"I should imagine you are, only rather pale."
"Have you, tell me, Clara, seen her yourself? Is she well?"
"Pale: not unwell: anxious."
"About me?"
"It may be about the political affairs of the Continent; they are disturbed."
"She spoke of me?"
"Yes."
"She is coming by the next boat?"
"It"s my fear that she is."
"Why do you fear?"
"Shall I answer you, Harry? It is useless now. Well, because she has been deceived. That is why. You will soon find it out."
"Prince Ernest is at Sarkeld?"
"In Paris, I hear."
"How will your despatch reach these ladies in time for them to come over by the next boat?"
"I have sent my father"s servant. The General--he is promoted at last, Harry--attends the ladies in person, and is now waiting for the boat"s arrival over there, to follow my directions."
"You won"t leave me?"
Miss Goodwin had promised to meet the foreign ladies on the pier. We quarrelled and made it up a dozen times like girl and boy, I calling her aunt Clara, as in the old days, and she calling me occasionally son Richie: an imitation of my father"s manner of speech to me when we formed acquaintance first in Venice. But I was very little aware of what I was saying or doing. The forces of my life were yoked to the heart, and tumbled as confusedly as the world under Phaethon charioteer. We walked on the heights above the town. I looked over the water to the white line of sh.o.r.e and batteries where this wonder stood, who was what poets dream of, deep-hearted men hope for, none quite believe in.
Hardly could I; and though my relenting spinster friend at my elbow kept a.s.suring me it was true that she was there, my sceptical sight fixed on the stale prominences visible in the same features which they had worn day after empty day of late. This deed of hers was an act of devotion great as death. I knew it from experience consonant to Ottilia"s character; but could a princess, hereditary, and bound in the league of governing princes, dare so to brave her condition? Complex of mind, simplest in character, the uncontrollable n.o.bility of her spirit was no sooner recognized by me than I was shocked throughout by a sudden light, contrasting me appallingly with this supreme of women, who swept the earth aside for truth. I had never before received a distinct intimation of my littleness of nature, and my first impulse was to fly from thought, and then, as if to prove myself justly accused, I caught myself regretting--no, not regretting, gazing, as it were, on a picture of regrets--that Ottilia was not a romantic little lady of semi-celestial rank, exquisitely rash, wilful, desperately enamoured, bearing as many flying hues and peeps of fancy as a love-ballad, and not more roughly brushing the root-emotions.
If she had but been such an one, what sprightly colours, delicious sadness, magical transformations, tenderest intermixture of earth and heaven; what tears and sunbeams, divinest pathos: what descents from radiance to consolatory twilight, would have surrounded me for poetry and pride to dwell on! What captivating melody in the minor key would have been mine, though I lost her--the legacy of it all for ever! Say a petulant princess, a star of beauty, mad for me, and the whisper of our pa.s.sion and sorrows traversing the flushed world! Was she coming? Not she, but a touchstone, a relentless mirror, a piercing eye, a mind severe as the G.o.ddess of the G.o.d"s head: a princess indeed, but essentially a princess above women: a remorseless intellect, an actual soul visible in the flesh. She was truth. Was I true? Not so very false, yet how far from truth! The stains on me (a modern man writing his history is fugitive and crepuscular in alluding to them, as a woman kneeling at the ear-guichet) burnt like the blood-spots on the criminal compelled to touch his victim by savage ordinance, which knew the savage and how to search him. And these were faults of weakness rather than the sins of strength. I might as fairly hope for absolution of them from Ottilia as from offended laws of my natural being, gentle though she was, and charitable.
Was I not guilty of letting her come on to me hoodwinked at this moment? I had a faint memory of Miss Goodwin"s saying that she had been deceived, and I suggested a plan of holding aloof until she had warned the princess of my perfect recovery, to leave it at her option to see me.
"Yes," Miss Goodwin a.s.sented: "if you like, Harry."
Her compa.s.sion for me only tentatively encouraged the idea. "It would, perhaps, be right. You are the judge. If you can do it. You are acting bravely." She must have laughed at me in her heart.
