Sara Lee took a long breath and went inside, to a most discouraging half hour.
Mr. Travers was on the hearth rug. Mrs. Travers was in a chair, a portly woman with a not unkindly face, but the brusque manner many Englishwomen acquire after forty. She held Sara Lee"s hand and gave her a complete if smiling inspection.
"And it is you who are moving heaven and earth to get to the Front!
You--child!"
Sara Lee"s heart fell, but she smiled also.
"But I am older than I look," she said. "And I am very strong."
Mrs. Travers looked helplessly at her husband, while she rang the bell for tea. That was another thing Sara Lee had read about but never seen--that ringing for tea. At home no one served afternoon tea; but at a party, when refreshments were coming, the hostess slipped out to the kitchen and gave a whispered order or two.
"I shall be frank with you," said Mrs. Travers. "I think it quite impossible. It is not getting you over. That might be done. And of course there are women over there--young ones too. But the army objects very seriously to their being in danger. And of course one never knows--" Her voice trailed off vaguely. She implied, however, that what one never knows was best unknown.
"I have a niece over there," she said as the tea tray came in. "Her mother was fool enough to let her go. Now they can"t get her back."
"Oh, dear!" said Sara Lee. "Can"t they find her?"
"She won"t come. Little idiot! She"s in Paris, however. I daresay she is safe enough."
Mrs. Travers made the tea thoughtfully. So far Mr. Travers had hardly spoken, but he cheered in true British fashion at the sight of the tea.
Sara Lee, exceedingly curious as to the purpose of a very small stand somewhat resembling a piano stool, which the maid had placed at her knee, learned that it was to hold her m.u.f.fin plate.
"And now," said Mr. Travers, "suppose we come to the point. There doesn"t seem to be a chance to get you over, my child. Same answer everywhere. Place is full of untrained women. Spies have been using Red Cross pa.s.ses. Result is that all the lines are drawn as tight as possible."
Sara Lee stared at him with wide eyes.
"But I can"t go back," she said. "I--well, I just can"t. They"re raising the money for me, and all sorts of people are giving things.
A--a friend of mine is baking cakes and sending on the money. She has three children, and--"
She gulped.
"I thought everybody wanted to get help to the Belgians," she said.
A slightly grim smile showed itself on Mrs. Travers" face.
"I"m afraid you don"t understand. It is you we want to help. Neither Mr. Travers nor I feel that a girl so young as you, and alone, has any place near the firing line. And that, I fancy, is where you wish to go.
As to helping the Belgians, we have four in the house now. They do not belong to the same social circles, so they prefer tea in their own rooms.
You are quite right about their needing help too. They cannot even make up their own beds."
"They are not all like that," broke in Mr. Travers hastily.
"Of course not. But I merely think that Miss--er--Kennedy should know both sides of the picture."
Somewhat later Sara Lee was ushered downstairs by the neat maid, who stood on the steps and blew a whistle for a taxi--Sara Lee had come in a bus. She carried in her hand the address of a Belgian commission of relief at the Savoy Hotel, and in her heart, for the first time, a doubt of her errand. She gave the Savoy address mechanically and, huddled in a corner, gave way to wild and fearful misgivings.
Coming up she had sat on top of the bus and watched with wide curious, eyes the strange traffic of London. The park had fascinated her--the little groups of drilling men in khaki, the mellow tones of a bugle, and here and there on the bridle paths well-groomed men and women on horseback, as clean-cut as the horses they rode, and on the surface as careless of what was happening across the Channel. But she saw nothing now. She sat back and twisted Harvey"s ring on her finger, and saw herself going back, her work undone, her faith in herself shattered.
And Harvey"s arms and the Leete house ready to receive her.
However, a ray of hope opened for her at the Savoy--not much, a prospect.
The Savoy was crowded. Men in uniform, a sprinkling of anxious-faced wives and daughters, and more than a sprinkling of gaily dressed and painted women, filled the lobby or made their way slowly up and down the staircase. It was all so utterly different from what she had expected--so bright, so full of life. These well-fed people they seemed happy enough. Were they all wrong back home? Was the war the ghastly thing they thought it?
