The matter most present to me was my injustice regarding my poor father"s speech in the City hall. He had caused me to suffer so much that I generally felt for myself when he appealed for sympathy, or provoked some pity: but I was past suffering, and letting kindly recollection divest the speech of its verbiage, I took it to my heart.
It was true that he had in his blind way struck the keynote of his position, much as I myself had conceived it before. Harsh trials had made me think of my own fortunes more than of his. This I felt, and I thought there never had been so moving a speech. It seemed to make the world in debt to us. What else is so consolatory to a ruined man?
In reality the busy little creature within me, whom we call self, was digging pits for comfort to flow in, of any kind, in any form; and it seized on every idea, every circ.u.mstance, to turn it to that purpose, and with such success, that when by-and-by I learnt how entirely inactive special Providence had been in my affairs, I had to collect myself before I could muster the conception of grat.i.tude toward the n.o.ble woman who clothed me in the illusion. It was to the Princess Ottilia, acting through Count Kesensky, that I owed both my wafting away from England at a wretched season, and that chance of a career in Parliament! The captain of the Verona hinted as much when, after a year of voyaging, we touched at an East Indian seaport, and von Redwitz joined the vessel to resume the post I was occupying. Von Redwitz (the son of Prince Ernest"s Chancellor, I discovered) could have told me more than he did, but he handed me a letter from the princess, calling me home urgently, and even prescribing my route, and bidding me come straight to Germany and to Sarkeld. The summons was distasteful, for I had settled into harness under my scientific superiors, and had proved to my messmates that I was neither morose nor over-conceited. Captain Martinitz persuaded me to return, and besides, there lay between the lines of Ottilia"s letter a signification of welcome things better guessed at than known. Was I not bound to do her bidding? Others had done it: young von Redwitz, for instance, in obeying the telegraph wires and feigning sickness to surrender his place to me, when she wished to save me from misery by hurrying me to new scenes with a task for my hand and head;--no mean stretch of devotion on his part. Ottilia was still my princess; she my providence. She wrote:
"Come home, my friend Harry: you have been absent too long. He who intercepts you to displace you has his career before him in the vessel, and you nearer home. The home is always here where I am, but it may now take root elsewhere, and it is from Ottilia you hear that delay is now really loss of life. I tell you no more. You know me, that when I say come, it is enough."
A simple adieu and her name ended the mysterious letter. Not a word of Prince Hermann. What had happened? I guessed at it curiously and incessantly and only knew the nature of my suspicion by ceasing to hope as soon as I seemed to have divined it. I did not wrong my soul"s high mistress beyond the one flash of tentative apprehension which in perplexity struck at impossibilities. Ottilia would never have summoned me to herself. But was Janet free? The hope which refused to live in that other atmosphere of purest calm, sprang to full stature at the bare thought, and would not be extinguished though all the winds beset it.
Had my girl"s courage failed, to spare her at the last moment? I fancied it might be: I was sure it was not so. Yet the doubt pressed on me with the force of a world of unimagined shifts and chances, and just kept the little flame alive, at times intoxicating me, though commonly holding me back to watch its forlorn conflict with probabilities known too well. It cost me a struggle to turn aside to Germany from the Italian highroad.
I chose the line of the Brenner, and stopped half a day at Innsbruck to pay a visit to Colonel Heddon, of whom I had the joyful tidings that two of his daughters were away to go through the German form of the betrothal of one of them to an Englishman. The turn of the tide had come to him. And it comes to me, too, in a fresh spring tide whenever I have to speak of others instead of this everlastingly recurring I of the autobiographer, of which the complacent penman has felt it to be his duty to expose the mechanism when out of action, and which, like so many of our sins of commission, appears in the shape of a terrible offence when the occasion for continuing it draws to a close. The pleasant narrator in the first person is the happy bubbling fool, not the philosopher who has come to know himself and his relations toward the universe. The words of this last are one to twenty; his mind is bent upon the causes of events rather than their progress. As you see me on the page now, I stand somewhere between the two, approximating to the former, but with sufficient of the latter within me to tame the delightful expansiveness proper to that coming hour of marriage-bells and bridal-wreaths. It is a sign that the end, and the delivery of reader and writer alike, should not be dallied with.
The princess had invited Lucy Heddon to Sarkeld to meet Temple, and Temple to meet me. Onward I flew. I saw the old woods of the lake-palace, and, as it were, the light of my past pa.s.sion waning above them. I was greeted by the lady of all n.o.bility with her gracious warmth, and in his usual abrupt manful fashion by Prince Hermann. And I had no time to reflect on the strangeness of my stepping freely under the roof where a husband claimed Ottilia, before she led me into the library, where sat my lost and recovered, my darling; and, unlike herself, for a moment, she faltered in rising and breathing my name.
We were alone. I knew she was no bondwoman. The question how it had come to pa.s.s lurked behind everything I said and did; speculation on the visible features, and touching of the unfettered hand, restrained me from uttering or caring to utter it. But it was wonderful. It thrust me back on Providence again for the explanation--humbly this time. It was wonderful and blessed, as to loving eyes the first-drawn breath of a drowned creature restored to life. I kissed her hand. "Wait till you have heard everything, Harry," she said, and her voice was deeper, softer, exquisitely strange in its known tones, as her manner was, and her eyes. She was not the blooming, straight-shouldered, high-breathing girl of other days, but sister to the day of her "Good-bye, Harry," pale and worn. The eyes had wept. This was Janet, haply widowed. She wore no garb nor a shade of widowhood. Perhaps she had thrown it off, not to offend an implacable temper in me. I said, "I shall hear nothing that can make you other than my own Janet--if you will?"
She smiled a little. "We expected Temple"s arrival sooner than yours, Harry!"