The hours wore on. My curse of introspection left me, and descending through the town to the pier, amid the breezy blue skirts and bonnet-strings, we watched the packet-boat approaching. There was in advance one of the famous swift island wherries. Something went wrong with it, for it was overtaken, and the steamer came in first. I jumped on board, much bawled at. Out of a crowd of unknown visages, Janet appeared: my aunt Dorothy was near her. The pair began chattering of my paleness, and wickedness in keeping my illness unknown to them. They had seen Temple on an excursion to London; he had betrayed me, as he would have betrayed an archangel to Janet.
"Will you not look at us, Harry?" they both said.
The pa.s.sengers were quitting the boat, strangers every one.
"Harry, have we really offended you in coming?" said Janet.
My aunt Dorothy took the blame on herself.
I scarcely noticed them, beyond leading them on to the pier-steps and leaving them under charge of Miss Goodwin, who had, in matters of luggage and porterage, the practical mind and aplomb of an Englishwoman that has pa.s.sed much of her time on the Continent. I fancied myself vilely duped by this lady. The boat was empty of its pa.s.sengers; a grumbling pier-man, wounded in his dignity, notified to me that there were fines for disregard of the Company"s rules and regulations. His tone altered; he touched his hat: "Didn"t know who you was, my lord."
Janet overheard him, and her face was humorous.
"We may break the rules, you see," I said to her.
"We saw him landing on the other side of the water," she replied; so spontaneously did the circ.u.mstance turn her thoughts on my father.
"Did you speak to him?"
"No."
"You avoided him?"
"Aunty and I thought it best. He landed... there was a crowd."
Miss Goodwin interposed: "You go to Harry"s hotel?"
"Grandada is coming down to-morrow or next day," Janet prompted my aunt Dorothy.
"If we could seek for a furnished house; Uberly would watch the luggage," Dorothy murmured in distress.
"Furnished houses, even rooms at hotels, are doubtful in the height of the season," Miss Goodwin remarked. "Last night I engaged the only decent set of rooms I could get, for friends of Harry"s who are coming."
"No wonder he was disappointed at seeing us--he was expecting them!"
said Janet, smiling a little.
"They are sure to come," said Miss Goodwin.
Near us a couple of yachtsmen were conversing.
"Oh, he"ll be back in a day or two," one said. "When you "ve once tasted that old boy, you can"t do without him. I remember when I was a youngster--it was in Lady Betty Bolton"s day; she married old Edbury, you know, first wife--the Magnificent was then in his prime. He spent his money in a week: so he hired an eighty-ton schooner; he laid violent hands on a Jew, bagged him, lugged him on board, and sailed away."
"What the deuce did he want with a Jew?" cried the other.
"Oh, the Jew supplied cheques for a three months" cruise in the Mediterranean, and came home, I heard, very good friends with his pirate. That"s only one of dozens."
The unconscious slaughterers laughed.
"On another occasion"--I heard it said by the first speaker, as they swung round to parade the pier, and pa.s.sed on narrating.
"Not an hotel, if it is possible to avoid it," my aunt Dorothy, with heightened colour, urged Miss Goodwin. They talked together.
"Grandada is coming to you, Harry," Janet said. "He has business in London, or he would have been here now. Our horses and carriages follow us: everything you would like. He does love you! he is very anxious.
I"m afraid his health is worse than he thinks. Temple did not say your father was here, but grandada must have suspected it when he consented to our coming, and said he would follow us. So that looks well perhaps.
He has been much quieter since your money was paid back to you. If they should meet... no, I hope they will not: grandada hates noise. And, Harry, let me tell you: it may be nothing: if he questions you, do not take fire; just answer plainly: I"m sure you understand. One in a temper at a time I"m sure "s enough: you have only to be patient with him. He has been going to London, to the City, seeing lawyers, bankers, brokers, and coming back muttering. Ah! dear old man. And when he ought to have peace! Harry, the poor will regret him in a thousand places. I write a great deal for him now, and I know how they will. What are you looking at?"