I cannot promise never to be angry; I cannot promise always to be kind. You know what you are taking on, my darling. It"s only at the start that love is blind and yet I"m still the one you want to be with. You"re the one for me. I"m sure. You are my closest friend, my favourite person, my love, and the wife I"ve waited for. I cannot promise that I deserve you. From this day on, I hope to pa.s.s that test. I love you and I want to make you happy. I promise I would do my very best.
The maaiyan of the bride starts three days before the wedding, which means she is then not supposed to leave the house until the big day. These days are meant for complete relaxation. She is not even supposed to meet the groom. As if Mohit could stay away! Or for that matter, even Sonam!
"Has nervousness kicked in already? Poor you, now you can"t meet Mohit till the wedding day. So tell me frankly, are you nervous?", I asked Sonam.
"Of course, I am. Any girl would be in my place. Even Riya will get nervous during your marriage," she said. I was zapped.
Regaining my composure, I continued, "Why are you nervous?"
"I will be leaving my parents" house and going into a family that is completely unknown to me, except for Mohit. But his presence doesn"t count. So sure, I am nervous."
"Oh, that is the case. I thought..."
"What did you think? Speak up!" She was eager to know.
"I thought you were nervous about your wedding night," I snickered and ran away.
Wedding Bells are Ringing.
Finally, the wedding day arrived!.
The day, which holds utmost importance in a person"s life. It can either bring you immense amount of happiness or completely ruin your life. All of us has been waiting for this day. That morning seemed different from all the previous mornings.
Marriage is a relationship or a responsibility which two people accept in their life. It is about standing together and facing the world. It is never taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years. It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is doing things for each other, not in the att.i.tude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only "marrying" the right partner, it is "being" the right partner.
Mohit had found the right partner for himself in Riya. It started with a casual meeting and today they were about to take the sacred vows together. Special attention was paid to include a generous dose of the colour red in the wedding. The red curtains and red covers added the essence of romance to the day. The red candles, the red lamps, and even the red vases gave it a romantic feel.
The haldi ceremony was about to begin. The friends and family proceeded to dip their fingers in a bowl containing the haldi paste and smeared it all over Mohit and Sonam! The purpose was to make their skin glow for the special day.
Not even an inch of their bodies was spared. We made sure that every inch of Mohit"s face, neck, arms, chest, legs, and feet was covered. Rest of the parts we left clothed. We spared Mohit that much.
"Beta, wait till your marriage!" Mohit exclaimed.
"Oh really, should I apply a thick paste on your I laughed.
He went red faced and didn"t say anything.
After sometime, Mohit and Sonam had an orange glow to their bodies, which looked superb.
"Sonam, you have got the perfect glow before the wedding," said Riya with excitement.
"She is getting ready for tonight," Mohit piped in. Sonam took a thick paste of haldi and applied it all over his hair and face to tease him. They looked so cute together.
After the haldi ceremony, Mohit and Sonam went to bathe the to wash off all the paste. Everyone else was busy getting ready for the chuda ceremony. This was my favourite part of Punjabi weddings. I looked the most excited to witness it. The priest started performing the puja and Sonam"s maternal Uncle made her wear a set of chuda after washing it in milk. The bangles are considered a symbol of love. Red and silver, with the couples" names carved on it. I glanced at Riya and she too stared at me. We shared a naughty smile as we both imagined the same thing.
Sonam"s Uncle had brought some gifts for her parents. To wish Sonam with all the blessings, her cousins and friends tied kaleeras, which were silver plated dangling bangles and had red silk threads on with them.
"Sonam, if I had known that you would look so beautiful on your wedding day, I would have proposed to you before Mohit," I said lightheartedly and Riya immediately reacted to it with a tight punch on my back.
After the chuda ceremony, some of the family broke into spontaneous bhangra dance!
The Punjabis are known for their grand weddings. A Punjabi wedding is a joyful and an extravagant affair, comprising of many colourful customs and rituals which bring together relatives and friends alike. They add to the excitement and happiness.