"Do you take to his Lucy?"
"Yes, thoroughly."
The perfect ring of Janet was there.
Mention of Riversley made her conversation lively, and she gave me moderately good news of my father, quaint, out of Julia Bulsted"s latest letter to her.
"Then how long," I asked astonished, "how long have you been staying with the princess?"
She answered, colouring, "So long, that I can speak fairish German."
"And read it easily?"
"I have actually taken to reading, Harry."
Her courage must have quailed, and she must have been looking for me on that morning of miserable aspect when I beheld the last of England through wailful showers, like the scene of a burial. I did not speak of it, fearing to hurt her pride, but said, "Have you been here--months?"
"Yes, some months," she replied.
"Many?"
"Yes," she said, and dropped her eyelids, and then, with a quick look at me, "Wait for Temple, Harry. He is a day behind his time. We can"t account for it."
I suggested, half in play, that perhaps he had decided, for the sake of a sea voyage, to come by our old route to Germany on board the barque Priscilla, with Captain Welsh.
A faint shudder pa.s.sed over her. She shut her eyes and shook her head.
Our interview satisfied my heart"s hunger no further. The Verona"s erratic voyage had cut me off from letters.
Janet might be a widow, for aught I knew. She was always Janet to me; but why at liberty? why many months at Sarkeld, the guest of the princess? Was she neither maid nor widow--a wife flown from a brutal husband? or separated, and forcibly free? Under such conditions Ottilia would not have commanded my return but what was I to imagine? A boiling couple of hours divided me from the time for dressing, when, as I meditated, I could put a chance question or two to the man commissioned to wait on me, and hear whether the English lady was a Fraulein. The Margravine and Prince Ernest were absent. Hermann worked in his museum, displaying his treasures to Colonel Heddon. I sat with the ladies in the airy look-out tower of the lake-palace, a prey to intense speculations, which devoured themselves and changed from fire to smoke, while I recounted the adventures of our ship"s voyage, and they behaved as if there were nothing to tell me in turn, each a sphinx holding the secret I thirsted for. I should not certainly have thirsted much if Janet had met me as far half-way as a delicate woman may advance. The mystery lay in her evident affection, her apparent freedom and unfathomable reserve, and her desire that I should see Temple before she threw off her feminine armour, to which, judging by the indications, Ottilia seemed to me to accede.
My old friend was spied first by his sweetheart Lucy, winding dilatorily over the hill away from Sarkeld, in one of the carriages sent to meet him. He was guilty of wasting a prodigious number of minutes with his trumpery "How d" ye do"s," and his glances and excuses, and then I had him up in my room, and the tale was told; it was not Temple"s fault if he did not begin straightforwardly.
I plucked him from his narrator"s vexatious and inevitable commencement: "Temple, tell me, did she go to the altar?"
He answered "Yes!"
"She did? Then she"s a widow?"
"No, she isn"t," said Temple, distracting me by submitting to the lead I distracted him by taking.
"Then her husband"s alive?"
Temple denied it, and a devil seized him to perceive some comicality in the dialogue.
"Was she married?"
Temple said "No," with a lurking drollery about his lips. He added, "It "s nothing to laugh over, Richie."
"Am I laughing? Speak out. Did Edbury come to grief overnight in any way?"
Again Temple p.r.o.nounced a negative, this time wilfully enigmatical: he confessed it, and accused me of the provocation. He dashed some laughter with gravity to prepare for my next a.s.sault.
"Was Edbury the one to throw up the marriage? Did he decline it?"
"No," was the answer once more.
Temple stopped my wrath by catching at me and begging me to listen.
"Edbury was drowned, Richie."
"Overnight?"
"No, not overnight. I can tell it all in half-a-dozen words, if you"ll be quiet; and I know you"re going to be as happy as I am, or I shouldn"t trifle an instant. He went overnight on board the barque Priscilla to see Mabel Sweetwinter, the only woman he ever could have cared for, and he went the voyage, just as we did. He was trapped, caged, and transported; it"s a repet.i.tion, except that the poor old Priscilla never came to land. She foundered in a storm in the North Sea. That "s all we know. Every soul perished, the captain and all. I knew how it would be with that crew of his some day or other. Don"t you remember my saying the Priscilla was the kind of name of a vessel that would go down with all hands, and leave a bottle to float to sh.o.r.e? A gin-bottle was found on our East coast-the old captain must have discovered in the last few moments that such things were on board--and in it there was a paper, and the pa.s.sengers" and crew"s names in his handwriting, written as if he had been sitting in his parlour at home; over them a line--"The Lord"s will is about to be done"; and underneath--"We go to His judgement resigned and cheerful." You know the old captain, Richie?
Temple had tears in his eyes. We both stood blinking for a second or two.
I could not but be curious to hear the reason for Edbury"s having determined to sail.
"Don"t you understand how it was, Richie?" said Temple. "Edbury went to persuade her to stay, or just to see her for once, and he came to persuasions. He seems to have been succeeding, but the captain stepped on board and he treated Edbury as he did us two: he made him take the voyage for discipline"s sake and "his soul"s health.""
"How do you know all this, Temple?"
"You know your friend Kiomi was one of the party. The captain sent her back on sh.o.r.e because he had no room for her. She told us Edbury offered bribes of hundreds and thousands for the captain to let him and Mabel go off in the boat with Kiomi, and then he took to begging to go alone.
He tried to rouse the crew. The poor fellow cringed, she says; he threatened to swim off. The captain locked him up."
My immediate reflections. .h.i.t on the Bible lessons Edbury must have had to swallow, and the gaping of the waters when its truths were suddenly and tremendously brought home to him.
An odd series of accidents! I thought.