteen hours a day in the same room or adjacent rooms, they are just as much one as if legally married. His wife hardly knows him, compared with Hermione. This thought gives her so much satisfaction that she must quickly erase an inadvertent smile from her face.
"d.a.m.n!" he explodes, his mind having been moving on its own track and coming up against the sore matter that has brought him back to his office on this day supposedly of rest. "I hate hate losing an a.s.set. We got so few in the Muslim community, that"s one of our weaknesses, that"s how they caught us with our pants down. We don"t have enough Arabic speakers, and half of those we do have don"t think like we do. There"s something weird about the language-it makes them feeble-minded, somehow. Their Internet chatter- losing an a.s.set. We got so few in the Muslim community, that"s one of our weaknesses, that"s how they caught us with our pants down. We don"t have enough Arabic speakers, and half of those we do have don"t think like we do. There"s something weird about the language-it makes them feeble-minded, somehow. Their Internet chatter- Heaven will split asunder beneath the Western river. The light shall be admitted. Heaven will split asunder beneath the Western river. The light shall be admitted. What the f.u.c.k kind of sense does that make? Pardon my French, Hermione." What the f.u.c.k kind of sense does that make? Pardon my French, Hermione."
She murmurs forgivingly, marking the new level of intimacy.
He goes on, "Our problem is, the a.s.set was holding out on us, keeping too many cards in his own hands. He wasn"t following procedure. He had some vision of a great revelation and round-up, like in the movies, starring guess who? Him. We know about the money conduit in Florida, but the bagman has vanished. He and his brother own a cut-rate furniture store up in northern New Jersey, but n.o.body answers any phones or comes to the door. We know something about a truck, but don"t know where it is or who"s doing the driving. The explosives team, we got two out of the four, but they aren"t talking, or else the translator isn"t telling us what they"re saying. They all cover for each other, even the ones on our payroll, you can"t trust your own recruits any more. It"s an unholy mess, and wouldn"t you know the body turns up on a Sunday morning!"
In their native Pennsylvania, she knows, people could be trusted. A dollar is still a dollar there, a meal a meal, a deal a deal. Rocky looks like a boxer should, and dishonest men smoke cigars, wear checked suits, and wink a lot. She and the Secretary have wandered far from that elemental land of genial sincerity, of row houses numbered with stained gla.s.s in unchanging fanlights, of miners" sons who become star quarterbacks, of pork sausage sizzling in its own fat and sc.r.a.pple drenched in maple syrup-foods that make no pretense of not being loaded with lethal cholesterol. She longs to comfort the Secretary, to press her lean body like a poultice upon his ache of overwhelming responsibility; she wants to take his meaty weight, which strains against his de rigueur de rigueur black suit, upon her bony frame, and cradle him on her pelvis. Instead, she asks, "Where is the store?" black suit, upon her bony frame, and cradle him on her pelvis. Instead, she asks, "Where is the store?"
"A city called New Prospect. n.o.body ever goes there."
"My sister lives there."
"Yeah? She should get out. It"s full of Arabs-Arab-Americans, so-called. The old mills brought them in and then slowly folded. The way things are going, there won"t be a thing America makes. Except movies, which are getting c.r.a.ppier every year. My wife and I-you"ve met Grace, haven"t you?-used to love them, we used to go all the time, before the kids came and we had to get sitters. Judy Garland, Kirk Douglas-they gave good honest value, every performance, one hundred ten percent. Now all you hear about these kid movie actors-the women don"t like being called actresses any more, everybody"s an actor actor-is drunk driving and who"s pregnant out of wedlock. They make these poor black teen-age girls think it"s just the thing, to bring a baby into the world without any father. Except Uncle Sam. He gets the bills, and no thanks from them: welfare"s their right. If there"s anything wrong with this country-and I"m not saying there is, compared to any other, France and Norway included-is we have too many rights and not enough duties. Well, when the Arab League takes over the country, people"ll learn what duties are."
"Exactly so, sir." The "sir" is meant to recall him to himself, his own duties in the present emergency.