Long months afterward Sara Lee was to learn that the Savoy was not London. She was to learn other things--that America knew more, through a free press, of war conditions than did England. And she was to learn what never ceased to surprise her--the sporting instinct of the British which made their early slogan "Business as usual." Business and pleasure--but only on the surface. Underneath was a dogged and obstinate determination to make up as soon as possible for the humiliation of the early days of the war.
Those were the transition days in England. The people were slowly awaking to the magnitude of the thing that was happening to them. Certain elements of the press, long under political dominion, were preparing to come out for a coalition ministry. The question of high-explosive sh.e.l.ls as against shrapnel was bitterly fought, some of the men at home standing fast for shrapnel, as valuable against German artillery as a garden hose. Men coming back from the Front were pleading for real help, not men only, not Red Cross, not food and supplies, but for something more competent than mere man power to hold back the deluge.
But over it all was that surface cheerfulness, that best-foot-forward att.i.tude of London. And Sara Lee saw only that, and lost faith. She had come far to help. But here was food in plenty and bands playing and smiling men in uniform drinking tea and playing for a little. That, too, Sara Lee was to understand later; but just then she did not. At home there was more surface depression. The atrocities, the plight of the Belgians, the honor list in the _Ill.u.s.trated London News_--that was the war to Sara Lee. And here!
But later on, down in a crowded dark little room, things were different.
She was one of a long line, mostly women. They were unhappy and desolate enough, G.o.d knows. They sat or stood with a sort of weary resignation.
Now and then a short heavy man with an upcurled mustache came out and took in one or two. The door closed. And overhead the band played monotonously.
It was after seven when Sara Lee"s turn came. The heavy-set man spoke to her in French, but he failed to use a single one of the words she had memorized.
"Don"t you speak any English?" she asked helplessly.
"I do; but not much," he replied. Though his French had been rapid he spoke English slowly. "How can we serve you, mademoiselle?"
"I don"t want any a.s.sistance. I--I want to help, if I can."
"Here?"
"In France. Or Belgium."
He shrugged his shoulders.
"We have many offers of help. What we need, mademoiselle, is not workers. We have, at our base hospital, already many English nurses."
"I am not a nurse."
"I am sorry. The whole world is sorry for Belgium, and many would work.
What we need"--he shrugged his shoulders again--"is food, clothing, supplies for our brave little soldiers."
Sara Lee looked extremely small and young. The Belgian sat down on a chair and surveyed her carefully.
"You English are doing a--a fine work for us," he observed. "We are grateful. But of course the"--he hesitated--"the pulling up of an entire people--it is colossal."
"But I am not English," said Sara Lee. "And I have a little money. I want to make soup for your wounded men at a railway station or--any place. I can make good soup. And I shall have money each month to buy what I need."
Only then was Sara Lee admitted to the crowded little room.
Long afterward, when the lights behind the back drop had gone down and Sara Lee was back again in her familiar setting, one of the clearest pictures she retained of that amazing interlude was of that crowded little room in the Savoy, its single littered desk, its two typewriters creating an incredible din, a large gentleman in a dark-blue military cape seeming to fill the room. And in corners and off stage, so to speak, perhaps a half dozen men, watching her curiously.
The conversation was in French, and Sara Lee"s acquaintance of the pa.s.sage acted as interpreter. It was only when Sara Lee found that a considerable discussion was going on in which she had no part that she looked round and saw her friend of two nights before and of the little donkey. He was watching her intently, and when he caught her eye he bowed.
Now men, in Sara Lee"s mind, had until now been divided into the ones at home, one"s own kind, the sort who married one"s friends or oneself, the kind who called their wives "mother" after the first baby came, and were easily understood, plain men, decent and G.o.d-fearing and self-respecting; and the men of that world outside America, who were foreigners. One might like foreigners, but they were outsiders.
So there was no self-consciousness in Sara Lee"s bow and smile. Later on Henri was to find that lack of self and s.e.x consciousness one of the maddening mysteries about Sara Lee. Perhaps he never quite understood it. But always he respected it.