"August, you called upon me. Dost thou believe on the Son of G.o.d?"
A tingle ran down August"s spine. Those words were Scripture. He remembered them very well. Jesus had asked that question of a blind man.
August"s breath quickened. What was it that the man answered in the Bible? August thought for a moment before quoting John 9:36 in a hesitant voice. "Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him?"
"Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee." The words paralleled Christ"s reply in the Bible.
August felt a trembling that started in his toes and worked all the way up through his body. The love of a Savior whom he"d so long denied penetrated the darkness and cold that engulfed his body.
Suddenly all the bitterness melted away from August"s heart. In an instant, the blindness of his anger lifted, and he could once again see. He remembered the closeness and comfort that came from being right with G.o.d.
"I"ve really made a mess of things, Lord. Forgive me," August cried out. "Please forgive me."
August wept tears of repentance as he thought of G.o.d"s love. Even though he"d rejected that love, Jesus had reached through the wall of August"s disappointment and denial to be at his side when August needed Him most. What a precious friend!
The presence of Christ at his side never subsided, even as the tractor was lifted from overhead. August struggled to open his eyes, but they felt heavy and weighted down.
"August, August, old buddy, wake up. Wake up!" one of the men called.
August opened his eyes to see the hazy image of several men. Above them the spruce trees parted to reveal a brilliant sky of cobalt blue. August tried to sit up, but firm hands held him down.
"Don"t move, August. You"re hurt pretty bad. We"re going to get you some help. Just hang on."
August tried to remain conscious, but his mind flooded with blackness, and his body went limp.
"Maybe it"s better this way," one worker said to another. "I wouldn"t want to be awake when they moved me. Not with the way his body must be broken up inside." The men agreed as they waited for a stretcher.
Coming out of the darkness was much like surfacing after diving deep into a lake. Fighting against the urge to remain in the dark stillness, August awoke to strange voices and blinding pain. Feeling as though every part of his body was broken, August moaned in agony.
"He"s awake, Doctor," a young woman"s voice called.
A man peered down at August with a look of concern. "Mr. Eriksson, I"m Dr. Butler. Can you understand me?"
"Yes," August answered slowly. Even speaking seemed painful.
"Mr. Eriksson, you"ve sustained some injuries. We won"t know the extent of those injuries until our examination is complete. You have a concussion and a deep laceration on your forehead. Other than that, it"s hard to tell. We"ll do what we can to make you comfortable."
"Where am I?" August asked, knowing that there hadn"t been any hospitals in the area where he had been working.
"Anchorage. They flew you in yesterday."
"I"ve been unconscious that long?"
"I"m afraid so, but don"t worry. It isn"t at all unusual after sustaining a severe head injury. For now, I"d just like you to rest and let us do our job."
August gave a slight nod before drifting into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Three days later, August was propped up in bed, trying to absorb a full a.s.sessment of his condition.
"You are most fortunate, Mr. Eriksson," the doctor explained. "Had you landed on a hard surface, you"d most likely be dead. Instead, you landed in wet muskeg, which caused your body to sink beneath the weight of the tractor. When they were able to pull the machinery from you, they discovered that you were beneath the ground"s surface. No one can explain why the tractor didn"t sink right along with you, but perhaps the weight was better distributed. There"s really no way of knowing," the doctor said as he glanced back and forth from August"s face to the chart he held.
"Some might, in fact, call it a miracle. It took over four hours to free you, and you were unconscious the entire time. Fortunately, you didn"t lose much blood," Dr. Butler added.
"But I remember being awake. I remember talking to..." August"s voice fell silent.
"I can only go by what the pilot pa.s.sed on to me from the road crew. However, it would fit with the nature of your injuries. Besides the concussion, you have a broken collarbone on the left side and some relatively minor lacerations elsewhere. We were fearful that you might have sustained several fractured lumbar vertebrae."
"Several what?" August questioned. Although his sister was a registered nurse, he had never taken the time to learn much more than the basics that kept him alive.
"We thought your back might be broken, but it appears that all is well. I"d say several weeks will right what"s wrong, and you"ll be able to return to your home. I strongly caution against any strenuous labor, however, for at least two or three months."
"That long?" August asked in a weary voice.
"I"m sorry, Mr. Eriksson," the doctor sympathized, "but as I"ve already stated, you"re lucky to be alive."
"Not lucky," August said with a weak grin. "G.o.d saved me from death, and believe me, I"m grateful."