At last, the two couples were to tie the knot in the next few hours. After a long journey of love, they were one step closer to a happy life together. We were still far behind them. We were still stuck with the hurdles in our way.
It was time for Mohit to sit on the ghodi or the traditional wedding horse and take the baraat to Sonam"s bungalow. The baraat started off with a display of fireworks. It was also accompanied by the rhythm of the dhol. We danced as if we were drunk. A proper baraat dance! Two drummers from Gujarat announced the arrival of the groom outside Sonam"s bungalow in a stately style. After the baraat arrived, the milni ceremony was carried out. Mohit"s father embraced Sonam"s father quiting of and this was followed by the rest of the family members. It was symbolic of the unification of the two families.
Sonam looked drop dead gorgeous as she walked towards the mandap of the wedding. Her red and maroon lehenga had heavy work all over it. She had taken her dupatta over her head, which made her look no less than a princess. She made for a perfect bride! Even her jewellery and heels matched her outfit.
Walking beside her was Riya who looked lovely. She was wearing a blue silk sari that showed off her slim figure.
Both Mohit and Sonam came towards the centre and big garlands were to them, which they handed exchanged. The pundit started with his chants and asked both of them to get up and wak around the sacred fire seven times. The pheres began and Riya and I looked at each other. Long back, we too had taken the seven promises.
"You remember the promises we took?" I asked her.
She nodded.
As Mohit and Sonam took the first of the seven phere, I whispered in Riya"s ear, "Promise one. We will always be together."
She stared at me while the grip on my hand tightened.
"Promise three. We will not let our love fade." I made Riya realize that she had once promised never to let go of me. She didn"t say anything but looked away from me towards the mandap. I slowly wiped tear from my eye. Maybe, it had to end!
The pheres got over and Sonam"s Dad proceeded with her kanyadaan.
I went close to Riya and saw that she was silently crying. I brought her close to me and asked her the reason.
"Who will come forward for my kanyadaan? Whenever I get married, I know Dad that you will be praying for me from there." She pointed towards the sky.
"Jaan, please don"t think like this. We are all with you. We would never let you feel the absence of your Dad in your life. We all love you," I consoled her.
"I know you all love me. However, my Dad holds a special place in my heart. I once dreamed about getting married. I once dreamed about my Dad sitting beside me for my kanyadaan and giving me a warm farewell. This can never turn into reality. I miss my Dad," she cried some more.
I tried to wipe her tears but she was inconsolable. It was difficult to make things okay again. It was next to impossible to fill the place of her Dad. It broke me to see her so sad.
It was time for Sonam to leave her family behind, leave behind the childhood memories related to her house. Everyone from Sonam"s family had tears in their eyes.
Sonam went and hugged her father. They both had tears in their eyes. Mohit went ahead and touched her parents" feet, a.s.suring them that he would always take care of her.
Sonam hugged her Mom for the final time before leaving. They both just looked at each other and held each other"s hands.
She then turned towards Riya and me and said, "Aditya, as you are well aware, Riya suffered a big loss a few days back. Please take care of her always and never let her out of your sight. And by the time Mohit and I come back from our honeymoon, we hope to hear the good news that you are getting married next."
Mohit had not told her anything. While departing, she threw puffed rice over her head, another ritual indicating she was leaving behind good wishes for her parents. Finally, she sped away to her new life.
"Jaan, we are staying here for one more day. I need to spend some time with you. I want to live my whole life in one day with you. I want to hold your hand and roam around the city. I want to hug you where no one can see us. I want to kiss you where no one can point at us. I want to..." said Riya after settling down in her room.
"Sure, sweetheart. I would love to be with you forever. I still want to hold you tight in my arms and never let you go. The feeling of being alone without you by my side kills me," I said. I wondered whether our end was closer, keeping my fingers crossed.
We had decided to stay in Chandigarh for one more day. Riya wanted to spend a day with me alone. We stayed in Sonam"s house that night. I decided to plan something special for Riya for the following day. We wanted to live for one more day. We wanted to love each other for one more day.
