"You have nothing to tell?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said. "I have only to thank you."
He left me. At no other period of our lives were we so disunited. I felt in myself the reverse of everything I perceived in him, and such letters as I wrote to the squire consequently had a homelier tone. It seems that I wrote of the pleasures of simple living--of living for learning"s sake. Mr. Peterborough at the same time despatched praises of my sobriety of behaviour and diligent studiousness, confessing that I began to outstrip him in some of the higher branches. The squire"s brief reply breathed satisfaction, but too evidently on the point where he had been led to misconceive the state of affairs. "He wanted to have me near him, as did another person, whom I appeared to be forgetting; he granted me another year"s leave of absence, bidding me bluffly not to be a bookworm and forget I was an Englishman." The idea that I was deceiving him never entered my mind.
I was deceiving everybody, myself in the bargain, as a man must do when in chase of a woman above him in rank. The chase necessitates deceit--who knows? chicanery of a sort as well; it brings inevitable humiliations; such that ever since the commencement of it at speed I could barely think of my father with comfort, and rarely met him with pleasure. With what manner of face could I go before the prince or the margravine, and say, I am an English commoner, the son of a man of doubtful birth, and I claim the hand of the princess? What contortions were not in store for these features of mine! Even as affairs stood now, could I make a confidant of Temple and let him see me through the stages of the adventure? My jingling of verses, my fretting about the signification of flowers, and trifling with symbols, haunted me excrutiatingly, taunting me with I know not what abject vileness of spirit.
In the midst of these tortures an arrow struck me, in the shape of an anonymous letter, containing one brief line: "The princess is in need of help."
I threw my books aside, and repaired to Count Fretzel"s chateau, from which, happily, my father was absent; but the countenance of the princess gave me no encouragement to dream I could be of help to her; yet a second unsigned note worded in a quaint blunt manner, insisted that it was to me she looked. I chanced to hear the margravine, addressing Baroness Turckems, say: "The princess"s betrothal," what further, escaped me. Soon after, I heard that Prince Otto was a visitor at the lake-palace. My unknown correspondent plied me a third time.
I pasted the sc.r.a.p in my neglected book of notes and reflections, where it had ample s.p.a.ce and about equal lucidity. It drew me to the book, nearly driving me desperate; I was now credulous of anything, except that the princess cared for help from me. I resolved to go home; I had no longer any zeal for study. The desolation of the picture of England in my mind grew congenial. It became imperative that I should go somewhere, for news arrived of my father"s approach with a French company of actors, and deafening entertainments were at hand. On the whole, I thought it decent to finish my course at the University, if I had not quite lost the power of getting into the heart of books. One who studies is not being a fool: that is an established truth. I thanked Dr.
Julius for planting it among my recollections. The bone and marrow of study form the surest antidote to the madness of that light gambler, the heart, and distasteful as books were, I had gained the habit of sitting down to them, which was as good as an instinct toward the right medicine, if it would but work.
On an afternoon of great heat I rode out for a gaze at the lake-palace, that I chose to fancy might be the last, foreseeing the possibility of one of my fits of movement coming on me before sunset. My very pulses throbbed "away!" Transferring the sense of overwhelming heat to my moral condition, I thought it the despair of silliness to stay baking in that stagnant place, where the sky did nothing but shine, gave nothing forth.
The sky was bronze, a vast furnace dome. The folds of light and shadow everywhere were satin-rich; shadows perforce of blackness had light in them, and the light a sword-like sharpness over their edges. It was inanimate radiance. The laurels sparkled as with frost-points; the denser foliage dropped burning brown: a sickly saint"s-ring was round the heads of the pines. That afternoon the bee hummed of thunder, and refreshed the ear.
I pitied the horse I rode, and the dog at his heels, but for me the intensity was inspiriting. Nothing lay in the light, I had the land to myself. "What hurts me?" I thought. My physical pride was up, and I looked on the cattle in black corners of the fields, and here and there a man tumbled anyhow, a wreck of limbs, out of the insupportable glare, with an even glance. Not an eye was lifted on me.
I saw nothing that moved until a boat shot out of the bight of sultry lake-water, lying close below the dark promontory where I had drawn rein. The rower was old Schwartz Warhead. How my gorge rose at the impartial brute! He was rowing the princess and a young man in uniform across the lake.
That they should cross from unsheltered paths to close covert was reasonable conduct at a time when the vertical rays of the sun were fiery arrow-heads. As soon as they were swallowed in the gloom I sprang in my saddle with torture, transfixed by one of the coa.r.s.est shafts of hideous jealousy. Off I flew, tearing through dry underwood, and round the bend of the lake, determined to confront her, wave the man aside, and have my last word with the false woman. Of the real Ottilia I had lost conception. Blood was inflamed, brain bare of vision: "He takes her hand, she jumps from the boat; he keeps her hand, she feigns to withdraw it, all woman to him in her eyes: they pa.s.s out of sight." A groan burst from me. I strained my crazy imagination to catch a view of them under cover of the wood and torture myself trebly, but it was now blank, shut fast. Sitting bolt upright, panting on horseback in the yellow green of one of the open woodways, I saw the young officer raise a branch of chestnut and come out. He walked moodily up to within a yard of my horse, looked up at me, and with an angry stare that grew to be one of astonishment, said, "Ah? I think I have had the pleasure--somewhere? in Wurtemberg, if I recollect."
It was Prince Otto. I dismounted. He stood alone. The spontaneous question on my lips would have been "Where is she?" but I was unable to speak a word.