"Well then, I expect a good patient who"s obedient to orders," Dr. Butler answered and turned to leave. "And I happen to agree with you, Mr. Eriksson. You were very blessed."
August nodded and relaxed as the doctor left. No sooner had he walked through the door than a gray-haired nurse entered the room.
"Good day, Mr. Eriksson," the pleasant-voiced woman said. "I"m Nurse Roberts. How are you feeling?"
"Well enough, I suppose."
"Good, good. I"ll need to take your temperature and pulse now," the woman said as she automatically popped a thermometer in August"s mouth and took his wrist.
The woman reminded August of his mother. She was firm, yet gentle in her touch, and her voice was like a spoken lullaby.
"I"ll bet you"d enjoy some breakfast," she chattered after marking down his pulse rate. "Well, I have just the thing for you. Eggs, toast, juice, and maybe even some bacon. How about it?" she questioned, removing the thermometer from August"s mouth.
"It sounds wonderful," August agreed.
"Then I"ll fetch you a tray and be back in a jiffy," Nurse Roberts announced and hurried from the room.
August contemplated the tight bandaging that held his left arm firmly against his body. He was grateful that it was his left collarbone rather than his right that bore the break. At least he could still use his right hand.
Nurse Roberts came into the room with a steaming tray of food. "Here we are. This ought to make you feel considerably better. You"ll notice that I"ve brought you some coffee as well. Now, can I get you anything else?"
"I appreciate all that you"ve done. If it wouldn"t be too much trouble, I"d be most grateful if you"d get me a Bible," August said, struggling to sit up. "I have some catching up to do."
"Here, let me help you," Nurse Roberts said as she put the tray down. She lifted August with ease and even managed to keep from causing him greater pain.
August looked into the soft brown eyes and sighed. He missed his mother.
"Thank you," August whispered.
"Not at all," the woman said, and brought the tray to his bed. "Now, you eat everything here, and I"ll be happy to search out a Bible for you."
August reached out and placed his hand to cover the older woman"s hand. "Would it offend you if I told you that you remind me of my mother?"
The woman broke into a big smile. "Certainly not. Is she nearby? Can I call her for you?"
"She"s dead," August said thoughtfully. "No, she"s gone, but she"s in heaven. She loved G.o.d more than anything or anyone, and I know I"ll see her again."
"That always makes it easier, doesn"t it?" the woman observed. "Knowing that your loved ones are safe in the arms of Jesus and that you"ll one day see them in heaven-it"s all that gets me through each day when I think of those who have gone before me."
"You talk as one who knows," August replied softly.
"I do, son. I do. I lost my husband and children in the influenza epidemic. I decided to train and become a nurse after that. But even after all these years, it hurts to remember them and know that I must wait." The woman"s voice was barely audible.
August squeezed her hand. "Someone is always left behind. I guess that"s our job."
The woman smiled and patted August"s hand. "Of course, you"re right. Now, you eat, and I"ll go find you a Bible."
It wasn"t until the next day that August came to realize the doctor had given him a great deal of pain killer. As the medication wore off, deep, penetrating pain filled August"s body. He struggled to forget it, forcing his mind away from the hospital and to the small rural village where Beth and the boys lived. He tried to imagine Beth at work and the boys at play.
He was grateful when Nurse Roberts brought him more pain medication. While August waited for the drugs to take effect, he leaned back against the pillows and prayed.
"Dear G.o.d, I need to be free from this pain. Such pain and misery takes my mind from the hope that I should have in You." August shifted uncomfortably. "I know I could just as easily be dead or dying-perhaps I really am-but Lord, I want to live. I want to see Beth and the boys, and I want to set things right with them.
"Father, I love Bethany Hogan, and I believe You sent me to her and her children to be a husband and father. I know I"ve doubted Your blessings, but I don"t doubt them any longer. Deliver me, Lord. Deliver me and let me live. Amen."
Chapter 10.
Beth discarded her mending and sat wringing her hands. She was miserable, her boys were heartbroken, and August was nowhere to be found. She blamed herself for driving him out. The image of August"s angry face would forever burn in her memory.
She"d only said the things that needed to be said. She"d never meant to hurt August, but she couldn"t be married to a man who was obviously fighting G.o.d.
The month had been miserable and rainy, leaving Gerald and Phillip bored and stuck inside. Mrs. Miller had graciously shown up to take the boys to her house, but Beth knew they were pining for August, and it was an impossible void to fill.
Then there was the constant worry of war. The j.a.panese still held strongholds in the Aleutians, and every day rumors fed fear and anxiety.
