"I am going to England," Jean had written that dawn in the house of the mill. "And from there to Holland. I can get past the barrier and shall work down toward the Front. I must learn what has happened, mademoiselle.
As you know, if he was captured, there is no hope. But there is an excellent chance that he is in hiding, unable to get back. Look for me in two weeks."
There followed what instructions he had given as to her supplies, which would come as before. Beautifully written in Jean"s small fine hand, it spelled for Sara Lee the last hope. She read Jean"s desperation through its forced cheerfulness. And she faced for the first time a long period of loneliness in the crowded little house.
She tried very hard to fill the gap that Henri had left--tried to joke with the men in her queer bits of French; was more smiling than ever, for fear she might be less. But now and then in cautious whispers she heard Henri"s name, and her heart contracted with very terror.
A week. Two weeks. Twice the village was bombarded severely, but the little house escaped by a miracle. Marie considered it the same miracle that left holy pictures unhurt on the walls of destroyed houses, and allowed the frailest of old ebony and rosewood crucifixes to remain unharmed.
Great generals, often as tall as they were great, stopped at the little house to implore Sara Lee to leave. But she only shook her head.
"Not unless you send me away," she always said; "and that would break my heart."
"But to move, mademoiselle, only to the next village!" they would remonstrate, and as a final argument: "You are too valuable to risk an injury."
"I must remain here," she said. And some of them thought they understood. When an unusually obdurate officer came along, Sara Lee would insist on taking him to the cellar.
"You see!" she would say, holding her candle high. "It is a nice cellar, warm and dry. It is"--proudly--"one of the best cellars in the village.
It is a really homelike cellar."
The officer would go away then, and send her cigarettes for her men or, as in more than one case, a squad with bags of earth and other things to protect the little house as much as possible. After a time the little house began to represent the ideas in protection and camouflage, then in its early stages, of many different minds.
Rene shot a man there one night, a skulking figure working its way in the shadows up the street. It was just before dawn, and Rene, who was sleepless those days, like the others, called to him. The man started to run, dodging behind walls. But Rene ran faster and killed him.
He was a German in Belgian peasant"s clothing. But he wore the great shoes of the German soldier, and he had been making a rough map of the Belgian trenches.
Sara Lee did not see him. But when she heard the shot she went out, and Rene told her breathlessly.
From that time on her terrors took the definite form of Henri lying dead in a ruined street, and being buried, as this man was buried, without ceremony and without a prayer, in some sodden spring field.
XVIII
As the spring advanced Harvey grew increasingly bitter; grew morbid and increasingly self-conscious also. He began to think that people were smiling behind his back, and when they asked about Sara Lee he met with almost insulting brevity what he felt was half-contemptuous kindness.
He went nowhere, and worked all day and until late in the night. He did well in his business, however, and late in March he received a substantial raise in salary. He took it without enthusiasm, and told Belle that night at dinner with apathy.
After the evening meal it was now his custom to go to his room and there, shut in, to read. He read no books on the war, and even the quarter column ent.i.tled Salient Points of the Day"s War News hardly received a glance from him now.
In the office when the talk turned to the war, as it did almost hourly, he would go out or scowl over his letters.
"Harvey"s. .h.i.t hard," they said there.
"He"s acting like a rotten cub," was likely to be the next sentence.
But sometimes it was: "Well, what"d you expect? Everything ready to get married, and the girl beating it for France without notice! I"d be sore myself."
On the day of the raise in salary his sister got the children to bed and straightened up the litter of small garments that seemed always to bestrew the house, even to the lower floor. Then she went into Harvey"s room. Coat and collar off, he was lying on the bed, but not reading.
His book lay beside him, and with his arms under his head he was staring at the ceiling.
She did not sit down beside him on the bed. They were an undemonstrative family, and such endearments as Belle used were lavished on her children.
But her eyes were kind, and a little nervous.
"Do you mind talking a little, Harvey?"
"I don"t feel like talking much. I"m tired, I guess. But go on. What is it? Bills?"
She came to him in her constant financial anxieties, and always he was ready to help her out. But his tone now was gruff. A slight flush of resentment colored her cheeks.
"Not this time, Harve. I was just thinking about things."
"Sit down."
She sat on the straight chair beside the bed, the chair on which, in neat order, Harvey placed his clothing at night, his shoes beneath, his coat over the back.
"I wish you"d go out more, Harvey."
"Why? Go out and talk to a lot of driveling fools who don"t care for me any more than I do for them?"
"That"s not like you, Harve."
"Sorry." His tone softened. "I don"t care much about going round, Belle. That"s all. I guess you know why."
[Ill.u.s.tration: That Henri might be living, somewhere--that some day the Belgians might go home again.]
"So does everybody else."
He sat up and looked at her.
"Well, suppose they do? I can"t help that, can I? When a fellow has been jilted--"
"You haven"t been jilted."
He lay down again, his arms under his head; and Belle knew that his eyes were on Sara Lee"s picture on his dresser.
"It amounts to the same thing."
"Harvey," Belle said hesitatingly, "I"ve brought Sara Lee"s report from the Ladies" Aid. May I read it to you?"
"I don"t want to hear it." Then: "Give it here. I"ll look at it."
He read it carefully, his hands rather unsteady. So many men given soup, so many given chocolate. So many dressings done. And at the bottom Sara Lee"s request for more money--an apologetic, rather breathless request, and closing, rather primly with this:
"I am sure that the society will feel, from the above report, that the work is worth while, and worth continuing. I am only sorry that I cannot send photographs of the men who come for aid, but as they come at night it is impossible. I enclose, however, a small picture of the house, which is now known as the little house of mercy."
"At night!" said Harvey. "So she"s there alone with a lot of ignorant foreigners at night. Why the devil don"t they come in the daytime?"
"Here"s the picture, Harvey."