He hears her. He turns back to moody contemplation of the capital"s Sunday calm, with its distant prospect of the Tidal Basin and the smooth white k.n.o.b, like an observatory with no opening for the telescope, of the Jefferson Memorial. People blame Jefferson now for holding on to his slaves and fathering children by one of them, but they forget the economic context of the times and the fact that Sally Hem-mings was very pale. It"s a heartless city, It"s a heartless city, the Secretary thinks, a tangle of slippery power, a scattering of great white buildings like the field of icebergs that sank the the Secretary thinks, a tangle of slippery power, a scattering of great white buildings like the field of icebergs that sank the t.i.tanic. t.i.tanic. He turns and tells his undersecretary, "If this thing in New Jersey blows up, there"ll be no sitting on fat-cat boards for me. No speaker"s fees. No million-dollar advance on my memoirs." It was the sort of confession a man should make only to his wife. He turns and tells his undersecretary, "If this thing in New Jersey blows up, there"ll be no sitting on fat-cat boards for me. No speaker"s fees. No million-dollar advance on my memoirs." It was the sort of confession a man should make only to his wife.
Hermione is shocked. He has come closer to her but has fallen in her estimation. She tells him a shade tartly, trying to recall this beautiful, selfless public servant to himself, "Mr. Secretary, no man can serve two masters. Mammon is one; it would be presumptuous of me to name the other."
The Secretary takes this in, blinks his surprisingly light blue eyes, and swears, "Thank G.o.d for you, Hermione. Of course. Forget Mammon." He settles at his exiguous desk and vehemently punches beeping triplets of code numbers into the electric console, and leans back in his ergonomically correct chair to bark into the speaker-phone.
Hermione doesn"t usually phone on a Sunday. She prefers weekdays, when she knows Jack isn"t likely to be there. She has never had much to say to Jack, which used to slightly hurt Beth"s feelings; it was as if Herm were carrying on their parents" ridiculous Lutheran anti-Semitic prejudices. Also, Beth has deduced, on a weekday her "big" sister has the excuse of her red light blinking on her other phone when she thinks Beth is rambling on too long. But today she calls while church bells are ringing, and Beth is glad to hear her voice. She wants to share her good news. "Herm, I"ve gone on this diet and in just five days I"ve lost twelve pounds!"
"The first pounds are the easiest," Hermione says, always putting down anything Beth does or says. "At this point you"re just losing water, which will come right back. The real test comes when you can see the difference and decide to pig out to celebrate. Is this the Atkins diet, by the way? They say it"s dangerous. He was about to be sued by a thousand people, that"s why his sudden death seemed so fishy."
"It"s just the carrot-and-celery diet," Beth tells her. "Whenever I have the urge to nibble, I go for one of these baby carrots they sell everywhere now. Remember how carrots used to come into Philly from the Delaware truck farms, in a tied bunch with the dirt and sand still on them? Oh, how I used to hate that feeling of biting down on grains of sand- it sounded so loud in your head! No danger of that with these baby ones; they must come out of California and are all peeled down to exactly the same size. The only trouble is, if they sit too long in the sealed pack they come out slimy. The trouble with celery celery is, after a couple of stalks this ball of string collects in your mouth. But I"m determined to stick with it. It"s easier to nibble cookies, G.o.d knows, but every bite adds on calories. A hundred thirty each, I was shocked to read on the package! The print is so fine, it"s diabolical!" is, after a couple of stalks this ball of string collects in your mouth. But I"m determined to stick with it. It"s easier to nibble cookies, G.o.d knows, but every bite adds on calories. A hundred thirty each, I was shocked to read on the package! The print is so fine, it"s diabolical!"
That Hermione hasn"t yet cut her short seems odd; Beth knows she"s boring on the subject of doing without food, but it"s all she can think about, and talking about it out loud holds her to it, keeps her from backsliding, despite her faint spells and stomach cramps. Her stomach doesn"t understand what she"s doing to it, why it"s being punished, not knowing it"s been her worst enemy for years, lying there under her heart crying out to be filled. Carmela won"t lie on her lap any more, she"s become so jumpy and irritable.
"What does Jack make of all this?" Hermione asks. Her voice sounds level and grave, a little halting and solemn, weighing her words. This prospect of a new, slim, presentable sister is something they both could be giggling about, the way they used to when sharing their room in tbe Pleasant Street house, sharing die sheer joy of being alive. As she got more serious and studious, Hermione stopped knowing how to giggle; she found it hard to lighten up. Beth wonders if that is the reason she never found a husband- Herm didn"t know how to make men forget their troubles. She lacked ballon, ballon, as Miss Dimitrova had said. as Miss Dimitrova had said.
