Reading on, Beth was glad to learn that the family who"d purchased her home was being blessed with yet another child and had plans to build onto the house in order to accommodate the addition.
Finishing the letter, Beth noted the fear and apprehension that Karen expressed as she awaited her husband"s return. Beth whispered a prayer for her friend as she refolded the paper.
Setting the letter aside, Beth picked up a pad and pencil and scratched out a reminder to write to Karen at the first possible moment. She knew Karen would need all the encouragement she could get.
Beth glanced out the window to make certain the boys hadn"t fallen out of the tree. She had faced the tree house with fear, but August had convinced her that boys needed such things. Who was she to argue with his wisdom? Giggles filtered down, a.s.suring Beth that nothing was amiss.
Back at the table, Beth sipped weak coffee and tried to plan out the rest of the day. She jotted notes about lunch and supper, but inevitably her mind returned to thoughts of August. She could picture him standing in the yard playing with her children or chopping wood. He was an appealing man with a handsome face and a gentleness that she"d rarely seen in others. Her feelings for him were growing, but she knew he was troubled about G.o.d.
What was it that had hurt August so much that he couldn"t deal with G.o.d? Beth contemplated that question as she continued to enjoy the quiet.
"Beth?" August called from the front room.
Beth glanced at her watch and then at the clock on the wall. It was only nine o"clock. What was August doing back at this hour?
"In here," Beth called and got to her feet. August came through the kitchen door with a worried look on his face. "What is it?" Beth questioned, knowing that August had something to tell her.
"You"d better sit down," August said and pulled the chair out for Beth.
"What is it?" Beth repeated the question.
"What I"m going to tell you has to be kept secret, at least until you read about it in the newspapers."
"I don"t understand," Beth said, and felt her stomach knot.
"You know why the highway was planned, don"t you?"
"Sure," Beth replied. "The government felt it was important to have an emergency road in order to get supplies through."
"That"s right," August said. "Well, now we may very well need the road."
"Why?" Beth questioned. "What"s happened?"
"This is the part you mustn"t tell anyone. The army took us into their confidence this morning. The j.a.panese have attacked the Aleutian Islands," August announced.
"The Aleutians? But that"s less than six hundred miles away," Beth said as the color drained from her face. "Dear Lord, preserve us."
"Look, Beth, the Aleutians are a long ways off. We"re safe here, but the road project has been stepped up. We"ve got work to do and not much time to do it in. The troops are holding the j.a.panese back, but it"s critical we get this road through."
Tears filled Beth"s eyes. "Are we really safe? I mean, are you sure?"
August saw the tears and heard Beth"s voice tremble. He got up and put his hands on her shoulders just as she broke down.
"I can"t bear it, August. I can"t stand the fear, the worry. I have children whose safety depends on me. I just can"t bear the thought of the enemy storming in here and, and..." Beth"s sobs filled the air.
"Don"t torture yourself, Beth. We really are safe. After all, there are more than ten thousand soldiers in Alaska and Canada. There"s more than enough manpower here to keep us safe."
Beth pushed away from August and got to her feet. "We probably had thousands of men in the Pacific as well. If men are so capable, why are we at war?"
"We"re at war because we have to fight to keep free of dictators like Hitler and Mussolini, as well as military monsters like Tojo. Beth, please don"t cry. Everything will work out. You"ll see. Just have a little faith."
Beth managed to compose herself. "Yes, of course you"re right, August. Faith is the key. Faith in G.o.d, though, not in the American military. G.o.d will give them strength and wisdom. Prayer is going to be the key to this victory, and I"m sorry that I let go of that wisdom."
August stepped forward and put his hand on Beth"s arm. "I just wanted you to know what was going on before you heard about it from someone else. No doubt the newspaper will have enough about it in the days to come, but I never wanted to upset you. I know news like this can be frightening."
"I"m all right now," Beth said as she lifted her ap.r.o.n and dried her eyes. She wanted so much to prove her faith to August. Perhaps he"d once had faith, too, a faith that he"d lost because of tragedy. Maybe this was the reason G.o.d had sent August Eriksson into her life- not for love or marriage, but for him to see the truth of G.o.d"s love.
August studied her for a moment. He wanted to hold her, to make her believe that everything would be all right, but in spite of the feelings that continued to grow, August held himself back.
There was something in Beth"s eyes that signaled aloofness. She was content to put the entire matter in G.o.d"s hands, and it seemed to August that she didn"t need or desire his comfort. Shrugging his shoulders, he left the roadhouse with an ache in his heart for something he couldn"t explain.
