"I understand, Emira. I can wait until you"re ready," Eros said.I was afraid that Eros would be impatient with me but the calm expression on his face and the way his eyes seem to soften tells me otherwise.
Eros must have seen my memories.
I"ve never really talked about it, but my "family" life was a big mess before I was adopted by Ani"s parents.
Yes.
Adopted.
Ani and I are not related.
My birth mom was a drug addict and I"ve never met my father.
In fact, I don"t even know who my father is.
Supposedly, my birth mother had a one night stand with him and ended up having me.
She didn"t know his name and couldn"t even remember what his face looked like either.
I didn"t expect much from her.
Because, over the years, I lost the courage to believe in anything she said.
When I was 10, she met a man who she thought she loved.
He was abusive, drunk from morning to night, obsessed with gambling, and just as addicted to drugs as she was.
He thought I was a nuisance because the little money he had to spend on me could have been spent on his alcohol.
My mother and I ended up living with him for 2 years before he managed to get rid of me.
For a woman who had a child and was dependent on drugs, it was fairly easy.
He called child protective services on her.
Being that I was so malnourished, barely skin and bones, they didn"t have to do much research to prove that she was negligent and abusive in the care of me.
Especially when I was getting second hand high in their presence.
I was around 12 years old when I was adopted by Ani"s parents.
They were looking for a friend to grow up with Ani since they weren"t able to have any more kids.
As to why our names, Emira and Anira, are similar, I changed my name when I was adopted.
My real given name, by my birth mother, is Annie.
Because it was so similar to Anira, whose nickname is Ani, I decided to change it.
Emira was suggested by my adopted parents.
It didn"t sound like a bad name so I have lived with it for over 24 years.
I lived with Ani and my adopted parents for 3 years until Ani got sick with cancer again.
You would never guess that underneath Ani"s tough and confident sh.e.l.l was actually a very fragile body filled with scars on top of scars.
Ani is brave.
She survived cancer 3 times, and I admired her for her will to live.
Though, at the time, I was jealous of all the attention that Ani got, to the point that I wished I was sick too.
Ani and I fought with each other when she was or wasn"t sick.
In a way, Ani didn"t like that she had to share her parents with me.
And I didn"t like the fact that I was the one to change my name instead of her.
Because of our constant sibling rivalry/bickering and Ani"s sickness, I, once again, became a nuisance.
My adopted parents didn"t have the time to take care of me because of hospital visits, work and keeping Ani company.
It all conflicted with my schooling schedule.
By the 4th year, I was under the care of my grandmother, who was also Ani"s grandmother.
I lived with her for a long while and could not complain one bit.
Except for her strange hookups, she was a great grandmother who took care of me in the best way she knew how.
I loved the little old lady in all of her quirky and funny ways.
But, by the time I was 30, she pa.s.sed away.
As for my birth mother, I haven"t seen her ever since I got adopted.
When she got news that I was getting adopted, she promised that she would come to get me in a couple of years.
But it"s been 24 years since I"ve last seen her, and I find myself uncaring if she came back or not.
I don"t really know what happened to her, but I was afraid to search for her in case I got too emotionally involved again.