Beth lowers her voice. Jack is in the bedroom reading and he may have read himself to sleep. Central High has started up again, and he has volunteered to teach a course on civics, saying he needs more exposure to these kids he is supposed to counsel. He claims they are getting away from him. He claims he is too old, but that"s his depression talking. "He doesn"t say much," she tells Hermione in answer to her question. "I think he"s afraid to jinx it. But he has has to be pleased; I"m doing it for to be pleased; I"m doing it for him." him."
Herm asks, shooting her down again, "Is that ever a good idea, to do something because you think your husband wants it? I"m just asking-I"ve never been married."
Poor Herm, this has to be on her mind all the time. "Well, you"re"-Beth stops her tongue; she had been about to say that Hermione was as good as married, to that bull-headed linebacker of a boss of hers-"as wise as anybody else, any other woman. I"m doing it for myself, too. I feel so much better, with just the twelve pounds off. The girls at the library can see the difference-they"re very supportive, though at their age I couldn"t imagine my figure ever getting out of hand. I said I"d like to help with the shelving instead of just sitting on my fat a.s.s behind the desk Googling for kids too lazy to learn to Google for themselves."
"How does Jack like the change in his diet?"
"Well, I"ve tried not to change his, still giving him meat and potatoes. But he says he"d just as soon have simple salads with me. The older he gets, he says, the more eating anything disgusts him."
"That"s the Jew in him," Hermione cuts in.
"Oh, I don"t think so," Beth says, haughtily.
Hermione is then so silent Beth wonders if the connection has been broken off. Terrorists are blowing up oil pipes and power plants in Iraq, nothing is utterly secure any more. "How"s the weather down there?" Beth asks.
"Still hot, once you leave the building. September in the District can be still muggy. The trees don"t turn with all that color we used to get in the Arboretum. Spring is the season here, with the cherry blossoms."
"Today," Betfr says, as her starved stomach gives a pang that makes her grip the back of the kitchen chair for support, "I felt fall in the air. The sky is so absolutely clear, like"-like the day of Nine-Eleven, she started to say, but stopped, thinking it might be tactless to mention that to an undersecretary of Homeland Security, the fabled blue sky that has become mythic, a Heavenly irony, part of American legend like the rockets" red glare. she started to say, but stopped, thinking it might be tactless to mention that to an undersecretary of Homeland Security, the fabled blue sky that has become mythic, a Heavenly irony, part of American legend like the rockets" red glare.
They must be thinking the same thoughts, for Hermione asks, "Do you remember you mentioned this young Arab-American Jack had taken such an interest in, who instead of taking Jack"s advice to go to college had gotten a license to drive a truck because the imam at his mosque had asked him to?"
"Vaguely. Jack hasn"t mentioned him for a while."
"Is Jack there?" she asks. "Could I talk to him?"
"To Jack?" She has never wanted to talk to Jack before.
"Yes, to your husband. Please, Betty. It may be important."
Betty, yet. "Like I was saying, he may be having a nap. We went out walking earlier, to give me exercise. The exercise is just as important as the dieting. It reshapes the body."
"Could you please go see?"
"If he"s awake? Maybe it"s something I could pa.s.s on to him, if he is. Having a nap."
"I don"t think so. I"d rather talk to him myself. You and I can have our chat this week, when you"re watching your serials."
"I"ve given them up, too-I a.s.sociate them too much with nibbling. And they were getting scrambled up in my mind, all these characters. I"ll go see if he"s awake." She is mystified and cowed.
"Betty, even if he"s not-could you wake him up?"
"I"d hate to do that. He sleeps so poorly at night." "I need to ask him some things right now, now, honey. They can"t wait. I"m sorry. Just this once." Ever the older sister, knowing more than she does, telling her what to do. Reading her mind again, over the telephone, Hermione fondly admonishes Beth, in a voice that sounds like their mother"s, "Now, no matter what happens, don"t you fall off your diet." honey. They can"t wait. I"m sorry. Just this once." Ever the older sister, knowing more than she does, telling her what to do. Reading her mind again, over the telephone, Hermione fondly admonishes Beth, in a voice that sounds like their mother"s, "Now, no matter what happens, don"t you fall off your diet."
