The Absentee

Chapter 16

"Treasures, faith, real treasures, by G--!" cried Benson.

"Eh! "pon honour! re"lly now," were the first words which Heathc.o.c.k had uttered since his battle with the goat.

"My dear Heathc.o.c.k, are you alive still?" said Lady Dashfort; "I had really forgotten your existence."

So had Count O"Halloran, but he did not say so.

"Your ladyship has the advantage of me there," said Heathc.o.c.k, stretching himself; "I wish I could forget my existence, for, in my mind, existence is a horrible BORE."

"I thought you WAS a sportsman," said Williamson.

"Well, sir?"

"And a fisherman?"

"Well, sir?"

"Why, look you there, sir," pointing to the flies, "and tell a body life"s a bore."

"One can"t ALWAYS fish, or shoot, I apprehend, sir," said Heathc.o.c.k.

"Not always--but sometimes," said Williamson, laughing; "for I suspect shrewdly you"ve forgot some of your sporting in Bond Street."

"Eh! "pon honour! re"lly now!" said the colonel, retreating again to his safe entrenchment of affectation, from which he never could venture without imminent danger.

""Pon honour," cried Lady Dashfort, "I can swear for Heathc.o.c.k, that I have eaten excellent hares and ducks of his shooting, which, to my knowledge," added she, in a loud whisper, "he bought in the market."

EMPTUM APRUM!" said Lord Colambre to the count, without danger of being understood by those whom it concerned.

The count smiled a second time; but politely turning the attention of the company from the unfortunate colonel by addressing himself to the laughing sportsmen, "Gentlemen, you seem to value these," said he, sweeping the artificial flies from the table into the little basket from which they had been taken; "would you do me the honour to accept of them? They are all of my own making, and consequently of Irish manufacture." Then, ringing the bell, he asked Lady Dashfort"s permission to have the basket put into her carriage.

Benson and Williamson followed the servant, to prevent them from being tossed into the boot. Heathc.o.c.k stood still in the middle of the room taking snuff.

Count O"Halloran turned from him to Lord Colambre, who had just got happily to THE BURIAL-PLACE OF THE NUGENTS, when Lady Dashfort, coming between them, and spying the t.i.tle of the chapter, exclaimed--

"What have you there?--Antiquities! my delight!--but I never look at engravings when I can see realities."

Lord Colambre was then compelled to follow, as she led the way into the hall, where the count took down golden ornaments, and bra.s.s-headed spears, and jointed horns of curious workmanship, that had been found on his estate; and he told of spermaceti wrapped in carpets, and he showed small urns, enclosing ashes; and from among these urns he selected one, which he put into the hands of Lord Colambre, telling him that it had been lately found in an old abbey-ground in his neighbourhood, which had been the burial-place of some of the Nugent family.

"I was just looking at the account of it, in the book which you saw open on my table.--And as you seem to take an interest in that family, my lord, perhaps," said the count, "you may think this urn worth your acceptance."

Lord Colambre said, "It would be highly valuable to him--as the Nugents were his near relations."

Lady Dashfort little expected this blow; she, however, carried him off to the moose-deer, and from moose-deer to round-towers, to various architectural antiquities, and to the real and fabulous history of Ireland, on all which the count spoke with learning and enthusiasm. But now, to Colonel Heathc.o.c.k"s great joy and relief, a handsome collation appeared in the dining-room, of which Ulick opened the folding-doors.

"Count, you have made an excellent house of your castle," said Lady Dashfort.

"It will be, when it is finished," said the count. "I am afraid," added he, smiling, "I live like many other Irish gentlemen, who never are, but always to be, blest with a good house. I began on too large a scale, and can never hope to live to finish it."

""Pon honour! here"s a good thing, which I hope we shall live to finish," said Heathc.o.c.k, sitting down before the collation; and heartily did he eat of grouse pie, and of Irish ortolans, which, as Lady Dashfort observed, "afforded him indemnity for the past, and security for the future."

"Eh! re"lly now! your Irish ortolans are famous good eating," said Heathc.o.c.k.

"Worth being quartered in Ireland, faith! to taste "em," said Benson.

The count recommended to Lady Dashfort some of "that delicate sweetmeat, the Irish plum."