The hot June sun caused sweat to pour down August"s back as he maneuvered the caterpillar into position. He was frustrated by Beth"s att.i.tude and wondered how he could combat it. She never came out and talked with him about her true feelings. She always managed to hide behind G.o.d or biblical principles, almost as if she knew it would distance August from her.
Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, August acknowledged that his biggest problem wasn"t Beth. G.o.d was p.r.i.c.king his conscience.
It was the little things that got to him. Things like the way Beth would ask him to say grace or the way Gerald would talk about something from Sunday school. Sometimes it was the simple, quiet moments when August was alone in his room and the silence came over him as if roaring out G.o.d"s name.
He"d not known a single moment"s peace since turning away from his heavenly Father, and the turmoil within his heart only grew. August wanted to shout out for G.o.d to leave him alone, but the pressure continued, mounting day by day.
The road work took August away from Beth and the boys for longer periods of time. Sometimes he never made it home because the midnight sun allowed them to work nearly around the clock. Often, August would drop exhausted into a sleeping bag inside one of the administration"s tents. The cots weren"t nearly as comfortable as the bed back at the roadhouse, but as tired as he was, it wouldn"t have mattered if he"d been sleeping on the ground.
Day after day the work continued. They called it "bulldozer surveying," and it was little more than plowing a path through a place where a road had never been intended. Trees, brush, and rocks ended up in messy piles along the road, constant reminders of the haste in which the design was completed.
August would often stare for a long time at the tall spruce and birch trees, trees so thick and full that they were impossible to penetrate with the human eye. It seemed a pity to destroy them.
Dense forests were relieved by brilliant, crystal lakes so blue and inviting that August could almost forget his purpose. Glacier-fed rivers flowed in milky wonder, leaving reminders of the ice mountains that had carved the valleys.
In the distant south, snowcapped peaks rose majestically above green and blue valleys, and everywhere wildflowers carpeted the earth in colors so dazzling and radiant that words could not describe them.
"Eriksson!" a voice called above the roar of the cat"s engine. August shut the motor off and climbed down.
"What"s up, Bill?" August questioned, recognizing the man beneath layers of dirt and sweat.
"I"m supposed to take over your shift. Supervisor wants to see you."
"Oh?" He wondered about the request as he went in search of Ralph Greening.
Ralph was waiting for August in his tent. "Come on in," Ralph waved him in as he finished up a radio call. "Sorry for the interruption, but I have some good news for you."
"Well, I"m always in the mood for good news interruptions," August said with a smile.
"You"ve done a tremendous job for us, August, and I"d like to offer you a permanent position with the Public Roads Administration. You"d actually be left in charge of the Northway area after we pull out. They are going to want to establish a permanent road next year, and I can"t think of a better man to leave behind."
"I"m flattered," August said.
"Well, you"ve certainly earned it," Ralph replied as he shuffled through a stack of papers. "I"ll be happy to return to the States and get away from these monstrous bugs and all this light. A body needs regular nights and days. I can"t figure out how you folks put up with constant light and then endless darkness."
"I guess when you"re born here you don"t give it a lot of thought. We do suffer in the winter, though. It"s hard to wake up in the dark, spend the day in the dark, and then go to sleep in the dark. Coupled with the cold-and I mean bitter, subzero cold-it is a problem," August replied. "But there are winter compensations."
"I don"t intend to be here long enough to find out. We plan to have the road completed before then, and after that you can put up with it."
Hours later, August contemplated his promotion and the full responsibility that would be his when Ralph returned to the States. Did he want to head up such a task?
As he settled down for bed, August wondered at the turn of events. Not long ago he"d thought G.o.d had deserted him. How did he feel now? Hadn"t he proved to himself that he could live life without G.o.d?
He missed Beth and the boys. It had been over a week since he"d seen them. They were so important to him, and thoughts of them were never far from his mind. Did they ever think of him? Did they miss him like he missed them?
August closed his eyes, envisioning Bethany as she moved around her roadhouse. She was so gentle and pure, and her heart was devoted to G.o.d.
His heart had once belonged to G.o.d, too. August shifted uncomfortably as he thought of his efforts to put G.o.d away from him. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. August remembered the words of Matthew 10:33 almost against his will.