On Sunday night, Ahmad fears he will not be able to sleep, on what is to be the last night of his life. The room around him is unfamiliar. It is one, Shaikh Rashid a.s.sured him, standing with him in the room earlier that evening, where no one can find him.
"Who would be looking for me?" Ahmad asked. His small, slight mentor-it was strange for Ahmad, as the two of them stood close together in collusion, to feel how much taller he had become than his master, who during Qur"an lessons augmented his height with that of the high-backed chair with the silver threads-gave one of his quick, knifing shrugs. The man this evening wore not his usual shimmering embroidered caftan but a gray Western-style suit, as if dressed for a business trip among the infidels. How else explain his shaving off his beard, the precisely trimmed gray-flecked beard? It had concealed, Ahmad saw, a number of small scars, traces on his waxy white skin of some disease, eradicated in the West, contracted by a child in Yemen. With thiese roughnesses was revealed something disagreeable about his violet lips, a sulky masculine set to them that had lurked unemphasized when they moved so rapidly, so seductively, in a recess of facial hair. The shaikh was not wearing his turban or his lacy white amdma; amdma; a receding hairline was bared. a receding hairline was bared.
Shrunken in Ahmad"s eyes, he asked, "Your mother will not miss you and activate the police?"
"She has night duty this weekend. I left a note for her to see when she comes in, saying I am spending the night with a friend. She may suppose it is a girlfriend. She nags me on the subject, suggesting I should have one."
"You will spend the night with a friend who will prove more true than any disgusting sharmoota. sharmoota. The eternal, inimitable Qur"an." The eternal, inimitable Qur"an."
A copy bound in limp rose-colored leather, with English and Arabic en face, en face, rested on the bedside table in this narrow, barely furnished room. It was the only thing new and expensive in the room-a "safe" room close enough to the center of New Prospect for its one window to provide a glimpse of the City Hall"s mansard steeple. The building with its multicolored fish-scale shingles loomed above the lesser buildings like some fantastic sea-dragon frozen in the moment of breaching. The evening sky behind it was ribbed with rolls of cloud tinted a rosy pink by a sun setting out of sight. The solar image, its orange blare of reflection, was caught in the spire"s Victorian gills of gla.s.s-windows on an interior spiral stair closed decades ago to tourists. As Ahmad strained to see from his own window, the thin old panes dirty and wavy and bearing small bubbles of antique manufacture, he saw the dying sunlight seeming to melt the highest corner of one of the rectilinear gla.s.s-skinned civic additions. The City Hall"s mansard steeple holds a clock, and he feared its chiming would keep him awake all of the night, making him a less efficient rested on the bedside table in this narrow, barely furnished room. It was the only thing new and expensive in the room-a "safe" room close enough to the center of New Prospect for its one window to provide a glimpse of the City Hall"s mansard steeple. The building with its multicolored fish-scale shingles loomed above the lesser buildings like some fantastic sea-dragon frozen in the moment of breaching. The evening sky behind it was ribbed with rolls of cloud tinted a rosy pink by a sun setting out of sight. The solar image, its orange blare of reflection, was caught in the spire"s Victorian gills of gla.s.s-windows on an interior spiral stair closed decades ago to tourists. As Ahmad strained to see from his own window, the thin old panes dirty and wavy and bearing small bubbles of antique manufacture, he saw the dying sunlight seeming to melt the highest corner of one of the rectilinear gla.s.s-skinned civic additions. The City Hall"s mansard steeple holds a clock, and he feared its chiming would keep him awake all of the night, making him a less efficient sbahld. sbahld. But its mechanical music-a brief phrase tolling the quarter-hour, tiie last, upward note lingering like an inquisitively lifted eyebrow, and with every fourth quarter a fuller phrase preceding the doleful count of the hour- But its mechanical music-a brief phrase tolling the quarter-hour, tiie last, upward note lingering like an inquisitively lifted eyebrow, and with every fourth quarter a fuller phrase preceding the doleful count of the hour- proves to be lulling, rea.s.suring him, when the shaikh at last left him alone, that this room is indeed safe.