"Bless me, sir--count!" cried Williamson, "it"s by far the best thing of the kind I ever tasted in all my life: where could you get this?"

"In Dublin, at my dear Mrs. G.o.dey"s; where ONLY, in his Majesty"s dominions, it is to be had," said the count. The whole dish vanished in a few seconds. ""Pon honour! I do believe this is the thing the queen"s so fond of," said Heathc.o.c.k.

Then heartily did he drink of the count"s excellent Hungarian wines; and, by the common bond of sympathy between those who have no other tastes but eating and drinking, the colonel, the major, and the captain were now all the best companions possible for one another.

Whilst "they prolonged the rich repast," Lady Dashfort and Lord Colambre went to the window to admire the prospect; Lady Dashfort asked the count the name of some distant hill.

"Ah!" said the count, "that hill was once covered with fine wood; but it was all cut down two years ago."

"Who could have been so cruel?" said her ladyship.

"I forget the present proprietor"s name," said the count; "but he is one of those who, according to THE CLAUSE OF DISTRESS in their leases, LEAD, DRIVE, AND CARRY AWAY, but never ENTER their lands; one of those enemies to Ireland--these cruel absentees!" Lady Dashfort looked through her gla.s.s at the mountain; Lord Colambre sighed, and, endeavouring to pa.s.s it off with a smile, said frankly to the count--

"You are not aware, I am sure, count, that you are speaking to the son of an Irish absentee family.--Nay, do not be shocked, my dear sir; I tell you only, because I thought it fair to do so; but let me a.s.sure you, that nothing you could say on that subject could hurt me personally, because I feel that I am not, that I never can be, an enemy to Ireland. An absentee, voluntarily, I never yet have been; and as to the future, I declare--"

"I declare you know nothing of the future," interrupted Lady Dashfort, in a half-peremptory, half-playful tone--"you know nothing; make no rash vows, and you will break none."

The undaunted a.s.surance of Lady Dashfort"s genius for intrigue gave her an air of frank imprudence, which prevented Lord Colambre from suspecting that more was meant than met the ear. The count and he took leave of one another with mutual regard; and Lady Dashfort rejoiced to have got our hero out of Halloran Castle.

CHAPTER IX

Lord Colambre had waited with great impatience for an answer to the letter of inquiry which he had written about Miss Nugent"s mother.

A letter from Lady Clonbrony arrived; he opened it with the greatest eagerness--pa.s.sed over "Rheumatism warm weather--warm bath--Buxton b.a.l.l.s--Miss Broadhurst--your FRIEND, Sir Arthur Berryl, very a.s.siduous!"

The name of Grace Nugent he found at last, and read as follows:

Her mother"s maiden name was ST. OMAR; and there was a FAUX PAS, certainly. She was, I am told (for it was before my time), educated at a convent abroad; and there was an affair with a Captain Reynolds, a young officer, which her friends were obliged to hush up. She brought an infant to England with her, and took the name of Reynolds--but none of that family would acknowledge her; and she lived in great obscurity, till your uncle Nugent saw, fell in love with her, and (knowing her whole history) married her. He adopted the child, gave her his name, and, after some years, the whole story was forgotten. Nothing could be more disadvantageous to Grace than to have it revived: this is the reason we kept it secret.

Lord Colambre tore the letter to bits.

From the perturbation which Lady Dashfort saw in his countenance, she guessed the nature of the letter which he had been reading, and for the arrival of which he had been so impatient.

"It has worked!" said she to herself. "POUR LE COUP PHILIPPE JE TE TIENS!"

Lord Colambre appeared this day more sensible, than he had ever yet seemed, to the charms of the fair Isabel.

"Many a tennis-ball, and many a heart is caught at the rebound," said Lady Dashfort. "Isabel! now is your time!"

And so it was--or so, perhaps, it would have been, but for a circ.u.mstance which her ladyship, with all her genius for intrigue, had never taken into her consideration. Count O"Halloran came to return the visit which had been paid to him; and, in the course of conversation, he spoke of the officers who had been introduced to him, and told Lady Dashfort that he had heard a report which shocked him much--he hoped it could not be true--that one of these officers had introduced his mistress as his wife to Lady Oranmore, who lived in the neighbourhood.

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