The meaning of love is not to be confused with some sentimental outpouring. Love is something much more than an emotional release. Love is the most durable power in the world. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, and it is not the declaration of promises of eternal pa.s.sion. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.
Unrequited Promises.
After the tiring festivities of the day before, I woke up to a fresh morning in Punjab. We had planned to spend a day with each other. I wanted to make this day memorable for her. I wanted her to remember our college days where I used to give her surprises and pamper her a lot. I wanted her to free her mind from tension and just enjoy the moment with me. I brought some gifts for her from a nearby gift shop. I had asked Sonam certain places where we could hang out and spend some time together.
"Where are we going?" she asked me and held my hand as we walked.
"Rose garden. Bachha, get ready for some surprises," I smiled.
She blushed and held my hands tightly. She planted a kiss on my cheek as we walked towards Hotel Shivalik View. We hopped into a double-decker bus. We took our seats and as she tried to open her purse, I removed a rose from my pocket.
"A rose for the lady!" I said and kissed her hand.
"You are the best," she said and kept her head on my shoulder. I felt my shoulder getting wet. I looked down and saw the tears in Riya"s eyes.
"Don"t cry, jaan. I love you and will always support you. Don"t start this beautiful day with tears in your eyes. You know that I hate it when girls cry. If you cry, your eyeliner will get smudged," I teased. The trick worked and Riya was soon her jovial self again.
We reached Rose Garden after sometime. There were roses of all colours, beautiful trees flowing with colourful blossoms, numerous other flowering plants. Several pathways wind in around the gardens. There were benches to sit in while many people sat on the gra.s.s. It was romantic. We roamed around for some time and saw the beautiful fountain, which added to the beauty and romance of the garden. We sat in one corner of the garden. Riya sat beside me and leaned into me. I took out a letter from my bag and kept it on her lap. It reminded me of my early days with Riya. She was flattered seeing the letter on her lap. Without opening it, she hugged me and kissed my neck. Her eyes were filled with tears. I let her read the letter.
My sweetheart, Whenever I see a new morning, I call out your name, but these days, it"s different. These days, love and sadness have become my perennial fear. You are the only love of my life. Please don"t push me away like you don"t care. I try to shout at you to be with me, but only the morning breeze hears me. Don"t you know that I need you beside me? Don"t ever stop thinking of me. Don"t stop caring. Have faith in me as I have in you. I can only hope that this is just a minor setback, but deep down, I know it"s the end. I know the last few years of our relationship will be forgotten. Nevertheless, I won"t let this happen. Not this time for sure. I hate that I can"t go a day without having you on my mind. I"m lost. You are everything to me and losing you would be the worst pain I could endure. I pray every day and hope that you be with me forever. Just please. Please don"t leave me. I understand you have priorities in your life and I am proud of it. I am proud that you value your family and care for them. As children are lucky to get parents, who value their thoughts, even your parents are lucky to have someone like you to take care of them. I would never suggest you to go against your family and live with me. I know your family needs you more than I do. However, I need you no less than them. I a.s.sure you that we can be happy and take care of your family. Please trust me, sweetheart. For the last time, have blind faith in me!
She closed her eyes after reading the letter and looked at me with tearful eyes.
"Why do you do this? Why do you make me feel that no one can take your place? Why do you make me realize that you are the only one perfect companion for me? Every time you do this, I am left speechless," she said kissing me on my lips.
I could feel her pain at that moment. Sometimes we are so helpless, yet we want to give our best. We remained in the same position for a few minutes and then stared at each other for a long time after that. The pain of separation was evident. The pain of loneliness approaching us was imminent. I wanted to shout out loud "no one will love you more than me".
We decided to return after grabbing a quick bite at the nearby reataurant.
We were returning by the bus when Mohit called us. He had left for Dalhousie in the morning.