"English?" he said, patting the horse"s neck.
"Yes--the horse? an English hunter. How are you, Prince Otto? Do you like the look of him?"
"Immensely. You know we have a pa.s.sion for English thoroughbreds. Pardon me, you look as if you had been close on a sunstroke. Do you generally take rides in this weather?"
"I was out by chance. If you like him, pray take him; take him. Mount him and try him. He is yours if you care to have him; if he doesn"t suit you send him up to Count Fretzel"s. I"ve had riding enough in the light."
"Perhaps you have," said he, and hesitated. "It"s difficult to resist the offer of such a horse. If you want to dispose of him, mention it when we meet again. Shall I try him? I have a slight inclination to go as hard as you have been going, but he shall have good grooming in the prince"s stables, and that "s less than half as near again as Count Pretzel"s place; and a horse like this ought not to be out in this weather, if you will permit me the remark."
"No: I"m ashamed of bringing him out, and shan"t look on him with satisfaction," said I. "Take him and try him, and then take him from me, if you don"t mind."
"Do you know, I would advise your lying down in the shade awhile?" he observed solicitously. "I have seen men on the march in Hungary and Italy. An hour"s rest under cover would have saved them."
I thanked him.
"Ice is the thing!" he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed. "I "ll ride and have some fetched to you. Rest here."
With visible pleasure he swung to the saddle. I saw him fix his cavalry thighs and bound off as if he meant to take a gate. Had he glanced behind him he would have fancied that the sun had done its worst. I ran at full speed down the footpath, mad to think she might have returned homeward by the lake. The two had parted--why? He this way, she that.
They would not have parted but for a division of the will. I came on the empty boat. Schwartz lay near it beneath heavy boughs, smoking and perspiring in peace. Neither of us spoke. And it was now tempered by a fit of alarm that I renewed my search. So when I beheld her, intense grat.i.tude broke my pa.s.sion; when I touched her hand it was trembling for absolute a.s.surance of her safety. She was leaning against a tree, gazing on the ground, a white figure in that iron-moted gloom.
"Otto!" she cried, shrinking from the touch; but at sight of me, all softly as a light in the heavens, her face melted in a suffusion of wavering smiles, and deep colour shot over them, heavenly to see. She pressed her bosom while I spoke: a lover"s speech, breathless.
"You love me?" she said.
"You have known it!"
"Yes, yes!"
"Forgiven me? Speak, princess."
"Call me by my name."
"My own soul! Ottilia!"
She disengaged her arms tenderly.
"I have known it by my knowledge of myself," she said, breathing with her lips dissevered. "My weakness has come upon me. Yes, I love you. It is spoken. It is too true. Is it a fate that brings us together when I have just lost my little remaining strength--all power? You hear me! I pretend to wisdom, and talk of fate!"
She tried to laugh in scorn of herself, and looked at me with almost a bitter smile on her features, made beautiful by her soft eyes. I feared from the helpless hanging of her underlip that she would swoon; a shudder convulsed her; and at the same time I became aware of the blotting out of sunlight, and a strange bowing and sh.o.r.e-like noising of the forest.
"Do not heed me," she said in happy undertones. "I think I am going to cry like a girl. One cannot see one"s pride die like this, without but it is not anguish of any kind. Since we are here together, I would have no other change."
She spoke till the tears came thick.
I told her of the letters I had received, warning me of a trouble besetting her. They were, perhaps, the excuse for my conduct, if I had any.
Schwartz burst on us with his drill-sergeant"s shout for the princess.
Standing grey in big rain-drops he was an object of curiosity to us both. He came to take her orders.
"The thunder," he announced, raising a telegraphic arm, "rolls. It rains. We have a storm. Command me, princess! your highness!"
Ottilia"s eyelids were set blinking by one look aloft. Rain and lightning filled heaven and earth.
"Direct us, you!" she said to me gently.
The natural proposal was to despatch her giant by the direct way down the lake to fetch a carriage from the stables, or matting from the boathouse. I mentioned it, but did not press it.
She meditated an instant. "I believe I may stay with my beloved?"
Schwartz and I ran to the boat, hauled it on land, and set it keel upward against a low leafy dripping branch. To this place of shelter, protecting her as securely as I could, I led the princess, while Schwartz happed a rough trench around it with one of the sculls. We started him on foot to do the best thing possible; for the storm gave no promise that it was a pa.s.sing one. In truth, I knew that I should have been the emissary and he the guard; but the storm overhead was not fuller of its mighty burden than I of mine. I looked on her as mine for the hour, and well won.
CHAPTER x.x.xI. PRINCESS OTTILIA"S LETTER
That hour of tempest went swift as one of its flashes over our little nest of peace, where we crouched like insects. The lightning and the deluge seemed gloriously endless. Ottilia"s harbouring nook was dry within an inch of rushing floods and pattered mire. On me the torrents descended, and her gentle efforts drew me to her side, as with a maternal claim to protect me, or to perish in my arms if the lightning found us. We had for prospect an ever-outbursting flame of foliage, and the hubbub of the hissing lake, crimson, purple, dusky grey, like the face of a pa.s.sionate creature scourged. It was useless to speak. Her lips were shut, but I had the intent kindness of her eyes on me almost unceasingly.
The good hour slipped away. Old Warhead"s splashed knees on the level of our heads were seen by us when the thunder had abated. Ottilia prepared to rise.
"You shall hear from me," she said, bending with brows measuring the boat-roof, like a bird about to fly.
"Shall I see you?"