The army insisted there wasn"t any immediate danger, yet there were practice drills from time to time, reminding everyone that the danger was close enough. Civil Defense officials spoke of blackout drills, insisting everyone have heavy curtains to place at their windows. Bethany wondered at this order, given that they were enjoying close to twenty hours of sunshine a day.
Rationing was tightened, and people were encouraged to do without and buy war bonds. Beth thought of the soldiers who labored long and hard to build the highway through Alaska. She thought them fortunate that no one was shooting at them while they worked. At least not yet.
People seemed more neighborly than ever, offering food, oil, and whatever help they could spare. In Alaska, life depended upon such generosity, but the war made their dependency upon one another more significant than ever.
The summer had been busier than Beth had expected, and it seemed there was never a moment to call her own. She had taken in laundry for highway workers, prepared baked goods for the army, and always had more requests for rooms at her roadhouse than she had rooms to offer. It kept her mind occupied for the most part, but not her heart.
Every day she pa.s.sed by August"s room, wanting to check whether his things were gone, and every day as she reached for the door handle, she stopped. She"d refused to rent August"s room, hoping and praying that he"d return, but deep inside, Beth had lost any confidence in that possibility. Opening the door might prove once and for all that her fears were well founded.
Persistent knocking brought Beth hurrying to the front door, hoping that August had returned. The door opened to reveal Mrs. Miller, and Bethany couldn"t hide a frown.
"I"m sorry, dear. Have I caught you at a bad time?" Mrs. Miller asked hesitantly.
Beth immediately felt bad for having given Mrs. Miller the wrong impression. "No, please forgive me. I"m just a bit preoccupied. Won"t you come in?"
"Are you sure I"m not causing you a problem?" the older woman questioned as she followed Beth into the house.
"I"m sure. I must apologize for my demeanor these days," Beth said as she motioned Mrs. Miller to a chair. "Would you like some refreshments? I have lemonade and ginger snaps."
"No, I"m fine. I just wanted to visit with you. I know you haven"t been yourself, and I wondered if I might help. I know how tedious widowhood can be."
Beth smiled and swept her blond hair back over her shoulder. "You are such a dear to me, Mrs. Miller. I seriously doubt I would have made it had it not been for Granny Gantry and now you."
"You mustn"t let the past get you down."
"It isn"t that," Beth said and bit her lower lip.
"Then what?" Mrs. Miller asked and reached across to pat Beth"s hand. "I know I"m being a nosy old woman, but believe me, there are times when talking to someone who understands helps much more than keeping it bottled inside."
Beth smoothed imaginary lines in her olive green skirt. "It isn"t the widowhood that grieves me, Mrs. Miller. The problem does relate to a man, however."
"What widow doesn"t have man problems?" Mrs. Miller laughed softly. "What seems to be the trouble?"
"I"ve fallen in love," Beth said matter-of-factly. "But you mustn"t tell anyone."
"Your secret is safe with me," Mrs. Miller insisted. "Now, why don"t you tell me about it? Perhaps you"ll feel better afterward."
Beth poured out all the details of August"s appearance in her life and how her feelings had quickly developed into love. "I care far more than I ever thought possible. When JB died, I feared I could never love another, but G.o.d has graciously allowed me to love again."
"Then what"s the problem?"
"I"m afraid I sent him packing," Beth said sadly.
"Why? What happened?" Mrs. Miller asked in surprise.
"August has something troubling him. Something that won"t allow him to feel the closeness to G.o.d that I suspect he once felt. I tried to get him to talk about it, but he grew angry and stormed off."
"That was the day the boys helped me pick berries," Mrs. Miller stated.
"That"s right," Beth agreed. "I felt so bad after convincing the boys that August would be here when they returned and then he wasn"t. Gerald didn"t even talk for two days, and when he finally opened up, all this hurt came pouring out. He felt betrayed, and I had to explain that I was responsible."
"But you weren"t," Mrs. Miller said gently. "G.o.d is working in August"s life. You were simply weeding a garden that G.o.d planted long ago. If G.o.d is striving to bring August back to the fold, you aren"t responsible for anything more than living out G.o.d"s goodness and standing on His Word. If that drove August away, then it is still part of G.o.d"s plan."
Beth nodded. "Yes, I"m sure you"re right. But-" She paused and lowered her face. "I love him, and I"m so afraid of losing him. What if he won"t ever deal with his problems?"
"If it"s meant to be, it will be," Mrs. Miller said firmly. "You must stand strong in your faith. G.o.d understands your grief and frustration. Trust Him."