"Hey Aadi, this place is f.u.c.king romantic. I am missing our office trip days when we had so much fun together. Get married soon and we will come back to this place again," he said and hung up. I had the phone on loudspeaker.
We both looked at each other. Silence filled the air. We could sense each other"s thoughts. I remembered the night Riya wore her black dress and we made love in the hotel room. How I rolled strawberries all over her and kissed her from head to toe. It had been such a romantic night.
"I don"t want to go away from you. This time I can"t take it." I couldn"t control my tears. She brought me near her and played with my hair. She didn"t speak a word. We reached Rock Garden. It was huge and very well lay out. It was well maintained and the odd shapes and waste materials were used in an amazing way to make various figures. There was a small waterfall in the garden and other beautiful things to see. There were some funny mirrors too. We went near the waterfall and settled down. I started questioning Riya.
"What do you love about me?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"I love your simplicity, I love the way you pamper me. I love your smile and everything about you makes me fall for you. Why are you asking me like this?" she smiled.
"To make you realize that you love me and can"t live without me," I said.
She turned her face around and kept quite. I handed her a Ganesha idol packed in a gift wrapper and told her to unwrap it. She loved the idol and made a sweet face looking at it.
She hugged me and said "so sweet of you".
I smiled and played with her hair. Her face glittered when she saw that idol. I handed her one more letter. She stared at me and then started reading.
Why do you no longer want me? I don"t know what to say. I thought our relationship was perfect, why didn"t you think of me even once? I know we could have fixed the problem. Why can"t you give me a chance? Why? If you say you love me and that you can"t live without me, why can we not give this another try? My heart feels empty and hollow. I thought this time no one could separate us. I don"t want to lose you forever. Don"t you remember our romantic nights in Ma.n.a.li, where we cuddled with each other, and made sweet love until day break? I think we broke the flower vase too that night. On top of that, I remember very well that it was your idea. How can you forget the chuda you bought just because it was my wish? Our name carved over it, I thought Aditya and Riya couldn"t be separated. They are one. Why do you want to change that? I would take care of your family. I know your family is your utmost priority and it has to be. However, don"t leave me all alone.
This time, she cried like a small baby. I tried to calm her down and wipe her tears, but failed. Everything was a mess.
After spending the entire day together, we were ready to pack our bags and leave for Mumbai.
When we arrived at the Mumbai airport, neither of us wanted to leave for home, not knowing what the future held for us.
"We will go home tomorrow. Let"s go to some resort till then," said Riya.
We boarded a taxi and cruised our way towards Pali Chowk road. We decided to stay in Pali Beach Resort for the night and then leave for our respective houses the next day. As there was less traffic on the roads at night, we reached within an hour"s time. The resort was built beautifully and faced the majestic Arabian Sea.
We had booked an air-conditioned room for our stay. Soon, as we both were tired, we drifted off to sleep.
I didn"t realize when the clock struck ten in the morning. I just opened my eyes lying on the bed. Riya was in front of the dressing table. I was tired after the hectic journey and my body ached. I didn"t get up from the bed. Riya went out of the room and came back in some time. I took a bath until she came back.
When she came back, she told me to get ready fast, saying she had a surprise waiting for me. I got ready and asked her what it is. She went out and told me to wait. I was excited and nervous at the same time.
She came inside with a trolley. On it was three-tiered cake in the colours of white, red and silver, with little cherubs, roses, and hearts on it.
I read the letters that were beautifully carved in red on the cake.
HAPPY PROPOSAL DAY MY LOVE!.
And here I was thinking that she had forgotten the first time we met!
She handed me a knife and told me to cut the cake. I cut the cake which had a velvet covering. I took the first piece and smeared it all over her face.
"No... I will kill you," she shouted trying to open her eyes.
"Now tell me sweetheart, which colours do you like the most on this cake?" I asked her putting some more cake on her face.
"Shut up, Aadi. I can barely see and you are asking me my favourite colour?"
"Why do you want to take the trouble of washing your face when I am right here beside you?" I said.