"But you took away all my dreams, G.o.d," August argued, realizing that, for the first time in months, he was speaking to G.o.d. "You took it all: my dreams, my hopes, my family. Am I to be forsaken because I dared to think for myself, dared to make goals and dream dreams? I thought you wanted Your children to be happy. Am I to give up my dreams, even my very life, in order to be at peace with You?"
He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. August pulled the pillow over his head as if he could block out the haunting words of Matthew 10:39. The words, however, would not be put aside. G.o.d"s Word had made its home in August"s heart for many years, and it would not leave just because August wished to escape its power.
Chapter 8.
After spending two weeks without August in their home, Beth, Gerald, and Phillip were excited to see his weary frame coming up the path late one afternoon.
"Daddy!" Phillip announced when he spotted August. "Momma, Daddy"s here!"
Beth glanced out the window, and her hands automatically smoothed back her blond hair. August was home!
Gerald went dancing out the door, rushing into August"s arms. "I missed you," he said as August whirled him around.
"And I missed you! Have you been a good boy?"
"I"ve been very helpful, just like you told me to be," Gerald said as August put him down.
Phillip hurried to be next in August"s arms, while Beth stood to the side of the door, wishing she had the freedom her children enjoyed.
August"s eyes met hers over Phillip"s back. He noticed the softness and grinned at her, causing Beth"s heart to pound harder.
"And what about you?" Beth heard August ask Phillip. "Have you been a good boy?"
"Uh-huh. I been helping in the garden," Phillip said, holding up his dirty hands. "See!"
His enthusiasm was contagious. "Yes, I see," August said, inspecting Phillip"s hands. "Since you"ve both been so good, I"ll take you fishing tomorrow. That is, if your mother doesn"t mind."
"Can we go, Momma?" Phillip and Gerald asked in unison.
"I suppose so," Beth replied softly. "Now, why don"t you go inside and get cleaned up? It"s almost suppertime."
The boys hesitated as they looked from August to their mother and back again. "You go ahead, boys. I"ll be here for a day or two." At August"s rea.s.surance, the boys disappeared into the house.
"I"ve missed you," August said warmly. "I never knew how good I had it until I had to live out on the road. I"ve missed everything about this place."
"Even the bugs?" Beth asked with a smile.
"The bugs are even bigger down the road. Out there we have to shoot them down rather than swat them." August laughed and Beth joined him. When the amus.e.m.e.nt pa.s.sed, silence bound them together.
"You look beautiful." August braved the words and allowed his eyes to travel Beth"s form. The dusty rose dress she wore brought out the flush in her cheeks.
Beth didn"t know what to say. She was excited by August"s appreciation of her appearance, yet she was troubled by the warning her mind kept flashing.
"Are you hungry?" she finally questioned, growing uncomfortable in the silence.
"Yes," August replied. "I suppose I"m keeping you from something."
"Only dinner," Beth answered and opened the screen door. "Come on inside. I"ll work while you tell me about the road"s progress."
"It"s a deal," August said, following Beth into the house and on to the kitchen.
"I took a moose roast out of the freezer several days ago, and we"ve been eating it ever since," Beth said as she opened the oven door. "We"re having moose pie tonight."
"Moose pie?"
Beth smiled as she took the ca.s.serole from the oven. "That"s right. It"s moose roast cut up with eggplant, onions, egg, cheese, and seasoning. It"s baked with a pie-crust topping, and that"s why we call it moose pie."
"Sounds good," August said, sitting down.
"I can fix up a mess of goose tongue greens, if you"ve a mind for a salad, and I have fresh sourdough bread."
"Don"t go to any more trouble than you already have," August said.
Before Beth could answer, a knock sounded at the front door. "I"ll be right back," Beth said as she excused herself.
"What a surprise," Beth said as she opened the door to Mrs. Miller. Ushering the woman inside, she asked, "What brings you here?"
"I know it"s last-minute and totally out of line, but I was wondering if I could borrow the boys to help me gather blackberries. I"ve promised the army a great deal of jam, and there"s a huge field of berries ready to pick."
"Well, I"m not sure," Beth said as she led the way back to the kitchen. "Mr. Eriksson is back, and the boys are very fond of him. I don"t know if we could separate them just now."
"I understand, but I could sure use the help. I"d be happy to pay the boys," the older woman added as she struggled to keep up with Beth.
"Oh no, you needn"t pay them," Beth said as they entered the kitchen. In her absence, the boys had been taking turns playing with August and asking him questions.
"Boys, Mrs. Miller wants to know if you can help her pick blackberries."
"But August just got here," Gerald protested from August"s lap.