The previous residents of this little chamber have left few clues to their pa.s.sage. Some scuff marks on the baseboards, two or three cigarette burns on the windowsills and bureau top, the shine left by repeated use of the doork.n.o.b and key-slot, a certain faint animal scent in the scratchy blue blanket. The room is religiously clean, more extremely so than Ahmad"s room in his mother"s apartment, which still holds unholy possessions-electronic toys with dead batteries, out-of-date sports and automotive magazines, clothes meant to express, in their severity and snug fit, his teen-age vanity. His eighteen years have acc.u.mulated historical evidence, which will become, he imagines, of great interest to the news media: cardboard-framed photos of children squinting in May sunshine on the brownstone steps of the Thomas Alva Edison Elementary School, Ahmad"s dark gaze and unsmiling mouth embedded in the ranks of other faces, most black and some white, all lumped in the child labor of becoming loyal and literate Americans; photos of the track team, in which Ahmad Mulloy is older and fractionally smiling; track-meet ribbons, their cheap dye rapidly faded; a felt Mets pennant from a ninth-grade bus trip to a game in Shea Stadium; a beautifully calligraphed roll of the names in his Qur"an cla.s.s before it dwindled to just him; his Cla.s.s C driver"s certificate; a photograph of his father, wearing a foreigner"s eager-to-please grin, a thin mustache that must have seemed quaint even in 1986, and shiny, centrally parted hair, obsequiously slicked down where Ahmad wore his own hair, identical in texture and thickness, brushed proudly upright, with a whiff of mousse. His father"s face, it will be broadcast, was more conventionally handsome than the son"s, though a shade darker. His mother, like televised victims of floods and tornadoes, will be much interviewed, at first incoherently, in shock and tears, and later more calmly, speaking in sorrowful retrospect. Her image will appear in the press; she will become momentarily famous. Perhaps there will be a spike in the sale of her paintings.
He is glad the safe room is clean of all clues to his person. This room is, he feels, his decompression chamber for the violent ascent before him, on an explosion as swift and strong as the muscular white horse Buraq.
Shaikh Rashid seemed reluctant to leave. He too, shaven and wearing a Western suit, was engaged in a departure. He fidgeted about the tiny room, tugging open reluctant bureau drawers, and making sure that the bathroom contained washcloths and towels for Ahmad"s ritual ablutions. Fussily, he pointed out the prayer rug on the floor, its woven-in mihrab giving the eastern direction of Mecca, and emphasized how he had placed in the miniature refrigerator an orange, and plain yogurt, and bread for the boy"s breakfast in the morning-very special bread, khibz el-"Abbas, khibz el-"Abbas, the bread of Abbas, made by the Shiites of Lebanon in honor of the religious celebration Ashoura. "It is made with honey," he explained, "and sesame and anise seeds. It is important that you be strong tomorrow morning." the bread of Abbas, made by the Shiites of Lebanon in honor of the religious celebration Ashoura. "It is made with honey," he explained, "and sesame and anise seeds. It is important that you be strong tomorrow morning."
"I may not be hungry."
"Make yourself eat. Is your faith still strong?"
"I believe so, master."
"With this glorious act, you will become my superior. You will leap ahead of me on the golden rolls kept in Heaven." His fine gray eyes, with their long lashes, appeared to water and weaken as he looked down.
"You have a watch?"
"Yes." ATimex he bought with his first paycheck, a clunky one like his mother"s. It has big numbers and phosph.o.r.escent hands to read at night, when the truck cab had been hard to see in, though easy to see out of.
"It is accurate?"
"I believe so."
There is a plain chair in the room, its legs wired togetJier since the rungs are no longer held by glue. Ahmad thought it would be discourteous to take the room"s one chair, and instead, allowing himself a foretaste of the exalted status he will earn, lay down on the bed, lacing his hands togetJier behind his head to show that he had no intention of falling asleep, though in truth he did feel suddenly tired, as if the tawdry room had somewhere in it a leak of soporific gas. He was not comfortable under the shaikh"s concerned gaze, and wished now the man would go. He yearned to savor his solitary hours in this clean, safe room, alone with G.o.d. The curious way in which the imam looked down upon him reminded Ahmad of how he himself stood above the worm and the beetle. Shaikh Rashid was fascinated by him, as if by something repellent yet sacred.
"Dear boy, I have not coerced you, have I?"
"Why, no, master. How could you?"